Dirty despite my efforts to scrub

I know
It was me
All my doing
I am covered by the flaws
And my sins are legion
So when a blindside assault
Led me to collapse
Inside
Despite my defenses
Being up
I had to go
Far away
Deep in hiding
Everything is my fault
Over time I've relapsed
Into a fool senseless
Dirty with sins
No matter how I scrub
I cannot make myself clean
Neither on the outside
Or within
My sorrow burns like gasoline
And my heart
Is made to freeze
Lifeless
Grieving
Life is not for me
Time to leave
Endless are the echoes
Of the faithless cries
No one hears
When I scream