Monday, June 29, 2015

In the End Everybody wants

Everybody
Wants their lover to be loyal
Every lover
Wants their love to be true
Every broken heart
Comes with a recoil
At the thought of the loss
Of something good
Of something pure
And worth the tears
Of the pain
Grieving heart
You can find hope
Again
The world is unforgiving
But my love is solid
And others might
Be fleeting
But I am steady
Forever
My love
Your spirit is woven
With my own
And the tapestry
We weave
Is created whole
From two hearts
In love forever
Together
What might be threads
Are silk and whole
Together they complete the fabric
Without flaw
Without any missing stitch
Making the work
One with its parts
And never losing its way
Again
However the world is
Whoever is rich
Whoever is poor
Love supersedes
When the soul needs


Sunday, June 28, 2015

My name is Worthless

He was called worthless
And told that
He'd Never
Be worthy of love
From the first moments
Before even his catastrophic birth
He knew
From the womb
The world was not his home
Closer indeed, yes, to a tomb
His mother threw him back
Abandoned, and hungry
He was a foundling
Ignored, barely fed,
Told constantly to shut up
He looked upon this
From the very first
Circumstance, Fate, Chance, Disaster
And had to assume
He was cursed
But despite that
He never stopped hearing a voice
In the inside of his heart
That told him to ignore the fools
The world was a moment
Eternity is time without end
This journey whatever he was enduring
Was not where his journey would end
Instead it had to be a beginning
One without a view of a goal
Nor of the final days
Only a time of truth
All he had was that voice inside
The world around him
Told him that
He had been given to a land
Who did not love, who did not care
Who would not be moved
Who would not provide
Care, Beauty, Kindness
Or Time to grieve
So he knew
His home
Would have to be found
Far from this place
Even if this was
A simple taste
Of the world
That one taste betrayed
A world of
g
r
e
e
d,
hate
a
n
d
gluttony











He could tell it was not home
Far closer indeed to hell
Albeit without the populace
Being aware surely
His home was far away
And his journey
Would continue

Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Chains Opened my Eyes














They nearly won without a shot from a gun
I woke in a rush to the sentry's screams
As the tragedy had begun
My unit was ambushed
In our night camp
With great loss
Most were killed
Before seeing the morning sun
The enemy attacked
In the veil of the night
They'd killed silently
With cutlass and sabre
Efficiently, quietly
As if guided by hate
They killed the minister
They slew the missioner
Then homed in
Upon the tents
Of our guardsmen
Knowing without them
The Colony's nationals
Would flee
Those of us who fought well
Were surrounded and taken prisoner
Those who were dazed and slow to rise
Were killed before they could fight
Our defenses had been insecure
We were utterly destroyed
If it were a ship
The captain would be brought
Before a court and high commissioner
Judged guilty and executed
By the King's executioner
As the sole surviving officer
I was taken before the leader
Of the dervish enemy
Was placed in chains
I was forced to bow
Like a slave and was beaten
As badly as any master
Would beat his unrepentant slave
Who had attempted a midnight escape
My men received equal beatings
I vowed upon my return
I'd free slaves
Fight to end the practise
Because once humbled in chains
And beaten, and crushed in spirit
One recognizes the hideous
The odious practise
That depends upon such hate
As forever staining
Our name
As human

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Idolatry to the end

I believe that love is love
Only love matters
And that we are all fools
To imagine
We know better
Than the creator
When the world is full
Of difference
In ideas, looks, voices
There is life
That is beautiful
And only love
And hope matter
When we stare into the eye
Of the endless hate
We create
By dividing
Breaking
We make a new God
Out of our vision
Of perfection and become
Idolatrous to the end



Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The woman who is my lover

I'd felt the pain
Of loneliness
And so I made up tales
I fantasized
Ending with nothing
But the knowledge
That again I was alone
Since earliest times
I was aware
Of self deception
I could create victory
In my mind
Out of utter failing
So I became wary
I grew up in solitude
Fearful of rejection
Afraid to be broken
By love or anything else
She spoke to me
When I was hiding
Showed me attention
I didn't know
What was going on
I deeply longed for affection
But I feared being moved
Falsely moved
By that longing
So I was slow to move
Upon my deepest stirrings
Yes she is beautiful
With hair of red
and Gray blue eyes
I found out though
That she is the one
Who calls my name
I fell in love with her heart
Her looks unimportant
But thereafter
Every beautiful woman
Looked less attractive
Sans elle, je serais mort
Saying goodbye tore me apart
But time away
Only led me back again
She was my first love
And my only
I am hers
Unabashedly
Without shame 






Monday, June 22, 2015

A Desert walk
















You can tell people
That the world is beautiful
That it is a savage land
And unforgiving
It is a pristine blue marble
Set upon a star covered sky
Truly exquisite
But beyond its beauty
Beyond its primal core
Where people live
It is empty
And desolate
Where their world
Has been chained
Mutilated and enslaved
The world elsewhere
Refuses to be silent
It is eloquent
Simultaneously
Powerful and quiet
Without our awareness
Because of our ignorance
Human nature is perfectionist
We hate what we cannot change
We will become an artifact
Extinct as a species
Trying to change the earth
But until then
I am walking to nowhere
Where the world is delicate
Needing my soft hands
And nature
But I am alone there
And the desolation
Is my reminder
That I prefer
Solitude
Over
All

Friday, June 19, 2015

Is this it?

Forlorn
Hopeless
Given up for dead
There is no justice
No truth is believed
Until the sacrifice is bled
I am alone
Serving here
Behind the bars
Waiting for my release
Nobody's waiting for me
This world is dying
The children are crying
Innocent but not the rest
The world goes on
Without knowing a thing
Why it is getting so bad
When everything is done
By their very hand


Thursday, June 18, 2015

Death by my hand

To be able to see the future through the past
Is a talent few have
But I do
I know that what I've done will fail
Why it will fall
Why I will die
Because what I do is cursed
My life was never what it should have been
And I have dishonored my name
Dishonored the earth
By being here
Without purpose
I am lost
And do not wish to be found
For there is no end
That is cleaner
If by my own hand
I take all the blame
I caused my pain
And I deserve it all
Between my fear and failings
I've destroyed any hope
And trained my brain
To hope to fail
Because I am
The end is within my hands
My fate is my right index finger



Tuesday, June 16, 2015

In the presence of the Lord of Annwn and King of the Faerie Realm


Whoever wishes to walk, into the Grey, to forget themselves
Whoever has sorrowed a loss, and has been betrayed, and needs help
Gwyn Ap Nudd is King
Of many realms
The Grey, The Faeries, The Dead
Where anything is everything
Where fear is simply a moment
And joy is forever
He is mysterious
But knowing
Dark and foreboding
But true
The Wild Hunt restores the primitive soul
And the feast following restores the union
Of society and beast and gods together


Throw away the chains that have tamed you 
Surrender only the fears, pains that claim you
Gwyn is the Wild Huntsman and is Master 
Of this Wild Great Hunt
Unleash your self
And throw away your civility
Become wild again, restore your nobility 
For you were born for more than being servile
Because this is your opportunity, the only one left


Be yourself, be who you were meant to be
This is the final step, to enter the Grey
In all the waking moments
And all the dreams and nightmares
Humans have ever had
Now is the sole time
The only time
Worth having
And being wild
 Love with every ounce of soul
Be, with your every moment
Know, because you are worthy
Take control
And then let go


(This is written about a pre-Christian era time in Europe particularly Celtic Ireland and Britain.  I am still a Christian, I am not switching teams, this is just to let the people who inevitably write me that I am fine and there is no need to wonder or worry.)

Monday, June 15, 2015

Waiting For Hope














The ship I was on
Crashed in a storm
The remains of the ship
Scattered into the currents
I was spared any harm
But I will die
The island is living
Without an insect
Or animal
It swarms
Until my mind
Is gone
Sup upon my flesh
Drink my blood
Cook me in the sun
Take my corpse
And bury it
So that you might know
I have become undone
Without violence
Marooned
Cast adrift
And forgotten
Alone
Defeated
Without cutlass or gun
Sun rising, fallen moon
I have become one
With the island
Day dreams, night terrors
I am alive and awake
Watching as my ribs protrude
More and more
Somewhere
Someone may care
As my life
Drifts
Like sand
Through my hand
But there is no hope
For a ship to save me
That is a hope
I will not muster or dare


Sunday, June 14, 2015

Red Death's Masque


Death invites us to enter
But not all acquiesce 
Death offers to take our hand
Some are born to suffer
Others attempt to escape
The icy cold control
Death is like a fallen red rose
Once it has entered the ball
The masquerade party 
Becomes silent and still
While all are required
To wear a masque
For once death's face
Can be seen at last
Triumphant
He walks
Down the staircase
He shocks
He offers doom
As he enters this room
The party goers
Are stunned
For who is this?
Why such a gaudy costume?
Are we meant to fear?
Quite yes you are
Oh my dear



“And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.”
Edgar Allan Poe

Friday, June 12, 2015

Memory

I remember the scent
Of every flower I've ever
Been blessed
To smell
I remember the beauty
Of every face that
Has ever
Spoken to me
So why can't I remember
All the things
That are good and pleasing
Like you saying
That you love
Me?

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Theseus, One Made a Difference

There are stories in history
Of a single hero
Or ordinary person
Being the difference
One stemming the flood
Theseus meant to be
The one
He stood against
The king and his beast
A maze was kept
For the king's pleasure
A blood sport
Taking the youths
Offered in tribute
Coldly releasing them
Into a maze, a trap
Only to end with their capture
And slaughter by the beast
Known as the Minotaur
A hungry, clever, angry beast
With the head of a bull
And the body of a man
Until the next cycle
When it would happen again
Until Theseus offered to go
Despite his high status as a prince
He went in the place of another
But not to die, rather
To end the Minotaur's terror
Through wit and charisma
Through strength and guile
He defeated the beast
Ending its reign
As one to make a change to benefit all
Like others who did the same

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Modern Society Arguments

One strives to tell us how there is nothing
So ardent and proud and loud
As if he has traveled everywhere
While the other says he IS God
So self aware and deep
One turns to science for truth
While another says only
By his interpretation
Despite his being confused
My mind takes in just so much before
I scream in terror
Or my mind simply
Bursts into a thin red mist
This world so frozen at the core
How can it function
Without love or joy
I am blinded by the sanctimonious
Empty displays by
The ironically empty
Commentators
If I take it to mean
I am meant to fall
Because one cannot stand
Against the many
Then let me fall
But let me be
Redeemed
By my being called
Honest
By those who believe


Monday, June 8, 2015

Lost in Dreams


 
















Burnt to ashes
Then cast aside
Thrown into a crevice
The rubbish of humanity
Is laid and left to rot
My mind drifts
Off slowly I float
Into the ether
The silver cord trailing
Behind me
Softly the sand
It falls through
My fingers
The hourglass breaks
The river
The stream of time flows
Pouring over
Flooding through
And I return as memories burn
Somnum Exterreri Solebat
Dreams -  Insomnium
Drifting
Into the black










 
Falling
Blindly
Without aim
Into the emptiness
Endless black



















Hurdling 
Into the abyss
Of memories loss
Entering senseless
Hopeless

 










Into a holocaust
Of souls tossed
Into the endless
Blackness
The darkness
My dream state purged
Sucking down
My being
To another plane
Of the neverwas or worse
To the nevercouldbe
How clever
How delight filled
Modernity would spurn
The Faer and the Angels
Edens and paradise
Elysium and its fields
The pristine perfect worlds
That we did not deserve
Not even in
Our perfect dreams






Thursday, June 4, 2015

Exhausted

In a heap I crumble and collapse
So far away I am, yet I know
Your heart beats with a rhythm
Symphonies could never match
Your beauty stunning
Your eyes sparkle in the evening
As playful as kittens and mother cat
Spellbound and have nowhere to run
Longing only to be at your side
Life is far to difficult but its begun
I have no choice but to watch
As you spread your wings to fly
So far away
Yet I
Am not worried
You are magnificent
And will always be
Everything you are meant to be




Tuesday, June 2, 2015

I Bow Before My King

I am emptied in my soul
Compared to the bounty
Your heart holds
My being is meek 
In your presence
When after time
I am able to speak
I rarely have the words
To describe
My heart's longing for you
You stir my soul inside
All of the wonders
Of who you are
Your beauty
The eloquence
The vast depths 
Or your grace
You are divine
Beyond comparison
You define magnificence
Because of your kindness
Utter perfection
Your loyalty to me
Your Imperative mercy
Causes me to endlessly seek
I fall before your throne
Giving praise
I shall worship you
I shall give you praise
My heart will follow you
All of my days



Monday, June 1, 2015

In your prison

I tried
I tried to refuse
To be hurt and not to cry
But you are responsible
You never knew what you did
When you shut that door
And I
Never saw why
You could walk away
Without seeing
How I never would
Have said what you think
You say that I said
And now you are gone
Sending me letters
Saying you wish I
Never had said that
And I
Never did
It makes me wish I were dead
To be judged for a crime
I never would commit
To pay the cost
And serve the time
When I wasn't a criminal
And never would have been
What a shame
What a shame
And I am left
In the dark
Trying
To survive