I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

eternity hourglass

river waters
rocks tumble
down the stream bed
moved by the current
like the days escaping
every second lost
every minute spent
no day retrieved
as sands pour
into the lower cup
of the hour glass
they slide down
keep track
trickling slowly
not moving fast
until the end
no sound
escapes the device
even as
eternity approaches
our lives pass
without apology
no one slows the passage
of our days
without  renewal
they are numbered
soon to be extinct
they never last
the spark still flickers
but the clay
the spark inside
moves on
when the clay
is dried
becomes useless
finally then
falls away

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

in the dark reflecting

The resistance
Calls inside
The rebel
Has no choice
For every voice
There is a legion
Of followers
And pain
For every heart
There is an answer
To the question
If I have life
How do I accept
All the things
That kill me
All the things
That break me
All the things
That burn my soul
Swallows my godflesh
Swallows my spark
I was given
a dream
So where is
The power
To make it real
To make it happen
Outside of sleep
To make it

Monday, July 25, 2016

The tentacles of Alien Gods

Hear the echoes of eternity's bell
Calling out a warning
Within the bosom of nether realms
Where humans never dwell
There the temples have been built
And there can be found
The altars dedicated to alien gods
But this is not holy ground
Despite having tentacles
These are not octopods
But Great Cthulhu
And his kind

The False Judge

I am not perfect
I am not even close
I am broken
Of my faults
The choirs sing
Too many times
Too many ways
I tell myself
I'll do the right thing
And fail
All the while knowing
What I should have done
To do it the right way
I hold grudges
I hold hurt
Deep within
Before I've begun
Damning me
To fail
No matter how patiently
I wait before I act
No I do not rush in
I walk slowly
Telling myself
What to do
And then
With grace
With Mercy
Both behind me
I do
That which
Disgraces the mercy
And that
Which makes a lie
Of the grace
I try to embrace
Who am I
To hold in judgment
The people
Living just as I am
Without any sort of map
An absurd world
We carve our meaning from
Every day
God forgive me
For being me
Bang the drum
Of war for the war
Within my heart
And perhaps
I will survive
And win
But until that day
I linger in my failure
With echoes of my regret
That I can't forget

Friday, July 22, 2016

bury me deep

for most of this life
I stare at the wall
never wanting
never knowing
never needing
anything at all
but I was confused
dazed and unaware
that there was more
than screams of pain
as if held by chains
I put out the call
my grieving was
the song of sorrow
as I slept
as I walked
as I stared
at the wall
I dreamt of angels
but it was
demons chasing
me all the way
to hell
but they didn't
want a fool
like me
they didn't long
for an idiot
and naively
a child
to the sorrow
he held closely
my heart was broken
over and over
I refused attempts
by them
the people who loved
to repair
the beating thing
I walked
I stared
and slept
And never
woke from this
that surrounds me
I am buried
in the ground
but am not dead
but I am ready
ever ready so

Thursday, July 21, 2016

memories echo

with every breath
every moment of thought
every second I live
I remember
her voice
since her death
such sorrow was wrought
I am compelled to admit
is not a choice
as the memories of her
echo constantly
she lives in my brain
wherever I have been
whatever I might do
wherever I might go
I miss her desperately
and have nothing more
than memories to show
but with every moment of thought
I remember how she loved me
And I loved her
and will

Saturday, July 16, 2016

I have one duty, and that duty is to kill

My duty is to harvest
The dead must be taken
I offer no kindness
No polite salaam
No generous warning
Because I am Abbadon
The end is now
I am death itself
I am the hand
of God
The crops of spring
Will be burned and blackened
The cities of ancient rise
Will be flattened
I am called by the one
To be his hand of death
And I fall upon the world
In the form of a dragon
My fire will burn
The world conquered
Will be better
For my actions
For I act
With the sanction
Of almighty God
I am Abbadon
I am not an angel
I am one with a duty
To take you
From this world
And bring you
To the next
From one of beauty
To one of cruelty
And you are responsible
For your placement

Friday, July 15, 2016

Death's Head

I am aware that my flesh weakens
As I age
But with age
The wisdom increases
The knowledge grows
If I keep breathing
My body deteriorates
And there is pain
My body is not alone
I breathe as a being
A member of a collective
Inhaled air
Exhaled from the lungs
Of others
We share a world
If I die, it is not wounded much
But my wisdom and knowledge
If shared
Benefits the world with reason
To live is to taste of the eternal
To die is to be reborn
Into bosom of the creator
I am ready to wait
For the fate I am destined

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Purified by Fire

You needn't be perfect
You must only be burning
With a spirit alive
King or beggar
Athlete or crippled man
You have fire inside
Or die
You rage with a storm
Of power
Or you are spat out
Like lukewarm water
You breathe in truth
And pour it out
It kills you first
Then leaves you stronger
Breathe in
You are not a dragon
You are a warrior
You've been baptized
You are now pure within

By a fire
That never dies

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

next time, next life, I promise

this broken body
can't be glued together
falling apart
a shitty plan
for living
my breaking heart
limbs and hope
from the flow
cast out
down the road
by the flood
of body parts
mental disease
and unbelief
and undeath
take me beneath
the water
pull me down
let me take
a deep breath
and say
what was lost
has now been found

Monday, July 11, 2016

Sleeping without rest

The cell of my prison
Is an isolation chamber
Others call it my bedroom
My bed is no comfort
I am unable to sleep
My misery is wrought
For it is there
Demons are in my thoughts
Chasing me in my mind
I've tried to sleep but cannot
I lust for so much
Which I dare not
Desire for things, if received
Would cause me to die
I cannot bear this torture
Every night
I lose as I enter
The arena of the fight
My mind needs quiet
But cannot find it here
My days are long
My brain is tired
Filled with fear
I need silence
To sleep
But it isn't coming to me
I run from the demons
As they follow
Screaming does not help
No one comes to save me
As my soul pales
Turns hollow
And I slip
From view

The nightgaunts haunt
And the demons chase me
I see flying beasts rising
Oblivion come
Demons do not slow
In these Dream-Lands
I will be dying
And in the waking
I will not rise
But instead
When they arrive here
My soul will flee
And I will turn pale
And disappear
Flesh turning to dust

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Washed upon the shore

When it had begun
Everyone said I'd be fine
I was just moody
A sensitive one
I'd get along
It was just a phase
I was going through
But they were wrong
I was confused and dazed
Now my skin is turning blue
They are singing a song
About this malaise
They never knew
No one knew
What I was going through
And the sorrow
Never passed in time
I was beneath the surface
Never coming up for air
I'd drowned
Disappeared that day
Sucking water down
Into my lungs
No tears in an ocean
I floated silently away
Now I am alone
And silent
But for the songs
About sorrow
Sung by people
Who never knew
And drums
For the lost
By those
Who never cared
Breaking the surface
So many years later
I was no longer myself
But there I was blessed
There was nothing left
To identify my own self
With my sins
I was free
And emptied
Of me