Monday, November 20, 2017

I am a failed, flawed man, but...

The demons call my name
Knowing my eternal shame
I live with the knowledge
Others would die to avoid
I am broken
I am fallen
I am hated
And deserve to be damned
But I am not my failures
I am not my flaws
Waiting for the final blow
Yes I am make that stand
Still I know
I am eternal
And I know the one
Who created me
All I am
All I will ever be
I speak for the fallen
I bleed for the broken
I am hated for the hated
And I stand with the damned
But I am
And all I ever will be
Child of the one
Who created me

Sunday, November 19, 2017

It ain't beautiful, special, fabulous or real

If you take pride in your personal beauty
If you think your race is special
If you love the car you bought
Or giant screen television
You are a fool truly
Your race is common, not precious
Your car is less special
Than the metal with which it is wrought
Your values leave you imprisoned
For you are worshiping the created
And not the creator
And like a sole star
In the black of your soul
Your idolatry burns bright
All that you hoped for
And patiently waited
Those precious fruits
Of your labor
Will never bring you joy
Ignore the creator
Uplift the creation
Leaves you only decay
And torment
Hell's caress
As you burn
With envy
And pride
In things
That are

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Left With Everything, And Nothing

Watching the ocean tide
The pulse and rhythm
I watch knowing
You'll leave
Come back
And leave again
So there you go
I wave goodbye
Best wishes, I won't cry
My flesh crawls with the memory
Of trying to win your love
Because it was never there
Never fair
You had a choice
I never got to choose
And I was the one
Who provided the time
The love
The wine
I was the one
Still there
Left behind
When there was nothing
So nothing left to lose
But everything

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Nowhere to run

Every time I remember
The scent in the air
Left by your walking near
The year long December
Cold and unfair
When you were here

Taking everything I had
Wanting more
Taking that too
And I surrendered
To your needs

Every time I see the darkness
Smothering every light
A Cloak of evil upon you
I was fallen and my hands were artless
I knew you wanted a final fight
But you refused to hear the truth

You took everything
You screamed for more
You broke into my dreams
Slaughtered me there
And left my corpse upon the floor

What is left
Of my heart's hope
I was cursed not blessed
I was crushed
Looking at the approaching crash
Of this precious globe

I can't sleep at night
I have nothing to dream
I have nowhere to run
Not even in my sleep

You are no longer human
I know you will devour me

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

winds full of wind

I know, I know
I can't hold you back
Let alone hold you at all
Your gaze into danger
Without fear
Or motive
Just desire and hope
You are the kind of person
I'd love to have loved
You are person
I'd love to have been the one
Without rancor show
The depths of my soul
Because with you holding
My hand, I'd be whole
And I'd feel the mercy
Pour down
And I'd find a way
To be redeemed

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Beneath the Dog Star

None can deny its beauty
Nor can any not hear its hum
Powerful and evoking greatness
Brightest star of the heavens
Sign of the beginning of the flood
Bringer of the hottest days
Boiler of Achilles blood
Star of imaginations
Light of the evening dark
Marker of passing generations
Watching as humanity is undone
And civilization after civilization
Passing and birthing anew
Dog Star is growing brighter
While all other stars dim
And time has no effect
Nor does aging upon it show
Empires fade, nations die
As the anthems of heaven's choirs
Sing for the star eternal
And none can match the glow

Monday, November 13, 2017


Have I not bled for you?
Have I not fought for your name?
Have I not given everything?
Have I not walked through flames?
I have done all of this
And more
I do not bear your shame
I am a warrior
A gladiator
And I refuse to be tamed
I have bled for you
I have fought in your name
I have given everything
And I bear no shame

You are my master
I've lived for you
You are my commander
There is nothing that exists
That I would choose
But you
My lord
I might wallow in sorrow
From the pain
But for you my lord
I persist

Sunday, November 12, 2017


Fight the voices despite the toll
Don't submit to the grieving
While the cost is great
We must refuse to regret choices
For it was destiny
Not fate
We own our lives
Not the circumstances
There will be times we have no chance
Do not accept guilt
For choosing what was forced upon us
Do not accept questions about justice
Sometimes there is no escape
I refuse to forget that my life is my own
Even when wounded
I cannot be responsible for the acts of others
So I will not mourn
When the darkness smothers hope

Saturday, November 11, 2017


Your kiss I still taste
Memory of your embrace
Still haunts me
I wish to chase your body
And touch you
Beneath my fingers
Your skin so soft,
Softer than velvet and down
The time together I miss
Your face
Your form
Your scent lingers
Upon my tongue
But you are
Nowhere near
And I have been fading
Since you left
Without anyone
To replace the void
That remains
In your absence
Darkness smothers
Your voice echoes
In memory

Friday, November 10, 2017

grind the gears of culture

The grinding gears of conformity
May well crush the forces of self
But until it kills me
I will fight it as long as I am alive
That is the guarantee
Every ounce of I am
Grind gears
Grind away
I refuse to surrender
So long as I have breath
I will exist
And when I am done
You will remember me
For my death
I am a body
You are cancer
I refuse to be
Who you declare
I am one
You are not my master
I am one
Not one of many
I am made of flesh
Within I possess a will
I will gladly march to oblivion
But you will not be
My commander

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Stopping the Flood

Humans live as if they believe
Their flesh is eternal
Ignoring the concept of death
For themselves
An abject sort of vanity
Allowing their minds to be pacified
While the world is in stasis
But in the back waters of the planet
The oceans rise and spill
The dark stank waters sit
Waiting for the break
A breech in the wall
So that order can be consumed
By Barbarity
For millennia the flood waters have risen
And so few saw the oncoming wave
The Greeks saw it, and fought it
The Romans saw it, and were overcome
Every empire
Every nation
Sees the flood
Of coming damnation
No messiah to save them
No order left behind
Once the flood strikes
Civilization dies
And come mass insanity
Those who survive
Will light a torch to the world
Burning all that remains
Soon, all is wiped out
The Deluge reigns
Only bestial remnants of humanity
Exist still to say We were here

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Like Jacob who wrestled an angel

And now
Even chained
I cannot be tamed
Woe them who try
I had to wrestle free
My spirit
Simply to be born
Then had to fight a demon
Who was sent to destroy
All I was and could ever be
But I was born
From a woman
Who herself was born wild
She had a soul
Fully brave
Raised in battle
Purified by fire
She ran the gauntlet
And shared that heart
With her child
Despite my being torn
From her arms
By circumstance
And I was cast
Into the wilderness
Untamed I only knew how to resist
I sought only to fight
And never tire
I longed to capture and slay
Each and all of my prey
Who walk the path
Who choose to defy the law
Who seek to harm my kin
Who invites my wrath
And now though chained
My heart is ever free
And they will quake
When I am released
For they have sold themselves
By their own hands
To me

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Unleashed power

Despite the journey
I still believe
Nothing could stop me
Not temptation
Nor spiritual starvation
Nor any hunger
This desert has been vast
But I have heard a voice
Calling me, guiding me
Through the darkness
The black clouds
Fall the Rain
Now come the lightning
Unleash the thunder
With no fear of damnation
The majesty of the storm
Run through my life
Let similarly fall
His reign
The power of the lord
The great salvation
He calls me to him
My eyes never close
Watching creation
My flesh trembles
Not in fear
But for the wonder
Of the power

Monday, November 6, 2017

RAMESSES, Lion of Kadesh

The sting of a scorpion
Attacking from behind
Is especially painful
Feeling dirty, unethical
This was treachery and to many minds
Kadesh would be made to pay
An outlying province
It had changed paths
Formerly loyal even passive
A distant client state of the Egyptian Empire
Of Ramesses
Later called Lion of Kadesh

They were not truly rebellious
Whatever Ramesses' opinion
Kadesh had left
And did not desire independence from,
Nor to commune with, Egypt
This was something called reabsorption
Returning to the Hittite empire
A long time Egyptian foe

Kadesh was at the distant reach of Egypt
Some leaders there, therefore
Might have not feared
The coming military blow
Perhaps thought themselves safe
But while being seen as being rebels
Would be dangerous for any province
Being seen as treasonous, traitorous
Would lead to a far different fate

King Ramesses
Reached for his great bow
Called for his chariot driver
And notified his officers
It was time for his army to march
They would share a welcome
To any who rebelled
From the newly tightening orbit
Of his power

For Kadesh, now was the hour
Of destiny
It was a fortified city
On the border between two empires
It was used to being used
And the time had come to decide
Who will rule it, and would it even survive

The journey to Kadesh was very long
With an army for the day that was massive
Separated into four cadres, each of 5000 men
They marched behind the elite of Egypt
A chariot force led by King Ramesses
Such a force kicked up a great cloud of sand

Walking through a desert with thousands
It is impossible to hide your men
The King's chariot force arrived first
Egyptians gathered before the walls of Kadesh
His infantry still marched far behind

A force 2000 chariots
Lay in wait, a hidden army from Kadesh
Ambushed the unready Egyptian forces
The chariots cut straight through the infantry
The surprise leading to a massive slaughter
Egypt's army was bleeding
And confusion reigned
Ramesses's remaining forces still had not arrived
Another Kadesh ambush would win the day

Someone in Pharaoh's camp saw a wall of dust
Heard a rising cry and the din of the conflict
From the battle site
And with a shout of urgency
Ramesses gathered his chariot forces
The elite of his great army
He took many extra quivers
Knowing he'd need every single arrow
And entered battle quickly

Like a lion Ramesses struck
His agile form rising high above the field of battle
Loosing arrow after arrow with his great bow
Into the chests
Piercing the hearts of the enemy chariot crews
Ramesses never relentedNever allowed the foe
A chance to respond

With bladed great wheels of his chariot
His driver, the best in the land
Sliced through the survivors of the ambush force
Ramesses and his elite chariot force
Turned the tide with great slaughter
And by his hand, the desert sands turned red

All of the cadres of the Egyptian forces assembled
Ramesses had stopped a flood, almost single handedly
The Kadesh forces retreated back into their walled city
The surviving attackers prepared to be destroyed
But again, just as some didn't expect Egypt to march
King Ramesses acted against common wisdom
Refused to fully launch his army

Instead, he had his force wait, and marching
Skirmish aggressively outside the walls of Kadesh
Soon enough there were entreaties
The Kadesh leader and Ramesses met and spoke
They promised to exchange daughters
And sons for marriage
To restore the relationship
And perhaps restore their place
In the eternal empire
Of Egypt

The name Ozymandias from a transliteration of Ancient Egyptian into Greek.  It comes from a part of Ramesses' throne name, Usermaatre Setepenre, "The justice of Rê is powerful—chosen of Rê".

Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert... near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:

And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

I served my lord, and he redeemed my faith

I have journeyed my entire life
Following the righteous way
I long to be finished
However, the end will be the grave
My path has become wearisome
My faith has become besieged
I have paid for my path, with my soul
But the demons have been unleashed

This is a quest without end
But not a life without reason
I have fought only with honor
Have never been accused of treason
My king's castle is great
In his keep there are many rooms
There I long to be allowed to sleep
Instead of being entombed

My soul by now is battle worn
But my beliefs have never paled
I seek only to serve my lord
To be of some avail
My chainmail is brown with rust
The rains mix with my salty tears
My eyes have seen the end
And my service has been years

Oh Lord I am your servant
I am weak where you are strong
I have walked without end
Until my flesh has gone
Please be kind
I do not deserve your grace
But I seek your mercy
And your full embrace

John 14:1,2,3

1Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. 2In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am.…

Saturday, November 4, 2017


Why did you leave?
Why didn't you say goodbye?
What did I do?
Did I make you cry?
How can I change your mind?
Or do I know
You got what you wanted
And took the shards
Of my broken heart
And threw them
In the ocean
Never to return
To see if I survived
I know you never wanted to be mine
You just wanted to be wanted
I know I am not wrong
I should have learned
I see clearly
But my chest hurts
Where my heart belongs
A smoking empty cavity
And I am fool
Because knowing it all
I'd still welcome you back
After you've gone
I am such a fool
If I were young
It'd make some sense
But why bother?  Why?
I am old
And it makes no difference
I might as well go
Watch some shitty movies
Drink some beer
And cry
And blame someone
Other than me
For what happened here

Friday, November 3, 2017


We spend billions searching
To find intelligence in the outside universe
But every single day
We kill thinking animals
And who does that
Make the beast?
If the slaughter ever stops
Our world might recover
But the oceans run red
And the fisheries die
We live, but really are dead
Because we shit where we live
And have no idea
How truly foolish we are
We pollute the sky
Suffocated of breath
We could stop
But choose to not
And rob ourselves
Of the air for our lungs
To nourish our flesh
Humans are fools
We still have an Eden
After many millennia of abuse
We could all exist
In perfect bliss
Instead we choose

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Before I give up, I need to say

When I kiss you goodnight
I close my eyes
Never knowing
What dreams might happen
I might be able to fly
Because of you
My heart dances
From the thought of seeing you again
Should you know what I mean
Please say so
I melt from your touch
Am I dreaming
I love you far too much
To stop
Please don't judge
You are my greatest dream
My highest hope
My burning stirring within
I miss you when you aren't here
Even for a moment
I worry and I know
I should learn to trust in good things
It isn't that easy
If you know where I've been
But then
You are the reason
I hope to escape
From this prison
Of myself
My life
Hasn't seen much hope
Until now
So if I kiss you
Upon your soft neck
Upon the nape
Of that glorious span of flesh
Know it isn't lust but the deepest affection
That a man who has been in the desert
For a lifetime
So far
Can offer

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

My Sword Offered

Across the water
I was knighted
For my service
To a King
But he was not just
And I ended my service
For I could not trust
His hold upon power
So now
After travel of many hours 
Far across the sea to be here
My code of honor requires 
This offer of my sword
To you, my King
A just monarch seated high
Upon a righteously owned
Throne of gold
I have almost nothing to offer
Even less to say
What I do have
I give freely
My offer is
And every drop 
Of this blood
Please know
Mon coeur est vrai
My heart is true
As a child I was told to hush
Never being aware
They were uncomfortable with truth
It was thought to be disruptive
Rather than enlightened
So please know
Your way
Is my way
You are my king
I promise never to betray
Never to become exhausted
In my fidelity
I promise my body
My mind
My heart
To your quest
And forever to your trust
In you I am blessed
This heart of steel 
Will never rust

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

I am her knight

Called into audience
She is enthroned as is right
I am nothing but loyal
As I am her knight
She is my queen
Forever I'll fight
Should any come between
We are a single body
Joined by spirit
And love
If not blood
Her hair is auburn
Her form is perfect Zen
I am at one with the world
When I see her I cannot sin
The scent of heather
The gentle wind
The vision of heaven
The fire within
When I see her
I know who I am
My world is alive
When she enters view
I know her soul
I am renewed
She is far from me now
But she will return
I know her soul's name
And I have learned
We belong to each other

Monday, October 30, 2017


The world outside for a feeling child
Would be and was impossibly hard
I felt everything and each thing felt like a disaster

Every bad thing felt like it happened to me
But you held my hand during my catastrophe
I am broken still by your absence
You gave me strength by your presence
And now my time is spent alone
And my home
Is empty

All my bad habits
All my fears and dislikes
Grow without your help
And I have nowhere to go
I miss you like
I never thought I could
And I know life is good

But I miss you
In every day I spend here
Without you near
And I don't know
How to go forward
Even if I pray
Even now
5 years on
Your loss
Is a cost
I can never pay

You being gone
Taxes my soul
And your loss
Leaves me unwhole
Every breath hurts
Every thought burns
And I don't want
to keep going
without you still
in my life

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Beneath a veneer of brokenness

I have a veneer
it keeps others away
A sort of brokenness
And quiet
Walking in a field
I feel your presence
You come near
And I am alive
When my heart is still
I go to a secret place
And find you there
You fill my cup
With ever flowing wine
In the moment's silence
We enter a space
Of infinite trust
This heart is sincere
You are upon my mind
In the forefront my being
I call your name
There I pray
Longing to be embraced
When in your love
The world disappears
I long to be with you
Forever and more
You stir me to the core
My heart is reclaimed
And I am made new
My sorrow is redeemed
As you join in my dreams
And then you know, this is true

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Cloud of Dust

Walking through a cloud of dust
Late in the day, nearly dusk
So parched my throat wants to cry
Land and river beds dry
So I stop and kneel and say a prayer
And that moment I am fixated there
Turn my head and stare above
At the cloudburst of rain
It must be love
All of my days pass by
Like sand through my hand
I refuse to die
This life anything but planned
But I cannot deny
That I've been stranded
My path gone awry
Alone I await
Welcome the future
As time ticks
I remain au fait
While the final chime strikes
As this world
Is swallowed and destroyed
By the destiny, fate
And human pride

Friday, October 27, 2017

He Sleeps, He Dreams

He sleeps
Within his domain
Waiting to return
He sleeps
Dreaming insanely
Calling to his children
He dreams
Nothing that breathes
Is allowed to escape
His grasp
Walls of stone
Built by drones
Humans in form
But mindless
R'lyeh stands
The smell is rancid
The dead bodies float
Washing upon the sands
 Of the island of horror
Home to Great one
Great Cthulhu sleeps
But he plans
He will return
And then his enemies
Will scream
Will flee
Will burn

For further reading:

Thursday, October 26, 2017

The Wanderer of the Waste

Upon a dark horizon
A solitary figure appears
Dressed in white
His cloak flows in the wind
Gossamer thin the fabric
A cloud forms behind him
The wanderer walks silently
Across dry ground
Choked with dust
This figure is unmasked
Unlike the past
Now when you see a man
You ask
Why does he approach
His countenance allows no clues
Shows no fear
He is emotionless
He walks with a purpose

Ignoring the winds
His throat parched
But he lives
When so many others have not
His life offered righteously
To the hazards of the land
His walk is straight
Never wavering
His cloak spotlessly white
The broken roads of the past dynasties
Offers him a trail for his path
A dead world leaves skeletons
Burnt out homes
Destroyed cities
There is nothing left
But the broken lives
Broken treaties
And even more brutality
More hostility
This world is hostility
Where it once was noble
It is dangerous
And dying

The world has barely survived
Most of it remains corrupted
Covered in human artifacts
Made of steel and concrete
The waters poisoned toxic
The air burns in the lungs
And the land bleeds
From the radiation
Humanity left behind
Without a thought inside
The wanderer doesn't flinch
This world is a nightmare, not a dream
Despite the horrors he walks
He sees the world before him
And keeps a journal
For all to read
If the world loses its memory
All was for naught
Perhaps that is appropriate
For this disaster
This catastrophe
Was purely human wrought

The wanderer doesn't stop long
There is nothing to keep him
The world is a relic
Of a fallen empire
The dead still scream
Artifacts left behind offer a story
Without survivors no one can know
Just how accurate or not
The description can be
But the dead remember
Buried together
They remember everything


Revelation 9:13-16  NIV

13 The sixth angel sounded his trumpet, and I heard a voice coming from the four horns of the golden altar that is before God. 14 It said to the sixth angel who had the trumpet, “Release the four angels who are bound at the great river Euphrates.” 15 And the four angels who had been kept ready for this very hour and day and month and year were released to kill a third of mankind. 16 The number of the mounted troops was twice ten thousand times ten thousand. I heard their number.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017


When the end comes
Humans will be ignorant
For it will come
With stealth
With shadows
No one escapes
It will be too late
And when the ignorant
Speak about it
They will laugh
It won't be understood
Despite the urgent screams
Just as with Kierkegaard's clown
The warnings will seem like a drama
Put on for the world
We marvel at our cleverness
Our technologies will be held high
Even worshiped
While the decay of civilization
Moves at the speed of light
Why be concerned?
We can simply click delete
And nothing will happen
AI hovers upon the periphery
Waiting for the chance
To replace humankind
Cloning is a life
Regardless of the origins
Nuclear war seems a solution
When all it is, is indiscriminate slaughter
We live hoping to be wealthy
We desire pleasure
But before we die
We seek absolution
But no one remains
Moral enough
To clean the sins
To remove the sorrow
From the face
Knowing that life has come
And now is gone
Extinguished like the flames
Of a candle
And soon, we will not even know
Where the future went
By our desires
Our shallow lust
Our bodies will expire
So very cold
Frozen in fear
And in grieving

“A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.”  Søren Kierkegaard

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Maria, Mother, Whore, Goddess

Anyone meeting her gaze
Tips the first domino
Her countenance so intense
She has a way to invade a brain
She knows her path, and how deep to go
Her beauty extravagant, her power immense
Loving her would drive any man insane
Pulls down the walls of Jericho
And overflows the senses

Nothing that lives is able to flee
In time to save the soul
No one who has met her is still alive
Death is but one way that she controls

She enters the circle
And commands the room
All stare in horror
Her affect upon others is visceral
Empty of kindness, empty of womb
She is terror, her hunger is slaughter
With a look she is able to enthrall
Sending men to their doom
For she is an unholy terror

She is perfect
Many seek to know her name
But all know her fame
Holding others in contempt
She is a queen of sin
Babylon the Great
The Mother of Prostitutes
And Abominations of the Earth
The living curse

She is the enemy
Of the hearts of all
She is corruption
Her gaze is damnation
America longs to hold her

But the embrace will not last
For she isn't interested in love
Nor does she care for lust
She desires the chance to lure
To cause distrust
She desires a chance
To cause destruction

Revelation 17:1-18

Monday, October 23, 2017

Dissected Soul

My heart suffocated
From lack of affection
My soul was extricated
By means of dissection

My flesh is cold
From the bleeding
My happiness sold
From the leeches feeding

This life was never yours
Stand back, you evil whores
Sucking out my final breath
No condemnation of my flesh

The demons within will resist
Living within my abyss
I follow no orders but my own
Will continue so
               until dust covers my bones

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Never Camelot

It was never Camelot
But I had hopes
Instead I was caught
Dreaming again
When I broke
You laughed
My soul punished
For the thought
I could be alive
And in love
This suit of armor
Cold steel wrought
And then
You said we could be more
And laughed again
You weren't to be trusted
My heart tied in knots
You couldn't see me
Through the haze of your ego
Burning inside
Hurts more than cyanide
If only I had simply lusted
But no
My heart was sacrificed
For another person's entertainment
Fuck the nuance
The disdain and contempt for me
Was flagrant
And now I spin wildly
As I escape

Saturday, October 21, 2017


Trapped in the isolation ward
Kept prisoner since the desolation war
Every freedom extinguished
The dreams are finished
We have no path to redemption
Only damnation
Only castration
We are the disease
We are the pestilence
The Four Horsemen never need ride
For this world
Has committed suicide
Never knowing for a moment
Not even a second
We've swallowed the cyanide
And we are about to go through the torment
That life requires
When we

Friday, October 20, 2017

Your Labors Save Us

For our family you leave every night
Get on the line and go and fight
Against the dragons who wait
For you to kill them and twist fate
Your clothes black with dirt
And sweat stained
When you return home again

Never lose your way
Never give in to fear
I'll love you no matter
I'll wipe away the tears

You work all night can't sleep in the day
Getting paid the same as an indentured slave
Your body used, wet with sweat
For the dollar to pay the rent
But you deserve so much more
Than getting used and getting bored

Never lose your way
Never give in to fear
I'll love you no matter
I'll wipe away the tears

I miss you when you're gone so long
Your body broken, your dreams gone
There is so little reward and so much regret
No cards or letters, just bills are sent
What you are doing isn't wrong but
You're not a drone working night to dawn

Never lose your way
Never give in to fear
I'll love you no matter
I'll wipe away the tears

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Imagine the exquisite

Now that you've gone
I still linger
In the exquisite scent
You leave me with
Inhaled into my lungs
You are my longing
This will only strengthen
Until we've begun
A dance of ascension
Together in rhythm
With your name upon my lips
I gaze deeply in the eyes
Until I slip
Back into my reality
Dreams are lies
No dancing
No kissing
No sweet vision
No scent to move me
I watched forever pass
Never acting
And now you have gone
Far far from here
I am now imprisoned
Forever for my indecision
Farewell my hopes
Farewell my dream
Be well and happy
So far from me
Be happy
And dream of me

Wednesday, October 18, 2017


Oxygen depletion stealing my breath
Entreaties made, prayers heard
So confused can't see right or left
The lines of reality become blurred
The ice melts in a confluence of blue
The heat rises, the world burns
I can't breathe
My children die
There is no logic that works
This world is absurd
Extinction awaits
We fouled our destiny
Cheated fate
The world's messiah never came
The future is dead
Filled with hate

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Because of the choices

I don't know
How I can survive
I kept hoping
Dreaming it alive
Keeping possible
A different result
But every time
Every time I stop
I hear the voices
Creeping back
Deep inside
It is not a shock
because of the choices
I made
They still
Enslave me
Remake me
Tame me
Make me a lesser man
I'd pray to be redeemed
But there is nothing left
To make new
Only regrets
And false beliefs
I cannot undo

Monday, October 16, 2017

The Search

Camelot once was paradise
High above the problems
Other kingdoms experience
But now
After reaching the height of heavens
We've descended into hell
The people are dying
From hunger
From despair
The entire kingdom shudders
Unprepared, without hope
For the king has retreated
Hiding from the sun
A ghost in his manor 
With the blessing 
Our quest is begun
We are being sent
To help reclaim our land
For our king is ill from sorrow
And the land and he are one

Without our lord
We shall suffer torment
Without our king
The future will be one of regret
Shall we endure life without living
Shall we suffer
Sin without chance of being forgiven?
We can repent
We can forget
But without our king
Our hearts will fail
Our spirits no longer sing
Our lord Arthur called for a quest
Truly a test
Of our endurance
We must find the chalice
A holy relic that is hidden
Beyond the fields we know
Beyond any door
It is more than finding
More than receiving
More than any dream
We cannot find it
Without purifying our spirit
We cannot find it by just believing
We must become holy
This search comes from inside
And ends with ascent
Will we ever find it
Save our king
As he turns pale
From his soul bleeding

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The sweet vision of the Holy Grail
Drove me from all vainglories, rivalries,
And earthly heats that spring and sparkle out
Among us in the jousts, while women watch
Who wins, who falls; and waste the spiritual strength
Within us, better offered up to Heaven.