Welcome


I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte

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copyright notice

Friday, March 31, 2017

The Future or is it Fiction


The innocent cry out for mercy
But the world doesn't listen
It never has
Mercy is a luxury
If it is ever given, at all


The innocent are thirsty
For justice if not hope
But they have nothing
Not even dreams
They can be heard
As their cries echo
The earth is cursed


The wealthy prepare by hoarding
The others either prepare to die
Or steal from those who have little
The word in the air is a warning
Those who have nothing
Have nothing to lose


Centuries of oppression
Ghosts of a different day
Haunt the land
This is no rebellion
It is an attempt to kill
All those who have possessions
Enough to share and who do not


The nuclear fire burns all that lives
This is the end of the just and unjust
No time to escape
Humanity becomes extinct
And the winter following
Kills all other beings

Thursday, March 30, 2017

My Heart is Yours

I knew I loved you
Long before you knew
When my heart broke
I still stayed true
You were my dream
My only hope
When I'd sleep
You'd hold me close
At least while I was dreaming
I was never able to be
Anything but yours
A chain of love
Held me tight inside
You were all my mind could see
And you still are
The one I love
And always will
Because I can
Because my soul
Sought more than I could know
And here I am an old man
With an old heart
Ready still
For your love to heal
Ready



Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Good Morning Afterlife


This life is not a play
Not a masquerade
We are awake
But not aware
We are flesh
Not sacred


We are clay
Yet we might ascend
We are forever bound 
If we are willing
Into the eternal



Paradise is a place
Without attachments
Without baggage
Without hate
Nor pain


There we will embrace
Every heart
Every soul that has suffered
And yet
Who has forgiven


Blessed are those who have chased
The knowledge of God
Of Heaven
Of the sacrifice
Of the spirit



Who are we to say
What heaven will be
Paradise is a concept
That doesn't fit
Into our mind



But never look away
Focus your eyes
And long for more
This world is not the end
There is that fire inside



No destiny, nor fate
Heaven is a promise
We can claim
Becoming gentle
And kind


Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Night of the Wolf

Folk of the towns
Tell stories about us
We hunt
We slaughter
Fathers and Mothers
Brothers and daughters
They both loathe
Our kind
And thrill to our being
They spread the fear
Spin webs of lies
Without knowing
The truth
About our disguise
We are neither wolf
Nor man
We are the children of the night
Obeying the call of the wild
Our tribe is innumerable
Uncounted in the dark
The humans despise
All that we are
And track us down
Not knowing the danger
We are unmoved by their rules
And respond only
To the anger
Inside of us
They know nothing
Not anything about us
There is no justice
For we cannot be
Anything but this
We are this way
Called to be hated
Given a curse
Not for anything we have done
We are punished
For the human deeds
We are worse
Than society's least
Kept in chains
We are alive
Born of the belly of the beast
We are the earth
Taking our vengeance
Upon the world before us
Humans have no excuse
They have brought this
Upon themselves
They have made this world
Savage
Worse than wild
Upon the birth of the fullest moon
The earth beneath is bright
It is a signal beacon
For our metamorphosis
We loose our lips
And respond with our howl
Preparing to feast
Upon the human horde
Their corpulence
Bringing the feeding
The howl comes from the depths
Of our viscera
Screaming out to the world
Our hatred of their hypocrisy
Their disease being worse
Than our lycanthropy

Monday, March 27, 2017

One to Fear

For my lifetime
I was one to fear
The depths of the abyss
I tried to become sinless
In an effort to become
More than I am
And I've begun
To see
How someone
Could become lonesome
In the knowledge
That it is easier
To do
Than to not do
When pleasure is the guide
And you are weak
All alone
without a reason
Other than some far off destiny
That you might not achieve
Fate is unkind
And the ultimate end
Does not equate with belief
But rather
Death
And the end of the question
When do I experience enough pain
Cancer
And stress
To give in
And sleep


Sunday, March 26, 2017

Hammer and Voice

When I am free
And travel to you
Please, lover of my soul
Do not tell me
When I arrive there
That you never knew me
Or that you don't care
You who made the heavens
Surely made my flaws
Perfectly
I've bled this flawed existence
Made mistakes
Went wrong
All along
All hope gone
But for one
To be your son
To bear your banner
To become useful
As your messenger
As your voice
To be your hammer
Also
When it has ended
I long to be
I have sought to be
Your redeemed


Saturday, March 25, 2017

Murderous War

The day was lost
Before it was wrought
But the day was but one
And the losses were many
The aftermath was bloody
And the battle was lost
Before it was fought
Before the final battle
The kings of the chamber
Had lost the war
They bore the fears of losing
Inside their hearts
Thereafter being  paralyzed
Within their souls
Nightmares
Within their minds
And there were scars
No healing could change
No fighting man could win
The war boiling inside
For such a war had a toll
All hope was left behind
Destroyed families
The fields burned
The land charred 
Too many dead friends
No,
This war was murder
From the start

Friday, March 24, 2017

The Beast Inside


The forgetful mind of humans
Is the enabler of the beast
Inside every man
Who wishes to punish
The ghosts inside
That he fears
He hates without remorse
Gathering those he hates
They who feast upon the weak
Are weeks from being
Gentle children
Who play
And the slaves of the empire
Are fodder for the oven
The burning black clouds
Churn upward every day




Who remembers the fallen
When the fallen are without defenders
Who will answer the call
To protect the world
From the beast that exists
In the heart of every man
The citizens of the empire in thrall
Of the leader's voice
Who had promised splendor
Instead hell on earth prevails
And only surrender
Will still the work
To burn the bodies
Of the dead
Victims of the empire
Who set the world
Afire



Thursday, March 23, 2017

decisions

because you decided
that I am not worth
the time you have spent
trying to make me be
more misguided
and fully cursed
my heart is bent
my soul is no longer free
because of you
my being is divided
and there is nothing worse
than missing the message sent
And you knew
deliverance 
was on the way
but life just had to make you pay


Wednesday, March 22, 2017

rambling



















my life dissected
tissues infection
     deep down
throughout
not much more to do
so I thought I should
write this to you 
the first time
you
called my name
I thought I was
losing my mind
because
I
     never thought
I
 would ever find
     someone who could
be inside
my heart
inside my
soul
kissing me
pushing me
into some kind of
ecstasy
you held tight
in the
places
where I hide
I am alone
but
the memories
keep me warm
and I
I am still high
from the thought
that
someone like
you had ever
ever
said let's go for a ride
with top down
in a rain storm
I
cannot lie
I felt like
nobody would understand
I'd cry
because I knew
I know
   my life
was
not wasted upon
foolish things
like games people
play instead
of love
instead
of being kind
genuine
and I
hope you are well
my life
is so much better
for the time
you gave me
for the future
I could be free
because
you allowed me to live
you were
someone so much
better than me
and you did
give me love
your touch
your kiss
led me to heaven
and I am never leaving
for I know what
I've been given

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

tangled

Broken and tangled
         my life in shambles
I waited for you
         but you weren't true
Did you picture us together
         loving the other forever
If you did, I can't say
         but I won't live another day
Because you lied
        I refuse to cry
I was hope filled
        my heart was killed
Now my life is bent
         and this world will end
Because you refuse to be
         one who redeems me
With love
Or anything
With anyone
With passionate care
      You don't listen
This isn't fair
The end has begun


Monday, March 20, 2017

words of fire

the words of fire are clear
live life fully and lust for truth
there is no dying without tears
be wise
yet enjoy your youth
breathe and live
learn to trust
you need to forgive
because in the end,
we all become dust
be bold, and brook no fear
allow no abuse
of your heart or mind
spend your youth
with generosity
live without cynicism
find knowledge
have curiosity
but most of all
learn to be patient
find wisdom


Sunday, March 19, 2017

Pax Arthur

The empire gave up
Without saying why
The emperor was calling
A cauldron of boiling rebellion
Roman Britain was ready to die
The throes of pain and fear
Allowed no hope
Only battle or death
The moment was ripe
Ready to be
Either catastrophic
Or miraculous
Prophets offered
No vision of the future
Though the world
Was ready for dying
And prophets
Predicted no savior
No matter the darkness
One man stood
And was welcomed
By myth and legend
Arthur
Son of Uther
Grabbed fate by the throat
And cast out the enemy
Pushed back the Saxons
No more oppression
Who had driven the Romans
From Albion
Under Arthur there was now
No more sorrow
No more skies blackened
By the smoke from the fires
Of raiders and Saxons
Arthur
King of the present
A promise to the future
Would destroy the chaos
As it should be
For there was only one
One with blood of Pendragon
Who was born to be
King forever
Arthur Rex
Eternus





Saturday, March 18, 2017

Folly

Consumed in wrath and pity
Crushed by worries of eternity
Waves of fear begin to bury my heart
Then this plague of sorrows
Promises to start
And to ever last
This die is cast

T'is folly to trust in fools
I drank the nectar of my youth
Woke to find tomorrow gone
Worse to know that you're wrong
Over and over I have cried
Stop this toxic suicide

But I can't tomorrow happened
And today hope's abandoned
Never follow dreams of a fool
Never believe a heart so cruel
Life and love are lost to me
I have fallen in misery

Ashes cover my burnt remains
And my folly begins again
For which there is no escape
There is only shame

Friday, March 17, 2017

Dear DNA Mom

As a child I longed for you
to hold me
As a young man I was angry
  that you could never see
Who I became
Or know my name
As a man, of growing age
   I miss what I could have known
By being yours
Once and forever
And what you could have shown me
But you left me
To be held by others
You took a knife and severed
All that I could have learned
All that I longed to be completed
Because you couldn't
Wouldn't
And I miss you
Despite never knowing you
Or ever seeing your face
And now
As a man who has seen more life
Than remains
I know how
It must have felt
To have a child
Who is going away
Out of your sight
Out of your reach
Who has become an age
Who will never feel the shame
Of the night
I was created
By the lust and rage
  And I cannot imagine
What you went through
But you
Helped create
Who I am
And ever will be
By your considerate act
Of never killing me
To save yourself
And your future
Because you knew that I was
Not simple flesh
Nor a tumor
I was life



Thursday, March 16, 2017

The path to living

This day I become immortal
My flesh will fall from the bones
I will walk the path of righteousness
There is no beginning point of a circle
My path will end up at the throne
The accuser's words will be libelous
This world is dying, its land infertile
But those who walk
And seek and find
Will be alive

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Far away in Elysium

There is no morning
Or midday, or night
There is no time piece,
No counting of seconds
Or minutes or hours
Elysium is the final place
Where we live in hope
And rest
Rather than be devoured
By the toll and cost of life
We lose the pain in our chest
We lose the pain of loss
And our beings are made of light
The nectar of the sweetest flower
With the most exquisite scent
Calls me from afar in the fields
As I return to my beloveds
To their voice
I am alive though not of flesh
I am given hope without worry
Without fears
Woven in love
I am in the thrall
I am here
Where there are no buildings
No walls
Just life eternal
Given by the merciful forgiveness
Of the one God
Who dwells in the sky
With enormous power
Creator of all things
We join him here
And never die



Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Not partners

I never understood the point of view
that led to your thinking
I was unworthy of your love
I was true
I never even dreamed
Of anyone but you
I never imagined
Giving all of myself
To someone who
Never thought once
I was a partner
Rather
I am the damned
In your eyes I am staff
A member of your harem
Never being thought
Equal
Always tearing
Me apart
Always crushing
My heart
Why did I ever start
Believing
When there was never
Anything returning
An echo that was silent
Just release me
You never needed me



Monday, March 13, 2017

The cost of wisdom


I walked this world
Aware of its wounds
My soul forsaken
By knowledge
Of the truth
I waited in time
To recover from my walk
But the wounds kept bleeding
My flesh strong
But not my soul inside
Thoughts keep screaming
Asking me again
And again
How much better it would be
To be alive
Rather than this waking death
And ongoing suicide

The raven himself is hoarse
That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan
Under my battlements.

William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Sunday, March 12, 2017

to grieve a life

silence
is the loudest sound
body broken
eyes averted
stares
leading up
spiraling
down
sorrow
inexhaustible
hope
absolutely gone
deeply fearing
grieving
unknown loss
life long wounds
never healing
burning flesh
pain searing
why exist
why survive
when there is only
wounds and
time







Saturday, March 11, 2017

Odin sends the shield maidens


From across the horizon
Sitting in his palace
Odin watches the world
From his throne
In high Asgard and Valhalla
Given the secrets of men
From Thought and Memory
The two ravens who are his friends
He knows the hearts of warriors
Fighting for their land
The villanous hearts, he sees too
The battles are ongoing
And many are damned
Not distinguishing
Between the good and evil
Death is generous
He'll take them all
Knowing as any warriors do
Death is around the corner
Each of them tries
To cheat the Valkyries
They are valorous
Still, many fall
They die regardless
And when they do
The glimmer they see
Just before the dying breath
Are the shield maidens sent
From above
Seeing the valkyries
Taking them home
Each mumbles a prayer
Calling to Odin
For grace and mercy
Or his fire in their veins

Friday, March 10, 2017

Duel

To you it is a duel
One against one
You say no
I go
When you say stop
I slow
Because I don't want a fight
Love should be a lot easier
Than this 
You confuse me
Call me a fool
This isn't a game
Damn it,
      My heart isn't made for this
I feel many things, sorrow and shame
Confusion and fear
In the end
I wonder
Why do I bother
I don't care who is to blame
This is waste of time
Yours and mine


Thursday, March 9, 2017

The Judgment

Far away is a place
Where the human heart
Is measured
Eternity and reality embrace
And our lives come into balance
Flesh and Spirit are held
Over fire
When the results are known
There is no shame
No elation
The heart that is weighed
The end has come
The flesh decays
The mind is a liar
It doesn't know the truth
No, it never does
But the soul inside
Always knows
Between evil and good



Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Fly, refuse to crawl

Fall before your ego
Lay down your fears
Now
Believe in more
Abandon your tears
You must go on forever
You must believe
You are eternal
You are beautiful
And deserve
All the joy you receive
Kill the ghost
That haunts
Let no one deceive you
You are unique
Vital and talented
I speak the truth
Lay down your fears
They are simply chains
Holding you down
Upon the ground
Rather than flying
In the magnificent sky


Tuesday, March 7, 2017

madness


the corners removed
the walls padded
my mind filled
with drugs to
calm me
to steal from me
my dreams
and sleep
a mask to cover
so that my mouth
cannot scream
a blanket
that ties behind
my body
so that I cannot
harm me
drugs fed
to place a hex
medicines injected
and I wonder
what is this
world
going to do
next



Monday, March 6, 2017

Fool's rant

I am such a fool
I don't know why
But if I think of you
I begin to cry
I thought that I knew
My weakness
Is the truth
I can't keep secrets
For me Love is a sickness
I have a hole where my soul was
I lost my heart, love has no laws
I surrender, give you control
This love has taken a toll
The cost is huge
My pain is real, I lost
Now I'm alone
It left me crushed
I have no home
The reality has a cost
My hope is dust
And yet
I go on


Sunday, March 5, 2017

Ecstasy's Kiss

In my sleep I dreamt
A heavenly place
Echoing in jasmine scent
Beautiful mercy
Sublime grace
Awakening
In the mid morning
Exhausted from the labors
Of the day before
I open my eyes
Gazing upon this world
Looking around
I play demure
As I see
Last night's footprints
And in the shadows
My fire within
Alone walking
Beneath the moon's shine
All alone beneath midnight sky
I fell to sleep in a trance
In the tall grass meadows
I woke hours laters
Laying with a beautiful person
A fae
Nearly naked
But innocent
So precious and perfect
I felt no shame
The world comes alive
When lovers entwine
Engaged in embrace
Where can I go now
That I've tasted this
How can I live
After ecstasy's kiss




Saturday, March 4, 2017

My confession

Over and over
I confess
My heart is crushed
Bleeding and red
Hidden behind an abscess
I have nothing left inside
But the insanity
I am obsessed
Hidden behind a mask
My eyes the sole entry point
Behold the stories
Generously shared with you
I am unwilling to be broken
For your enjoyment
Not any more
That is something
You must never ask
No matter your viewpoint
I promise to be true
I will speak the words unspoken
No matter what you are asking
I promise not to say I love you
Unless you force it out
By looking
By passing  by



Friday, March 3, 2017

she is light

songs about her
whisper upon the wind
she gazes upon the sun
seizing chance
she is born with brand new skin
when she breathes, it has begun
sun's light poured through stained glass

we are awakening
from the cold
the sun so beautiful
the colors so bold

her smiles awakens the day
turning the day into a kaleidoscope
colors spray at last
because we're pawns in a game
black and white caricatures frozen
Forever in the form we are cast

tell us we are awakening
bring us in from the cold
let us find the sun to be beautiful
let the colors be bold


Thursday, March 2, 2017

Time is up

The end approaches
Running out of time
The portal is open
Lives broken
The wine poured out

We knew this was happening
The signs and portents easily seen
No fear of the unknown
We are drunk
Upon our doubts


Above in the sky are the locusts
Upon the ground fire
Chased by hounds
Unleashed and hungry
The riders have come

Pestilence
War
Famine
Death
They are named


The victims have long known
Time was short
Their lives in jeopardy
They had plenty of warnings
There was no treachery

The world is dead
The funeral is ongoing
We are forsaken
Drunk upon fear
Wrath overflowing