Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Part God, Part Human, All Warrior




















He was given life
When great Zeus acted out
In a secret tryst
So his birth proved
His father's wandering
He was thus hated
By his father's wife
Hera, unjustly
In ways
He was perfect
But in others
Not at all
Born a warrior
Holding in contempt
All manner
Of character defect
His way was brutal
But direct
He acted in anger
As well as bravery
He never felt true regret
For he lived every moment
With joy
Even
When faced with strife
He endeavored
His bloodlines filled
The veins of every great hero
Forever he will be remembered
A hero's life fulfilled
Every enemy pursued
Every monster killed
A great man fell
And his world
Was less thereafter

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Catastrophic cost

My life is mine to spend
And the cost
Of loving you
Was catastrophic
This is not pretend
My faith is lost
By loving you
So very toxic
Your ways
Leave me confused and dazed
Why did you start
What could never be
Finished
Why did you break my heart
Making me believe
Showing interest
And then break me
For your seeming pleasure
Oh my God
I can't breathe
Any more
So much pressure
Upon my mind
I am going away
Before I
Drifting, I need to sail
Into the never
You killed this being
It is no suicide
Just insanity
Let me flee
Don't come for me
Let me lay where I die
Losing my hold
Upon my sanity
Hand upon my heart
You on my mind
Please
Let me go


Monday, August 29, 2016

My broken body and flaws

All my life
I burned
To avoid
The burn afterward
And now
After waiting
For so long
I am undone
By the truth
Of my fears
I am gone
Flesh fades
A masquerade
A facade
And proof
Of life
My voice
Is blowing
As dust
Carried upon the wind
By the whims
of the Gods
How long
Shall I be
Unsaved
From my self
How long
Shall I believe
In hope
Despite my flaws
My tears become
A flood
Am I the flaw
Being redeemed
By the sacrifice
God please
Receive me
Covered as I am
With the blood
Of your son




Saturday, August 27, 2016

When the Locusts attack

Following centuries
Of riots
Of wars
Earth was ripe with squalor
The human populace
Somehow survived
Although tasked
Hungered and bitter
The end was predicted
By the prophet's words
The scholars
Had all denied
The eventuality
That did come
The smoke rose so high
Above the fields
Empty of grain
Bereft of color
Many tried to run
Trying to escape
Never fast enough
To escape fate
The locusts were unleashed
Violence and terror their power
Messengers of the end
The appointed hour as ordained
By the prophet's words
Came without delay
The dead bodies remained
Exactly as they fell
We, the sheep, feared
Fled mindlessly
As the beasts of hell
Poured out their violent fire
The remnant survivors
Scattered
Lives shattered
By the harvest
Great was the yield
With their bitter tears
They ran
Across the sparse fields
Destroyed by blight
The last paragraph
Of the final chapter
Of the eternal story
Was about to conclude
We were exhausted
No energy left
There was nothing
That gave the flesh
Anything inside
Left to flee
The famines
And plagues
And wars
Had all drained resistance
And hope
We hungered, yet
Could not be satiated
The hunger raged like cancer
A world exhausted of life
Cast out the human burden
The black clouds rose
Streaming upward
Cloaking the oncoming
Armageddon of violence
As it prepared to deliver
The remnant population's birthright
The locusts reacquired targets
Hovering loudly
Circling above the remnant few
The locusts held us prisoner
By their hateful flight


"And out of the smoke locusts came down on the earth
and were given power like that of scorpions of the earth."
 
Bible: Revelation 9-3

Friday, August 26, 2016

Rubber room confidential

Round room edges
Black light darkness
Strait jacket dinner
Jumping from ledges
A painter who is artless
Patron sainted sinner
Fallen angel love
Release the doves of war
Emptied account treasure trove
Come home my hated amour
Up is down
Left is right
Love is hate
War is peace
Welcome to my holy ground
Your love left scars
My love is au fait
Should you investigate
The claims will be unfounded


Thursday, August 25, 2016

Bleeding room


Today I recognize
The absurdity that exists
My insanity is the only way
To feel, without sympathy
The world will not ask if you are feeling ok
It neither forgives, nor forgets
It remembers everything
Makes you regret
Everything
And those memories slay
Every hope you have
That could wipe the bleeding away
From your future
I am fleeing
Everything that gives chase
I am prey
And I pray not to fall

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Dirty despite my efforts to scrub

I know
It was me
All my doing
I am covered by the flaws
And my sins are legion
So when a blindside assault
Led me to collapse
Inside
Despite my defenses
Being up
I had to go
Far away
Deep in hiding
Everything is my fault
Over time I've relapsed
Into a fool senseless
Dirty with sins
No matter how I scrub
I cannot make myself clean
Neither on the outside
Or within
My sorrow burns like gasoline
And my heart
Is made to freeze
Lifeless
Grieving
Life is not for me
Time to leave
Endless are the echoes
Of the faithless cries
No one hears
When I scream

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Let me be

To be free was a simple request
Because to remain with them
Was a form of torture
To be me, when my life was a mess
Was to be condemned
Existence gave no quarter
I was an outcrop
Of sorrow
In a field
Of gluttony
I was a moment
Of pleasure
In a death camp
Where the harvest
Was abundantly
Full
No leisure
Nor treasures
Just torment
And ferment
Disaster and catastrophe
My heart was severed
Put me out of my misery
I long to be freed
Of my captivity
If you see me there
Just let me go
Life isn't fair
But don't worry
About me
I am just a sheep



Monday, August 22, 2016

Ghosts of the Nephilum's Children

They were beautiful
But also different
Alien in look
Strong, agile and dangerous
In most imaginings
Humans feared them
They were bright
But had to devote their minds
To survival in savage times
For them
Fate was not kind
Ancient and distant
Far from our reach
Scholars and history
Doesn't remember them
But for their bones
Laying in shallow graves
They passed like the dust
Never knowing love
They were the broken
Far from being blessed
They were hated without a home
Upon earth's soil or in heaven above
They were damned by the path
That their ancestors had taken
The sins of their fathers
Repaid upon the generations
To follow
They accepted their misery
Rejecting redemption
Lingering in the echoes
Of their unfair destiny
They remain
In the wind
Falling like rain
When the waves crash
You can hear their cry
When the lightning flashes
You can see their sorrow
That never passes
They have accepted their chains
And will never flee
Simply singing
Their mysterious songs
That fall as rain
And catastrophes


Sunday, August 21, 2016

Fleeting glimpse

I long for you but
Daylight is inopportune
I need you with me
So I wait for the moon

It was no coincidence
That we were to meet
It was no random chance
We kissed in my dream

I lived in the splendor
Of holding you tight
I offered you my surrender
On that moonless night

How am I to go on
For the rest of my life
Knowing I'll be without you
My soul bereft of your light

My love I am crushed
There is nothing to do
My world is empty
Now, here, without you

I can dream still
I am burning there in fire
Love you fulfills
Each of my desires

Farewell my love
I pray I will see you again
The morning approaches
My heart now enchained

I wait until sleep
Brings you back to me



Saturday, August 20, 2016

Your mercy, grace and love

On my knees
Exhausted of my body
There is nothing left
But to ask
Oh for the mercy
Your grace and love
I sing my, love
Forgive my weakness
Love my only love
Forgive my distractions
Accept my offer
Please, of this chalice
Of wine, from two vineyards
One eternal, one material
Both in unison
To cure us each
Of the madness
That breaks us
We call it everyday
Our world becomes a battleground
Our love is an asylum
But because of our pain
Our hearts are made a maze
Strewn with sorrow
Grieving over lost chances
Know, though, that
Love cannot be tamed
It is time to end this
Without shame
These are tears are joy
I long to be
At once with you
Drink of the wine
And let us love again
And together let us remain
One with another
Equals in love and souls
My dream become real
You are an angel
And the sight of you
Makes my breath quicken
My heart beat repeating
You are the truth
Love makes me complete
And my soul renews
For your touch


Friday, August 19, 2016

Confusion sets in



After a life
Of dialogues
I ask why
You ask how
We speak out
But we use
Different tongues
I am so confused
Fall down
Wondering
If any thought
Is allowed
What if I mattered
Instead of
What I do now
What if you cared
Instead of
Wishing I would die
Is there anyone
Able to give me
More hope
Or is that disallowed
Does it matter
I just want
Someone to be
Able to show me
That it matters more to live
Than to have answers
To the questions that burn
Inside me that burn like cancer
To all my questions why
This existence
This presence in the stream
Is not enough
Not nearly enough
Are you
Able to feel my tears
Inside your heart
And tell me
Who am I?
Bleeding inside
From wounds unspoken
Broken outside
Causing people to
Pass me by
That is who I am
I don't matter
Again
As if I ever could
It is out of my hands
As if it were ever in them

Thursday, August 18, 2016

in my arms you bled

I was told
To take your body
And dispose of it
How could I know
That it was empty
Of your spirit
You were condemned
Your flesh was vacant
And life had fled
I looked at the blood
That you shed
I put my finger there
Where the nails
Were punched through
Deeply
You did not despair
And the crowd
Had dispersed
Without a sound
But grieving
Weeping
Excepting those who
Haven't reverence
For the dead
From your thorn crown
Tears of red
Were pouring down
Again
Where there was
The lance wound
In your side
That is
Where MY lance
I pierced your ribs
I cut into your viscera
I listened to your stopped heart
To make sure you were dead
They said
The tomb was emptied
And then
They said
You were seen
By those who
Were your disciples
I believe
You
Rose
Again
And I have to ask
For forgiveness
For killing you
Because I know
That you must be
The son of God
I am less than a man
I am a sinner
My sins caused you to die
And you are alive
You are life



Wednesday, August 17, 2016

lying

let the razor cut
across the vein
before I betray you
let my heart beat out
before I steal your trust
and lead you to hate
me
cement my lips shut
before I seal my own
fate
by lying again
I'd rather
die
than remain
in the cesspool
of dishonesty
reveal the vain spew
coming out of this fool's
mouth
I am so
very sorry
for my stupidity
and the words
I said
these idiotic
things I say
ultimately will slay
this fool dead
I am empty
when I lie
let me die
die


Tuesday, August 16, 2016

I am not perfect

None become perfected
Except for God
People will never become so
Nor should we expect
Such a fate
My flesh is flawed
Despite the design
My soul is broken
Despite it being eternal
My flesh is, in fact, a facade
A casing most carnal
I will find a way
Despite my limitations
To arrive in heaven
Due to the sweetest of mercy
And the most undeserved ever
Salvation




Monday, August 15, 2016

Lost to us

The honored dead
Who gave their lives
Have their passage paid
By the countries who needed
Their service

Escorted to the place
Where their souls
Are kept
They are finally
Allowed to sleep

None embrace
Elysium
But once there
They enter a dream
That cannot be described

Ethereal spirits
Speaking
To their king
Are remembered
With honor

More than bones
They are the spark
That live on
They are there
Without pain

At last






Sunday, August 14, 2016

Strive and Rise

I once crawled
Couldn't could run
My bones covered
In a cloak of dying flesh
I could barely move
Nor wanted to do so
Nor be more than a body
A delicate fragile creature
But a corpse
Purple, even swollen
Then I met him
Beneath that sun
Hanging there
For things I did
Now
I strive
       ascendant
I rise not just survive
The clouds are my carpet
My feet touch only air
As my body flies
I will not regret
Any choice
I will thrive
I will risk
Constantly seek
Not just exist
Living meekly
No longer an option
No, now
I speak fire
In the face
Of the enemy
And embrace
The struggle
For what I am
I am meant to overcome
The struggle
Will not become who I am
No, it will guide my hand
Yes my rise has begun
I rise
Because of him
I RISE
Refuse defeat
Will never return
To the depths
Beneath my feet

Saturday, August 13, 2016

unrequitable

I know the truth
and with every breath
my soul whispers
that I love you
every portion of my flesh
is broken and blistered
when I experience deja vu
and you say nothing
in reply
such a bitter
defeat
the weight of failure
so crushing
so painful
and I should say
goodbye before
I make a fool
of myself
or I should say
a bigger fool
I am regrettably
open hearted
and thereby
doomed




Friday, August 12, 2016

Cruel reality

When war goes unchecked
Humans unleash fire
To reach an end
Nuclear aftereffects
Remain
For generations
Thereafter
Countless sunsets pass
And no one can forget
There can only be the feeling of regret


Thursday, August 11, 2016

Despair

a memory of her love
was the only thing that buoyed
her
this source of hope
was gone, but her memory
was doomed to the past
there was nothing left
the seconds in the time glass
passing quickly
nothing could lesson her pain
life had left her bereft
but she had memories
and they
were not
enough


Wednesday, August 10, 2016

a different home

The world will survive us
Whatever we do to it
We are destructive
And shouldn't wonder
Why we will be ejected
From our home
But our nature
Is to seek
To discover
To learn
To be successful
And not rejected
And this new home
Will be infected
By us
As with our first mother earth
And the new earth
Will be no different
Just as we should have expected


bad anniversaries




with hopes unrequited
our screams muffled
we were united
in the war
Our collapse
after years
of the struggle
led us to the same tombs
our will taxed
how could we go on
we shared a womb
shared our sorrow
grieved the same
we were spawn
of our fears
and we feared
everything
because we were broken
with black spirits
with wounds
unhealed
unspoken



I miss you Cathy

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Embrace

I've longed to linger
Long in your embrace
I am stunned
By the depth
And am moved
I see the children
We'll have when I see your face

Echoes of love
Surround me as I gaze
Without guile
I am lost while
Searching your eyes
As my spirit flies

I've learned to reject
Any denial
That comes with
Being made
A complete pariah
Due to my surrender

For I long
For you
Alone
Only you
Not as a savior
Or messiah
I long for you
To complete my heart

Without you
I will spiral
Into a pit
Of despair
I love you
I miss you
I wait upon your arrival

In my heart
You are here
Already
I stand fast
Come complete me
This is a love
That will last
Do not delay
Be fast


Monday, August 8, 2016

why we grieve a harvest


grieving a harvest
of sorrow
we planted the seed
of ire
and reaped
our very generation's
burning fires
we begged
for grain
but ate the seed
left none for winter
storage
and instead
entered a sleep
so deep
despair
beckons come here
my child
we might well be dead
our secrets will keep
and the future
might never
bother to appear

Sunday, August 7, 2016

flaming wreck











My throat
empty of noise
Despite screaming
The silence
Deafening
Asleep
Dreaming
No thought
No vision
Mind racing
Down a dead
End street
I
Died
A flaming wreck
Why don't
I just
say
something
anything
before
no one are left
to hear me
is there no one
nothing
to say
worth saying
nothing left
worth praying
knees bleeding
from supplicating
I'm bleeding
From speaking
In tongues
no one knows
what the hell
I am saying
words broken
nothing spoken
for the sake
of it
nothing sacred
I am
an empty painting
forsaken
of my own
design
spill the wine
this vintage
is spoiled

Saturday, August 6, 2016

The Winter Fleet Led by Angels of Battle



We were taken
to our destination
how could the enemy
be prepared for the moment
when we were able to attack
our path was prepared
led through the ice floes
and the frozen snow fog
by the angels of battle
who are we
to be so ennobled
to be so baptized
in our destiny
Sent from the capital
at Adrianople
We were the last hope
After the world turned cold
When the mountain ice
came down from the north
stealing our land
and lives
we had only this chance
to take battle
to the frozen beings
who seemed to be
the ones who sat
upon the throne of ivory
and frozen glory
this was our last effort
Christian, Muslim,
Hun, Rus
All the surviving men
Joined in an effort
To rid the land
Of the ice giants
and their king

Friday, August 5, 2016

My life released

I loved you
but you
tried to
live my life
make my decisions
as if you could
I asked
and asked
then begged
For you to give
my life back
From your
clenched
white hands
and you never
did
because you couldn't
you wouldn't
it would kill you
almost a form of
suicide
you couldn't do
what that would do
and you could not see
that it was true
that you could not
control another life
no matter
how hard you tried

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I remain



She was raped
And carried me
Despite hating me
My birth was easy
Compared to the curse
That I was
My life
Was a flooding river
Run well beyond its course
I was a presence
A ghost upon the earth
No one knew why
I bothered to exist
No one bled when I was cut
And I was white from blood loss
I became nothing
Pale
Hollow
Empty
Until I faded
From
Existence
And view
I was nude
Uncovered
Still invisible
My soul painted
With the screams
Of innocence


Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Changing

A reckoning for the world
A quickening for the people
With nothing
But wounds and the wounded
To guide them
We are the broken
We are the bleeding
We are the lucid
Who know what has been done
It is time
We know it is time
For a change
The door has been open
For so long
But no one listened
Until now
It is time
And we are going to be
Different
And achieve
Metamorphosis


Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Our Quest

Whatever we face
We all must embrace
The eventuality of our test
Ending with death
There is nothing left
Our flesh is dust
Made of clay
Only the spark remains
So live this existence
With defiance towards fear
And resistance
Towards malevolence
And live only
To know
What is true
Our life is worth
Only what we make it
By creating our earth
With kindness
Our reality
With gentleness
And our future
With hope






Monday, August 1, 2016

collapse

after this long journey
I collapse
into your hands
hold me there
as I worry
if I did well
and tell me
how much it mattered
every time
I fell
shattered
by the velocity
of the impact
tell me
you needed me
to be
what I was
every time
I stood there
in the fire
burning
for the chance
to tell you
I love you
even if
you did not
even if
even if
I never mattered
to anyone
else