Wore a mask
Changed your name
Asked me in
And then
You played your game
Said you need me
Said you love me
You might deny
But you know you did
I tried to love you
I tried to help
Even when I knew
I would lose
In the end
I would lose
And you would win
Now that fucking door is closed
After you moved back in
The masquerade's end
The party fades
You changed your name
Your mask went on
Again
For another round
With another love
With another heart to break
Without the shame
Without the risk
Hide your heart for another
And invite him in to find it
Friday, May 17, 2013
Someday I will be gone
I gave my heart in this battleSoon I will be gone
Legacy
Everything was given
Everything will be lost
Before long
History
But I regret nothing
I regret not one thing
Because the cause was just
Nothing was wrong
Everything was right
Memory
Someday soon
I will be gone
However
I know the Truth
And it isn't the flesh that matters
It isn't material things
That bring me hope
They do not bring me comfort
The joy pours through knowing you
Only you
And that is my sole desire
To see you
In the end
Waiting with open arms
For me
To redeem
My legacy
My history
My memories
(Photo source/credit )
Sunday, May 12, 2013
When the Wind
When the wind stops blowing
When the sun stops burning
When my heart stops beating
When my blood turns cold
When the world stops turning
When all the oceans stop churning
When my eyes turn empty
When I flee with my soul
This earth may die
All the flesh will grow old
This world will pass from view
Still
I will never bid you adieu
I will never say goodbye
For you are my love
You are my life
You are the truth
That fills me inside
You are the one
That my heart burns for
You are the one
Who brings me alive
When the world stops living
I will still be alive
And I will always desire
To be with you more
You are my love
Alone
When the sun stops burning
When my heart stops beating
When my blood turns cold
When the world stops turning
When all the oceans stop churning
When my eyes turn empty
When I flee with my soul
This earth may die
All the flesh will grow old
This world will pass from view
Still
I will never bid you adieu
I will never say goodbye
For you are my love
You are my life
You are the truth
That fills me inside
You are the one
That my heart burns for
You are the one
Who brings me alive
When the world stops living
I will still be alive
And I will always desire
To be with you more
You are my love
Alone
Thursday, May 9, 2013
A Simple Girl named Joan
In her heart burned sorrow for her country
Her king was tested by the English
She was unable to speak what she felt
But had visions inside
They forced her to act
To be reviled as a fool
Perhaps
The visions would surface
And she would be received
By the king
Lead the armies
Break the siege
Around Orleans
A girl who dressed like a boy
Prayed like a monk
Made war like a general
Led a people to arms
Broke the siege
Around the city
Even as the English taunted
For how could a girl
Lead an army of men in war
She was called many things
A prostitute
A bitch
A slut
An apostate
A whore
A witch
But what she was
Was a woman
Blessed with a vision
Remembered for
Leading her country
From another country's grip
To freedom
To greatness
Betrayed and dying a martyr
Jeanne d'Arc
Her king was tested by the English
She was unable to speak what she felt
But had visions inside
They forced her to act
To be reviled as a fool
Perhaps
The visions would surface
And she would be received
By the king
Lead the armies
Break the siege
Around Orleans
A girl who dressed like a boy
Prayed like a monk
Made war like a general
Led a people to arms
Broke the siege
Around the city
Even as the English taunted
For how could a girl
Lead an army of men in war
She was called many things
A prostitute
A bitch
A slut
An apostate
A whore
A witch
But what she was
Was a woman
Blessed with a vision
Remembered for
Leading her country
From another country's grip
To freedom
To greatness
Betrayed and dying a martyr
Jeanne d'Arc
Monday, May 6, 2013
Bast, God, and the Gift
You are welcome to believe
What you wish about God
Gods and Goddesses
I believe in the creator
With ever fiber of my soul
And I believe God's message
Is love, eternal love
I sorrow the lost opportunities
That I had
But I give God all praise
For the blessings he has given me
And the reminders of his love
That have shown me his grace
Mischa
Simone
Katya
Sophia
Blessings that others might not see
But they remind me
Comfort me
Are proof to me
Of their divinity
Of his love
Of the love for my being

(Photo credit)

Proxy photo for my Mischa
( photo credit )

Proxy photo for my Simone
(photo credit)
My Sophia
My Katya
What you wish about God
Gods and Goddesses
I believe in the creator
With ever fiber of my soul
And I believe God's message
Is love, eternal love
I sorrow the lost opportunities
That I had
But I give God all praise
For the blessings he has given me
And the reminders of his love
That have shown me his grace
Mischa
Simone
Katya
Sophia
Blessings that others might not see
But they remind me
Comfort me
Are proof to me
Of their divinity
Of his love
Of the love for my being

(Photo credit)

Proxy photo for my Mischa
( photo credit )
Proxy photo for my Simone
(photo credit)
My Sophia
My Katya
Thursday, May 2, 2013
WINTER KILL
I am often asked why I don't make more books of "pure" poetry, rather than epic and genre poetry. Fantasy or science fiction poetry might not appeal to many readers.
That might be true. However, I grew up reading Beowulf, The Song of Roland, Le Morte D'Arthur and more. Epic poems, however archaic, for me are in my blood. So I will never stop writing them myself.
I did write a series of autobiographical poems and mixed in them a series of semi autobiographical poems I wrote about the world I saw with the birth of and growing up of my son.
When I contacted artist Simon Huelsbeck of SimonHuelsbeck.net about working together on something he wanted to do something with poetry, and something serious. His work is speechlessly beautiful, beyond description. This poem series fit his work, and we named it Winter Kill. My cousin and talented artist Mark Orluck impressed me with his ability to show a certain spirit through his work that I thought would be useful as a point to make at the end of the book, and he provided some beautiful images too.
The end result is a somber work, and one all the people asking me for a serious work should enjoy.
WINTER KILL
I am asking for your support, of course, but this work is special, you see, it is an autobiographical poetry work, with beautiful paintings, and pen and ink drawings, for a very inexpensive price. We are offering it after what has been a very long winter, and we've all seen acts that have caused horrible sorrow in the recent days. Winter is long. Let us rise up, and over come the cycle of the seasons, and find permanent joy.
That might be true. However, I grew up reading Beowulf, The Song of Roland, Le Morte D'Arthur and more. Epic poems, however archaic, for me are in my blood. So I will never stop writing them myself.
I did write a series of autobiographical poems and mixed in them a series of semi autobiographical poems I wrote about the world I saw with the birth of and growing up of my son.
When I contacted artist Simon Huelsbeck of SimonHuelsbeck.net about working together on something he wanted to do something with poetry, and something serious. His work is speechlessly beautiful, beyond description. This poem series fit his work, and we named it Winter Kill. My cousin and talented artist Mark Orluck impressed me with his ability to show a certain spirit through his work that I thought would be useful as a point to make at the end of the book, and he provided some beautiful images too.
The end result is a somber work, and one all the people asking me for a serious work should enjoy.
WINTER KILL
I am asking for your support, of course, but this work is special, you see, it is an autobiographical poetry work, with beautiful paintings, and pen and ink drawings, for a very inexpensive price. We are offering it after what has been a very long winter, and we've all seen acts that have caused horrible sorrow in the recent days. Winter is long. Let us rise up, and over come the cycle of the seasons, and find permanent joy.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The Quest Knight, Perfect
One only would find it
Only one who was pure
Would find the strength
Only one would find the Grail
Only one might endure
The harvest of sorrow
One would pass the test
The pain of temptation
The unraveling of his soul
Serait encore lui laisser,
Compléter
Only that single knight
Could hear the voices
Of the faer and their kin
Calling and leading the quest knight
To the place where the one
Would be allowed in
To find the altar
Where the grail was kept
By the keeper
The quest knight could not falter
Or the kingdom of Arthur
Would surely fall
Only he
The son of the perfect knight
Lancelot du Lac
Who had fallen
When he lusted for the queen
Galahad, only Galahad
Had the purest heart
He had the dream
Of Christ's holy chalice
Galahad
Beautiful and brave
He had a sword
So powerful and mighty
La peur, l'honorable
Had a heart so gentle
A nature so serene
Galahad would accomplish the test
But only he
Le chevalier Quest, Parfait
Only one who was pure
Would find the strength
Only one would find the GrailOnly one might endure
The harvest of sorrow
One would pass the test
The pain of temptation
The unraveling of his soul
Serait encore lui laisser,
Compléter
Only that single knight
Could hear the voices
Of the faer and their kin
Calling and leading the quest knight
To the place where the one
Would be allowed in
To find the altar
Where the grail was kept
By the keeper
The quest knight could not falter
Or the kingdom of Arthur
Would surely fall
Only he
The son of the perfect knight
Lancelot du Lac
Who had fallen
When he lusted for the queen
Galahad, only Galahad
Had the purest heart
He had the dream
Of Christ's holy chalice
Galahad
Beautiful and brave
He had a sword
So powerful and mighty
La peur, l'honorable
Had a heart so gentle
A nature so serene
Galahad would accomplish the test
But only he
Le chevalier Quest, Parfait
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Love in Ruins
Only tenderness is wrought
By the acts of love
Even when the world is in ruins
All around us
No battles need be fought
No battles to be won
No rebirth from the womb
Only Justice
When there is love
In a world shaken to its roots
Buildings fallen
Torrential rain pouring down
There still can be good
With love in the ruins
Simple love
By the acts of love
Even when the world is in ruins
All around us
No battles need be fought
No battles to be won
No rebirth from the womb
Only Justice
When there is love
In a world shaken to its roots
Buildings fallen
Torrential rain pouring down
There still can be good
With love in the ruins
Simple love
Monday, April 22, 2013
Beauty in the Grass
After my Lord's army
Had all but vanquished the foe
We had entered a period of rest
I'd then dreamed of solace from war
I had been tempted by my weakness
To waver from my quest
I'd given up all my belongings
I'd sworn off all pleasures of the flesh
I'd forsaken all treasures for HIM
And now in the lull of battle
When my body was weakened
I stepped into the garden for air
And saw her reclining
In perfect splendor
Beauty in the grass
I gave in to despair
Tears flowed down
For here she was
I wanted her so
I lusted her flesh indeed
And turned from her beauty
As if it were ugliness
And rejected my sins
Embarrassed and ashamed
That inside at least
I'd allowed my self
To shame my creed
So I went back into the battle
Unrested
Unready
Unclean
Sunday, April 21, 2013
My Warrior, My Elizabeth
So tired from her passionate fight
Justice doesn't wait
But she is tired and sleep calls
So lays in abject glory
So pure in her beauty
Unspoiled
Dreaming of soaring
In silvery skies
Sleeping
Wanting only joyous thoughts
Revels in purity
She is lovely
Yes
She is my heart's only desire
Laying there
My Elizabeth
Quiet so quiet
Peacefully dreaming
But her heart is afire
With knowing
She is held in place
By angel wings
And warrior's fire
She knows I wait
Forever if needed
So she sleeps
And I am here
When she breathes
I hear
She dreams
I am near
She sighs in her sleep
She is my dear
My Elizabeth
My loved one
My only love
My only
When you awake soon
I will be here
(art by Jeffery Catherine Jones)
Justice doesn't wait
But she is tired and sleep calls
So lays in abject glory
So pure in her beauty
Unspoiled
Dreaming of soaring
In silvery skies
Sleeping
Wanting only joyous thoughts
Revels in purity
She is lovely
Yes
She is my heart's only desire
Laying there
My Elizabeth
Quiet so quiet
Peacefully dreaming
But her heart is afire
With knowing
She is held in place
By angel wings
And warrior's fire
She knows I wait
Forever if needed
So she sleeps
And I am here
When she breathes
I hear
She dreams
I am near
She sighs in her sleep
She is my dear
My Elizabeth
My loved one
My only love
My only
When you awake soon
I will be here
(art by Jeffery Catherine Jones)
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Just a kiss, just a kiss?
Your lips drive me mad
Tease me into believing
That dreams can be had
With you
Your kiss
Makes me miss
The days of innocence
I once knew
But no longer do
Once I walked
Through hellsfire
To reach this place
Sulfur burning
The wounded suffer
But it isn't hell
Nor heaven
Neither destiny
Nor fate
That drove me here
Only your lips
Your kiss
The perfume of
Your luxurious love
The glories of
Your treasures beckon
I stand awake from the tomb
I leave aside and behind me
The prophet's call of doom
For you are love
And your lips are my hope
My passion
My desire
Tease me into believing
That dreams can be had
With you
Your kiss
Makes me miss
The days of innocence
I once knew
But no longer do
Once I walked
Through hellsfire
To reach this place
Sulfur burning
The wounded suffer
But it isn't hell
Nor heaven
Neither destiny
Nor fate
That drove me here
Only your lips
Your kiss
The perfume of
Your luxurious love
The glories of
Your treasures beckon
I stand awake from the tomb
I leave aside and behind me
The prophet's call of doom
For you are love
And your lips are my hope
My passion
My desire
Thursday, April 11, 2013
The Scream Inside
Sometimes I feel like
the pain in my mind
will turn my skull from inside my flesh
Outside
The cloak of flesh will fall away
And my bones will stand in somber embrace
With the world that stares today
In rage
For my being different
I will be at one with the world
Without them realizing
For the pain they hide
I will wear
As my flesh
With every breath
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
You Left Me Behind
I can't sleep without dreaming
But with you gone forever
I can't dream any more
I can't breathe without thinking
What will I do without you
Since you shut the door
When you went away
Since you took my heart
On that cold day
You left me behind
Knowing that I
Would never wake up
From this coma
That you left me in
Since the sleep won't come
Without the dream
That you took from me
But with you gone forever
I can't dream any more
I can't breathe without thinking
What will I do without you
Since you shut the door
When you went away
Since you took my heart
On that cold day
You left me behind
Knowing that I
Would never wake up
From this coma
That you left me in
Since the sleep won't come
Without the dream
That you took from me
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
When I am Zero, Will I see you waiting?
When my heart is broken and my tears stain my face
And I've not slept for days
In the morning
Will I see you there
Waiting
When my life is beyond repair, fallen from the shelf
You've kept me upon
In the daylight
Will you be there
Waiting
Waiting for me
When I have given up, I don't care, anymore
Weakness, sorrow and pain grieve me
In the evening darkness
Will you be there
Waiting
Or am I alone
Like I have always been
Alone in the crowded room
Alone in standing room only arena
Waiting for you to see me
Screaming for you to take my hand
Begging for your attention
Daddy hold me
Take me away
From this world
Make it safe and beautiful
Again
Like it never was
When I was a child
I never was before
And I've not slept for days
In the morning
Will I see you there
Waiting
When my life is beyond repair, fallen from the shelf
You've kept me upon
In the daylight
Will you be there
Waiting
Waiting for me
When I have given up, I don't care, anymore
Weakness, sorrow and pain grieve me
In the evening darkness
Will you be there
Waiting
Or am I alone
Like I have always been
Alone in the crowded room
Alone in standing room only arena
Waiting for you to see me
Screaming for you to take my hand
Begging for your attention
Daddy hold me
Take me away
From this world
Make it safe and beautiful
Again
Like it never was
When I was a child
I never was before
Monday, April 8, 2013
Burning Memories
In feigned glory of democracy and free speech
Some believe in, and, others allow -- denial
But the truth exists in the evidence of the past
All it takes is eyes to see
A nose to smell the burnt offerings
And a heart to hear the screams
Some believe in, and, others allow -- denial
But the truth exists in the evidence of the past
All it takes is eyes to see
A nose to smell the burnt offerings
And a heart to hear the screams
Friday, April 5, 2013
Où est la justice?
Il n'est pas autorisé à travailler parce qu'il est noir
Il doit fermer la clef la porte chaque soir
Il est mort, parce que c'est peaux n'etait pas blanche
Mais, il a vecu pour la justice et la savoir
( for those interested in a translation, click here )
Il doit fermer la clef la porte chaque soir
Il est mort, parce que c'est peaux n'etait pas blanche
Mais, il a vecu pour la justice et la savoir
( for those interested in a translation, click here )
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Upon the day when the king returns
The fields will be white
So full of wheat grains
The vines will be heavy
From the grape on the vines
The sun will rise high
Into the sky the day
When the king returns
Oh the glory
For the victory was won
The tide that was turned
Over oblivion
Death conquered
We are saved
By his return
For the king
Will come back today
We will sing of his grace
We will sing of
The depths of his honor
Of his sacrifice so deep
We will marvel at the way
We can barely speak his name
In awe of the king
Who will return today
We will sing
We will sing
So full of wheat grains
The vines will be heavy
From the grape on the vines
The sun will rise high
Into the sky the day
When the king returns
Oh the glory
For the victory was won
The tide that was turned
Over oblivion
Death conquered
We are saved
By his return
For the king
Will come back today
We will sing of his graceWe will sing of
The depths of his honor
Of his sacrifice so deep
We will marvel at the way
We can barely speak his name
In awe of the king
Who will return today
We will sing
We will sing
Sunday, March 24, 2013
The One, I am
I sat upon the moon of a distant planet
Stared into the darkness and pointed
And stars came into view
Because I planned it
For my pleasure
Life is born
Before the universe existed
I am
Before the universe had life
I was
The circle has no start
No ending
Something has always been
I am
Stared into the darkness and pointed
And stars came into view
Because I planned it
For my pleasure
Life is born
Before the universe existed
I am
Before the universe had life
I was
The circle has no start
No ending
Something has always been
I am
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Urban Eden
In the lush forest of existence of the extravagance of the leisure
I walked into the center of the capital of all the luxury
Built with exquisite energy and effort and all the empire's treasures
What I saw would shock me for the rest of my life, however unwealthy
I saw glass and steel shattered, like so many dreams of man
I saw melted stone and wood collapsed
Like so many hearts and hopes we have
I saw decay abundant
I saw devastation beyond decay
I saw abhorrent things
I cannot relate
And the world around me
Fell to my feet
As the people looked around and said
How beautiful is this,
The world that we have made
I walked into the center of the capital of all the luxury
Built with exquisite energy and effort and all the empire's treasures
What I saw would shock me for the rest of my life, however unwealthy
I saw glass and steel shattered, like so many dreams of man
I saw melted stone and wood collapsed
Like so many hearts and hopes we have
I saw decay abundant
I saw devastation beyond decay
I saw abhorrent things
I cannot relate
And the world around me
Fell to my feet
As the people looked around and said
How beautiful is this,
The world that we have made
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Entombed in living flesh
I walked along the shore
Of a lake frozen closed
I stepped upon the surface
The ice held my weight
Although my sorrow was heavy
The ice neither cracked nor leaked
I looked down into the ice
And saw a face frozen looking up
It didn't scream, it didn't cry
It didn't move, it didn't speak
All it did was exist
Much like me here
Frozen or unfrozen
All it did was exist
In the living or gray
I have to be more
I have to escape
The unliving life
The slumber of the waking
The existing just to exist
Thaw my being
So that I might truly live
Warm my soul
So that I might be alive
Of a lake frozen closed
I stepped upon the surface
The ice held my weight
Although my sorrow was heavy
The ice neither cracked nor leaked
I looked down into the ice
And saw a face frozen looking up
It didn't scream, it didn't cry
It didn't move, it didn't speak
All it did was exist
Much like me here
Frozen or unfrozen
All it did was exist
In the living or gray
I have to be more
I have to escape
The unliving life
The slumber of the waking
The existing just to exist
Thaw my being
So that I might truly live
Warm my soul
So that I might be alive
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