Saturday, February 28, 2015

Forgot about

They put me in a can
Tightened the lid
Locked it up
Turned out the light
On the electric grid
Showing them who
Is in which cell
In this concrete and iron
Gray hell
I've searched the cage
There is no escape
Rattled the bars
Screamed for the jailer
I'm stuck inside
Maybe forever
Maybe until
The earth dies
Who am I kidding
They won't leave me behind
Any more than they
Already did
Oh no
This isn't the time
To learn
They've forgotten me
I am not on anyone's mind
God forbid
Oh sweet Jesus
God forbid

Friday, February 27, 2015

Presenting my new Amazon Author Profile Page

Waves of gratitude

Laying there
Like a corpse
My eyes were closed
My body was still
Taking shallow breaths
No one could rouse me
I was asleep in my flesh
Until I heard you speak
I couldn't imagine life
Without pain
By my life
By my failures
I epitomized defeat
But then you came
And I was awakened
You stirred my heart
Into beating
I could be a fool for believing
But you awoke my soul
By giving it wings
And I could fly
By my knowing
That you live
You live

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Sorrow's Song

When I found out
That you were not
Who you said you were
I said just end it
You had pretended
That we were together
But that was a lie
That was a lie
My sorrow began
When your love ended
My tortured life
I began my descent
And my heart
Could not be mended
When you went away
Continued alone
I could never
Transcend this
This sorrow
This path
I am left
To walk
This path
Is beyond me
My soul
By the blade
Of sorrow
And you
Keep walking
I gave my heart
And I was betrayed
Forever and a day
My heart

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Disease of Me

Like an abcess
Never removed
After a lifetime
I am purely
Alive but death
Everyone left
They ran from me
Spat upon my face
Died early
Failed the test
Just to escape
Leaving me
Heart broken with a
Ripped open chest
Hated me
Unable to even be
Worth a moment
Of your day
They threw me away
Gave me back
Wished I was dead
Threw me in the trash
An abortion that lived
A day in the life of
A being who survived
But was never forgiven
For the crime of being

Saturday, February 21, 2015

A Prayer

I heard the voice
Through my being it poured
Of the architect of ever
The creator of all
The maker of the entire universe
My heart began to roar
As he called my name
He heard my call
He broke every curse
As I walked through the open door
That he laid there for me
To enter communion
With him
Despite my ugly sins
Despite my dark soul
Despite my hateful being
He has protected me
From every manner of harm
And now
He asked me to come within
His forgiving
His loving
His merciful

Friday, February 20, 2015

In a Cage, In the Asylum

Whatever I did
Whatever I gave
I have nothing more to say
I have nothing more to give
I have nothing I can do
And as of now
I don't even want to live
Everything I have done
Can be cast away
It didn't matter anyway
My love is broken
My sorrow will now be
My life will be poured out
Without my mouth opened
Not one word
About my broken heart
And my soul
Leaking doubt
Just lock me up 
In the cage
Throw away
The key
It doesn't matter
What you say
I will never
Be free

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Ever ahead

By this pain
It costs me
Everything I am
To stay
I want to run
Far far away
Sometimes I want to say
Fuck the future
All there is, is now
But then
I see all those past generations
Who themselves
Said the same
And now the present
Is fucked
For the foreseeable
Ever ahead
Anything I do
Will not interrupt
The motions of time
Set forward
All I do
Will only be
A ripple
On the surface
Of the pond
Into the whirlpool
I will be sucked
And entombed
This body will be
To see if the cause
Of death
Was a curse
But it is not
The decay begins
The moment of birth
The flesh begins to turn
From our first moments
From the womb
But I go on
Despite the present

Friday, February 13, 2015

Hidden Glory

He kept her in his keep
Deep behind thick walls
Holding her from others
So as to make her his own
In the evenings together they'd sleep
During days alone she'd suffer
Lonely for company, she was alone
He couldn't bear the thought
Of sharing her 
For the potential of her leaving
But it was due to his fear that it was this way
His mind created misery nightmares it wrought
For she was in love with him
Just as much as he treasured her
Together their souls were weaving 
And she wanted to be his
Together tie a ceremonial knot
He was so shy in demeanor
Not trusting of others
So fearful of fate
He barely spoke for fear of revealing
His plans to keep her
With him forever
Out of reach of another
This dance went on
Until they were old
And all others could think
Was how odd a pair

Thursday, February 12, 2015


My love died through attrition
When you were here, you didn't notice me
When I was gone, you said you missed me
When I speak, you never listen
And when you yelled (at me), never stopped
So why do I miss you at all
Have I performed the proper excision
Of my rights, of my property?
Do I belong to the correct religion?
Am I not what you demanded
Do I need to beg to be forgiven
For some crime I've committed
Without knowledge?
I cannot do what I do not know
I cannot be what I am not aware
So excise me
From your lists
Of conquests
I don't belong there

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Dance, Dance

Take my hand, and walk with me
Join me upon the ballroom floor
The music is subdued but rhythmic
And soon you'll be wishing for more

We are the recently dead
We are the newly lost
Your lifetime is now at an end
But dance, dance, there is no cost
The band is playing for free
While our bodies decay in pine box
We are the bones of our memory
We are the flesh of our past
We the lingering doubts
That kept us from victory
We are the echoes of joy
We are the last remnants of pain
Dance, now dance
The macabre dance of fate

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Hubris and Opulence

Plague of sorrows
Torn by misery
Legacy of torment
No tomorrows
Tears burn bitterly
Forlorn is our lament
Atlantis our home
Sink beneath the surface
Take your people with you
The waves are rising
The rains keep falling
Society's destruction
The peak of greatness
The fall from the heights
Gods we beseech
Atlantis falling
In a day
Generations fed deceit 
Greatness a word
Not a deed
Our rise was hubris
Every day gilded 
Our fall is preordained
By our uprising conceit
Never again such grandeur
Our prestige 
Such opulence
A lie
The heights we've climbed
Now civilization must die

"Now in this island of Atlantis there was a great and wonderful empire which had rule over the whole island and several others, and over parts of the continent and, furthermore, the men of Atlantis had subjected the parts of Libya within the columns of Heracles as far as Egypt, and of Europe as far as Tyrrhenia.This vast power, gathered into one, endeavored to subdue at a blow our country and yours and the whole of the region within the straits, and then, Solon, your country shone forth, in the excellence of her virtue and strength, among all mankind."  PLATO

Monday, February 9, 2015

Above all, I am

Tomorrow comes and goes
And I haven't moved at all
My heart waits for you
Seeming to believe that it knows
That you will return
To come for me
Taking my hand, walking away
From this life
Finally, triumphantly
Maybe with a bouquet of roses

Some take my shyness
That is, my silence
In the face of the sorrow
As acquiescence
But it isn't at all
I am neither confused
Nor accepting
Simply calculating
The cost of opening

Broken yes, even crushed
But the wait is not the cause
Unfulfilled dreams
Desires unmet
Prayers unanswered
Loves lost and love that has died
Years of focusing upon my flaws
No one knows how deserving
I am, above all
Of being crushed and cast aside

Sunday, February 8, 2015


They have no faith
Except for their petty gods
Who dance upon the stage
Entertaining them
With their stylistic ignorance
Fashionable nihilistic ways
Begging as they do
Azrael's kiss
They adopt mourning songs
As their anthems
They surrender to fear
As they dive into the abyss
With no integrity
Without shame
I see that chasm
It is vast and growing
I have never given in
I have never given up
To the despair of this age
That forms shackles
About our wrists and ankles
And cynicism in our hearts
I refuse to bow before
Some heartless demon's orgasm
Random failures
Catastrophic defeats
None of these define me
Nor will they call my name
Because I will not bow
Before their fetid desires
Every thing they've done
Every act of rage
Aimed at me
Has been entirely in vain
Every act of my being
Is in rebellion to the way
That entropy and cynicism
Have stolen the day
I resist

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Every time

Every time you stare into my eyes
I can feel
As it goes straight through
Don't you realize that that burns my soul

I never meant to lie
I just didn't know the truth
I've never been whole
So I can't bear your sins
I'd like to
I can't bear your burdens
because I can't even mine

Sometimes I look into the sky
Dark clouds making me smile
I keep hoping for lightning
To strike me dead
So I'll know what it's like
To not be so paralyzed
With fear that someone
Can get near

When you look at me I turn invisible
When you talk I become deaf
When you walk away I abhor who I am
So then I turn around
Catch my breath
Run from this world, run from my life
Still hoping
That the lightning will strike
Then I will be free
From this sin of being me

Monday, February 2, 2015

Time Never Ends

If you live as if life has no ending
You risk losing what you have
And all that you desire
But you will live
If you, like miser, hold it all
Tightly to your chest
You can keep it
Forever with you
In your grave
With nothing to else
That can comfort you
The rest of your journey
The despair of a lifetime
Will linger
Memories like echoes
Through the years
Time moves on
Without your permission
Aging happens
And the seasons flow
We have no control
Over any of life's inertia
We can neither stop it
Nor slow it down
We cannot cheat death
Nor avoid it
We only have hope
To find a way
To move our soul
From this world
To the next
To translate
Life in physical form
To something different