Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Hated and Damned

Surrounded by the brokenness
The saints destroyed by the shame
Joining the fallen angels
and fallen dreams

Our foes face us emotionless
As our fears become inflamed
Cannot help but to step into the stream

The flowing Styx courses
The current ripping away our hold
Our destination Tartarus
Our flesh not burning, but cold

Why do we not change
Why are we seemingly condemned
To do the same thing, over and again
Damned by our descent

We are not fools
We are aware of our demise
Our fate shall be cruel
Our choices leave us despised




Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Continent Wide I've walked


At some point in time
It becomes obvious
This was the time
This was the hour
We served the greatest empire
And we are Roman
Like my father and his father before him
As my brothers and my village's young males
Serving is a privilege, not a duty
Rome existed and spanned the horizon
So great in distance, so great in power
Infantry wore down their sandals
And cavalry horses their shoes
The path was unpaved
The journey was dangerous
We were not promised safety
Rather, glory, and reward
We served the Empire
We sought to make it strong
We fought, explored and conquered
From shore to shore
From Caledonia and Britannia
To the boundaries of Partha
Every day a Roman dawn
Our path crossed the empire
And at its height
We were invincible
Constant war made our skills sharp
No other empire dared challenge
No, it wasn't another empire
It was those who formed tribes
And chose to fight
For their own people
Barbarians
And as we sharpened our skills
In battle
They sharpened their desire
To destroy us
I am now a sacred spirit
Who watches
As the world forgets
The greatness
That was Rome



FOR FURTHER READING


 FOR RESEARCH AND WAR GAMES


"It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience." Julius Caesar

Monday, November 20, 2017

I am a failed, flawed man, but...

The demons call my name
Knowing my eternal shame
I live with the knowledge
Others would die to avoid
I am broken
I am fallen
I am hated
And deserve to be damned
But I am not my failures
I am not my flaws
Waiting for the final blow
Yes I am make that stand
Still I know
I am eternal
And I know the one
Who created me
All I am
All I will ever be
I speak for the fallen
I bleed for the broken
I am hated for the hated
And I stand with the damned
But I am
And all I ever will be
Child of the one
Who created me


Sunday, November 19, 2017

It ain't beautiful, special, fabulous or real
















If you take pride in your personal beauty
If you think your race is special
If you love the car you bought
Or giant screen television
You are a fool truly
Your race is common, not precious
Your car is less special
Than the metal with which it is wrought
Your values leave you imprisoned
For you are worshiping the created
And not the creator
And like a sole star
In the black of your soul
Your idolatry burns bright
All that you hoped for
And patiently waited
Those precious fruits
Of your labor
Will never bring you joy
Ignore the creator
Uplift the creation
Leaves you only decay
And torment
Hell's caress
As you burn
With envy
Hate
And pride
In things
That are
Meaningless








Saturday, November 18, 2017

Left With Everything, And Nothing

Watching the ocean tide
The pulse and rhythm
I watch knowing
You'll leave
Come back
And leave again
So there you go
I wave goodbye
Best wishes, I won't cry
My flesh crawls with the memory
Of trying to win your love
Because it was never there
Never fair
You had a choice
I never got to choose
And I was the one
Who provided the time
The love
The wine
I was the one
Still there
Left behind
When there was nothing
So nothing left to lose
But everything


Thursday, November 16, 2017

Nowhere to run

Every time I remember
The scent in the air
Left by your walking near
The year long December
Cold and unfair
When you were here

Taking everything I had
Wanting more
Taking that too
And I surrendered
To your needs

Every time I see the darkness
Smothering every light
A Cloak of evil upon you
I was fallen and my hands were artless
I knew you wanted a final fight
But you refused to hear the truth

You took everything
You screamed for more
You broke into my dreams
Slaughtered me there
And left my corpse upon the floor

What is left
Of my heart's hope
I was cursed not blessed
I was crushed
Looking at the approaching crash
Of this precious globe

I can't sleep at night
I have nothing to dream
I have nowhere to run
Not even in my sleep

You are no longer human
I know you will devour me

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

winds full of wind

Listen
I know, I know
I can't hold you back
Let alone hold you at all
Your gaze into danger
Without fear
Or motive
Just desire and hope
You are the kind of person
I'd love to have loved
You are person
I'd love to have been the one
Without rancor show
The depths of my soul
Because with you holding
My hand, I'd be whole
And I'd feel the mercy
Pour down
And I'd find a way
To be redeemed



Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Beneath the Dog Star


None can deny its beauty
Nor can any not hear its hum
Powerful and evoking greatness
Brightest star of the heavens
Sign of the beginning of the flood
Bringer of the hottest days
Boiler of Achilles blood
Star of imaginations
Light of the evening dark
Marker of passing generations
Watching as humanity is undone
And civilization after civilization
Passing and birthing anew
Dog Star is growing brighter
While all other stars dim
And time has no effect
Nor does aging upon it show
Empires fade, nations die
As the anthems of heaven's choirs
Sing for the star eternal
And none can match the glow

Monday, November 13, 2017

Battle

Have I not bled for you?
Have I not fought for your name?
Have I not given everything?
Have I not walked through flames?
I have done all of this
And more
I do not bear your shame
I am a warrior
A gladiator
And I refuse to be tamed
I have bled for you
I have fought in your name
I have given everything
And I bear no shame


You are my master
I've lived for you
You are my commander
There is nothing that exists
That I would choose
But you
My lord
I might wallow in sorrow
From the pain
But for you my lord
I persist

Sunday, November 12, 2017

REFUSE TO GRIEVE

Fight the voices despite the toll
Don't submit to the grieving
While the cost is great
We must refuse to regret choices
For it was destiny
Not fate
We own our lives
Not the circumstances
There will be times we have no chance
Do not accept guilt
For choosing what was forced upon us
Do not accept questions about justice
Sometimes there is no escape
I refuse to forget that my life is my own
Even when wounded
I cannot be responsible for the acts of others
So I will not mourn
When the darkness smothers hope


Saturday, November 11, 2017

Missing

Your kiss I still taste
Memory of your embrace
Still haunts me
I wish to chase your body
And touch you
Beneath my fingers
Your skin so soft,
Softer than velvet and down
The time together I miss
Your face
Your form
Your scent lingers
Upon my tongue
But you are
Nowhere near
And I have been fading
Since you left
Without anyone
To replace the void
That remains
In your absence
Darkness smothers
Your voice echoes
In memory
Again
and
Again


Friday, November 10, 2017

grind the gears of culture

The grinding gears of conformity
May well crush the forces of self
But until it kills me
I will fight it as long as I am alive
That is the guarantee
Every ounce of I am
Artfully
Resists
Grind gears
Grind away
I refuse to surrender
So long as I have breath
I will exist
And when I am done
You will remember me
For my death
I am a body
You are cancer
I refuse to be
Who you declare
I am one
You are not my master
I am one
Not one of many
I am made of flesh
Within I possess a will
I will gladly march to oblivion
But you will not be
My commander



Thursday, November 9, 2017

Stopping the Flood

Humans live as if they believe
Their flesh is eternal
Ignoring the concept of death
For themselves
An abject sort of vanity
Allowing their minds to be pacified
While the world is in stasis
But in the back waters of the planet
The oceans rise and spill
The dark stank waters sit
Waiting for the break
A breech in the wall
So that order can be consumed
By Barbarity
For millennia the flood waters have risen
And so few saw the oncoming wave
The Greeks saw it, and fought it
The Romans saw it, and were overcome
Every empire
Every nation
Sees the flood
Of coming damnation
No messiah to save them
No order left behind
Once the flood strikes
Civilization dies
And come mass insanity
Those who survive
Will light a torch to the world
Burning all that remains
Soon, all is wiped out
The Deluge reigns
Only bestial remnants of humanity
Exist still to say We were here

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Like Jacob who wrestled an angel

And now
Even chained
I cannot be tamed
Woe them who try
I had to wrestle free
My spirit
Simply to be born
Then had to fight a demon
Who was sent to destroy
All I was and could ever be
But I was born
From a woman
Who herself was born wild
She had a soul
Fully brave
Raised in battle
Purified by fire
She ran the gauntlet
And shared that heart
With her child
Despite my being torn
From her arms
By circumstance
And I was cast
Into the wilderness
Untamed I only knew how to resist
I sought only to fight
And never tire
I longed to capture and slay
Each and all of my prey
Who walk the path
Who choose to defy the law
Who seek to harm my kin
Who invites my wrath
And now though chained
My heart is ever free
And they will quake
When I am released
For they have sold themselves
By their own hands
To me


Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Unleashed power

Despite the journey
I still believe
Nothing could stop me
Not temptation
Nor spiritual starvation
Nor any hunger
This desert has been vast
But I have heard a voice
Calling me, guiding me
Through the darkness
The black clouds
Fall the Rain
Now come the lightning
Unleash the thunder
With no fear of damnation
The majesty of the storm
Run through my life
Let similarly fall
His reign
The power of the lord
The great salvation
He calls me to him
My eyes never close
Watching creation
My flesh trembles
Not in fear
But for the wonder
Of the power
Unleashed


Monday, November 6, 2017

RAMESSES, Lion of Kadesh

The sting of a scorpion
Attacking from behind
Is especially painful
Feeling dirty, unethical
This was treachery and to many minds
Kadesh would be made to pay
An outlying province
It had changed paths
Formerly loyal even passive
A distant client state of the Egyptian Empire
Of Ramesses
Later called Lion of Kadesh

They were not truly rebellious
Whatever Ramesses' opinion
Kadesh had left
And did not desire independence from,
Nor to commune with, Egypt
This was something called reabsorption
Returning to the Hittite empire
A long time Egyptian foe

Kadesh was at the distant reach of Egypt
Some leaders there, therefore
Might have not feared
The coming military blow
Perhaps thought themselves safe
But while being seen as being rebels
Would be dangerous for any province
Being seen as treasonous, traitorous
Would lead to a far different fate

King Ramesses
Reached for his great bow
Called for his chariot driver
And notified his officers
It was time for his army to march
They would share a welcome
To any who rebelled
From the newly tightening orbit
Of his power

For Kadesh, now was the hour
Of destiny
It was a fortified city
On the border between two empires
It was used to being used
And the time had come to decide
Who will rule it, and would it even survive

The journey to Kadesh was very long
With an army for the day that was massive
Separated into four cadres, each of 5000 men
They marched behind the elite of Egypt
A chariot force led by King Ramesses
Such a force kicked up a great cloud of sand

Walking through a desert with thousands
It is impossible to hide your men
The King's chariot force arrived first
Egyptians gathered before the walls of Kadesh
His infantry still marched far behind

A force 2000 chariots
Lay in wait, a hidden army from Kadesh
Ambushed the unready Egyptian forces
The chariots cut straight through the infantry
The surprise leading to a massive slaughter
Egypt's army was bleeding
And confusion reigned
Ramesses's remaining forces still had not arrived
Another Kadesh ambush would win the day

Someone in Pharaoh's camp saw a wall of dust
Heard a rising cry and the din of the conflict
From the battle site
And with a shout of urgency
Ramesses gathered his chariot forces
The elite of his great army
He took many extra quivers
Knowing he'd need every single arrow
And entered battle quickly

Like a lion Ramesses struck
His agile form rising high above the field of battle
Loosing arrow after arrow with his great bow
Into the chests
Piercing the hearts of the enemy chariot crews
Ramesses never relentedNever allowed the foe
A chance to respond

With bladed great wheels of his chariot
His driver, the best in the land
Sliced through the survivors of the ambush force
Ramesses and his elite chariot force
Turned the tide with great slaughter
And by his hand, the desert sands turned red

All of the cadres of the Egyptian forces assembled
Ramesses had stopped a flood, almost single handedly
The Kadesh forces retreated back into their walled city
The surviving attackers prepared to be destroyed
But again, just as some didn't expect Egypt to march
King Ramesses acted against common wisdom
Refused to fully launch his army

Instead, he had his force wait, and marching
Skirmish aggressively outside the walls of Kadesh
Soon enough there were entreaties
The Kadesh leader and Ramesses met and spoke
They promised to exchange daughters
And sons for marriage
To restore the relationship
And perhaps restore their place
In the eternal empire
Of Egypt



The name Ozymandias from a transliteration of Ancient Egyptian into Greek.  It comes from a part of Ramesses' throne name, Usermaatre Setepenre, "The justice of Rê is powerful—chosen of Rê".

"Ozymandias"
Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert... near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:

And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.




Sunday, November 5, 2017

I served my lord, and he redeemed my faith
















I have journeyed my entire life
Following the righteous way
I long to be finished
However, the end will be the grave
My path has become wearisome
My faith has become besieged
I have paid for my path, with my soul
But the demons have been unleashed

This is a quest without end
But not a life without reason
I have fought only with honor
Have never been accused of treason
My king's castle is great
In his keep there are many rooms
There I long to be allowed to sleep
Instead of being entombed

My soul by now is battle worn
But my beliefs have never paled
I seek only to serve my lord
To be of some avail
My chainmail is brown with rust
The rains mix with my salty tears
My eyes have seen the end
And my service has been years

Oh Lord I am your servant
I am weak where you are strong
I have walked without end
Until my flesh has gone
Please be kind
I do not deserve your grace
But I seek your mercy
And your full embrace

John 14:1,2,3

1Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. 2In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am.…

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Why

Why?
Why did you leave?
Why didn't you say goodbye?
What did I do?
Did I make you cry?
How can I change your mind?
Or do I know
Better
You got what you wanted
And took the shards
Of my broken heart
And threw them
In the ocean
Never to return
To see if I survived
I know you never wanted to be mine
You just wanted to be wanted
I know I am not wrong
I should have learned
I see clearly
But my chest hurts
Where my heart belongs
A smoking empty cavity
And I am fool
Because knowing it all
I'd still welcome you back
After you've gone
I am such a fool
If I were young
It'd make some sense
But why bother?  Why?
I am old
And it makes no difference
I might as well go
Watch some shitty movies
Drink some beer
And cry
And blame someone
Other than me
For what happened here

Friday, November 3, 2017

Fools

We spend billions searching
To find intelligence in the outside universe
But every single day
We kill thinking animals
And who does that
Make the beast?
If the slaughter ever stops
Our world might recover
But the oceans run red
And the fisheries die
We live, but really are dead
Because we shit where we live
And have no idea
How truly foolish we are
We pollute the sky
Suffocated of breath
We could stop
But choose to not
And rob ourselves
Of the air for our lungs
To nourish our flesh
Humans are fools
We still have an Eden
After many millennia of abuse
We could all exist
In perfect bliss
Instead we choose
Death


Thursday, November 2, 2017

Before I give up, I need to say

When I kiss you goodnight
I close my eyes
Never knowing
What dreams might happen
I might be able to fly
Because of you
My heart dances
From the thought of seeing you again
Should you know what I mean
Please say so
I melt from your touch
Am I dreaming
I love you far too much
To stop
Please don't judge
But
You are my greatest dream
My highest hope
My burning stirring within
I miss you when you aren't here
Even for a moment
I worry and I know
I should learn to trust in good things
Happening
So
It isn't that easy
If you know where I've been
But then
You are the reason
I hope to escape
From this prison
Of myself
My life
Hasn't seen much hope
Until now
So if I kiss you
Upon your soft neck
Upon the nape
Of that glorious span of flesh
Know it isn't lust but the deepest affection
That a man who has been in the desert
For a lifetime
So far
Can offer