Welcome


I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte

copyright notice

copyright notice

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

And I do, that is the truth

Look
You keep screaming
But you are wrong
I do not presume to know
What you feel like inside
I can't feel your feelings
Nor read your mind
But I can love you
I can feel love and care
Because I can control those things
And I do
That is the truth


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

You fill my lungs with the air I breathe

From the beginning
I knew you must exist
With every sense I have, I felt you
I felt you breathe the air into my lungs
With a simple kiss
I spent most of my life
Waiting for you to appear
Like letters in the sky, or twinkling stars
Anything to announce that you were here
For me
The mystery of it all was, I trusted, I believed
I expected miracles
And maybe they happened and I missed them
But I was alone
So I rearranged my faith
From knowing that you would
To hoping you could
Just in case
You might decide
I was worth loving
One so great as you
Down to one as low as me
I knew you were there
Somehow, I felt you
In the water I drank
To the air I breathed
Upon the ground I walked
There you were, waiting to talk
But you never spoke aloud
Only to my heart
And I worried
Maybe I missed my chance
You were here and
Chose to remain silent
Instead of speaking to me
Let me know
Please
I beg to be
Redeemed
But I still believe


Sunday, December 28, 2014

Like a Phoenix, Rise

In the end you had nothing
But your rage for the memories
That you could no longer have
Legacies lost, Histories turned lie
Anger, vengeance, bitterness turned you mad
Asylums in your heart
No place for you to hide
Nothing you could do
To express those bitter words inside
Without destroying what little you had
Left to call yourself
Collapse
Under the weight
Of that rage
Let it destroy this life
Release your being
For once
Breathe
If you need
Die
And finally live
Again


Friday, December 26, 2014

The Last Saxon



Hereward the Wake
Last man of Saxon Blood
To rise against the Normans
Did his efforts matter
Did his efforts linger
In the past did he plant a seed
That grew into a forest
Was it a fallacy
A rebellion that echoed
To the present
Or was his life just fodder
A life snuffed out
And crushed by the day
One cannot easily change
The course of a river
But one life can lead
Many to change together
And lead to rebellion
One saying no is the beginning
Hereward was that one

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Let us agree, it is dead

Because I knew
I refused
Why bother I asked
When asked to give a damn
When offered a last chance
One final dance
To reignite a fire
That had died
From lack of interest
My heart waited
For your words
Your eyes
Anything at all
So I let it die
You poked the corpse
And wondered why
But I knew
And didn't ask
It didn't last
Without a hope
Without fuel
For the fire
You didn't care
Until it was gone
So let me die
Alone like I am
Why try
When we both know
It is done
And was
A long time ago

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Lifeless Living

Endless tears
And silent screams
Since you've left
I cannot escape
In the depth of an abyss
A pit laid out before me
A torture self induced
My flesh is sorrow kissed
Without your love to redeem
A plague of misery
How tightly woven
My soul was to you
To come undone is to destroy
All I am
And my dreams stolen
For you were all I longed for
You were all I desired
And now there is nothing
Left of me
Now knowing
Nothing worth saving
Nothing
But plague dust
And fallen dreams
Dried tears
And memories
Ill becoming
A dead man
Left breathing
Without life in his body


Friday, December 19, 2014

We Wait For The Kiss



















When the angel is here
Brings her lips close to ours
We do not linger in the moment
Although our memory might echo
In our life's many hours
Of torment
And joys
Of the victories and pain
Of the laughter bringing tears
The sorrows that remain
No
We do not linger
We recognize her calling
Her lips approach our own
And we know
Time has come
And the echoes of time
Give way
To the echoes
Of life
Childhood
And having children
Growing older
And being old
Kiss our lips
Take us home
Where we will wait
For our kin
In the majesty
Of the eternal
That awaits












Some mistake our bones
Dry and dusty for our being
Even once we have fled
But the bones and the marrow
The veins once wide
Now collapsed and narrow
Everything
That once made our form
Is no longer us
In any sort of way
But dust
Returned to the earth
To be dust
Or grass
Or hay














The memories fade
The tears will dry
The days have been
The years are passed
And everything dies
So our flesh returns to the earth
To start a new cycle of life
And our spirit which has always been
Will linger in eternity
With the eternal
As it should be










Thursday, December 18, 2014

Love Games

Taken in by her words
By her face and by
Her body so perfect
Never thinking
I was the next in a train
Of men to play
Musical chairs of love
I wasn't able to detect
The secret she had used
To trap me and then
Release me
I never knew what hit me
Never stopped to think
How lucky I was
Because
Who wants to be
Possessed
She was beautiful
Yes
But treated men
Like trophies
From the hunt
But she spat me out
After a taste
Then let me go
Will my face
Be upon her wall
Or was I rejected?
I don't know
I don't care
Now

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

In My Father's Castle

I sipped from the goblet
That held the wine of life
It was glorious
The taste of the vintage
Of the grapes of the vine
Grown especially for this day
Never again would it be known
This taste
Nor would I know
Another like it
I drank without shame
For in my father's castle
There was only splendor
There was no fear of want
There was never a day of need
In my father's castle
There was only knowledge of perfection
The walls were built with excellence
Every stone laid with precision
Every corner a perfectly fit
The riders from the horizon
Could see the towers
From the towers the banners rippled
In the winds
The banners drew from every countryman
Pride and love
For our father was a good king
And he loved us and provided
In every way imaginable
Some mock our loyalty
Some say we are not free
They are wrong however
We have the greatest freedom
We chose to be loyal
We chose to be in service
In return we are given
All that we need
All that we want
And more
We are part of the legends
Greater than our own lives
We become part of a story
Woven of steel
And we are part of a legacy
Rich in truth, and lore

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Missing you now

After a lifetime of you
Sitting next to me
You are no longer here
And I am facing eternity
Alone
Even the stars are not alone in the skies
Though distant, they are many
And I ask myself why
Do I face the future alone
Because I will miss you
Forever now
How empty is my home
Without you
It is a building
Nothing more
I can't be
Without you here
Happy without you
But I can remember
What it was like
When you were near

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Unrequited by her perfect beauty

Since I saw her
I have been incomplete
And for having seen her
I have been in despair
I will never be able
To overcome her mystique
She lay there in the finest silks
Her body was finer, without match
The color of her hair was unique
And it poured across her flesh
Her skin so pure and smooth
None could possible imagine it
Without seeing it
She lay still, fully asleep
Her auburn hair was streaked
With indescribable colors
And her lips so full
Drove me mad
With an inner passion
Yes I long for her but I realize
I will never be made whole
By having her in my arms

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The Echo, The View















A nymph known
By the name of Echo
Loved talking
And had a gift of entertaining speech
The wife of the great God Zeus
Hera, Queen of Olympus
Took away that gift
For Hera trusted her
And
Then learned
That her trust was folly
Echo told Hera stories
At length entertained the queen
In truth, had distracted Hera
Because all that while
King Zeus
Who longed to be free
And to be wild
Used that moment
When Hera was otherwise focused
To consort with Echo's sister nymphs
The intimate interludes
In a fashion were due Echo's deceit
Her voice, which she loved
More than anything
Would no longer be hers
She would no longer be heard
As a being in her voice
Now only able
To echo what was said
By whoever spoke before her
Cursed, still she endured
And lived






















Seeing a youth
And following him
She understood that
She very much desired him
He was beautiful
Vain, well proportioned
Reckless and wild
Untamed
Oh he was exciting
She followed at first
From a distance
Who's there?  he shouted
She tried to call to him
Who's there, she replied
But her voice simply echoed
The last thing she had heard
After a chase he said
Let us meet






















And she was thrilled
So she tried to get closer
And he noticed her then
But he became distracted
By the view
Of his face
So perfect
The tranquil water
Like a voice to him
Calling him beautiful
So
So beautiful
And voiceless
She began to cry
And as he stared
Transfixed
He could not move
Until he died
And her tears fell
Until she faded away
And in their place
The echo of the water
Always ringing
Upon the shores
A Narcissus flower
Remains




Friday, December 5, 2014

I wait for the Harvest

I am ready and waiting for the day
When the reaper's blade culls the grain
And my soul

The harvest is my time to be redeemed
To be made whole from all I've been through
And return to the creator

I am not the one who announces the time
When the harvest begins or goes on
So I wait

The creator is the one with control
And like this life, it is not mine to keep
Nor mine to dictate

So I wait


Saturday, November 29, 2014

Believing in Forever



























Never let me go
Please
I believe in forever
Lay with me
Be with me
Sleep, dream and walk together
Let our bond be firm
Never be undone
I want to spend each moment
Loving you, none other
Because you are the only one
We have so little time upon this place
Every second should be dear
Time is not permanent
Our place is insecure
We hear echoes
In the gloaming
Of the ghosts of our past
Coming near
Sand through our fingers
Time lost to each day
Moments lost to our present
Lingering in our fears
Time slips through our bodies
Nothing is left in the end
But the water from our tears
Memories and regrets
Shall never amount to a thing
But the longer we stand and stare
At every ocean of tears
We lose the present moments
And lose time to be near

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Empty Circle

What is there but existence
Breathing becomes victory
In the vacuum of death
Over nothingness
If there is nothing
There is absurdity
In all of this
And nothing more
Leaves us with the choice
Of unlife or pseudo-death
Procreation
Recreation
Death
And the cycle renews
Until there isn't an earth
A place to do that
Again

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Somniloquy

Taken from the mist
Shaken from the dead
Somniloquist
Awakened within 
The eternal dialogue
Somnambulist
Lost while amazed 
Yet we walk
Somnolence
Our flesh is dying
Terminus has arrived
Quietus we stand
Undying but yet

Voluntarily entering
The Island of the Dead
Shall we then be free
Of those who damn
From the judgment
Of the pointing hands
And into the arms
Instead
Of eternity 


















Lord Krishna speaking in the Bhagavad Gita

"You grieve for those who should not be grieved for;
yet you speak wise words.
Neither for the dead nor those not dead do the wise grieve.
Never was there a time when I did not exist
nor you nor these lords of men.
Neither will there be a time when we shall not exist;
we all exist from now on.
As the soul experiences in this body
childhood, youth, and old age,
so also it acquires another body;
the sage in this is not deluded."


Monday, November 24, 2014

United For Our Land

Shall we dance
Across this land
With the minefields
And razor wire
Through the bombs
And the machine guns
Afire
Shall we sing
For freedom
When there is nothing
Beyond our hopes
That we can see
Although the enemy
Is mighty
Although his forces
Are strong
We will fight for our land
Forever
To counter with right
All that is wrong
Slava Ukrayini! 
Heroyam slava!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Upon Avalon's Pristine Shore

I was appointed to guard him
His flesh was different
He was the king
My ship rode upon the stream
Of dreams of the king of Albion
And was lost when he was taken
Closed his eyes to sleep
Upon the bosom of Avalon
So violently parted this plane
With final combat with his bastard
Mordred and Arthur joined
Blood mixing by spear and thrust
First by sword the child
Excalibur ending one life
Mordred's Spear ending the life
Of an immortal being
How can the undying die?
I cannot take any more
My heart is broken
How can the keeper of the flame
Be taken away
The red dragon banner
Coiled in sorrow
Swords thrust into the grounds
In shame
For the loss
Gutted to the core
Arthur king of the Britons
And all of Camelot
Return to us
Or I will die laying
Upon Avalon's
Pristine Shore
Until you do


Saturday, November 22, 2014

Prayers for this Flesh

My father, maker of my dreams
My mother, feeder of my flesh
Give to me my hope
Give unto me my talents
Or cast me to the sea
Let me be able or be free
Let me be dead or able
To draw a freeman's breath
Free me from your chains
Of memory
And of design
Free me from your harness
Holding my tongue
Holding me from standing
To ever raise my arms
To praise the divine
Let me know I am worthy
Of love inside
Forever
Not just for obedience

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Not enough love

When I saw her finally walk in
I lit up in joy
My body was electric
My mood afire
But 
That ended quickly
She looked away
And
When I did catch her glance
She looked at me
With neither love nor sadness
In her eyes
Only resignation
She used to say she loved me
And now I see
She says it no longer
She doesn't say anything
And her look seems
To reveal shame
Why?
Did she want my castration?
It wasn't just frustration?
It was something worse than sadness
A grieving for something
That never was
An aborted love
That never had a chance
For her expectations were so much greater
Than anything I could give her
She wanted a mansion
And my love and being
Could only provide completeness

Monday, November 10, 2014

A Defender


Not because I enjoy battle
But because I have given my life
Not to fulfill a vainglorious fate
But that I have made a choice
I am a human being
Yet I have become greater
Because I am sworn
A defender of the faith
I will continue fighting
Until I am broken
Without relent
And I will keep fighting
Without allies or armor
My fate does not matter
My body is not a vessel
It is neither permanent
Nor is it powerful
But it is able,
It is determined
My flesh some day will pass
It is temporal
But until then
It will continue the fight
Until no blood pours out
Until my heart stops
Until my breathing ends
Because my soul exists
In a place far from this
Because I am sworn
My task had begun
Long before my first act
Whether building bridges
Caring for the wounded
Feeding the poor
Defending the weak
By accepting my oath
My life had already been given
My soul had already ascended
It is this body made of flesh
Animated by some divine
Purpose


Thursday, October 30, 2014

A Darkness Harvest of our Hearts,

Plague of sorrows
Harvest me
In a field of misery
Grieving the passing
Of the youth
From the land
Elders crawl and beg
And no one is willing
And no one knows why
We stare into the sun
Growing more blind
By the hour
The harvest begun
The draining
Of love
Conquest of our hearts
The darkness
Shall never
Depart
I pray this is a dreaming
But I am not sleeping
It is a nightmare
But I am awake
So let this be
Let my end
Be now
I am ready to take
The final curtain bow
For the waiting
The lack of passion
For the end
Many are dead
Despite being labeled
Still alive
I am ready
I am willing
Take me
My arms are spread
Open wide

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Confessional

Awakening
Before I was old
A very long time ago
I was surprised to find
That no one cared about
Things that moved my mind
Let alone my heart and soul
Epiphany
That was when I was young
Encounters with others
Caused me to bleed
This callous world
Drew from me
My being
Grieving

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

My Love, Our Love is Our Moment

I didn't choose you
Love chose us
My heart told me
Who you were
Mon coeur est à toi
Toujours et à jamais
I love you my flame
You've been my love
Since the moment
Had begun
The moment
Became our lifetime
And when I am lost
I call your name
For you are my home
And without you
I am undone


















 “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”Lao Tzu

Monday, October 27, 2014

On High

I was never given wings
So I thought I couldn't fly
But the moment you loved me
I grew wings
I knew I was able
I soared
I was lifted upon the winds
On high
Skyward bound
I climbed like a rocket
No one ever, ever
Gave me such strength
To soar, not even to fly
Breaking the bonds
Of my imprisonment
Of my solitude
Of gravity
You gave me this freedom
These wings
With these wings, upon the winds
I ascended the highest heights
Ripping a hole
In the sky














Photo Source

Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Final Night

I have stood nude to the world
I have been alone in the cold
I have been born worse than dead
For knowing the meaning
Of what is not to be known
The mysteries surrounding me
Are no mystery to me
The world is going to pass
I have still kept true
Because of what I know
This world is cursed
It will live only temporarily
My flesh will pass unto dust
My memories will disappear
My soul will flee the decay
As my body is laid
Into the cemetery
In God I will trust
Even as temptations near
I will not stop to delay
But the end beckons
And my chest grows tight
The few breaths I have left
Will be the harvest
Of the final night

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Your fire burned me

The fire has burned full through
The pain drives me to my knee
Tears pour out
Fires rage unabated
The anger in you
The love in you
The depths of your passions
Are not mysterious
I feared where they might lead us
And surely enough
Your love decided my fate
I burned unto ashes
Until all that remained
Was char and dust
This elegant torture
My delicate flesh
Destroyed again
Now I hunger
Insatiate
Every time I look at you
I bleed from my soul
Never ending pain
Just knowing
You love someone
Else
Burned
Scarred
Castrated
While I waited
For you to heal me
Still knowing
You never will
And I'll never heal

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Just Love

Beloved, I must be near thee or I shall die
       Lover, your lips must be upon mine
Beloved, I must breathe air that has been drawn into you
       Lover, I cannot resist your body entwined
Where there used to be two, now there is one being
Where two hearts had beat, now in unison simply one
The politics of love obeys just this, love is truth
Love only
Love is all
Love heals
Love is truth


Friday, October 17, 2014

Leaving my Hive

Dreams or nightmares
All the same to me
I sleep that of the dead
Not a movement
Not a flash of REM
Blackness and quiet
Urged into action
A busy world
Discomforts
The land
Upon the waking
Dawn cracks the surface
Of the horizon
But I refuse
The beckoning
I refuse the command
To be
What others demand
Of me
By midday I am getting burned
My neck is red from the sun
Beating down
As I walk through the dust
And sand
Midwaist knee deep
My guts churn
The path I follow
Isn't easy
Nor does it matter
It is the only one
I am allowed
I move
As the world
Feels it has done
Something
By making nothing
By breaking something
Creation or destruction
Nothing matters
So long as they look busy
In their hills
Busy
Doing nothing
While I walk
To the end
Again

Because of You

With wings, fly!
Far above the earth
Gazing upon the blue
Look with awe
From the highest sky
Because of the genius
And the excellence
Of the architect
Of the universe
Creator of truth's
Hand and eye!


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Nothing

主忠信。毋友不如己者。過,則勿憚改。

When yesterday passed
Time had frozen in place
Our time came and left
It could never last
Our test failed
We grew old before our time
Our eyes saw the truth
Not the illusion
And we lost our way
Fed upon the lie
We could not accept that
We were betrayed
Once and forever
This was our fate
Of course
This was our world
We had defiled
There was nothing left
Screaming at the sun
Until our souls are hoarse
At last
We are alone
As we should have been
With our sins
In our ant hills
And larvae
And busy nothing











"Judge thyself with the judgment of sincerity, and thou wilt judge others with the judgment of charity. " 
John M. Mason

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Thunder

black skies warn me
in the midst of the morning
when I hear the winds forming
the storm begins raging
in my mind
lightning strikes
thunder crashes
my flesh is a cage
trapping me inside
my bondage
within my being
I close my eyes
they've stopped seeing
All that goes before them
is a blur
close my eyes
shut down my mind
until the thunder stops
and the lightning's flash
strikes no more



















SOURCE

Monday, October 13, 2014

Isolate Suffocate Supplicate

Je suis désolé
I am, in fact, alone
After a lifetime of choices
I have found myself rebuilding
What had never been broken
Hearing voices harrowing me
Because of my decisions
Yet there is nothing 
Shielding my heart
From unspoken hope
I have moved upon 
The surface of this earth
I have walked one million miles
Never wavering
But I am done
Je suis fini
For the reasons 
All of my efforts
Lost among my life's cost
My hopes are dashed
The skies are black
My memory is gray
I am discontented
With my path
And there is nothing more
I can do
Je suis désolé
I have in fact
Become desolation
Suffocation
I begin to suffocate
For this isolation 
I have endured
My body driven 
My body down
To a permanent kneeling
Position
Endlessly
Supplicate  



"It is difficult
to get the news from poems
yet men die miserably every day
for lack
of what is found there."

William Carlos Williams

Philippians 4:6 says, "Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Mjölnir's Wrath
















Lightning
Blue
Electric
Wild
Flies
Across the sky
Mjölnir




















Explodes
Mercilessly
Destroys
One of Surtyr's Giants
More still die
Mjölnir
Returns to the hand
Of the wielder
THOR
GOD OF THUNDER
Son of Odin


















Prince of Asgard
Rider of the clouds
Wielder of Mjölnir
Unleashing lightning

Saturday, October 11, 2014

I am faced with a choice

Have I any worth?
Am I worthy of this life?
I am living
But do I matter?
Why is there so much suffering?
Why do I go on
when so many others fall short?
Answers without reason
Questions I don't want to ask
But need to
Standing shaking before
An ocean filled with emotions
Tears abundantly provided
By the memories of the past
Flooded as I step
Quickly drawn beneath
Pulled up as quickly
The waves lift me
As if by some deity's command
Rivers pour 
Through cracks upon the canyon
Weathering cracked the land
Thrown into the depths
Never moving 
From where we've been cast
I can live now
Or die
By my choosing
My life is in my hands


Friday, October 10, 2014

Jeu de la passion

J'ai peur
la solitude sans fin
l'ennui et la tristesse  
when the sky is just clouds
gray and bleeding down
I could swear
I can see tears falling
and despite myself
they are strangely comforting
able to feel the embrace
of the eternal's arms
as we turn
around and around
in constant
pirouette
we dance
waiting for the dream to end
but it never does
nor should it
I cannot ask
and I can never stop
it would be
a Sisyphus-like task
to disengage
and leave the embrace
outside of the eternal's reach
what and who am I?
but meat in a cage
raging decay
followed by a promenade
jeu de la passion
for the exiled king?


Thursday, October 9, 2014

Ghosts of a Fallen Age

As soldiers are marching
Off to fight and die
For their country
Perhaps they know why
Perhaps they do not
So too they have become
As Loyalty Love Fidelity
Ghosts of a fallen age
Kindness Generosity
Faith Hope Charity
Ghosts of a fallen age
Our parents age and beyond
So old and antiquated
Holding beliefs so unfashionable
So archaic
So passé
Being more because we believe
The group has meaning because we share
The blame, the honor, the sorrow, the victory
All is tossed aside
Thanks to modernity
Forgotten and ignored
Derided and hated
Ghosts of a fallen age
The grinding meal of the gears of power
Ghosts passing
Regrets and doubts
Failed ways
Debts of honor
Costs
We have failed
Because we pursue modern ways
And desire to forget
Everything
The past reclaims


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

I must remember always

Too often I forget
The times where I was
Lost
Fallen and broken
Forgotten by others
Spat upon
Deceiving me
Mistreating me
But you gave me hope
Gave me courage
And love and understanding
Despite my being unworthy
I have healed
I have grown wise
And I have realized
All that life offers
And still I forget
What you have done
By lightening my load
Forgiving my debt
When no one else cared
When no one else would listen
It is not easy when you've overcome
To remember
Because you must go back and relive
The times of pain and sadness
But without that I would not be worthy
Of all you have done for me
I'd like to believe that I am
An honorable man
And to be worthy
Requires my mindful task
Of being aware
Of how I arrived where I am
From the first moments
To the last
Is a journey
A continuum
And that path
Cannot be understood
With the moments of joy
Ignoring those times
When I was crushed
I surrender
For your flag
Is the one I serve under
Yours is the one
That I carry upon my chest
And shield


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

My True name is lost

I have been called a god
By those who worship
Called by many names
None know my name true
They still pray
But I am not
Apollo nor Christ
Yahweh nor Allah
They seek to know
But it matters not
If they could know it
Their curious minds
Could not perceive
Who I am or what I am
They could never endure
The dreadful cost in pain
That I pay
That I continue to pay
For eternity is expensive
For reality has no bottom
For the truths that I know
The pain I experienced
For the hunger
To retrieve from the stream
I have seen galaxies birth
Black holes swallow planets
The glories of creation
Energy swirl about new life
The hands of fate awaken the universe
The cosmic winds blow
And I fly upon them
I have lived forever
Have seen life forms build
Across the surface of the earth
Like ants and anthills
Then whence reaching their peak
They destroy each other
They are united in making war together
Yielding a harvest of bitterness
The tears of eternity pass quickly
For other worlds with be made
Other life forms will break the old curses
By being born into the stream
But they will incur the same wrath
Will follow the same path
Bring upon themselves their fall
The cycle renews
Ad nauseam



Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Even with wings I could not fly

Credit: Rogério Timóteo




















The future is before us
Unwritten
Bright
Shining and spotless
Like the Mediterranean 
Because of my father's genius
We will overcome
His hard work allowed us this moment
We will fly above the sea
Like the gulls
Like the GODS
He is worthy
I will become so
For the child of a god
Is a god
Yes?
He is telling me now all these directions
Don't fly to high
Don't fly to low
Yes yes I know
All I have in this life
Is my father
I have nothing else
He has given me hope
He has given me my mind's work
Together we have labored
To escape this place
And how exciting
My wings will carry me
Away far away
In the thin sky
Above the sea
Some might fear the method
Some might long for safety
But I trust my father's means
And his skills
And his ways
He is the brightest man
Of the entire Greek sea
Which is why he is
Imprisoned here



Lord Frederick Leighton
























I am as well
And we must leave
Or never be free
Like caged beasts
To be pitied
To be of lower class
To be of lesser esteem
My father always said
I was beautiful
I was brave
I was his gift
From the pantheon
Of Zeus
I was not made to be pitied
Nor was he
So we shall fly   
Father said some warnings or such
But I am certain his workmanship will suffice

The sun is so hot
My wings are melting
They fall apart
I am losing altitude
The sea rushes up
To greet me
Father I have failed you
Once again

Credit:  Paul-Ambroise Slodtz, 1741 Musée du Louvre, Paris

Sunday, September 28, 2014

I will let you grieve

Silently, from a distance
I cried as you kissed him goodbye
I shed tears for his life
Soon to pass
But more than that
I cried for the pain in your heart
Because I know
How I would feel
In the same place
But I can't say so
I have to give you room to grieve
To endure
To survive
In your own way
What is in my soul
I believe
All I know
I will be quiet
And pray
Until you can breathe again
There is no shame in sorrow
No shame in the quiet of a hurting heart
Only quiet
And my waiting arms
Although it is possible
The clues are too arcane to know
In the waiting
I might mistake silence
For being unable
To reach out
So call my name

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

My Life, My Winter

Winter for some is renewal 
A time to sleep and recover
It is  part of a cycle 
That inevitably rebounds in Spring
For others it represents the dying of things
The decay of life
My life has entered that season
But I do not foresee renewal
I see terminus
Not for my sorrows 
Or grieving
And not maudlin tears for show
Rather from finding the moment
The period I am entering
As having no way of escape
For not seeing the path
That I know is before me
It is covered
Beneath the densely packed snow
Packed hard from the footpaths
And the travels of others
While I dithered
And was left
To decide my way
I stopped and took a break
And found that I was covered
With ice, and cold, and exhaustion
That might determine my fate


Saturday, September 20, 2014

THE Thunder Gods: Wind and Fire















Once begun
The Divine Wind was a fire
It burned fiercely in the hearts
Of the warriors of the Rising Sun
It was unquenchable
Like a wildfire with fuel
The Kamikaze as they were called
Believed that in their death
They would ascend to heaven
Become Gods Of Thunder
Entering a pantheon
Divine protectors of their homeland













Like the god Susanoo-woo
Who sent the typhoon
The Wind that crushed
Mongols invading Japan
At Hakata Bay
The Kamikaze sought
To follow the path
The winds of the past
Had created
They entered death freely















The pilots attacked
With no chance to survive
They believed they would stop
The tide of war
Fatal calculations
One pilot = One ship
Only the anti-aircraft flak
Could slow down the Divine Wind
The fire raged
Until Japan was crushed
By a different fire
Set by American planes
And two bombs


Friday, September 19, 2014

Been doing a bit of thinking

I might be wrong
But I pray I am right
Even without hope
Keep holding on, as long as you can
There isn't a goal in sight
Keep them tight
Your hands around that rope
Or you'll fall beneath the waves
But never give in
Never give up
Make sense of the chaos
Friends will betray
Enemies hate
Whatever you do
Whoever you are
Whenever you pray
They'll be there
Hating your every move
Because they are made that way
Be different from them
Live for good things
Victory is found
In small things done
Not enemies destroyed
Not epic battles won

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Dreamless State

This is my life
I wait for the end
My life paid out
With wrath
That crushes souls
My journey
So long and alone
Yet I never held doubt
I walked the despised path
Hated and spat upon
Storms crushing hope
















Black clouds
The bleeding rains
Pouring down
So very cold
These wounds never heal
Never rising above
Bitter shame
I can never last
But for now
I endure















But even in
Mother's arms
Even held by love
I can not sleep
Nightmares fill my head
Haunting my dreams
Until I lay
Wakelessly awake
And pray
For any kind
Of relief