The Accidental Saint

In a room filled with thugs
I stand out as the worst
I am immoral
A fool
Not a hero
I am less than human
Not a man
Not a god
I am made of flesh
Mortal I am made
Of simple things
Less than a man
More than an ant
I am a criminal
Constantly
Colliding
With the world
With its rules
I should be at the end
Of a rope, twisting
Twisting to the wind
Dancing to the twist
Because I am bad
And yet
Although I am
Flawed and pointless
Bleeding and hopeless
My world screams
And I die inside
With all of my plans
Failed and unvoiced
I've nowhere to hide
Now in the end
I am unable to exist
Without my dreams
So I am lost
Somehow here
Within paradise
Martyrdom denied
I don't belong here
I deserve to pay
For all of my crimes
I am here without a reason
But it feels
Odd
As if I've been given mercy
For things I've done
And given credit
For the small things
Others never noticed
All my life
I've simply been me
Following my instincts
Rather than being
One of the herd
And now
The world is better
For my absence
How do I deserve
Being in this place
In the presence
Of the most holy