Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Break my Chains, Lord I Sing

As a child I never
Ever had an issue
The sorrows of life
Tore from me
Wounded me
Stole from me
The joys of my salvation
I went through grieving
I remember then
But now
I believe without guile
Allow my heart
To sup upon joy
I enter this den
Of the dreams so wild
Untamed freedoms start
A man returns to boy
You free my spirit
You free my being
I sing to heaven
Can't you hear it
I am free again
Just as before
Oh my heart is beating
It keeps repeating
The song that never ends
I praise you

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The Completed Puzzle

“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I see the future
In her
I remember the past
With her
I am ready to be
I smell the perfume
and I know her scent
I hear her voice
and my heart skips a beat
She comes in the room
My spirit enters ascent
She leaves me no choice
and I know I am complete
I surrender
I give in
Give you my heart
You hugged
The child within me
You loved
From the beginning
So let's start
Being free together
In our lives forever
From this point on

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.”  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Monday, April 27, 2015

Sacrificial dreams

Beginning my journey
My way was so hard
And my path so difficult to see
I sought the truth
While I walked the path
I grew exhausted
And my flesh
Was so very weak
The burning fires
The sacrifices
The wooden pyres
All the rising smoke
From burnt dreams
Lost futures and fools
Like me who never see
I spent my life living upon hope
Falling into a pit of despair
Because I knew
A certain kind of the truth
But not another and hope is a liar
I knew there was nothing here
Temporal, in the present world
That I should expect
Nothing was ever promised
But to be born, and to live
And to die
Eventually my proof
In the moment of truth
I would choke
Push back the bitter tears
Of those broken dreams
That never lived
I shall surely die

My flesh is weak
Truth is hope too
This life is far too short for some
For others, far too long
But the promise of forever is strong
My spirit is eternal
And I have that for the beyond

“Whatever you do, make it an offering to me -- the food you eat, the sacrifices you make, the help you give, even your suffering.”  Bhagavad Gita

"The tyrant dies and his rule is over; the martyr dies and his rule begins."   Søren Kierkegaard

Sunday, April 26, 2015

White Swan

I have only to see her 
Gliding across the surface
In that moment 
I am spellbound by her grace
She has stolen my heart 
By her face 
Her gentleness and beauty
And eyes so large
Move me in ways
I am unable to explain
While the words escape 
My heart grows towards her
Her movements are liquid
Her being is poetic
And it crushes me
My tears begin to swell in my eyes
Because her graceful movements are pure
And I have nothing to offer but praise
And that is not enough
To show her
Words always fail
Always in the moment
It is not enough to express
Never enough to show my heart

Thursday, April 23, 2015

A brief interlude with thoughts, Shakespeare, pics, and comments.

Sometimes I get tired of people not understanding why I try.  Being called TOO sensitive, or TOO dark, or TOO much this or too much that... gets to be too much.  So I thought I'd explain some things, using a wee bit of an example from a great author, about his darkest character, and life.  

God bless you all, enjoy life, or if you have other plans, don't.

The Play Hamlet 

Borrowed from Wikipedia "The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, often shortened to Hamlet (/ˈhæmlɪt/), is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare at an uncertain date between 1599 and 1602. Set in the Kingdom of Denmark, the play dramatises the revenge Prince Hamlet is instructed to enact on his uncle Claudius. Claudius had murdered his own brother, Hamlet's father King Hamlet, and subsequently seized the throne, marrying his deceased brother's widow, Hamlet's mother Gertrude."


To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

William Shakespeare

The problem, after all with sleep, is that we might dream.  If we might dream we might aspire to dreams. If we aspire to dreams, we might try and end up failing. If you try you might fail, and if you fail that might lead to pain and sorrow.  No, it is better, isn't it, to never try.  Better to never live, never try, never breathe, or you might experience pain. This world is too hard, and the pain of it leads us to more pain.  Every path leads to pain.  Who wants that?  

I am being sarcastic. But the truth is, life is pain. And with pain being a constant, how do we address going on, in spite of the sorrow and grieving we face.  I am told all the time that I am too dark, and that I am looking at the ass end of life.  But that isn't true.  I think people do too much avoiding of the truth, and I think the truth is hard.  So, others avoid it, some deny it, some face it, and I talk about it, perhaps a lot.  

I think we have to try.  I think we have to be courageous.  And I think that means, in the heart of the storm, when it is dark, perhaps calm but deathly quiet before the final blow, we have to be persistent, and never stop trying, or we will be pulled into a vacuum of failure. I believe that Hamlet is wonderful because while he had much to dwell upon, he was rightly grieved.  How many people pay enough mental and moral attention to the world around us?  I met someone who was an active member in a couple famous environmental activist organizations, and he confessed, while being a bit drunk, that he was in them mostly to "bang hot flannel wearin' chicks".  I said, but you do good works along the way?  He said yeah, I guess.

I am not saying everyone is like that, thank God they are not.  But, I see this world, and think, we could lose everything and there are people who'd think, better luck next time.

But, my question, then, is if we blow this opportunity, if we lose this world, are we going to get another?  I don't think we will.

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?"

Sunday, April 19, 2015

I long for you

"Let her kiss me with the kisses of her mouth--
for your love is more delightful than wine."
paraphrased from  Song of Solomon 1:2

My love for you is endless
My love, my lover
In the quiet of the darkness
Of this night, so very long
My dreams are not enough
In my bed you are my temptress
But for reasons that do not matter
Tonight I am alone
And the night is just a song
How I long for you
I desire your presence
In more than just my bed
I miss you so deeply
Your lips, your kisses
Heal me from the day
You pursue me with love
That is relentless
And I love for
All you are
Divided for now
But only by flesh
We will be
Together as one
I long for you
Forever I will
From my first breath
To my final
My love remains still

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Colorblind Colorful World

The modern world in which I live
Has many choices that are false
It emphasizes the outside look
While ignoring the being inside
Adoring the flower,
Ignoring the root
I am more than my flesh
You are more
Than what I can see
We are excited by the storm
While hating the destruction
We are confused
My skin color is a blank slate
I can color it with sun burns
With ink or paint
And it means not one thing
My soul remains
The same color
As every other
Because the one
Who made me
Chose to do things
That way
Such a diverse array
Of choices
To broaden my thoughts
To color my heart
With love
To strengthen my soul
With dreams
That are colorblind
I praise my maker
I praise the one
Who saw every color
And made us to see
That the soul inside
Is colorblind
When he brings justice
And when he redeems

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Crows Perform Their Own Mass

They've performed for the only one
That understands their obedience
Celebrating life for its own sake
Before the nightmare is begun
They conduct their own mass
Looking down from above
They stare blankly at it
A scar upon a land
It used to be fertile
It used to give life
But not now
It has become curse
A mechanical place
Gears and steel moving
Grinding and humming machines
In the midst of the desolation
A patch of green and overgrown grass
Ill kept and ignored by those it serves
But nothing lasts
Vandals or fools or unknown event
Causing devastation to the past
Tombstones pushed over
Desecrating the last sanctuary
Of the dead
Crows fly over
Hover above the cemetery
They remember
The darkest clouds
That a soul could perceive
Followed by the blackest night
The heavens have ever produced
The thunder rolling across the sky
The lightning crying out for vengeance
Every strike destroying someone's fear
Every crash of thunder
Shattering a dream
The tears of the night
The night gives birth to the day
Bleeding out the sorrows
Of our world
Inside out
Our world is flayed
Lost to our fears
Flooded in tears

Monday, April 13, 2015

Yes, You move me

You told me not to believe
And I acquiesced
For a short while
I let my hormones rule
But I was empty
After a short run
What is the point of love
Without hope
What is the point of being
Without dreams
Why be together
If all you want is sex
To me that is rather bestial
And not how I behave
Love is so much more complex
I don't understand
Why I accepted what you said
Why I acquiesced
Why I chose to be less
But I know that love is what I want
And after I reflect
If it isn't here
With all due respect
I'll be going
No matter how much
Your beauty moves me
No matter if you are in my dreams
If I am not going to love
I'd rather have nothing

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Bones and lies, do not define me

What evidence can I present
That will prove my reasons
I was honest and trustworthy
I never lied, I was honorable
I did not commit treason

Still you disbelieve
You crush my body
You slander my name
Destroy my memories
Bring my house shame

Because of you I am lost
Cast into the emptied waste
Forced to suffer hunger
Forced from my lands
But I will not relent

Every choice you make
To separate me from my kin
Strengthens my resolve
And those who know me
Never questioned my honor

They never wondered
If your lies were true
So you have failed
And when my time is ripe
This ghost of the wasteland will strike

Friday, April 10, 2015

Go ahead and grieve

Grieve the loss
Of what you paid dearly to keep
But realize it was never forever
Sorrow the tomorrows you will never have
But know that, this world is temporary
The way of eternity
Is not the same
As this world
We only see the living world
And do not understand
The impermanence
Everything that has always lived
Cannot die
For the soul inside
Has always lived
And remains alive
In heaven

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

False King upon an Empty Throne

I might be a king
Of all I survey
I have nothing
To rule
I have
No land
No power
No castle
No people
I am alone
In my room
Knowing this
The joke is upon me
I might as well
Be dead
I can never
Accept what was done
What was said
Deeper and darker
Than any ocean depths
My soul cannot escape
The complete absence
Of light in the eyes
Which mirror
The soul
An empty hole
Vapid and sucking down
When I sit
High above it all
I look out
Over my false kingdom
And know my throne
My world
Are empty
My crown is a lobotomy
Ice picks for my eyes
And I've learned to despise
Every moment
Of breathing
I rule over nothing
I wear a crown
To symbolize
My greatness
And I am a fool
A idiot
A beggar
To ever have thought
I mattered
When just one
Ever did

Tuesday, April 7, 2015


1942: Stjepan Filipovic

He was not unusual
Just one of many
Freedom fighters
Defending his land
Who was captured
By an invader
Who had demanded
Complete obedience
To their occupation
Wearing a crooked cross
Upon their shoulders
Thinking nothing
Of complete extermination
Brutal domination
Of what and who
They considered to be
The lesser man
And used every method
Including murder
To defeat the people
This one who resisted
Took his death
By hanging
As an opportunity
To defy the invader
Shouting with pride
Death to Fascism
Freedom to the People

Monday, April 6, 2015

Light within that Darkness

You called my name in the night
And I heard you
Very clearly
I answered without a thought
For I love you
You are dear to me
Let thine darkness be wrought
For I accept it
Let thine light be abundant
For I can see

I am only a child in your arms
I am ancient beyond my years
The scars upon my body
Branded from the harm I suffered
And the tears
But now, that I am safe
I can see the sun
I know you are near
Hold me
That is all I desire from you
Know me
And I will be true
For the rest of my days

Sunday, April 5, 2015

My Savior

Under the sun his sweat
Co-mingles with blood
Pours from his wrists
Pain building 
Grows like a flood
Stings the pain 
From the sweat 
In the wounds
Burning reminders
That I am the reason
He hangs on that tree
I am the reason
He hangs there for me
The most perfect lamb
Offered up to die
Forgiveness comes
With blood
Of the lamb
And I am the one
I am the one
Who caused my lord
To be hung there
All the lies and sins
All my deeds
With his blood
Come undone

Friday, April 3, 2015

When They Killed The Son of God

The crown of thorns
Bleeding streams
Nailed to a cross made of wood
Stretched across the beams
 His arms supporting his body
His act healing humanity's fall
He would be misunderstood
By the Romans and the Jews
As the son of God
As the Prince of Peace
As the son of man
He committed no crime
But before the jury of elders
His innocence went unspoken
And in a crime of universal importance
He would be broken
While black clouds approached
Storms of rainfalling
He was broken
For the sins of many
The perfect lamb
Unblemished in any way
Sacrificed for all

Thursday, April 2, 2015

I can't act

I am doubtless
As to the miracle
But I am also not a fool
With my first breath
I began my physical decay
The fatal disease of life
The stage play
Where I am the actor
Without directions
Without a script
And I can't act
My performance
Will bring poor reviews
Of me
But what can I do
I can't act
I can only be
What I was born for
To be me

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Published on another site

The new site Cacofony published a poem I wrote

My Need for Nothing

Please go look, comment, enjoy the site.