Tuesday, March 31, 2015

I can't fix what others have done, but I can love you

Spring mist and gray
Spent my day walking
Through the burnt fields
I didn't make any breakthroughs
Instead I am covered in mud
Blackened from last autumn's burn
I still know what you are going to do
Going away won't make it right
My heart is bursting with tears
With sadness pouring down
I am becoming slowly more paralyzed
Knowing and grieving as the day nears
That day when you go away for good
I can't bear the sorrow alone
But you have no way of knowing what is my heart
I want you to stay but I can't make you do that
So instead I will watch you go, will burn inside and know
I will never see you again no matter how it breaks me
Walking home through the mud
The birds fly over head maybe they have a portent for me
They seem to say you are leaving but that is something I knew

(Public domain image)

Monday, March 30, 2015

Ares will be redeemed

Many saw the signs but never knew
They saw the portents
But didn't connect the relationships
However much they existed
The Greeks and allies alike
Ignorantly supped upon the hubris
That was their belief in their agency
In their greatness forgetting
The reasons for their ascent
Had they looked into the sea
Had they seen their reflection
They would have been amazed
To see their great hungers
For pleasures
For vanity
For treasures
The flesh, the vanity, and riches
Had accompanied their ascent
So high above any other people
Upon the earth before or nearly after
From that high place they fell
And the day of rebellion came
Grace became disgrace
There was no gradual abandon
The revolt was a lightning strike
At once a shock
Gorgeous and destructive
As well as impermanent
The world we looked upon
As our own to watch
Had now grown out of our control
Only I was willing to slay them
Our human children
The moment they stopped worship
At the holy foot of Mount Olympus
For now, they deigned to mock their gods
They fell from their devotion
They lost their fervent ways
They offered no sacrifice
They had lost their faith
Father Zeus and my mother Hera
Never knew the depths of my rage
Aphrodite could soothe it
Even the worst of the pangs
But that rage boiled inside
It laid waste to my mind
It led to my destruction
With my sons Phobos and Deimos
And my beloved daughter Adrestia
My friends Nemesis and Nike
Always by my side
The dishonor accorded to us
By the acts of the Greeks
Would be avenged
The lack of fidelity to their faith
Would be cleansed
By blood
None should wonder
Why men love war
It is redemptive
It is an answer
To every question
And when the last human passes
The descent has ended
And the cycle will renew

Sunday, March 29, 2015

The Depth of Darkness

In the depths
Of this darkness
With all of the misery
None of the majesty
All of the hopes crushed
Your memories are erased
But for one kind
No joy or happiness
But the tragedies are untouched
The voices inside your head
Whisper to you about a dream
That is no longer there
You shrug your shoulders
Wonder why
Then walk away
And now
When you are unable to care
And love or hate do not exist
Inside your chest beats a heart
That has frozen
Perhaps because it has broken
The ice inside your veins
Has slowed you
Your beating heart moves
But just barely
No answers to your question why
You are so depressed
You can only wonder
Where did your life go
Why did this happen
How did it die
Who knows now
It doesn't matter
There is no answer
Only questions
And nothing to solve
The mysteries
Of the darkness

Saturday, March 28, 2015

The Clouds might obscure the sun, but it still shines

Led by my fears
Rather than my joy
Brought my tears
And crushed
This little boy
So I resolved to change
I would linger
In each moment
Of love and loving
Instead of rushing
Through the time
If I am upon the stage
I would give every line
Every action my focus
Until the curtain would fall
Time has its own cost
Its own torment
We all pay it
So why should I rush
Actors play their parts
The curtain will fall when ready
So why not let the moment
Be what it is
Let me linger in the love
Of the ones who
I might never see
Ever again
In this life
Clouds obscure the sun
But the sun is still there
I won't assume the gray
Is permanent
Nor assume
It is there to plague me
Like always

Friday, March 27, 2015

From the Darkness I was Condemned

I was a slave
To the world
A slave in the pits
From the darkness
I was condemned
My heart would implode
From the grieving
For my loss
Still no difference
From here to then
But time has not slowed
I screamed again and again
No one stopped to save me
They were grieving too
Insular and wounded
We bleed alone
With no redemption
We bleed alone
With no hope
We bleed alone
We are held
And given the promise
That we will no longer
Be broken
Our hearts will again
Be soft and open
Covered in the blood
Of the perfect lamb
Let the gates be opened
Let my heart be opened
And then welcome the flood

Sunday, March 22, 2015


I saw a photo in an album
Of you in a moment
Your spirit alight
Your heart unguarded
I remembered it
The time
The voice
The gleam in your eye
Now with you gone
Every moment seems so wasted
That you could be so far away
Never to return, it burns
I miss you, and horror
Is my reaction of you being gone
Since I can't reach you now
Forever I'll miss you
Your leaving still leaves me
I will never again be whole
Your memory is burned
In my heart
And I can never unlearn
The things you taught me
Because they came from
Deep inside your soul

Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Riverman Charon

To some it is a forbidden dream
The end
But it needs to be dreamt
Or the passage won't happen
Some are surprised
Some are not ready
While others carry in their robes
Or purse

The toll cost in coin
It is not much
Because should you die
You must be prepared
And have coins for your eyes
Being covered
As payment
For the boat ride
Charon will guide you
Across the rivers
Of the realms
Of Hades
Some fear the passage
Some refuse to accept
That the end will happen
It surely does to all
Regardless of wealth
Of hope, Of status
In the living existence
Charon carries them
Smoothly over the waters
To their next station
To the realms
Where they will wait
Until judgment
And next destination
Wherever that may be

Monday, March 16, 2015

Every debt is paid, Be ready for Forever

Many think they've found paradise
with luxury, pleasure and treasures
They fool themselves day after day
But the truth would leave them undone
With broken, screaming, hearts bleeding
their minds, unbelieving, going numb
And to then enjoy their riches
They sought the pleasures of the flesh

When faced with my own dilemma
I learned the truth, a lesson in love
People want to be King of this world
While those who seek the truth
Are shunned
Most spend all of their days waiting
Counting debts and sums
That could have been me

I've been living for the one
Morning is here and the Son is shining
The new day is begun and He is brilliant
And more glorious
Than one thousand suns
His work is done
And I am ready
For the ever

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Dreaming my escape from this fetid world

I dream of her
Pray to her
Ask her to 
Redeem my belief
Forgive me of my doubt
I wait for her to rescue me
From this vapid, empty world
Fetid and bestial
All my fault
Fecund and foul it leeches
Every ounce of me comes out
Bleeding and restless
My flesh spat out
My being even hurled
Into the sun
Burning my memories
Of the one
I dream of her
She is the only
Saving grace
Showed me mercy
In the fire
Soothes my heart
Calms my desire
I dream of her
And no one else
I sleep in fetal curl
To save my self
Good night again
Good night

Friday, March 6, 2015

I hear you yelling, but

Over there
On the hill
Oh I can see you
You are shouting
But I can't tell
What you're saying
Are asking for help
Are you telling me
To go ahead and die
Are you saying you love me
or is it that you hate me now
And you refuse to lie
Mixed signals
Mixed emotions
Smoke signals
Wind blown smoke
I can't cope
With everything
Turning into something
Emotions exploding
Like some big explosion
Worse than atom bombs
I can't see from all the smoke
And all the blame
From all the wrongs
I give up
I give in
It doesn't matter

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Curtain rise, actors act

My heart never took directions well
But I should have listened
And in the absence
I've been in form of hell
Within my silent mind
Waiting for you to call
To speak or yell
Anything to tell me
What you think
I am weak
A fool
Easily distracted
Tell me again
I missed my cue
I miss you
More than anything
I can imagine
And my imagination
Is quite large
Let me be recast
As the actor
In your play
I am begging
For one last chance