I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, il a m'a rendu plus fort.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

My True name is lost

I have been called a god
By those who worship
Called by many names
None know my name true
They still pray
But I am not
Apollo nor Christ
Yahweh nor Allah
They seek to know
But it matters not
If they could know it
Their curious minds
Could not perceive
Who I am or what I am
They could never endure
The dreadful pain paid
For the truths that I know
The pain I experienced
For the hunger
To retrieve from the stream
I have seen galaxies birth
Black holes swallow planets
The glories of creation
Energy swirl about new life
The hands of fate awaken the universe
The cosmic winds blow
And I fly upon them
I have lived forever
Have seen life forms build
Across the surface of the earth
Like ants and anthills
Then whence reaching their peak
They destroy each other
They are united in making war together
Yielding a harvest of bitterness
The tears of eternity pass quickly
For other worlds with be made
Other life forms will break the old curses
By being born into the stream
But they will incur the same wrath
Will follow the same path
Bring upon themselves their fall
The cycle renews
Ad nauseam

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Even with wings I could not fly

Credit: Rogério Timóteo

The future is before us
Shining and spotless
Like the Mediterranean 
Because of my father's genius
We will overcome
His hard work allowed us this moment
We will fly above the sea
Like the gulls
Like the GODS
He is worthy
I will become so
For the child of a god
Is a god
He is telling me now all these directions
Don't fly to high
Don't fly to low
Yes yes I know
All I have in this life
Is my father
I have nothing else
He has given me hope
He has given me my mind's work
Together we have labored
To escape this place
And how exciting
My wings will carry me
Away far away
In the thin sky
Above the sea
Some might fear the method
Some might long for safety
But I trust my father's means
And his skills
And his ways
He is the brightest man
Of the entire Greek sea
Which is why he is
Imprisoned here

Lord Frederick Leighton

I am as well
And we must leave
Or never be free
Like caged beasts
To be pitied
To be of lower class
To be of lesser esteem
My father always said
I was beautiful
I was brave
I was his gift
From the pantheon
Of Zeus
I was not made to be pitied
Nor was he
So we shall fly   
Father said some warnings or such
But I am certain his workmanship will suffice

The sun is so hot
My wings are melting
They fall apart
I am losing altitude
The sea rushes up
To greet me
Father I have failed you
Once again

Credit:  Paul-Ambroise Slodtz, 1741 Musée du Louvre, Paris

Sunday, September 28, 2014

I will let you grieve

Silently, from a distance
I cried as you kissed him goodbye
I shed tears for his life
Soon to pass
But more than that
I cried for the pain in your heart
Because I know
How I would feel
In the same place
But I can't say so
I have to give you room to grieve
To endure
To survive
In your own way
What is in my soul
I believe
All I know
I will be quiet
And pray
Until you can breathe again
There is no shame in sorrow
No shame in the quiet of a hurting heart
Only quiet
And my waiting arms
Although it is possible
The clues are too arcane to know
In the waiting
I might mistake silence
For being unable
To reach out
So call my name

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

My Life, My Winter

Winter for some is renewal 
A time to sleep and recover
It is  part of a cycle 
That inevitably rebounds in Spring
For others it represents the dying of things
The decay of life
My life has entered that season
But I do not foresee renewal
I see terminus
Not for my sorrows 
Or grieving
And not maudlin tears for show
Rather from finding the moment
The period I am entering
As having no way of escape
For not seeing the path
That I know is before me
It is covered
Beneath the densely packed snow
Packed hard from the footpaths
And the travels of others
While I dithered
And was left
To decide my way
I stopped and took a break
And found that I was covered
With ice, and cold, and exhaustion
That might determine my fate

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Wind and Fire

Once begun
The Divine Wind was a fire
It burned fiercely in the hearts
Of the warriors of the Rising Sun
It was unquenchable
Like a wildfire with fuel
The Kamikaze as they were called
Believed that in their death
They would ascend to heaven
Become Gods Of Thunder
Entering a pantheon
Divine protectors of their homeland

Like the god Susanoo-woo
Who sent the typhoon
The Wind that crushed
Mongols invading Japan
At Hakata Bay
The Kamikaze sought
To follow the path
The winds of the past
Had created
They entered death freely

The pilots attacked
With no chance to survive
They believed they would stop
The tide of war
Fatal calculations
One pilot = One ship
Only the anti-aircraft flak
Could slow down the Divine Wind
The fire raged
Until Japan was crushed
By a different fire
Set by American planes
And two bombs

Friday, September 19, 2014

Been doing a bit of thinking

I might be wrong
But I pray I am right
Even without hope
Keep holding on, as long as you can
There isn't a goal in sight
Keep them tight
Your hands around that rope
Or you'll fall beneath the waves
But never give in
Never give up
Make sense of the chaos
Friends will betray
Enemies hate
Whatever you do
Whoever you are
Whenever you pray
They'll be there
Hating your every move
Because they are made that way
Be different from them
Live for good things
Victory is found
In small things done
Not enemies destroyed
Not epic battles won

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Dreamless State

This is my life
I wait for the end
My life paid out
With wrath
That crushes souls
My journey
So long and alone
Yet I never held doubt
I walked the despised path
Hated and spat upon
Storms crushing hope

Black clouds
The bleeding rains
Pouring down
So very cold
These wounds never heal
Never rising above
Bitter shame
I can never last
But for now
I endure

But even in
Mother's arms
Even held by love
I can not sleep
Nightmares fill my head
Haunting my dreams
Until I lay
Wakelessly awake
And pray
For any kind
Of relief


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

To Love One, To Love Another

Because I loved only one
I never acted
Upon my base instincts
I never acted out of lust
I never did anything
But what I did
What I had done
Already in my heart
To love one
To love another
There is a fine line
Between trust
And that fiery lust
And now in retrospect
I see my flaw
I've been cheating all along
The fantasies of my mind
The deepening desires
So wrong
All my fault
Throughout my life
Sorrow never ending
I should never start
Because I love one
I should not love another
Even in my mind

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The End

Je ne regrette rien. Je offert mon âme, nu, et si les autres se soucient ou non, j'ai dû m'exprimer.

To survive, to suffer but live, is not a great big deal.  To live life without regrets, that, is very much a big deal.

I care not for your pity, I care not for your money.  I simply wish I was able to endure, for your pleasure, of course. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Barefoot upon broken glass

Despite the pain
I walked one million miles
Barefoot upon broken glass
My flesh shredded to ribbons
But on I went
Kept going
Because I knew
Were where I'd end my path
The winds swirl
But in your arms
I am comforted
In a frozen hearted world
The storms can last
Forever if they like
But here
There is nothing
But you
And here
Your love is true

Friday, September 12, 2014

Nothing left, so it seems

A mockery of opportunity
We walk alone
From the garden we've been cast
The hunger for meaning
Continues forward
While we try to ignore
The past devastation
Of innocence
Childhood slashed
Forgive the stolen moments
The small torments
That color our memory
Existence is balanced
With the future's hope
And the tragedies of the past

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Forgotten Warriors

In his day
He'd done great things
Traveled the world
Fought for the King
Won battles
None could have dreamed possible
But he was unconcerned
Never felt alone
Never loved a girl
Never worried for his future
He knew he had family
Within his unit
Closer than brothers he said
He'd be fine, taken care of
When the time came
He was in the moment
He was everything
He ever wanted to be
But some of his brothers
Were now dead
But that was part of life
Soldiers pass on
He never needed medals
Or thanks
From his country
But now
His time was ending
Upon the earth
Age and wounds
Took their toll
Soon he'd die
His spirit would be free
Until then he suffered
For despite his life
Given for the state
He was forgotten
By king and country
And it was the epitome
Of shame