Saturday, December 31, 2011

Enter Eternity

Eternity exists regardless
If you believe or not
It remains

It is a snake swallowing its tail
Like life coming from death
The cycle goes on
Without fail

From stars life came
The Anunnaki and Nephilum
The seed of knowledge
From deepest wells
The water gave life

And we sit in judgment
Over whether eternity exists
When we haven't the least understanding
Of the depth of the abyss

Give in

I give in
Ennui rising
Acquiesce to the idea
Reckless emotion
That my days of purpose
Are dying
Determined devotion
Reviled corpus of work
Sick of trying
To get through this curse
I can't remember
My past a souvenir
I give in to despair
I flow with the motion
That what I do has no worth
The fire inside is reaching
A nadir of life
The dreams of living are dying
Far too much a burden
Far too much strife
I give in

Thursday, December 29, 2011


On my knees again
Regret is toxic
To forget is impossible
To forgive is righteous
Surrender is logical
Viewing the circumstance
I have no chance
But to give in
Give up
Take the chance
That I am in love
Enough to be
Bullet proof
Instead of wounded
And wrong

Traitor Time

However many there are
You must be selfish
Hold on for dear life
Seconds abuse you
They do not renew
You do not get the lost back
Find and keep all you may
The end is always in view
So don't give in
Don't give up
Or you will stumble
And be lost
Time will always betray

Decay and Abandon

Born by purpose
Used under its design
Decayed by its use
Abandoned by the minds
Who cannot restore life
Where none had been desired
Life never starts
Without hope and fire
Born of clay and fire
I rose from the muck
My life was fate
No such thing as luck
Insulted by the injuries
Nothing exists that wasn't perfect
Entropy claimed me
Spat me out as insecure
Decayed and abandoned
My shell was nothing but skin
But the fire that wounded me
Made the insides pure
Ignored and reviled
Running out of time and air
Will this shell be abandoned
Or will decay take me
And consume me in its lair

Watching me as I fall

Your sorrow breaks you
Watching me as I fall
My abject ambivalence
Dismayed you
My hopes were chained against a wall
Disappointed by my failures
You gave everything until the end
I disgraced the name
From the beginning
How could you account for it all
How could you take the pain instead
You are just one spirit
I am legion
Your wings were broken
By my weight
Rest and sleep
Don't let it take you
Like it took me without reason
Who am I to blame another
For the sins I committed
For the acts I played
I was the writer, director and actor
Upon my own stage


The sand
The wind blowing
Sky is nearly pure blue
The heat beyond endurance
The air so dry it hurts
To open my eyes and look
To see the view
Before me
I am entranced by the ways
The sand blows
Despite it not being alive
It moves
In patterns
Without purpose
But beautiful
The sand thrives
Under the mastery
Of the wind
With delicate hands

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

You feed me

I see the soaring seagulls
High above
Circling before coming down
To search for food
To sleep on the sands
But humans walk upon the shore
And the gulls lift upon winds
And I am aware then
That you feed me
I see children by the ocean
Stepping upon the sand
Running from the tide
As it crashes in
I taste the salt in the air
I feel the spray upon my face
I smell the ocean in its glory
I hear the cries of joy from the children
And God you feed me
You feed me
Every second spent
Outside of this moment
Is lost
For you are perfect
And your creation
Is beautiful

Saturday, December 24, 2011


Time flows but not like a river
Always moving
Inexorable but without aim
Simply filling every emptiness
It sweeps forward, backward
Inside and outside
Time is without our consent

Scrolls and tablets
Remember what men forget
Regrets and torments
of the killer torrents
Of the lost age
Of steel
Of the lost wisdoms
And learnings
Imagine the sorrows
Of a world erased
Civilizations rise
The water flows
The deluge grows
People die
As their world
Commits suicide
And time continues
To flow
To turn
To grow
To swirl

Ending the Day with Fire and Words

Deep into the enemy’s land
A party of scouts
Dispatched by the empire
In a clearing
Discuss the day around a bonfire
Sharply speaking about the way
The battle would unfold
Against the barbarian clans
The bonfire is comfort
The setting safe and secure
But the way of the warrior is flame
Once it raged now it licks at the edge
A staff is pulled back
The fire leaves blackened wood
From poking the fire the coals are still hot
The ash flutters upwards
The embers still burn
Despite the desire to extinguish it
Like an argument unsolved
Despite the lack of fuel
It still simmers
The warmth the fire provides, like the excitement
Of an intellectual debate and challenge
It is welcome
The danger of spreading, like the pain of insults
When reason is exhausted and intellect forgotten
It is feared
The fire goes on, simmers still
But in the warmth and flickering light
Deep into the night the party talks
About the future wars they’d fight
The battles they’d win
As one

Friday, December 23, 2011

Love can grow a new heart

If you let love break you
If your heart dies
If you no longer believe
That love is alive
That love is good
Your heart is dead
It doesn't return
Doesn't fly again
Doesn't soar
Doesn't hope again
It is dead
Fully turned cold
But if you believe
In love
And you are broken
A new heart grows
Replaces the old
Allows you to breathe
Allows you to be
If you believe
If you believe
Love will redeem

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Ice Storms and Dragon Breath

In the frozen north land
With ice covered castle walls
And great fields of snow
Dragons fly above unchallenged
Mostly ignoring the humans below
The people shrug in fear
But have no way to respond
Shivering in masses
Without control
Their tiny lives move on
Entering into the communal flow
Once a generation it seems
A champion with courage stands up
Chooses to confront the dragons
And free the land from the cruel hold
The dragons breath ice without effort
The knight and party often fail
For the end goal is worthy but impossible
Much like trying to stop the wind from blowing
The realm of the dragons is haunted
By statues of ice of previous men
Who tried and failed to defeat the dragon lords
And are now frozen to floor of the den
Castle walls are a comfort
But do nothing to stave off the fear
Of living in the clutch of evil
For what has been a millennium
Of horror filled frozen years

Monday, December 19, 2011

If You Told Me

This life I lead
Is killing me
Living in a hotel
Meant for migrants
Barely breathing
Only bleeding
You know I've been living
Someplace away from you
So we don't communicate
Like we'd like to do
I miss you
And hate this place
This freedom isn't free
It is a jail, and a chain
Holding me away
So if you said that you loved me
I'd be very overwhelmed
Flattered and moved
There is nothing I can do
There is a story I could tell
Of a love that was broken
Of a man compelled to fail, over and over
Like some token sad tale
But I appreciate your kindness
Thank you for caring
If you said that you loved me
Thank you for daring
Taking that risk
But I am a mess
I have nothing to offer
I'll have that drink now
The bottle is nearly empty, like my heart
Thanks but I don't want pity
These aren't tears
Don't you know, they are holy water
Cleansing my empty, vacant soul

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

extinguished like a cigarette

breathing in
filled with doubt
crushed my love
ashes to ashes
snuffed it out
like a cigarette butt
tears falling down
I can't help it
tears reach my lips in pout
now I know
eternal darkness
is raining down
upon me
the swirl of fear
the cesspool of loneliness
crushing me
tearing me apart
leaving me undone
breaking me
breaking my heart
eternal darkness
pouring down
it has begun
let the end

A Storm in the Desert

You blew threw my life
With ethereal grace
Leaving nothing behind
But your fragrance
And tears
Like a storm in the desert
Or a black cloud in plains
Memories coat my heart
Like a dust storm
Causing pain
I never will forget
I never will regret
Your presence in my life
Refreshed my soul
Like August heat
Quenched by ice
But now you are gone
And I remain

Sunday, December 11, 2011

It is Me

My desire is the flame
I caused the unholy fire
There are none to blame
But our own shames
If the angel of death
Azrael may kiss
It comes from within
Despite what we are told
Though the famed exist
In haunted memory
Hades watched over the realm of the dead
Pluto was King of the underworld
Lucifer was the accuser
His voice bled fire with a hiss
Satan was the impresario of sin
But they are not responsible
They exist but we created the place
Where our soul remains
We are the jailers
We are the makers of Sheol, Hell, the Abyss
We are the keepers of the gate
By our own greed
By our own betrayals
By our sins
By our hate

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Asleep, yet walking

Asleep but not
Awake but dreaming
Shattered mirrors
Scattered vision
I see her everywhere
She isn't here
But she haunts my sight
Though I see
Through the glare
Of the light of the fires
On eternity's walls
Her dancing
Asleep, yet walking
I approach
Dead, yet moving
I hear her talking
To God
But I don't understand their voices
Their words don't make sense
And then I realize
There is something blocking my view
Clouding my sight
And when I move to gain better access
There is only the fire
And my body
Shivering in the night

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Red Storm Bird

The winter was dry, despite the cold
But winds kept the living nearly frozen
But with or without snow
The wars went on
Crashing from the sky to above the plains below
The red storm birds hunted dragons
Who were made of steel and spit fire
The human toll was great between colliding forces
Trapped between the ire
Of fate and anger
Of hate and fear
The dire consequences of destiny
When titans clash
When enemies refuse to surrender
And death is the sole legacy

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Born with a dream
Rejecting the curse
I was never made for living
Upon this earth
I was a beast of burdens
Not of labor for men
But for the world beyond
This world is foregone
Forlorn and despondent
The world beyond
Is worthy of this strife
This world is flesh and clay
The next is God spark
And life

Monday, December 5, 2011

We Must Remember

We ought to remember
Never to forget the devastation
The retaliation and despair
We need to hold that
Tightly inside

We focus upon a single point and the distance from the present to the past flees
We ought to remember certain things, regardless of the horror
We need to be shocked and made to know what is truth
Through defeats or epic victories, we move

The darkness followed by light allows us to see the world displayed
In utterly disgusting detail, a world screaming in pain
From the war's rage

Tyrants and Democratic leaders
All are called upon to lead
War is rarely the correct answer
But it is chosen far more often
Than we need

The past is immutable
The events of it are complete
Despite interpretations
Regardless of what we read
Or are told
So find out for your self
The tragedies of the past

Winston Churchill “I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.' We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.”

Adolf Hitler “I want war. To me all means will be right. My motto is not "Don't, whatever you do, annoy the enemy." My motto is "Destroy him by all and any means." I am the one who will wage the war!”

Benito Mussolini “Better to live a day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.”

Hideki Tojo “The reason was the failure of both Japan and China to understand each other and the inability of America and the European powers to sympathize, without prejudice, with the peoples of East Asia.”

Josef Stalin “This war is not as in the past; whoever occupies a territory also imposes on it his own social system. Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach. It cannot be otherwise. If now there is not a communist government in Paris, this is only because Russia has not an army which can reach Paris in 1945.”

Franklin Delano Roosevelt “I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense, that always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people, in their righteous might, will win through to absolute victory.”

Saturday, December 3, 2011

White Out

Can't see to get through
When the white is so thick
It becomes dark
All the flakes become one
I am blinded anew
My soul has become so sick
Trying so hard
The race is begun
And I am left behind
In a cloud of white
I am failing
Horizon so far in the distance
Flailing at the obstacles
Cannot see to survive
Blinded due to white out
And her love
Leaves me in further doubt
That I should try
To continue
Let alone win
Or even die
Faithless praise
Blinded by the white
Becomes black
And cold

Friday, December 2, 2011

Death ain't so bad, its the stuff right before it...

I am uncertain why I worry about dying
There won't be pain
There won't be failures
There won't be money I don't have
That won't be made
In the grave
If I go to heaven
That is great
If I end up in hell
I'll burn like paper
I believe in annihilation
So the problem is
As I see it
On this earth
This existence
Is pain
So give me booze
Give me vicodin
Give me something
To get away
Pain is the beast
That haunts me