Tuesday, October 31, 2017

I am her knight




















Called into audience
She is enthroned as is right
I am nothing but loyal
As I am her knight
She is my queen
Forever I'll fight
Should any come between
We are a single body
Joined by spirit
And love
If not blood
Her hair is auburn
Her form is perfect Zen
I am at one with the world
When I see her I cannot sin
The scent of heather
The gentle wind
The vision of heaven
The fire within
When I see her
I know who I am
My world is alive
When she enters view
I know her soul
I am renewed
She is far from me now
But she will return
I know her soul's name
And I have learned
We belong to each other


Monday, October 30, 2017

Absence

The world outside for a feeling child
Would be and was impossibly hard
I felt everything and each thing felt like a disaster

Every bad thing felt like it happened to me
But you held my hand during my catastrophe
I am broken still by your absence
You gave me strength by your presence
And now my time is spent alone
And my home
Is empty

All my bad habits
All my fears and dislikes
Grow without your help
And I have nowhere to go
I miss you like
I never thought I could
And I know life is good

But I miss you
In every day I spend here
Without you near
And I don't know
How to go forward
Even if I pray
Even now
5 years on
Your loss
Is a cost
I can never pay

You being gone
Taxes my soul
And your loss
Leaves me unwhole
Every breath hurts
Every thought burns
And I don't want
to keep going
...
without you still
in my life


Sunday, October 29, 2017

Beneath a veneer of brokenness

I have a veneer
it keeps others away
A sort of brokenness
And quiet
Walking in a field
I feel your presence
You come near
And I am alive
When my heart is still
I go to a secret place
And find you there
You fill my cup
With ever flowing wine
In the moment's silence
We enter a space
Of infinite trust
This heart is sincere
You are upon my mind
In the forefront my being
I call your name
There I pray
Longing to be embraced
When in your love
The world disappears
I long to be with you
Forever and more
You stir me to the core
My heart is reclaimed
And I am made new
My sorrow is redeemed
As you join in my dreams
And then you know, this is true


Saturday, October 28, 2017

Cloud of Dust

Walking through a cloud of dust
Late in the day, nearly dusk
So parched my throat wants to cry
Land and river beds dry
So I stop and kneel and say a prayer
And that moment I am fixated there
Turn my head and stare above
At the cloudburst of rain
It must be love
All of my days pass by
Like sand through my hand
I refuse to die
This life anything but planned
But I cannot deny
That I've been stranded
My path gone awry
Alone I await
Welcome the future
As time ticks
I remain au fait
While the final chime strikes
As this world
Is swallowed and destroyed
By the destiny, fate
And human pride


Friday, October 27, 2017

He Sleeps, He Dreams

He sleeps
Within his domain
Waiting to return
He sleeps
Dreaming insanely
Calling to his children
He dreams
Nothing that breathes
Is allowed to escape
His grasp
Walls of stone
Built by drones
Humans in form
But mindless
R'lyeh stands
The smell is rancid
The dead bodies float
Washing upon the sands
 Of the island of horror
R'lyeh
Home to Great one
Great Cthulhu sleeps
But he plans
He will return
And then his enemies
Will scream
Will flee
Will burn
Painfully


For further reading:



Thursday, October 26, 2017

The Wanderer of the Waste










Upon a dark horizon
A solitary figure appears
Dressed in white
His cloak flows in the wind
Gossamer thin the fabric
A cloud forms behind him
The wanderer walks silently
Across dry ground
Choked with dust
Rising
This figure is unmasked
Unlike the past
Now when you see a man
Without
You ask
Why does he approach
His countenance allows no clues
Shows no fear
He is emotionless
He walks with a purpose
 
















Ignoring the winds
His throat parched
But he lives
When so many others have not
His life offered righteously
To the hazards of the land
His walk is straight
Never wavering
His cloak spotlessly white
The broken roads of the past dynasties
Offers him a trail for his path
A dead world leaves skeletons
Burnt out homes
Destroyed cities
There is nothing left
But the broken lives
Broken treaties
And even more brutality
More hostility
This world is hostility
Where it once was noble
It is dangerous
And dying
















The world has barely survived
Most of it remains corrupted
Covered in human artifacts
Made of steel and concrete
The waters poisoned toxic
The air burns in the lungs
And the land bleeds
From the radiation
Humanity left behind
Without a thought inside
The wanderer doesn't flinch
This world is a nightmare, not a dream
Despite the horrors he walks
He sees the world before him
And keeps a journal
For all to read
If the world loses its memory
All was for naught
Perhaps that is appropriate
For this disaster
This catastrophe
Was purely human wrought

















The wanderer doesn't stop long
There is nothing to keep him
The world is a relic
Of a fallen empire
The dead still scream
Artifacts left behind offer a story
Without survivors no one can know
Just how accurate or not
The description can be
But the dead remember
Buried together
They remember everything















FOR FURTHER READING



Revelation 9:13-16  NIV

13 The sixth angel sounded his trumpet, and I heard a voice coming from the four horns of the golden altar that is before God. 14 It said to the sixth angel who had the trumpet, “Release the four angels who are bound at the great river Euphrates.” 15 And the four angels who had been kept ready for this very hour and day and month and year were released to kill a third of mankind. 16 The number of the mounted troops was twice ten thousand times ten thousand. I heard their number.


Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Damnation

When the end comes
Humans will be ignorant
For it will come
With stealth
With shadows
No one escapes
It will be too late
And when the ignorant
Speak about it
They will laugh
It won't be understood
Despite the urgent screams
Just as with Kierkegaard's clown
The warnings will seem like a drama
Put on for the world
We marvel at our cleverness
Our technologies will be held high
Even worshiped
While the decay of civilization
Moves at the speed of light
Why be concerned?
We can simply click delete
Reboot
And nothing will happen
AI hovers upon the periphery
Waiting for the chance
To replace humankind
Cloning is a life
Regardless of the origins
Nuclear war seems a solution
When all it is, is indiscriminate slaughter
We live hoping to be wealthy
We desire pleasure
But before we die
We seek absolution
But no one remains
Moral enough
To clean the sins
To remove the sorrow
From the face
Knowing that life has come
And now is gone
Extinguished like the flames
Of a candle
And soon, we will not even know
Where the future went
Strangled
By our desires
Our shallow lust
Our bodies will expire
So very cold
Frozen in fear
And in grieving



“A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.”  Søren Kierkegaard

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Maria, Mother, Whore, Goddess

Anyone meeting her gaze
Tips the first domino
Her countenance so intense
She has a way to invade a brain
She knows her path, and how deep to go
Her beauty extravagant, her power immense
Loving her would drive any man insane
Pulls down the walls of Jericho
And overflows the senses

Nothing that lives is able to flee
In time to save the soul
No one who has met her is still alive
Death is but one way that she controls

She enters the circle
And commands the room
All stare in horror
Her affect upon others is visceral
Empty of kindness, empty of womb
She is terror, her hunger is slaughter
With a look she is able to enthrall
Sending men to their doom
For she is an unholy terror

She is perfect
Many seek to know her name
But all know her fame
Holding others in contempt
She is a queen of sin
Babylon the Great
The Mother of Prostitutes
And Abominations of the Earth
The living curse


She is the enemy
Of the hearts of all
She is corruption
Her gaze is damnation
America longs to hold her

But the embrace will not last
For she isn't interested in love
Nor does she care for lust
She desires the chance to lure
To cause distrust
She desires a chance
To cause destruction


Revelation 17:1-18

Monday, October 23, 2017

Dissected Soul

My heart suffocated
From lack of affection
My soul was extricated
By means of dissection

My flesh is cold
From the bleeding
My happiness sold
From the leeches feeding

This life was never yours
Stand back, you evil whores
Sucking out my final breath
No condemnation of my flesh

The demons within will resist
Living within my abyss
I follow no orders but my own
Will continue so
               until dust covers my bones


Sunday, October 22, 2017

Never Camelot

It was never Camelot
But I had hopes
Instead I was caught
Dreaming again
When I broke
You laughed
My soul punished
For the thought
I could be alive
And in love
This suit of armor
Cold steel wrought
Rusted
And then
You said we could be more
And laughed again
You weren't to be trusted
Again
My heart tied in knots
You couldn't see me
Through the haze of your ego
Burning inside
Hurts more than cyanide
If only I had simply lusted
But no
My heart was sacrificed
For another person's entertainment
Fuck the nuance
The disdain and contempt for me
Was flagrant
And now I spin wildly
As I escape
Orbit



Saturday, October 21, 2017

DIE ALREADY

Trapped in the isolation ward
Kept prisoner since the desolation war
Every freedom extinguished
The dreams are finished
We have no path to redemption
Only damnation
Only castration
We are the disease
We are the pestilence
The Four Horsemen never need ride
For this world
Has committed suicide
Never knowing for a moment
Not even a second
We've swallowed the cyanide
And we are about to go through the torment
That life requires
When we
DIE


Friday, October 20, 2017

Your Labors Save Us

For our family you leave every night
Get on the line and go and fight
Against the dragons who wait
For you to kill them and twist fate
Your clothes black with dirt
And sweat stained
When you return home again





Never lose your way
Never give in to fear
I'll love you no matter
I'll wipe away the tears

You work all night can't sleep in the day
Getting paid the same as an indentured slave
Your body used, wet with sweat
For the dollar to pay the rent
But you deserve so much more
Than getting used and getting bored



Never lose your way
Never give in to fear
I'll love you no matter
I'll wipe away the tears


I miss you when you're gone so long
Your body broken, your dreams gone
There is so little reward and so much regret
No cards or letters, just bills are sent
What you are doing isn't wrong but
You're not a drone working night to dawn



Never lose your way
Never give in to fear
I'll love you no matter
I'll wipe away the tears


Thursday, October 19, 2017

Imagine the exquisite

Now that you've gone
I still linger
In the exquisite scent
You leave me with
Inhaled into my lungs
You are my longing
This will only strengthen
Until we've begun
A dance of ascension
Together in rhythm
With your name upon my lips
I gaze deeply in the eyes
Until I slip
Back into my reality
Dreams are lies
No dancing
No kissing
No sweet vision
No scent to move me
I watched forever pass
Never acting
And now you have gone
Far far from here
I am now imprisoned
Forever for my indecision
Farewell my hopes
Farewell my dream
Be well and happy
Far
So far from me
Be happy
And dream of me


Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Blue

Oxygen depletion stealing my breath
Entreaties made, prayers heard
So confused can't see right or left
The lines of reality become blurred
The ice melts in a confluence of blue
The heat rises, the world burns
I can't breathe
My children die
There is no logic that works
This world is absurd
Extinction awaits
We fouled our destiny
Cheated fate
The world's messiah never came
The future is dead
Filled with hate


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Because of the choices

I don't know
How I can survive
I kept hoping
Dreaming it alive
Keeping possible
A different result
But every time
Every time I stop
I hear the voices
Creeping back
Deep inside
It is not a shock
because of the choices
I made
They still
Enslave me
Remake me
Tame me
Make me a lesser man
I'd pray to be redeemed
But there is nothing left
To make new
Only regrets
And false beliefs
I cannot undo


Monday, October 16, 2017

The Search


Camelot once was paradise
High above the problems
Other kingdoms experience
But now
After reaching the height of heavens
We've descended into hell
The people are dying
From hunger
From despair
The entire kingdom shudders
Unprepared, without hope
For the king has retreated
Hiding from the sun
A ghost in his manor 
With the blessing 
Our quest is begun
We are being sent
To help reclaim our land
For our king is ill from sorrow
And the land and he are one




















Without our lord
We shall suffer torment
Without our king
The future will be one of regret
Shall we endure life without living
Shall we suffer
Sin without chance of being forgiven?
We can repent
We can forget
But without our king
Our hearts will fail
Our spirits no longer sing
Our lord Arthur called for a quest
Truly a test
Of our endurance
We must find the chalice
A holy relic that is hidden
Beyond the fields we know
Beyond any door
It is more than finding
More than receiving
More than any dream
We cannot find it
Without purifying our spirit
We cannot find it by just believing
We must become holy
This search comes from inside
And ends with ascent
Will we ever find it
Save our king
As he turns pale
From his soul bleeding



















 
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The sweet vision of the Holy Grail
Drove me from all vainglories, rivalries,
And earthly heats that spring and sparkle out
Among us in the jousts, while women watch
Who wins, who falls; and waste the spiritual strength
Within us, better offered up to Heaven.


Sunday, October 15, 2017

Gone Away

I'd gone away
No need to worry
I was cared for
24 hours a day
My room was quite white
Lovely upon the eyes
Nothing but peaceful sleep
No need to ever lie
I slept most of the time
And performed drama as well
The others I met
Promised to meet me
When we ended up
In Hell



Saturday, October 14, 2017

You never know

You never know do you
Tell me if you read my mind
What was it that I was thinking
My heart is a clock that is ticking
Over and over again
I've called for you
My hopes drown, my heart is sinking
So don't try to say you know
Because you don't
You tell me it is end
But
It is the beginning
Because I have forever to spend
All that time
Alone
Thinking


Friday, October 13, 2017

Dead man

Hello dead man
I thought you'd gone
Your days were numbered
And the wait was long
Who called you from the grave
Who called you by your name
Hello dead man
Welcome back




















How many voices
Told you that life was good
How many choices
Did you make like you should
There is a certain shame
When hopes burn in flame
Hello dead man
Welcome home

What piper plays for you
Do you listen to his song
Hello dead man are you alive
Does it matter right or wrong
We all die just the same
And no one is to blame
Hello dead man
Farewell again

Thursday, October 12, 2017

I want to dance

To my sorrow I bid adieu
I regret that I have more to do
I want to dance with her
To melt together as one
To kiss her lips and neck
I want to hold her hips
Move slowly together
While we measure
How the other moves
I long for her
Willing to go slow
Because I know
Nothing easy is good
Nothing good is easy
I want something true
For now I might refuse my desire
While waiting to receive proof
Found when the world stops
And we become forever


Wednesday, October 11, 2017

With her fingers

With her thin fingers
She beckons to him
To come
But despite her entreaty
He feels distrust
Does not feel welcome
She looks at him
Knowing his resistance
Giggles and lures
With eyes of fire
It is begun
And the knight with armor
Encasing his body
This danger is not physical
And he now is undone
By desire
He becomes liar
To his oath
To be the one
To carry his cross
To lift high the flag
He is a prisoner now
Of his heart
And the fire inside
That cannot be extinguished
Nothing short of suicide
Remains
For this warrior
Moved with magical amour
Towards an ardent temptation
Leaving him nothing
But surrender
And defeat
And at last
Damnation



Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Black Haired Danes

They terrorized every neighbor they had
The Danes were destined to the sea
Never thinking in terms of good or bad
The world was there for their reaping

The world met with fear when the Danes appeared

The black haired Danes brought fire to the villages
Drove their ships upon the Saxon shores
The survivors watched in horror as witnesses
Their lands were burnt, the dead covered in gore




Monday, October 9, 2017

Aborted Sorrows

Long ago I forgave
The reason of my rage
It never mattered after that
Now he returns to mind
And I can't respond
Not even sure what I feel inside
My heart so often broken
Can't take more
The wait has been beyond my patience
I will say I forgive and choke upon
The tears of denial
Pray I can move forward
But pain and sorrow freeze me in place
I am grieving
A ghost
Ignoring the horrors
Of a life never meant
To be lived


Sunday, October 8, 2017

The Dream I Had

Evolving from waking to sleep
I become
A pirate on the coasts of Barbary
Becoming liquid and descending to the floor
Watching the parade of ghosts walking
The Walls of Mars tumbling down
I am slain for misleading the sheep
Shattering fear to the very core
Nude and shown to the crowd mocking
Flying above the burnt town, now gone
Changing my state like mercury
Coming undone
Metamorphosis happens as I dream

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one
who can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees the dawn
before the rest of the world.” Oscar Wilde

Saturday, October 7, 2017

First Born


My first born was stolen from me
My heart in astounding grief
The Royal Wife inconsolable
The Hebrews are indomitable
By the slave race this was caused
We ignored them and believed our gods
The Hebrews deserve to be scorned
By their leaders we were warned
Plagues across the Pharaoh's lands
Led to a curse when I rejected their demands
To be released
To be free
And now the cost is my first born
My soul and heart are torn
For every tear the Hebrews will pay
They are playing games
And they will surely lose
As I have lost and been abused

Friday, October 6, 2017

A Life of Conquest

We overcame dangers
Bestial and great
An empire was built
Upon the bones
Of a city of hills
From Rome's beginnings
We were never tamed
Forged in steel
Raised by a she-wolf
The founders built the state
Etruscans and others
Fell before the throne
Excellence was to be our legacy
The Romans allowed no failure
And the Republic rose
Uniting the people
From the tribe of Aeneid
Battle was in our nature
After millennia
We were ready to resume our ascendancy
Carthage, Gaul, the Levant
We were unmatched
Until the fall
And our deeds entered distant memory

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Ovens, Babi Yar and Vinnitsa















The scent of death is on the wind
Burning corpses in the ovens
None can mistake what is there
A malignant travesty faire
Some will say nothing happened
Others say it is a lie while laughing
The black crows who hunt the Jews
Never miss a chance to separate and choose
Gentile from Jew to satisfy the leaders
And occupy the butcher and cleaver
Shots fired in Babi Yar ravine
More fodder for the death machine
The world has become mute
To the tragedy
As the Einsatzgruppen shoots
The last Jew of Vinnitsa


Photograph copyright the http://www.ushmm.org/

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

The final act of the final drama

We cannot fight the final battle
It is not a war we can win
The end has been determined
Nor can we retreat into a great castle
For the battle is found within
Our hearts are ever burdened
We are the ones
Our own demons
Our own prison keepers
When we breathe our final breath
We learn the truth
Victory is found in death
We can rise
In our lives
Can be found our proof



Tuesday, October 3, 2017

My love, I have no secrets to keep

I've no secrets to keep
I've no dreams in my sleep
I've been so lost
In thoughts of time
And my memories burn so deep

I knew the present couldn't
Wouldn't last
I looked at our shared past
And become
So
So shaken
Trapped within the reaches

So many things that I've done
That have caused all that I love
To now come undone
And with that
What about our love
What about our future
Where does it go

I am not the one
To change anything
The past is burnt in place
Looking back makes me understand
It isn't the past we need to chase
It is the future
And now
And you are my hope
My dream
All I love
All I want
Forever amen


May she say to me...
Song of Solomon 1:2
"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is more delightful than wine."

Monday, October 2, 2017

Red Walls and the Dragon

We the slaves
We are insects
We belong to the hive
We have no queen
So we climb
The crimson red walls
For the dragon remains undefeated
We are slaves to his cruelty
Until we escape its reign
His domains so great
We are awed
By such evil truly
We are not alone
We agree
In full congruity
The demon dragon must die
And the crimson red walls
Must fall


Sunday, October 1, 2017

We belong

Part of the net
Woven like wires
But independent
Unquenched desires
Pornographic pleasures
Secret site of esoteric treasures
Addicted to leisures
Souls on fire
With addiction
Our beliefs dying
With our hopes falling
Like walls
Turn it off
Stop answering the call
Turn it off
Or forever be the slave
Of technocracy
Nothing left to say
Turn it off
Refuse to answer
The ever calling siren
Or be the slave
Forever thereafter