Burning inside, Burning

So what
What if I love her
She isn't ready to be
Loved by someone
Someone like me
My heart is becoming fragile
And my chest hurts
So hard to breathe
How many tears
Must pour down my face
How many years must I pray
For a simple embrace
To kiss her lips
Just one taste
To see her loving me
What cost haven't I paid
She doesn't love me
And won't
I know its true
But I pray anyway
Knowing
That
Knowing that
Knowing that
I fail

Stone chiseled beast

Running in tears
Like mice in the fields
From the hawk above
Alive in memory
Mythic but real
Existence a legacy
We remember our fear
Dragons in the sky
Crashing down to feast
Upon our dead bodies
A harvest we will yield

The Black friend

Complacent
Nascent
New to the world
Breeding
Waiting to die
The black friend came
And the world
Committed
Populacide
Black death
Aptly named
Ready to kill
Again
Where is he
What is his game
In our cells
He remains

Alone

Franz Kafka
Knowing that we are alone
Yearning for something more
Beyond all that we know
Yet I burn inside
You told me to look
Outside of my tunnels
My vision so limited
Looking beyond my doorway
And pathways
To find
Something to make me whole
Something real
Nothing magical
Yet unique
And special
And my own

With Every Word you saved me

Albert Camus
Saved my soul
Proved there was purpose
Whether in portion
Or whole
My life has meaning
However it is construed
There doesn't need to be perfection
All there needs to be
Is truth

Falling down without you

Sleeping
In the door frame
Waiting
Gone down
Fallen and broken
So many dreams
Unspoken
Gone away
When you leave
Again
I remain
But you
make me believe again
Every time I see you
Or hear your voice
Undone again
Gone again
I remain
Needing you
More than ever before
I remain
but
You are gone again
Cold early winter
Wind and rain
Couldn't make me colder
Than my heart feels
All I have left
Is dreams of you
But without you
I feel so much older
And forever is so far away
No one knows
How much I gave
But now
I am too far away
To ever be saved
Because you came
And went away
Again

What if I matter

What if I matter
What if my voice speaks truth
I might be silenced
Might be forced into a darkness
Stuffed into a room
With methods of death
You may kill me
Silence me
Prevent me from speaking
You might seek
To make me sleep forever
Instead of speak
About things that matter
You might dream that I am a liar
That I am insane
You might put me in chains
Leave me to be devoured
Consumed
But I remain
Truth can be ignored
Words can be drown in noise
But the truth cannot be tamed
It exists
Apart from your acceptance
Or your acquiescence to it
Whether you hear it
The words are true
And how you respond
Is your nexus
Between your fate
And your end

“Perhaps a lunatic was simply a minority of one.”

George Orwell (English Novelist and Essayist, 1903-1950)

“Insanity in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties,
nations and epochs it is the rule”

Friedrich Nietzsche (German classical Scholar, Philosopher
and Critic of culture, 1844-1900)

Same and Not

Night and day
Sorrow and joy
Courage and fear
Ecstasy and pain
Two centaurs
Represent the dichotomous
Spirits of man
Prance in the sun
And grasses of a meadow
A glorious day
No sign of rain
One plays the harp
With sublime excellence
In the shadows
Of a great oak
The other draws a bow
And kills with expertise
When he shoots
For the daily repast
One is wild and free
The other is focused
And filled with guile
Both are filled with talent
But differently aim themselves
One falls to the deepest depths
Of sadness
And rises to the heights of heaven
With joy
The other is even of mood
Without great distance
Between highs and lows
One is an artist
The other is a craftsman
Both share the same world
Despite their outlooks
Whether to build
Or destroy
Both are talented
Both dream
Both love
And bleed
The clouds fall down
The sky darkens
And rain comes
Again

Sorrow Emptied

No sorrow left
The heart no longer spent
The tears have dried
The grieving ended
For I mourn not
I am done
You left
I died
My emotions are dead
My body goes on
But there is nothing inside
You are gone
I am broken
My spirit has fled
My flesh wanders
Seeking death
Instead

Saved

You saved me
In my abject brokenness
You found me
Tore me from my addiction
To the pain
My heart was unmade
Broken in two forever
So hard to be healed
But able to be saved
You healed me
With your hands and lips and body
You loved me
Redeemed my soul from the pain
Brought rain to my desert
You brought joy to my soul
Severed the last links
To the one who made me insane
With you
My healing had begun
And you came to me
Pursued me for I ran
And you saved me
For I had finally come undone
From the years of holding
The broken pieces of my heart
In my hands
Out of sight
Ashamed
Hidden from view
I was lost
Until the moment
I found you

Sparta

We are warriors
The land’s
Undying people
We are crushed
But surviving
Wounded but refuse to fall
Unrelenting threats
Don’t stop us
Unending deaths
Only slow us down
Fidelity is our virtue
We are loyal
Until the end
We answer the call
Warriors rushing
Spears soaring
Through the sky
Many die
But not all
Immune to steel
No
Immune to pain
No
But
Endless devotion to the cause
Born of iron will
Blood of ancestors
Fill our veins
We will never fall
Will never fall
Undying people
Citizens at arms
Our nation
Without flaw
Made us
Without fear
Made us
To fight
Made us
To die
Its will
Is law

For I have Dreamed

I dreamt a world into being
By my tears, by my joys
And my pains
Redeemed for it is alive
Birthed from a heart
Ready and awake
My children are like fire
Rising and growing
Without fear
I see
Nothing before them
To slow them
They are my seed
They are my kin
My blood
My dreams
My horizon never dims
My children never sleep
They reach from here
To eternity

They speak

Words fall from their mouth
So freely as if by ease
But their words are not true
The intent is to appease
The result is like a political speech
Telling others to believe
When the truth is they do not
They speak like others shit
But this shit does not bring relief
But rather broken promises
Accusations
Faithless declarations
Let it be at an end

Gaping Maw of Existence

How can any of us survive
When the son of God died
Crushed by the gaping maw
Of existence
How can I not commit
Suicide
When in possession of the truth
That even Christ was crushed
By the lies of man
By the jaws of existence
That crush us all
The proof that we exist
Is not enough
We have to resist
The compelling fears
That we will be chewed
Spewed out as splatters
And the end
Comes far too soon

Death

Faced with the black abyss
300 stood
Death was not feared
The angel who brought it
Was kissed
They embraced the end
Like no one else
And bought time
For brother Greeks
300 stood at the abyss
And laughed
Entered the eternal mist
With no fear
The end had come
At last
And they welcomed it

Floating

I am like an
Ancient abandoned
Astronaut
Floating in space
Lost in the nethers
Without purpose
Only pain
I cannot endure
Dreams destroyed
Insanity splatters
Not enough vicodin
Calling on morphine
Today
Gray skies gray matter
Hook me into the mother
Place my hose on the regulator
Let my mind clear
From the distant chatter
Set me forth into the haze
Of a normal day
Inject me with all your chemicals
I reject all of my skin
Let me exist
Far away from this place
Let me escape from within
Every moment I breathe
My sins gather
And I spread the seed
Every second held in pain
My anger grows
And I seethe
Only by my death
Will I be released
Only through death
Will I be redeemed

Wait

They've protected the entrance
Of the sacred place
For centuries alone
Without human contact
Without touch or song
Without kind embrace
They serve with honor
Without reward
By their word
Their service is long
But their job is vital
The sacred is vulnerable
To the entreaties of the wicked
And should they gain entry
The result would be terminal
For the sacred is pure
And all that has value
Everything else is dust
Dream and screams

Inexorable

The world presents us with many mysteries
Are we unique among the universe
Are we inheritors of past world legacies
Do we deserve these gifts
Or should we instead find tragedy
Our origins cannot be traced
Our self illusions cannot be erased
Who are we
And why do we exist
What is the purpose
Will existence ever cease
Do we conform
Do we resist
What is the answer
Random chances
Or purpose built
Existence
What have we done
To deserve Eden
What do we do
To restore it
Do we give up
To the march of time
Relentless
Inexorable
It moves

Intertwined

The moment
Remembered by film
The eyes of innocent
Permanently stained
The eyes of the guilty
Immune to the blame
What remains
Is unable
To be extinguished
Like a flame
When man kills man
When light turns to shadow
When sane turns insane
Fates intertwined
Nothing to gain
For the end will come shortly
For all

Woman on the Horizon

I slept beneath
A sky red with anger
Approaching clouds
I believe it comes for me
To devour me
To consume me
To destroy my being
In velvet dreams
I am held in love
In reality
There is none
I’ve long since been abandoned
By all
There is nothing left
Sorrow is my companion
Dust is my legacy
My desire is to live
My fate is to die
There is no destiny
But to grieve
For lost opportunities
Lost chances
Final wishes
Last dances
I have awakened
And I see the horizon
A flash of blinding light
I see a being
Who moves with amazing grace
Upon the shore
Just above the horizon line
But I cannot see her face
I long to touch her
I long to know her
I long for
Her embrace
I am held fast
In place
For she moved me
And my heart
Screamed
To be with her

Deep Dark Secret

(Inspired by Sanctum, a series by Humanoids)



A submarine of a modern super power
Follows an undersea trail
A radioactive path
So deep beneath the surface
Discoveries of antiquity certain
But the darkness so great
Darker than night
The secrets are held tightly
Like money from a beggar’s fist
The trust that modernity
And its technologies
Will protect the humans
Within the submarine
From whatever is left
Is perhaps
Naive
Or worse
Foolish
But the path is there
Waiting for a human touch
The mystery is there
Waiting for a human thought
To unravel
The path remains
And can be seen
But what left it
Is unknown
Soon enough
In the darkness
Where hope fades



The explorers
Discover a tomb
A complex of dark mystery
Where a past culture
Worshiped evil Gods
Sacrificed to them
Lives and treasure
Devoted lives
To torture
And pleasure
What they’ve left behind
A legacy to future generations
Of a world
They will never know
But for the remnants
Left behind
For others
To interpret
To be moved by
To be killed by
To commit suicide by
For the madness
The madness


The secret whispers
The voices
The blood
Rising under thrust dagger
The body reels
With pain
The flood comes
Of madness
The rain
Of madness
Madness

And the Gods Thus Despised Him

For eating of the fruit
Of knowledge
He suffered
But was forgiven
For the garden was immense
And man was shy

For longing for the flesh
He suffered
And was given



A life of flesh bound misery
Pursued through eternity
The flesh
The flesh the flesh

Bound in the flesh
He aged
Bound in the flesh
He was confused
And raged



This clay was animated
With little within
To understand the garden's wishes
And the master's whims

To eat of the fruit
To long for deliverance
Of the flesh born lust
There was knowledge
Of the truth
But in the end

We are dust

Lazarus

Resurrected
Awaiting and new
Flesh born over
Living is proof
There is the skin
The organs beneath
The breath in the lungs
The new born screams
He called
I slept
He woke me
From that sleep
And gave me new life
Better than a dream
For the sorrows of my sisters
And family moved him
He returned the spark
To this clay
I no longer resisted
His call
And I awoke
Fully whole
Alive

So I Pass

Gwynifer
The one I love
Lost to me
In the days
By my failing
To see her needs
As her husband
Over that
Of my country
As king
For centuries people will sing
Of the greatness
Of my reign
I am stuff
From which
Legends are made
And yet
I failed her
Born of king’s blood
Uther’s rage inside me
I lived for the truth
And now
It haunts me
For as a king
I was all
But as a man
I was hollow
Without her
I will pass
Into the evers
Upon the breast
Of Avalon
Sleeping
But sadly alone
Attended by the fates
Who sort out the length
Of days
They offer me an endless amount
But I retreat
Into the mists
Of the evers
And I long
To hold her hand
Again

a sad song about the Death of Arthur

And you think your job is tough?

If there is one job I would not desire
It is that of Lord Charon
Who ferries the dead
To the lands of the dead
Where there is fire
And the gnashing of teeth
Rather it would be
Instead
For me,
The ferrying of the living
To the beach
Where there would be dancing
And bbqing of beef

Dust

Despite our suspicions
Within
We are blind
To the end
For Doomsday
Rests upon a hinge
That can swing
In any direction
But
Time is not kind
Decay moves
At an unending
An unslowing pace
We are the disease
We cannot find
The answer
In other ways
We see signs
Of progress
Or entropy
But in the decay
We grow fetid
We are crushed
By forces
More firm than rock
The encroaching
Devastation
That we cannot see
It is invisible
For it never stops
And we perceive
Nothing
The lies
Deceive us
As we are covered
In the depths
Of the fallen walls
Of the fallen people
Of the end
Presented
Before our eyes
We are the catastrophe
We are the cause
We are deception
We are lust
We are immune to love
Due to lies
Due to our corruption
Due to our ways
There is no trust
For we are the end
And here
Upon this place
So cold and gray
Our corpse will lay
Until it becomes
Dust

BURNING

Crows circle burning fields
Curious at the cause
Men have been making war
Again
A harvest without yield
Warriors of Odin
Crush the bearers of the Cross
The children of the One Eye
Destroy the followers
Of the Lamb of God
But the crows have no idea
Who it is or what they believe
They just note the rampant burning
Of the land
And they grieve

Marathon's beach

A hoplite warrior
Sits nude upon a rock
Upon Marathon’s beach
Where a day before
An empire was turned
Back to the sea
Where from they’d come
Persian warriors
Of the Emperor Darius
By a city of citizens
Shield to shield
And spears forward
The shores are clean
But the day before
Were red with blood
Of many men
Who’d fled
Of the empire
Now bled
Darius learned a lesson
Not to fleetingly consider
The warriors of Greece
Who rather than surrender
Were willing to die instead
For their world
The hoplite sits
Considers what happened
Knowing only that
His world is now saved
By blood of men
So that democracy might live
So that Greece might give
Civilization the highest gifts
And they still remain
In a world alive
With vengeful Gods
And selfish men
And other extremes
Some visions exist
To overcome
And we are blessed
To be the children
Of such dreams

The Nephilim, the warriors, the elite

They wore few clothes
But cared for their top knot
Their hair was a mark of their class
They struck a vision
Before lesser men
They were immortal warriors
They were elite
They were not flesh
They wore no facade
They were different
Enoch knew them
Children of the elder Gods
Who built the earth
And high heavens
Slaves to none
When the human race was begun
They were the Nephilim
They were the warriors
They were the demi-Gods
Who remained
Here upon this earth
Where they thrived

Hymn to Aten, by his beloved son, Ahkenaten

One before all others
Knowing the world and the heavens
Staring at existence
From his high place
In the throne room
In Amarna
The royal palace
Of the kingdom of Egypt
He knew the truth
He was proof
That Egypt was the highest land
Of the greatest lands
And the God Aten
Blessed it
Daily

The following is a poem/song devoted to the worship of the new Egyptian god Aten, held high above all others by Ahkenaten, the first Egyptian Pharaoh to institute monotheism.

"How manifold it is, what thou hast made!

They are hidden from the face (of man).

O sole god, like whom there is no other!

Thou didst create the world according to thy desire,

Whilst thou wert alone: All men, cattle, and wild beasts,

Whatever is on earth, going upon (its) feet,

And what is on high, flying with its wings.

The countries of Syria and Nubia, the land of Egypt,

Thou settest every man in his place,

Thou suppliest their necessities:

Everyone has his food, and his time of life is reckoned.

Their tongues are separate in speech,

And their natures as well;

Their skins are distinguished,

As thou distinguishest the foreign peoples.

Thou makest a Nile in the underworld,

Thou bringest forth as thou desirest

To maintain the people (of Egypt)

According as thou madest them for thyself,

The lord of all of them, wearying (himself) with them,

The lord of every land, rising for them,

The Aton of the day, great of majesty"