Thursday, September 7, 2017

Crucified by Modernity

With every breath my lungs swell
With the toxicity that comes from
Then my flesh is wrung like a bell
And my nightmare is begun
Cavernous emptiness
Thinking carelessly
Hearing only
What I want
Losing only
What I need
Let me be crucified
By the nails and tree
That I grew
And forged
With blood and fire
I am not worthy of mercy
Only he is worthy
And only he
Is the son most exalted

Wednesday, September 6, 2017


Walking above the walls
I observe the world
Held my place
Upon the battlements
Of this great stronghold
Awake in thought
Asleep in body
My flesh so pale
So cold, unmoving
But I remain aware
Of time's absolute
And endless flow
I am an island
Unwashed by the flood
Avoided by those who sail
For I am their nightmare
Dreaming for so long
My eyes become black
As has become the spirit inside
This creeping hunger
For the blood
For the souls
Of the living
I will hunt and drain
Leaving them behind
Into darkness

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Just a number

Just a number
Not a name
Who will remember us
Or why we came
Our design lost
Our purpose missing
What was the point
What was our mission
If we cry
Will someone hear it
Remember us
Remember us
Add us unto the book
We were sent with hope
Never happened
We returned unwhole
With broken spirits
Just a number
This flesh is cold
Our spirit dying
Or so we are told
Until the time
We are taken back
To our home
We fight our fate
Abandon destiny
No retreat
No surrender
No existence
In this our black December

Monday, September 4, 2017

so many crushing questions

Is not wanting to live
The same as wanting to die?
Who made the rules about life?
Why bother asking why?
I refuse to wait in the absence of hope
My life is my own
To destroy or celebrate
Or is there something more
Something beyond perception
That exists, just as we do
But isn't made of clay
Isn't limited to a casing
Of flesh, so impermanent

Sunday, September 3, 2017

waiting and staring

no other sound in the terminal
just a hollow silence
where foot steps sound like thunder
I sit waiting for that phone to ring
and until then
I sit and wonder
why do I care so much
why do I worry
she said she didn't love me
so why do I desire her mercy
am I wrong so often
is she truly gone
until the bus pulls up
until she calls that phone
I will sit and wait
and stare at that thing
all night

Saturday, September 2, 2017


We invite it into our abode
Endless war
Bestial slaughter
Depredation and famine
Catastrophe and disaster
It is in our nature
We give all modern worship
To the gods, Ares and Mammon
We make great statements
Place our hand to our heart
We promise
Never to do what we do
Then in different forms
We do the same
We are counterfeiters 
With absolute self righteous glee
We make our bent nature
Celebrated as a sacrament
A holy writ
Our lie
Our deceit
And our fallen nature
Only makes more plain
More obvious
The difference between
The creations of men
And the creation of gods

Friday, September 1, 2017

Damnation's Rage

Desolation damnation
Isolation antinatalism
We have no excuse
We've broken out the fuel
For a planet of fools
Light the match
Stand looking
The planet is afire
Human castration
Death of the flesh
Shame of our kind
Fear induced abortions
We are dying
By their own hand
Visiting the funeral caisson
Carrying the corporate carcass
We are now carrying the torch
To light the final path
Because this is the end
Enter the world of wrath

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Princess Katya

She is the nectar that the gods held for occasions
So important that the world was aware
She is the sound of the angels singing
She is a child's joy at the fair
She is beauty beyond measure
She is uncommon, a being so unusual
Unlike humans
Full of kindness
Full of hope
She is the universe's crown jewel
And no one has existed yet
Worthy of her
She is my heart's love
And I am the one
She shares her life with
I am blessed so deeply
My heart is full

“What greater gift than the love of a cat?”—Charles Dickens

Wednesday, August 30, 2017


Humans believe so greatly
In their genius, such vanity
That they forget
That a gift, can also bring a curse
The flame given to humanity
From Prometheus
Caused his being punished
As a traitor
Punished so harshly
Receiving no amnesty
He was broken
We do not, cannot see
That this flame
Is more than fire
It is power
It is ability
It is danger
Humans have not given thought
To the consequences to our benefactor
Nor to our lives
Of use of so dangerous a thing
We use it so very blindly
Never minding
The cost to the body
The toxicity
The dangerous desire
To use it to harm
To rule over all others
We can't see the barbarity
When that power is used
To blackmail others into submission
And if it is used
Come now damnation
Hell upon the earth
This gift can be a curse
The balance requires wisdom
A quality in humans
That is lacking

Tuesday, August 29, 2017


In my life I've not forgotten
The way you light the day
With your morning smile
The sweet scent of tomorrow
Falls with the sakura blossoms
Tears of beauty are not to be shamed
For you so innocently beguiled
Me and my heart feel no sorrow
Because you are truly a beacon
Shining in the darkness of life
My heart is the Garden of Eden
You've made healing from strife
You move me beyond my reach
And you've taken me and given
Your love has tried to teach
And I've listened, and I've listened
You claim to not be a healer
But you do not understand
I've been broken in my demeanor
Because I couldn't take a stand
Now my life may not be perfect
But I live with no regrets
I will always find a reason to connect
What you've taught me I will not forget

Monday, August 28, 2017

Storm calls my name

Forgive me I never knew
I never wanted to see
Forgive me, my mind's askew
Thinking I was redeemed
The storm is about to hit
Nowhere to hide from it
Run from the harvest
But I'm asleep in the garden
Refuse to wake, can't move my self
Life story unchosen from the shelf
Where can I go
To find your face
With nothing to show
But need your embrace
Let the rain fall
Let the storm strike
I hear my name called
And the room is dreamlike
The storm never passes
My soul is disturbed
The crisis won't last
The world is absurd
So why wonder

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Don't want to wait forever

There is no solace from the grief
Knowing she will never return
Sorrow and pain are a thief
While the memories burn

When I reach for the phone
Slam it back down knowing
She is gone and I am alone
Aware of the reaping, sowing

I am content in the belief
That there is more in the end
But it brings me no relief
If that is the message being sent

God I have no more in me
To face the fears of the abyss
I gave my all to be redeemed
But until I die, I will twist

It is true, I have nothing left to share
And I am broken, and still grieving
You might listen and not care
As for me, these wounds are bleeding

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Broken brush

I don't belong upon this planet
Wounded bleeding and scarred
Burns and breaks in my canvas
The paint brush fallen on the floor
Unleashed are waves of sadness
Life lived without being adored
How can anything matter
When the soul is shaken to the core
With knowledge that life does not forgive
We all die
Decayed within
Empty inside
Full of sin
Needing some cyanide
For my final time

Friday, August 25, 2017

Fertile field

This soul is frozen in winter
My heart's a field
And it won't be plowed
It isn't waiting for the sun
To become green
I am satisfied with my life
So please understand
There is nothing I can avow
I never asked you for your heart
I never asked to be the one
Never wanted this to start
Never wanted to be shunned
Not able to love you now
It is something I can't allow
Nothing can grow
So leave me alone
Let me go
Far away
Au revoir

My love
I will miss you

Thursday, August 24, 2017

secret lover

The caravan I was guarding
Was wiped out by Bedouin 
They were invisible before
And when done nothing remained
Two of us survived
My friend was near dead
And in extreme pain
We were captured by horsemen
Who brought us to a camp
Told us we would killed
When the king returned
We'd laid there two days
Without water
Without food
They were deciding what to do
The night was pitch black
She entered the tent without a sound
Laid next to me, upon the carpet
Whispered in my ear
That I should stay silent
Or the guards would come in
And see her freeing me
And slay us both
She quickly removed the rope
Unlocked the chain
Around my neck
I was free to escape
If I was willing to dare
But something made me pause
I was not interested in leaving there
No, something held me back
It wasn't the danger
Nor fear
It was something
I should be ashamed of
But I am not
In the darkness her eyes were liquid
Beautiful and bright
Her gossamer silk
Her jewelry
And perfumes
Her form
Shined like the brightest lights
I became hers
There in the tent of my enemies
Where I had a choice to live
Or die in love
I stayed
For lifetime's pleasure
In a camp guarding the king's treasure
There after loyal to him
For his daughter was now my queen
Secret lover
Her name was hidden
Deep in her soul

Wednesday, August 23, 2017


Am in total freefall
My heart knows it'll crash
Upon hitting the ground
You know why
Yes you do
You watched
Didn't make a sound
As I was broken
For his pleasure
So wrong, so wrong
One slap led to another
Each across my face
I'm fleeing the mayhem
Don't wonder why I'm gone
I don't blame you for not stepping in
No one is owed your courage
But then again
I can't still be your friend
In your presence
My heart becomes malnourished
Pouring out enough for two
Means I haven't enough
So I bid you adieu

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Silence broken in Egypt by the cries

It is the moment of absolute terror
That one cannot plan to experience
When the angel of death appears
Carrying a sword unique to this bearer
It hovers above the cradle, form ethereal
The child stares up in fear

And in that moment
The child is silent
Because death is fast
There is no torment
All is quiet
The die is cast

And a great howl of sorrow
Rose that night in Egypt
For the dead were children
First born and beloved
Thereafter they have no tomorrow
The threat was not secret
The threat was not hidden
The final plague was begun

5 and all the firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die, from the firstborn of the Pharaoh who sits on his throne, even to the firstborn of the slave girl who is behind the millstones; all the firstborn of the cattle as well. 6  Moreover, there shall be a great cry in all the land of Egypt, such as there has not been before and such as shall never be again.  Exodus 11:5,6

Monday, August 21, 2017

Frontiers of an Empire

It has existed
Ab aeterno
It has ruled
Absolutum dominium
It has a reach
Going from Europe
To Asia and the Levant
We are bees serving the queen
Every hive added to the hive mind
We ride along the frontiers
Knowing our acts might provoke
A response from the Gauls
Our actions are just, however
By them the empire grows
We are paid well
Cum gladio et sale
Serving the homeland
Serving the emperor
We are his arms
We are his hands
My life for the emperor
Vivere militare est

Sunday, August 20, 2017

For Varus, AD 09

We marched into death
We lost our lives for Varus
His incompetence
Slaughtered us

The forest was occupied
By the living shadows
They attacked
Germania arose

We were there for Rome
But could do nothing
For we had no idea
Their fury was crushing

Varus was a fool
But I was one greater
For I followed him
I failed my creator

Now my ghost is pale
The winds blow endlessly
And my form is of the veil
We mistook our enemy

For it was Varus we died
It was for conquest we died
It was for Empire we died
But we never were able to live

Our duty to Rome paid
Never seeing our family again
Our flesh in Germania remained
But our children would not forgive

Our absence 

Saturday, August 19, 2017

We are Wolves of the Sea

Our fury
Led others to think
We were bestial
Perhaps they were correct
We had caught the scent
The enemy was near
When we would find them
We would kill them
Their town would be pillaged
Yes, we are wolves
We longed to taste of the enemy
We rode upon the back of dragons
Soon we'd feed upon the flesh
Of the keepers of the temple
Slay their servile villagers
Yes, we were wolves
We were beasts
We flew across the surface
Along the coast of the southern sea
Our Drake Fartyg floated
As if lighter than the water beneath
The sails were pulled down
The morning mist gilded the sun
Some prayed, some oiled their swords
And the blades of our axes
The oars were used to pull us forward
Quietly, we entered the river mouth
Silently, we didn't say a word
We worked our way inland
Still undetected, still silent
We arrived at the beach near the town
Without having stirred any disturbance
We leaped off the ship
Pulled it up nearest to land
Sprinted across the rocks and sand
Wherever there were men in armor
We slew them before they could speak
Not one screamed
Not one made a sound
They'd now bled out
Making the beach
A sort of sacred ground
We move across the city
Burning what could burn
Killing what could move
Gathering what we might need
Or what we'd bring to our home
North of there
Across the sea