Welcome


I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.


Je ne regrette pas la douleur, il a m'a rendu plus fort.


Thursday, May 21, 2015

Questions

We will experience three great events
All of us
Who exist here
Birth, Life, and Death
In existence upon this planet
I've decided to ask questions
Do I exist only to pass from view
Or is my being transcendent
Am I a flesh being with a soul
Or am I a soul, wrapped in flesh
I know I am not an angel 
I am not from heaven because I fail
I do that many times in this life
It is called sin, and I do it a great deal
Je ne parviennent pas à tout
But beyond the number and ways
I do ask for forgiveness
I do repent and try to improve
Still, 
Was I sent here to live 
Or to experience pain, suffer and die?
Because so far, it has not been so good
I am not complaining
I realize others have it worse
But for all my troubles
All the things I do
All my misery
It often feels
Like I have been cursed
And if I have
I'd like to know
So that I do not cause
Others to suffer



Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Death and that Paradox














Although you've fled
Your spirit is gone
Your body remains
And to us you seem
To still be here
We still long
For your presence
We are selfish
We can never acquiesce
To the truth
That your life is done
There is a strange game
A paradox
Where even if you are now
In a far better place
We bitterly mourn
Because we are now alone
Without you











Is it because you are gone
Or we are not gone instead
We are the ones left behind
You outrageously are dead
You've fled
To someplace far away
We can't reach you
That is clear
We are hurt inside
And cannot choose
Selfishly
To keep you with us
Because we want you here
So pardon us
For being the ones
Who are left
Behind
To cry



Monday, May 18, 2015

Raise the Banner






















To be a hero
Doesn't require muscles
Doesn't require danger
It only requires honor
And courage
And loving
Your neighbor
This world
Our nation
Crumbles
With every second
We ignore
The broken
The hurt
The wounded
So gaze
Into the eyes
Of a society
Built on lies
If we believe
Then we must
If we love
We must trust
We must carry
We must bring
Water to the thirsty
Hope to the hopeless
Voice to the voiceless
Choice to the choiceless
It is all we have to do
To bring the world to you
If one is wronged
We all are wronged
If one is cheated
We all are so
So then
We shall fight
The wrongs in this world
Together
Lift the banner
Above the burning clouds
Forever
And march into the fire
Carrying the burden
Of society's burning ire
It is time
Now or never
Live what we know
Or die silently
Damning all of them
To a permanent funeral
By our hand
By our refusal
It is time
To be
Who we are




Friday, May 15, 2015

Final Goodbye

Even in exile
I still prayed for you
Bones and flesh inside
Shaking in pain
It took the entire
Of my life
The solitude
Could be a bitter river
Of tears
But I still tried
You never saw him
You only wished to know
You had an inkling
But that was all
And yet
I was broken
And you made me walk
I was poor and you charged me
The other would not work
And you gave him my money
You didn't know me
Didn't want to
And if I miss you
It isn't from what you left behind
It was from
All I was missing inside
From the solitude
And exile
I survived
I prayed for you
And never heard
Until the last time
You spoke to me
But now I have mine
To still love
And give every moment
Every ounce
Every thought
Every deed
To him
Because you
Didn't give it to me
The chain was broken
But it began again
The ravens left the tower
But as soon as morning broke
They returned at the break
Of the dawn's earliest hour
You chose my solitude
And I am trying
To understand
But you died
Before we could
Figure each other out
So I am still
Left with the doubts
Ever child has
Without the time
Without the care
Without the hugs
When they aren't told
They are worth
Being loved

For the person who this is written to, who spent my life doing his best, but failing me until he helped my wife and I have our child.  And for my son, Jonathan, because he is my world.  And for my wife who gave my son.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

This Long Journey

I've known
You were there
Conception to death
I have been aware
Of your presence
I cannot walk upon water
Following you
I have mal de mer
But I have kept walking
Intercession from my flesh
I offer unto your ear
I hope to escape
This abscess, this absence
I offer a prayer
Thus far unspoken
God I have walked
Until my feet have no skin
Until my being loses motion
But I refuse to allow sin
To keep me from you
But I am surely broken
I am close though
I can feel your touch
Soft upon my brow
And your whisper
Quiet upon my heart
I am near the end
Of this long journey
And only because
You have been with me
Have I endured


Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Absurdity in my heart

Being with you was so torturous to my soul
Although I loved you and gave you control
My dreams will always grieve for you
My dreams will always long for the truth
That you are the one I desire
You bring my heart its fire



Every moment without you I sorrow
Every day without you I grieve
You are the one I desire
You are the source of my soul's fire
You are why I believe
I am prepared, qui vive, for you

You told me that You loved me
Then you said that you were leaving
You told me that I was the one you love
But that you couldn't stop the bleeding
I am left behind without even a word
That can help me understand
Why or how or, ... this is so absurd






Saturday, May 9, 2015

I Dream, I Seek, Because She is There

https://www.flickr.com/photos/16230215@N08/
Because of who she is
I seek her
Wherever she roams
Whether it is in the waking
Or the dreaming
For now she is in
The dreaming realm flying
Upon a winged steed

Or being worshiped
As the goddess she is
She flits about in forests
And dances upon
Ballroom floors of castles
Her merciful glory is what others seek



   In that realm of sleep
The beings who dwell there
So magical and amazing
They are fantastical
But already they acknowledge her
As being far greater
Than they are
Despite all of their celestial origins
She is their magnificent queen
Beautiful yes but more
She is their star
They orbit about her
Following and desiring to serve
She is the center of existence



I am not worthy 
But of course
I am moved
Whatever realm I am in
I seek her there
Because I long for her
And desire her
And wish to be
Fulfilled
She is a river
Of the purest water
And I am thirst
She is sleep 
And I am exhaustion
How I long for her






Friday, May 8, 2015

Like Clockwork

When the steady rain falls I experience comfort
My mind purrs, and the white noise is welcome
My maker created nature
Now nature is my redeemer and provides succor
And I am able to draw strength from it


I know nothing is without purpose, and place
I accept that I am part of the system, the machine
And I recognize how small I am, and easy to replace
Who am I? within the gears of this clockwork
I do not know,  I only know my name


My DNA is neither special, nor extraordinary
The world is made of meat, clay, and wind
Someday when I die I will become dust
And my shell will slowly be spread by the breeze
Why am I here?  Only to learn, to become, to be



Upon my death, and my becoming dust
I will drift, and land in every corner of the earth
Without prejudice float across the land
It doesn't matter any more then, where
I belong to two different realms
This one
And the other of my maker

Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Kin in the Valley

 Part 1

Above the valley a green canopy, a covering of sorts
Below, a living world, a graceful land with foliage
Seemingly untouched by humans, or their kin, it was thick
Buzzing with life, within that land were a folk who thrived
This magnificent paradise, glorious and beautiful,
Without compare it was hidden from view, and alive
Everything there was new, uncorrupted
Nothing there decayed, nothing turned to rot
It was a joyful place where artisans, musicians, would seek
A legacy wrought
There, the kin had lived more than 30 generations
The language spoken by the folk was nuanced, unique
Separated from other human folk
They still pursued higher thought
The surrounding wildlife and foliage and folk
Formed a certain symbiotic bond
If not disturbed, the symbiotic link
Would never stop
And the kin would live in a world
Where the generations would follow
The same traditions
With the same joy
Without end


Monday, May 4, 2015

An Irish Warrior Queen

Her lineage was noble
From a family of leaders
She knew her kin was different
But she was curious, kind
And she crept into my heart
But I didn't realize
She was dangerous, even wild
She was neither tamed nor soft
But then she walked into my heart
And I had to have her at any cost
Flame red hair could not match
The fire inside passion of her ire
Her anger when stoked in battle
Her love when struck was fire
Her mind was bright and powerful
Her heart beat the warrior's drums
She wore a Queen's demeanor
And walked as if she owned a kingdom
From the first
I knew, I was unworthy of her
She became woven in my soul
And my heart had no defense
As she took complete control
  
ROMANS-12:9  
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."

Whenever I write poems about love and how I love my wife, people say how lucky I am.  But while I might be, I write about what I hope, regarding my beloved.  I try to follow the verse I mention above, because, why believe the worst in people?  You move further in life hoping and believing in people than assuming bad things.  My wife is great, she is a warrior, an Irish Scots Canadian who gave me my son.  She has red hair, and was my best friend before she was the person who my heart realized was my future bride.  Not much about marriage is easy, but after 27 years (June 11, 1988) I hope we've had enough lessons in love to draw from to know how to go forward. 


Sunday, May 3, 2015

A commentary upon life

Floating in the depths of space
Without aim or propulsion
My life
A vacuum of disgrace
With no intentions or plans
Life has been a disaster
Existence was a bitter taste
Left from false hopes and shame
Yes, existence left me shattered
Convinced that nothing mattered
I begged God to let me die:
To erase every last trace
Of my being
Because I am nothing
And never will be




Saturday, May 2, 2015

Joining Danse, Mom Dancing in Heaven



I endured
My self inflicted torture
A peculiar torment
To my shame
Instead of living
I spent my life dreading the moment
When you would pass from this place
And in the end
I was not ready
And I could not have imagined the pain
Nothing could have prepared me
For the grieving
For the guilt of being
Left behind
Without you














 
Loving you
Not having you here
My heart is breaking
To this day
Every day
Nothing relieves me
Not even the belief
That redeems me
And now
My memory
Creates a ghost of you
And I am ever
Lingering
In the echo
Of your being
In my existence















My heart is stubborn
Sorrow filled
I've not yet accepted
Your passing
But God doesn't require
My acquiescence to his will
But I am in a place still
Where I neither live
Nor die
My will is stubborn
Cannot accept
Because I am
Missing the person
Who was my life
For so long