Saturday, August 27, 2011


Everything is empty, yet every vessel is full
Every moment is vacant,
Yet every thought contemplated
The abject emptiness of life
Can only be filled by our hands
Every single act
No matter how simple or complicated
Fills the vacuum
Creates purpose
A vast expanse
Of truth
We create the reality around us
We are the hand
Of the creator
We are proof
There is something

"Sun in an Empty Room by Edward Hopper"

Solitary Confinement

My memories are held in a place
That I rarely wish to visit
Kept hidden in the depths
Of the worst of prisons
Chained and tortured
Confessions flowing
Angry screams
No escape, no release
Living nightmares, never dreams
The memories haunt me
Of a world I used to know
Where the life was worth living
Where the dreams flowed
But there is nothing now
We are memories, we are dust
Filled with anger, filled with lust
I am forever in coma
My body is cold, I cannot wake
There is no dream
Nothing worth this pain
I am dying but my flesh endures
And the spark remains
Forcing me to go on
I am breaking in this prison
In this shame of my existence
I stain the memory of this place
Of this apocalypse
Of my own making

Friday, August 26, 2011

Cold, Gray, Snow

My body is unimportant
Can be burned or buried
Stripped of its flesh
Fed to birds as carrion
Or frozen and flensed
My spirit will exist
Until the one that made it
Decides otherwise
My will is not to resist
But rather
Within the skies
Provided for
By the one
And wise

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

You left me hanging there

You knew I needed you
Like a desert basin
Needs rain
You knew I loved you
Like a ballet dancer
Needs grace
And still you lingered
Between your heart
And brain
Refusing to be
Under a spell
So dangerous
But it was just me and I was
Going through hell
With every capricious whim
And twist
You put me through
The rope
Growing restless
In the wind
So willing to break
But you kept me hanging there
Without an answer
What did I do
To deserve this
Why couldn’t you love me
Or let me go away
You know its true
That I am a fool
And you made me ashamed
For loving you
A sacrificial lamb
For you
For being loyal
To someone
Who could do this to me
But I am
Such a fool for you
I love you so
So Damned
So Damned
I am so damned

Monday, August 22, 2011

Zombied Eyes

Staring at the ceiling
Sleepless and alone
Wondering why I'm here
How I got to this place
Why such an empty home
Such an empty life
Nowhere to run
In this world where I exist
Nothing to resist the temptation
Of oblivion
Of the end
When sleep escapes
When dreams cease
My starvation
Of affection
Nothing to stave off
Living death
I've become a zombie
An undead
Living by the day
By the night I stare up
As life wages
Take their toll

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Babylonian Captivity

She painted my soul
With sorrow
She crucified my flesh
With pain
Tattooed my heart
With illusions
Made me her promises
Again and again
However the fear remained
And the lust was not enough
To overcome my tears
She stole my dreams
From my mind
Never could console
My brokenness
And then
The distrust was too great
For me to breathe
With any certainty
I stopped sleeping
For my life
Became ugly
To surrender my dreams
To a whore
Who stole my life
With her offers
Of bleeding love
Tainted seeds
Of hope
For what could never be
She was beautiful but
Her flesh was cold
Her lips black
Eyes staring into my soul
The Whore of Babylon
Rode into my life
Upon the back
Of a beast
And I followed her
Into oblivion’s hold

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Black Hole

So cold and alone
In this vacant space
Where you used to live
Within my embrace
I loved you deeply
Beyond my measure
And then you left
There is nothing
Bereft of love
There is only emptiness
There is something
I guess
A black hole
Where my heart was
Yes that's it
A black hole
I've been consumed
My soul devoured
Since you left me alone
There is nothing worth having
Nothing worth doing
This sorrow has taken control

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


No one who has seen it
Can ever go back
But they can ignore it
They can rationalize
The lies
That accompany
Their deaths
Children falling down
Without the strength
To survive
The hunger
Kills them
And we are paralyzed

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Sadly Awake

Awake now
I dreamed her
Last night
I wish I were
With her
Next to me
So near
Still asleep
While there
I was in love
With the woman
Who woke me up
I was spellbound
And where I’d dreamed her
She was with me
She was beautiful, and alive,
As I breathed, as I sleep
But I was dreaming of her
Dreaming her into being
Because that is all I have
That is all I am
Asleep, to this world
Hoping to reach her
In that other
I have no other things
That are so worth having
I fly in that place
Holding her hands
She makes my heart grow
And lets me escape fate
And circumstance
I dream her
She is there
If this life is worth anything
I’ll dream the chance
To find her
To hold her
To make her mine
In the other place
So beautiful so sublime
Where dreams

Monday, August 8, 2011

Bloodied Broken Mirror

I am a lie
I am a bad memory
A false reflection
I stare into the distance
Crucified and frozen
Like a retarded Christ
No chance of my redemption
No one lives because I die
Broken and bloodied
The mirror reflects
All that I've survived
And I wonder why
I wonder why do I persist
There is nothing in me
Nothing worthy
Nothing about me
That other's wish
I am a mockery
Of all that is good in men
I am a false prophet
False flesh
No chance for holiness
No chance for resistance
I am reflected
In a broken bloodied mirror
The owner of my flesh
Has nothing but pain
And when I am dissected
There will be nothing to gain
For inside me is clay
Mud and water dried
And when I am gone
I will be forgotten
With no tears cried
For I reflect
I am decay
With only the slightest worth
My flesh dries
My being gone
I am ash in the sky
Unworthy of any song
No mourning will be heard
No tears will be cried
I will be poured upon the earth
In ash, in word
Without life

Sunday, August 7, 2011

All I have is hope

Spat out
Full of doubt
I am wounded
In despair
I remain
By my grief
Only shards of hope
Consoled by belief
But all I care about
Is that there will be a rain
That washes
All this world away
I have hope
And that sustains me
But it is all
That I have
All I am inside hurts
Believe me
It is breaking bad
And I have no control
Driving me mad
And I only have hope
To sustain
Through the bleeding
And pain
Only hope
To deal with this place
Before all that exists
Is me insane

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Beneath the waves

No sacrifice would he receive
He would accept no offerings
Of animals or blood
Poseidon required something
Beyond that
Not songs to sing
Not food
Not children offered
Before the floods
Nor treasures
But rather
A bride
To bear his ring

Beneath the waves
Poseidon reigned
His temper foul
His lust great

With but a thought
His trident would strike
Without guile he reigned
For his way was right

How many died
When his anger raged
How many fell before him
In abject prayer
Father of the blue
Father of the waters
Beneath every horizon
Father of the oceans
Where life began

Friday, August 5, 2011

A Crow hops and walks in Snow

The snow
In the field fallen
Upon the quiet field
A black bird walks
The harvest done
Long since yielded
So now silent
The only sound is
Crow who talks

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Golden Images

Resonance in our mind
Outrage in our soul
The beauty conflicts
With the brine
Of the artist
Who captured fire
By his juxtapose
Of image with content

(photos by Andres Serrano)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Staring off in the distance

Do not wonder
Do not think
That there is
Be serene
Become clear
Become focused
Upon that
Which cannot be seen
Enter your mind
Fall from this world
Enter time
As an outsider
Who watches
And knows
The mindful
Truth of being
Free of thought
And attachments

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

In Babylon, lays Ur

Ziggurat of Ur
An amazing place
Built so long ago
A miracle rising from the dirt
Made by hands of man
By modernity
And by modern lands
When it should be held
Not as an end
But the beginning
Of all this world is
And all it should be

Monday, August 1, 2011

Asked I answered

She asked if I loved her still
I said how should I know
I wasn't allowed to do that
That seed could never grow
And yet
Deep inside my heart
That seed reaches out
And fills my soul
It doesn't matter
What went before
It doesn't matter
Where I am now
The heart knows
And the love grows
No matter
What I do
Something deep inside
Still loves
Still knows
Still is alive
No matter
What I do
So I should answer
But I know
It will hurt
So I stammer
Look at my shoes
Through tear stained eyes
I don't know
But I do
I do