To Hear A Call

I'd prayed to be renewed, restored to a state of being
Where I could've understood the power of the throne
Let me trust in your provenance, that you are my king
So I might then believe from my heart down to my bones
You are everything, perfect, and in my deep I hear your call
God rescue me from the doubt, let me know what love is about
The thunder inside my heart, strikes like lightning upon the horizon

Her Protector

So beautiful, with black fur, golden eyes
She loved only me and trusted only me
She distrusted all others, to prior abuse
Slept solidly, not moving under my arm
Constantly purring, she seemed content
Knowing she'd be safe from any harm
I believe she trusted I was her protector
And now I miss her more than anything
for Simone

Alex Ness© 2023

 

Trapped

What if there is nothing but pain and fear
If my flesh fades, and I'm found transfixing
Stare into the sun, and I'm bleeding tears
My soul disappears, my memories drifting
If the mirror cracks, my reflection isn't clear
I'm full of hubris, ignorant, I won't hear the call
If I'm trapped in the miry clay, will you lift me
Will you free me, releasing me from my fear
I'm unforgiven, drowning in an ocean of tears
God please let me be forgiven, before I fall
Before I die, and I lose it all

Psalm 40

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.

The Harvest

As science goes forward, our flesh becomes the test subjects
Drugs used to hyper mediate, hyper intoxicate, and regulate
Cloning leads to an artificial human, born to serve a purpose
Sperm and egg in coitus are no longer needed to create life
However much we believe it is life, the life created isn't new
Petri dishes with artificial DNA, leading to soul less beings
A churning of biological remnants, residue a form of stew
The world that beckons suggests we'll harvest their organs
Life's no longer sacred, all our actions will invite doom

Offerings to Technological Gods

Even as the photograph was cutting edge technology
Few perceived the next step having moving pictures
If our voices and musical recording onto discs began
The telephone and telegraph came quickly after that
Radio made the world smaller, linking all listening
Computers slowly changed everything, again
First in war and accounting, then all our beings
With internet the world would never be the same
For both good and ill, we can't change our ways
The path before keeps going in new directions
Values decay, civilization can't control the change
Those they linger too long in the past are lost
Others are offered up to the technological gods
And very few enjoy the benefits of the new faith
While we know the next advancement is coming

 We know that we cannot control the next revolution

“Before you become too entranced with gorgeous gadgets and
mesmerizing video displays, let me remind you that information
is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, and wisdom is not
foresight. Each grows out of the other, and we need them all.”
        
                                                                           Arthur C. Clarke

Being wanted

What does it mean, to just be wanted
Why do I need to be someone's desire
Will I find love, even more than the lust
I've been empty, walk around haunted
Why do I care, life is a dumpster fire
If I've never found someone I can trust
It doesn't matter if my life is at an end
If all I wanted, needed or cannot have
Is to be withheld from me, with laughter
My dreams are nothing, I so don't matter

(Not autobiographical, I love my wife.)

Dreaming

In the casual mention of dreams and presence of nightmares
Enter the realm, comes the sandman, enter master of despair
If consumed by my fears, my mind will yet wander the sky
As this world bleeds into dreamscape, I'll somehow survive
Since I'm condemned for my dreams, I'll now confess freely
I'll endure, I will fly, my dreams will still be able to heal me
In the rhythm of life are cycles and phases of power, energy
Giving me a reason to exist, give me a reason to believe

Bones Burning in the Abyss

Thrown down, my esteem is swirling into the void
My bones will be burning in the abyss, a nightmare
Here is an emptiness, pulls at the edges of my sanity
I'll scream into silence and then wait to be destroyed
My cloak of flesh and fabric of reality are ripping
I cannot flee, all paths lead into unknown, nowhere
Is there any comfort or hope, for I have only agony
My body heaves in exhaustion and I hear footsteps
Soon I see the first pursuers from the faceless horde
Can't scream, frozen in fear, this portent of oblivion
Life will soon be over, I've no choice but go forward
The broken world might endure, but I cannot, so I run
I screamed into silence, I'm made cold from the quiet
The world will come to an end, my fears overcome
There is light at the end of the tunnel, shining
I pull back the veil, revealing all that waits for me

In Babylon

Through existence we've watched, waited, forewarned
Waiting upon red skies, blackened earth, then screams
For when life won't matter, in view of a coming storm
Sleepwalking through life, living as if in a dream
Reality as nightmare, morality shredded at the core
We've nothing left, feet planted firmly in Babylon
For we have become lost, and can never be restored
In a fecund, foul city of excess, led by god Mammon
Smiling, taking our offerings of gold and treasure
As we live for pleasures of the flesh and leisure

Escaping the Darkness

In that haunting beauty of the moment of awareness
Bitter losses that grieve our past, no longer menace
So how do we know, how do we maintain our place
Lost in the confusion, with the ghosts we will chase
The pits of the abyss never beckon without consent
We invite pain and the nightmares that never relent
It is time we rise, and choose a new path

ghosts in the trees

These ghosts wait in the trees to whisper to us
To plant doubts, lead us to despair and oblivion
Every life is surrounded by those who haunt
Recalling the sins against us and want justice
The shade is darkness in the form of obsidian
We hunger, fearful of getting what we want
Unaware that we are the only ones to blame
Should we not get enough, of trust or of love
The ghosts in the trees know us all by name
They linger, knowing no one gets enough
All our dreams vapid, all our lives dust

A Winter Queen

Born regal, a full pure blooded noble, powerful and wise
A winter queen, she'd slept upon a snow covered throne
In her castle, built by the giants and kin of the mountain
To reign from on high, from that planet's frozen heights
With an ability to turn a once living foe into dry bone
Surrounding castle walls sentries, on foot and mounted
Steel, horses, swords were nothing compared to her ire
She was more powerful than all of the forces of humans
More powerful than the mighty danger found in nature
Beautiful but even more dangerous with a spirit of fire
Retaining yet her humility, and respect for her creator
Yes, she was a ruler queen, but truly, something more
She was her people's fair leader and greatest protector

Doomed Future?

When before a myriad of flaws inside the mirror
I'd opened my eyes and did not like the reflection
My life a blur, as my flesh burned before the seer
Prophets and mystics lost in the emptiness within
The world looks for one to hate, so bent, a horror
I'll give in, the life I have is not worth defending
The world looks upon me, with a cruel fascination
Drowning, that look upon my face of pure terror
Doomed, my future is punishments unending
And with a pain that beckons unrelenting
I'm breaking, again and again and again

My ignoble pursuit

I've been told I must seek perfection, in morality and flesh
It can never be so, in my world or any other, I'm flawed
My task is to do what has never been done in modernity
Over time, any found perfect of anything are taken away
Beginning to end, we all fail, constantly, birth to death
If I were perfect of anything, I'd stop feeling awe
Lose more than life in losing awe, to not seek eternity
Such ignoble pursuits, seeking perfection, I'd fail to see
Losing everything that gives meaning, will be my fall
If offered a shiny perfect body, a heart that is empty
I'd choose my mistakes, suffer more broken flesh
In my imperfection I am made complete
How I long to know the kiss of eternity
Where I see the truth of all
Even to rise from defeat

The Whisper was true

I heard you whisper it but I couldn't believe it
I'd spent my life without words, without a tone
I'll not linger in echoes of all that'll never be
Of a friendship's regrets found deep within
All the trials, inside, outside or even far gone
I've spent decades with a love unreturned
Able to say it, nude to the world, unredeemed
I am unashamed and wait in the dusk, dark
Early evening shadow cannot hide fire in me

I am ready, let me burn

Darkness trying to speak

My voice cracks, louder even my words all break
My life was lived despite my life being a mistake
Forsaken for having ideas, ignored, told be quiet
My time was spent in darkness, the world silent
To be or not to be, one question without answer
No one knows how it feels being a stain, a cancer
This life was spent, a mistaken, forsaken stain
Whatever I do, the knowledge remains

It is Time We Care

If we waver to find our compassion
And if we fail to find the empathy
Will our children be any different
It is one sign of humanity to care
To live we must find our passion
As we're now numbed by entropy
Our selfishness became relentless
In this world to be kind is daring
It's now time we change our path
Our children will learn to be kind
So that we might save others
From existence's dark wrath

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is
fighting a difficult battle.”    Plato

Megaliths

They amaze us, we're spellbound, what could our ancestors have meant
Megalithic structures mark a moment and messages from the past sent
And just as a message travels through space taking time to be received
Structures do have information for the present, but took time to be seen
Are they built to tell a future generation, we've sought and found truth
Here long before you, we've sought all the things you now feel are new
Monuments to knowledge, to goals sought, do they exist simply to be
Do they tell a story, are they mysteries to mentally inspire our beings?

Different Dreams

The dreams I have never feature air flight or romance
They don't allow my escape or different circumstance
My dreams allow me to be released, into an emptiness
My dreams don't give me hope, romance or relevance
They offer me just one thing, finality
And, at last, solace

"Destruction is finite, obstruction is infinite: so long as rebellion takes the
form of mere disorder (instead of an attempt to enforce a new order) there
is no logical end to it; it can feed on itself and renew itself forever.”           
                                                                                                GK Chesterton

The Gray Artist Palette

In a world without color, no purpose, nor any meaning
Preference never mattered, I suffer from indistinct pangs
Of faith lost in the haze of a composite gray, screaming
The world consumes, devours the weak, bearing fangs
If I exist without a reason but still exist, is life real?
If I die when dreaming, is this worthwhile, is it surreal
The world will burn, as all efforts go without reward
Our suffering forever goes unnoticed and silenced
Our sacrificed life an offering, unaccepted, scorned
A gift that comes without thanks, unadored