Friday, February 26, 2016

You Tried

You tried to take me from this place
But I couldn't be moved
I was miserable either way
Fully covered even when nude
My spirit hid from liberation
My chains felt so good
And I grew fat upon starvation
You know it is true
I grieved in summer
And celebrated the deepest winter
The only thing that made me smile
Was rain washing away the day
Dear God I am such a sinner
Without joy or guile
I hide my face
But when I hear your name
I know
Yes I know the truth
The rain brings life
Every bit as much as the sun
I cherish the darkness
For the solitude
But I welcome the light
Brought by the one

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Dead Are Unaware

How much do we sacrifice
To give back to life
And our kin
Some live without fear
Others bear the weight
Of their tribe
Everyone endures their share
But not everyone finds victory
A life might have been without hope
It might have been painful
Even a nightmare
But in the end
All of the dead sleep
They need no permission
To lay where they do
They are not yet in Elysium
However much they might desire
Instead they sleep without care
Over the cost of this life
Their soul's thought
The flesh decays
The body turns to dust
The dead are unaware
Of the toll of existence
Who will pay the ferryman
To carry me to shore so distant
Who will judge this life
When my hopes
Dreams were so brilliant
However unfulfilled

“Unbeing dead isn't being alive.” ee cummings

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Unguarded, unarmored

I was covered in steel
Trained in war, a killer of men
Raised to be a warrior from a boy
I was a knight and man
She was innocent
Filled of a certain joy
I was deeply moved
By her gaze
Her scent
Sound of her voice
When I heard her
Thought of the moment
And possible future
When I caught her in my eye
Our souls would collide
It felt as if we merged
Our love became as art
Deep called to deep*
I looked and her beauty
Ripped my comfort apart
Her beauty became inducing
I was in trouble
Repeated blows to my breastplate
Straight to my heart
Loving her was beyond confusing
Requiring the deepest faith
In the reward of love
Because I knew it was true
But getting to the union
Where we both could stand
Was glacially slow
When would we be
And find communion

*Psalm 42:7

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Fate met with Destiny

Fate isn't an invitation
It is a silent expectation
It is not something we do
Instead it is
Something we unconsciously pursue
In the end we remember
And celebrate our victories
But rather it might so be that
Unfulfilled destinies are counted
And remembered as our failures
Unknown expectations are misery
These unfair and concrete contracts
We enter the void emptied
After a life alone
Silent and without a savior

For I am a weed,
Flung from the rock, on Ocean's foam, to sail,
Where'er the surge may sweep, the tempest's breath prevail.

Lord Byron

Saturday, February 20, 2016

There is this, and there is you

Of forever
People ask for miracles
Ask to see your work
But I see your creations
The children and people I treasure
All the features upon the land
I've seen the stars
The planets, world's end
I see the works of your hand 
I hear the cry of nature
And in that 
I see you
I understand
I feel your power
And your majesty
I am in complete
Utter amazement
You placed this world
In golden raiment
We are loved
You are knowable
And I see you there
We are like children
Waiting for you
To reach out to us
We never realize
Our folly and the pretense
Of the created
Demanding the Creator
An audience
We should pay homage
To the glorious king
Of all eternity

Thursday, February 18, 2016

The disaster game

We'd all be willing to help
To solve the problem
Since it affects us
But the scientists and researchers 
Say words that only upon deep inspection
Will we be able to think we know
These words of these experts
Are soporific, deathly
Making things unclear
They set out to be authoritative
They act commanding
By the special words they speak
They confuse most any listener
They make certain
That the cause seems lost
Without them to save us
So we turn over all decisions
All of our choices
To these nameless people
Who'll dirty the water even more
So that others will pay the cost
And these experts end up
With everything
And nothing is solved, at all

Wednesday, February 17, 2016


I don't know anymore
What is ok
What is permissible
I keep a distance
My immediate response
is visceral
I can't help it
I am lost
I can't function
I'd stare
but to gaze
is much softer
you are too beautiful
for me to be subtle
I remain
I apologize
I get lost
in your eyes
watching you
is ecstasy
Kissing you
would be
some sort of
to be close to you
would be
something like
but my thoughts
and feelings
aren't really
that saintly

Friday, February 12, 2016

Tomorrow might be worse

Je suis fini
The city is foul with smoke
From coal stoked chimneys
Industrial noise pollutes the air
Our garbage is strewn
All around us
So that we can
Consume more
This earth is bleeding
I close my eyes
Make still my being
I listen to the beating
Of cataclysm's rhythm

I ask myself
If survival is enough
Because I know the truth
This world is dying
If I am alive
Is it even better than death
Why bother
Why bother
All the while
The green has been calling
There is nothing like its voice
I've found no other sound
That causes my heart
To rejoice

I am not given
The right to choose
Between my soul
And my mind
The world keeps trying
Mais il échoue dès le début 
I sorrow the decay of this world
I grieve the death of hope
I cannot continue endlessly
Je suis très fatigué d'essayer

Thursday, February 11, 2016

If I loved

Again my words fail
My eyes lose contact
Can't remember the words
Because if I loved you
Like a leaf in a gale
My soul would dance
Or like birds
I'd be tossed into
Tumultuous winds
Of passion
If I loved you
That is
But I would never say that
If I said that, I'd be a fool
And I might be a fool
But not about this
Damn it
I need a pseudonym
Why can't a man say he loves you
Without everything falling in on him
I should know or not
If I love you
Because then I'd be filled with joy
And confusion

what was I saying?

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Broken, they are, for our pleasure

Helmets and swords
Flesh, bones
Blood sacrificed
For the pleasure
Of the crowd
Of leisure
Betting their treasure
Broken for you
Slaves trained
Bodies scarred and stained
On the way to stardom
In combat, in the ring
On the fields
For the cheering crowds
From ancient to modern
Taking bodies of the willing
Turning them into the broken
We are sheep and are led
By our masters
Nothing has changed
Bodies sacrificed
For the pleasure
Of the crowds
With wars
Without the dead

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Winter battlefield in Gaul

Shroud of white
Mist of purity
Halo of fog
Rising and covering me
The forest is a maze
With the echoes of war
Elder wood, nearly black trees
With the lingering memory
Of the clash
The ground once printed
With Roman sandals
And Celtic bare feet
The screams of anger
The muted moans of the dying
Become a confluence
A river of tears
From the children of the warriors
All crying
But the days now are modern
The forests are cut
Made to harvest
But the earth remembers
The dreams of conquest
The memories of a slaughter
Where no army won the day
The war forgotten
None remember the contest

Monday, February 8, 2016

My Lady of Sorrow

If you allow me
To pull back
The gossamer thin veil
You call your soul
I will try and not fail
To see the dreams
You never had
And cry the tears
You've never shed
I grieve the children
You have mourned
Who you never met
Because life wasn't kind
When one day he left
The future never happened
The children remained
Only as dreams
Leaving your soul

I can't make it better
From this place
I can't hold you tightly
But I can cry
And dream while you sleep
Hold you in my heart
Make certain to guard
All the secrets
That you keep
If you allow me
I will cover you
With your veil
And pass

Mourning your sadness
But dreaming you
Into hope
Into something that may last
I pray you heal
I pray your heart no longer mourns
I cannot change the past
But I can paint your future
Upon a canvas
Of hope
I can
And I dream of you
Dream of you
Dream of you

Wednesday, February 3, 2016


Between the eternal and temporal
We have choices to determine
As children with lives ephemeral
Or older than our time bearing burdens

salvum me fac

Ego non potestis salvi fieri

Do we live in our flesh desiring to be immortal
Or do we wear a cloak of meat knowing it won't last
Aware of our sins, living out our days remorseful
Or feeling no guilt for anything, unworried if outcast

salvum me fac

Ego non potestis salvi fieri

This world offers no guidance, no signs, only questions
We are living in absurdity, our fate sealed with no answers
Do we rise and accept our fate, or is our fate regression
Do we wallow in misery, asking what has happened only after

salvum me fac

Ego non potestis salvi fieri

Who are we
Why are we here
What is our purpose
When will it be clear?

Because, after all, even the Angel of Death has a purpose.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Can you hear me calling?

Can you hear me
Wake me up
From this slumber
My heart is cold
My spirit has frozen
Frozen water falling
Like a river in winter
Like the ice capped ocean
I am so cold I can't feel
The world has splintered
My heart is broken
Wake me up
I am begging you
This world is dying of erosion
My heart is stopped with no emotion
And all I can do
Is beg you
To please
Wake me
Wake me
Wake me