the poor turtle

We ran over a turtle on the road, we couldn't swerve at all
Both lanes full, as that poor creature couldn't move away
I know, just a turtle, it is no different than a fish you'd eat
But in my life I've begun to count the cost, of all I've done
Lying, selfish, even when others would not know, yet care
I'd kill ants or insects when I could've let them live, escape
I realize all living things live for a reason, why shouldn't I
There I grieved for the turtle, when others would not dare
For to show empathy is weakness to some, to others a flaw
I am finding my life running out of years, it becomes clear
That the empathy I was born with, or once had, has run out
Like others, this apathy has been replaced, leaving entropy
Yes I'm flawed beyond measure, if I could return to birth
I'd choose to hold tight upon my innocence, and not judge
I'd make sure to not forget that I am able, as others are not
Entitled: to comfort, to not starve, to be hopeful, to love
It should be for all, but I was insensitive and thoughtless
I saw wrongs that never changed, but didn't care enough

The Coming Fire and Flood

I spent the time I was supposed to be learning
Feeling like I'd be seeing the world's end come
Where nothing would matter, not even survival
The entire of life in endless, pointless yearning
Futures that will never come, I hear war drums
They drown out hope, Horsemen near arrival
Bringing famine, pestilence, war and hatred
Leaving a world where nothing's left sacred
I try to find the answers, but there are few
The flesh has faded, the dust has come
Our dreams are gone, our hopes are jaded
But we reject every answer, we've no clue
The Persian, Greek, Roman Empires all fell
All their skeletons and skulls became dust
Millennia pass Tigris and Euphrates go dry
The globe will be covered by fires that rage
By ocean waters rising to flood level
And as each disaster consumes our lives
There's nothing left but world's end
We have already found nothing left
We'll burn like the survivors of war
Like escapees of Vesuvius and Pompeii
Leaving only burnt remnants
And artifacts of a selfish age

The Clockmaker's Design and Works

Every gear is structured to serve a purpose, with exactness
Every turn of the stile is timed for a reason, and perfection
Angels are beings, composed with power, but are servants
Demons are the remnants of those angels fell from purpose
A gear must never question the reason, for its being made
Each Angel must serve how it was made, not question that
Every soldier sent to war, comes from being given free will 
But must answer their masters and do what they're ordered
I wait for the day when we are made only of spirit and soul
And know our maker, know how we failed, in our purpose
Because whatever is done, there was never a flaw in design
Only in the deviations from the schedule or a flaw in ore
The design is perfect, and meant to create a response
That leads the product to know a reason for being

MEMORY OF THE MOMENT

The memory of the moment
of the misery of the Monday
When you were first gone
Still lingers like a scream
That hangs in frozen air
As I found your home empty
The emotional torment
Never believed that day
Would ever ever come
A nightmare, not a dream
The soul burns cold
The flesh full exhausted
Every breath pain streams
I can't find my way
In this eternal dark
But I bow and grieve
Waiting for the time
When my heart is free
If ever again
Every memory
Every second apart
Laying upon your grave
Not in derision or disrespect
Praying to be close to you
As long as you are gone
So is my heart
Oh sacred shadows
Let me be with you
Let me hold you again
Before I fade
Forever

THE RIDDLE

In the depths of the riddle, without any clue
Is danger of pride of knowing a secret truth
But to know of, is far different than to know
To be aware is even different than to become
The world of our thoughts can be boundless
This imagination can lead to entitled dreams
To know is not to be, to be is not to become
We must live every step, live every minute
To prepare for finding a truth unwelcome
Or to live in times that are not safe times
For our world is dangerous and beautiful
We don't get to choose our desired result

Across the Sea, A Knight Came

On he'd walked his steed over the rough road, leading to Camelot
His banner draped over shoulder, symbol painted upon the shield
He'd heard tales of this kingdom, once a stronghold for Romans
Now they'd gone, it was built greater, held by a trained war king
He went by many names, as did the knight leading his war horse
Lancelot du Lac, from the lush fields of France, maybe a Bretagne
Legend preceded him, men feared his abilities, as well as envied
He would be the inheritor of a legacy, that showed his abilities
As well as his flaws, not of skills or mind, but a heart's yearning
Could he redeem his flaws, to give his warrior's heart burning
Only in the final battle, could anyone say, had he paid his debt

A Confused Knight, still noble

In the woods of the land, magic creatures abounded
Dragons and giants, dark beings and hell's hounds
But to become a knight, in the eyes of the kingdom
One must go upon a hunt in the forest dark and evil
With preparation and prayer, a squire took his oath
And rode upon his chestnut horse to the forest edge
Dismounting, he took a sword, shield and light pack
Knowing that his quest would be one truly dangerous
He walked until the thick trees made it dark as night
Listening for any sound, prepared for any challenge
He was cold, shivering, scared, but truly prepared
For he couldn't be a knight, if he couldn't succeed
A knight must swear an oath and make it fulfilled
In the morning he saw light, sitting across from him
A great drake, with scales of black edges, and teeth
Smiled at him and said, did you dream of anything
The knight nearly soiled himself, afraid and shocked
But said no, I did not sleep, the drake laughed well
Saying you've been in a magic sleep for many days
What you imagined were dreams, and I watched it
The knight said Why, why did you not slay me then
The Drake said, not all creatures in darkness are evil
Some of us are curious, others bright, or even kind
The knight was confused, what knight wouldn't be
He thought to pull his sword to achieve his quest
And the Drake rose to 12 feet upon his haunches
Said, you are imagining again, and truly I say
You could never win this battle, for I was sent
To keep you from harm, you have greater treks
You have important deeds to accomplish, later
But why the Knight thought, why was I sent
The Drake began to fly off, but said before he did
Test your honesty, test your heart if its good
The knight sheepishly asked, was I, is it good?
The Drake said, it depends upon what you say
To the Queen who waits in the castle, to see
Your answer will tell her all she needs to know
He returned home, told the others how he failed
And said I do not deserve to be a knight at all
The Queen smiled, saying I prefer men honest
They'll act properly when the true tests occur
I killed nothing the Knight said, she still smiled
I prefer my knights to know when it is right
Give your life, save your land, defend others
Those are what a knight is to be, a defender
The Knight still didn't truly understand
And tried to offer back his sword
The Queen said, you are young and naive
Perhaps you are confused
The world sees a knight as a killer
One who fights for the glory of it
I want those who serve to know why
And give to others, as often as fight
To fight for the rights of others
To live as he would have others live
To die as he would have others die
And she named him his knightly title
Sir Iskander the Curious

Lost Honor

She said yes, so he bent his lance to her hand
Attaching her banner, he'd bear it in the joust
Not a fight, no, but a test of skill and courage
With her banner, the claim for queen and land
From every other king's knights came shouts
The queen's finest knight was of great worth
The banner symbolized, a loyalty and honor
But the other knights feared him, and refused
As a winner by default, was not a test of arms
He'd returned her banner, she was not amused
For the fear in others, took away great charm
Of having her banner borne by a great knight
The greatest ever, one from kingdoms distant
Who came to honor her, defend, and to fight
But she was queen, and could command
So she took the "honor" of the fearful knights
And sent them upon an impossible quest
A test of honor, a quest for them impossible
As she kept her own knight to herself
For he had been ready for the test
And had passed it, and wanted more

Bleeding ink

I needed you, but you'd never saw my wounds
Thought I was selfish, and my bleeding went on
Left a trail, wherever I went, my ink poured out
I'm broken, but still moving, trying to keep up
The ink showed how I suffered, was stepped on
Just wanted you happy, but you showed doubt
All I am is a burden, I've nothing to give to you
 More than I can bear, more than I can endure
My flesh sacrificed, my blood is no longer pure
I gave you everything and I long to be fulfilled
Redeemed in my suffering, my inkwell filled
My love was nothing to you, to me everything
I loved your soul, I followed your dreams
So now I just bleed, bursting at the seams
A flood follows, no dam can control
Follow my trail, it is easy to find
My heart is emptied from the inside

My Perfect Shadow

She kisses me in the morning, my eyes being closed
Her breath is so glorious, with hands soft and gentle
Form perfect, couldn't be anything but sweet dreams
Sweetest dreams, her heart's beauty allowed me to fly
A finer softness than silk, her kindness is Christlike
And in the morning, my mind was starting over again
Ever since the crash, everything was new, except her
When you have everything, you don't know what it is
When you have nothing, you know exactly what it is
And for me, every day that she's here, I'm in Heaven

Shattered

What matters?
         Is it fame
              Is it charisma
                       Or is it money?
What leads your path
What measures your worth
Is it to find your heart's desire
           If you fail
Will you scream in ire
         The mirror shatters
Bleeding
       Splinters and slices
Dripping
           Painting a Pollack
Without knowing
Life goes on
So tired
So emptied
Of everything inside me

Time and the Human Perception

Dried old and cold bodies are a correspondence to the future
All soft tissue hardened, but pain and fear can easily be seen
Wandering from millennia in time, did they travel an afterlife
Making life a preparation for the Heaven, spending this life
Can we ever live, have families, enjoy life, love or live
The world is new all the time, but it is ancient by far
Modern humans have a way to make what's new special
Not knowing, nothing exists without what precedes
Time builds on time, achievement unlocks achievement
Make recent achievements the most important thing 
When it would never be, without all that came before
Without the past, nothing in the present would be
Nothing is special but the first time, and every time
It is all a matter of knowing, we aren't special

Riding Ships to the Future

Studied the stars and the winds, we knew how to reach the other shore
Knowing that path had come in our memory, not upon parchment
Every trip to the other side of the sea, we became skilled, trained
Sails born, oars rowing, all made strong, each prepared at our core
As currents however had changed, this was uncharted territory
The days of the discoverer are not the same without information
We'd try of course, getting halfway there, gone far already
We Vikings riding ships that already claimed knowledge
The ship structures, star to guide, sails were perfect
Expert seafarers, captains, tribes and fierce warriors
Some would return, as others be lost, as storms tear
Left behind by violence to freeze, decay in the ocean
Emptied vessels, gray bodies by millennium's end
New information, they'd bring it back and share
All Europe knowing, cold northern nightmare 

Incense Burner

The flesh when burned, smells sickly sweet
Some think that the fire comes from within
But the human body doesn't naturally burn
Walls are closing in, my world is receding
The flesh broken, screaming, hurt, bleeding
But if we ignore it and pray to escape, again
It will all come back, collapsing, dreaming
Oh, many memories of misery
Oh, this mass of the dark mysteries
And we have nothing but sleeping
I pray not to die, under torture while there

The Kingdom

The open door, waiting for us to cross through, awaits
With no means testing for one who arrives, he comes
We are all alive in your arms, from knowing your path
As we breathe deeply, watch as you steal away our fate
A single foot away, knowing my beloved found the one
Now, we'll raise the glorious banner, claiming our truth
We can hear them scream, smash drums into a thunder
To gain by our fear, but we fear not, for we know power
Let the banner raise, let out mercy, grace flourish wide
And call forth the dead, who sleep for the moment sign
The trumpets will play, the angels are here, come inside
The castle knows no limits, it exists to fulfill a promise
We are that, and yes, we are there to know even more
For knowledge is endless for a mind of mortal flesh
And it is endless for those, traded flesh for immortality

Light for the future, the abyss is not our home

There is a sound, few can hear, but you are able
Sound of a heart breaking, a tree holding weight
People gather and watch, the most cruel spectacle
Some then looks away, as a rising sorrow breaks
To know, to see, expect the sky to shudder, close
But rain falls, sky turns black, and the earthquakes
This is the moment the son of the Creator is taken
This is how the world comes full circle, be chosen
For the one once upon the tree, will return to us
Upon the clouds, Trumpets call
The final words are heard
Salvation is here

Done!

We have watched as our planet has grown tired
In time, we've traveled wide fields, under stars
We humans have limits in the body, not in spirit
Our minds are the true key to our future, dream
But our world is quickly decaying, to flee soon
The dead outnumber the living, life collapsing
Without luck, fate, accidents, we will be stuck
Soon we must change, we will escape or die
And the lack of which will prevent growth
We will surely accomplish our own doom
Inch by inch, we will build our stone tomb

Victims and Fools

Humanity makes choices, we are empty at the core
We choose sides in wars, where no one is the hero
The greed, the lust, the need to control the world
No one understands the purpose, outside of being
Every life lost, it doesn't matter of what nationality
We are fools, choosing war and killing, over peace
Babies, children, adults and elders all have worth
We act as if we are powerless, we must do research
Find the reason for our preference, if there is one
But it is easy, ... violence is easier than peace
So we build bombs, and kill each other

When Legion 9 Disappeared

Image was sent to me, as such I don't know if ©
protected,let me know and I'll pull it

They'd fought with fervor, amongst the finest in the Legion 
In Britannia they guarded Hadrian's wall, a guardian's purpose
Not just to fight, giving time for civilians to escape the flood
Then they were sent to Gaul, then into fire zones, for Rome
Worn from such use, attrition, did they chase barbarians away
Did they simply run out of food, equipment vitality, or hope
Didn't the Emperor know how much those lives it would cost?
Where did they end up, in wars of empire, or without the fire
Some people speak of aliens, others being lost in a underworld
I've no idea what, but the fact is that a very great unit was lost
Lives, equipment, civilian workers, families, and many more
To be famous and lost, leads one to wonder frightening reality
What might've happened, to remove from sight, artifacts
Of a Legion that was trusted, believed in, veterans, and able
If we're not meant to know, every effort will be in vain
But the mystery is so tempting, it must be addressed

Day 2 of the Divided world, August 13, 1945

After the split of Europe's dividing lines
Between capitalist and led by democracy
Versus that of Socialist and Communist
And pure forms of autocratic leadership
Then came NATO and WARSAW PACT
Our future safe, with the future being great
For a moment, that was, for trust did not exist
In August 13, 1945 East Germany built a wall
The Communists surrounding West Berlin
Using brick, barbed wire, electrical wiring
To keep all the trapped working people
In the Socialist labor camps
To prevent the Communists from escaping
The guns of the wall pointed inward, freedom
Rebuilding in the imaginary West of wealth
Already finished, and that that led to dead escapees
And also for freedom for all who survived
To keep humans in eternal slavery inspires
Calling us all to fight for individual rights
Eventually, even the natives of the East
Greatly preferred the option of run or die
To the alternative, serve the Soviet masters
To stay behind, starve and/or hide

This is a photo of a representative of the East German military, sprinting for freedom. Many East Germans died sprinting for freedom. And not just a few Soviet Russians, Poles, White Russians and Ukrainians tried, many did, failing in doing so.  But some survived. Even as longed to help, almost none of the soldiers of the Western Democracies could do anything to help, reaching that side provided relative freedom. Of course the question asked of the East, was if you offer paradise and great equality and rights, why do so many people risk death or injury to escape?

My Father, not every lesson is happy, yet every person can pursue hope

His father left the home, age 6, to spend his life drinking
And my father thereafter was passed around the family
He didn't stay long anywhere, and with no father figure
He could have chosen to feel abandoned, but he didn't
He did long for his real father, and had started life slowly
But he was a fighter, no one in his back corner, only blood
He'd learned that love had changed him, he was now ready
He broken the family chain of alcohol, waves of addiction 
While those living with some his traits found them hurtful
He still provided, loved, with a dream for the perfect life

Viking fan
48 year married to my mom
And a believer

Don't assume the worst

My well of life, didn't come with birth
Nor is it from family either, for reasons
It comes from the little hope I've inside
That I might see humans find their truth
Unlike me, for all my life I was a curse
Until redeemed of my being, by love
No longer a slave to fear, to self hatred
I was told I had more than hope, worth
Forced born of rape, hated of my being
Not by family, but by the world's view
Being a bastard, a curse, a foul being
I found love, and in that, life was new
The judgment of fools never injured me
It isn't that I didn't notice, but still
So I raise a banner, for my great King
And accept the grace he offers
For I do not deserve this
But it will save my life

If war is the answer, what the hell is the question?

A land, bigger than earth, with more oceans
Built in the elements and applied by sorcery
One tribe was constantly feared, over the look
The Imakrak were alive, yet looked tired, and dull
Here were the beautiful, smooth, glorious trees
Burned memories and fallen heroes part of the wall
Surrounded by cliff walls, and columns of obsidian
Those outer rings would now be called the stone spears
Why were such unique forms allowed such a paradise
The answer is simple, they never knew their fortune
For they longed to sleep on desert sands, for cool
And sleep uncovered beneath that desert moon
They lived for adventure, to enjoy, also to create
The planet holding them, didn't have sides in rivalries
But these two most dangerous folk in permanent
The Imakrak tall, heavily muscled, mottled black skin
To fight a clever enemy to demonstrate their skills
The Imakrak were not fools, bright and pursued ideas
They'd settle into a space, or on the ground
But they'd also sleep for long stretches
And from the insulation were dull gray
The natural armor protective
But for little effect against the Langhos
Langhos were a tiny people, built slenderly
They seemed a gremlin, of a non-malicious nature
In a huge, majestically beautiful world, so small
No one usually noticed them all, if not looking
For along with intelligence, each gifted with agility
Each taller than monkeys but warriors, if small
Also loving, compassionate and bright
Each possessed an awful temper, when needed
The Langhos were fast, agile, leapt as well
Whoever they faced, they could instead flee
Instead, they preferred to dance with opponents
Or face their foe's sword until story ended
If a dragon or giant, or roaming land turtle
The fight would be truly epic and bestial
As the world of Arhüne is a wild one
When giants, dragons and dwarves fight
Two groups benefit from that vile action
Elves and humans are kind to each other
Wars for them are ignored, but not others
Until they might find and destroy a dragon
One of the lesser dragons of the lineage Volt
Even as the weakest, and youngest dragon
Were eager to best the most dangerous prey
But dragons upon a world built by dragons
Despite the complexity, the deeper unknowns
To be powerful, but not understand the utility
To be strong but not strong enough to be
On this land
Arhüne was peaceful when not dangerous
Kind, or gentle when not insulted
A dangerous realm this planet was
A task not simple for the size, planning
The Dragons mastered Dragon's isle
How did the dragons grasp such power?
No one upon Arhüne knew
But over time, they would

Sacred Earth

Our sacred Earth is alive, verdant, lush in depth
Oceans and mountains, blue skies brings breath
Valley green, filled with life, the beauty reflects
Somehow we never perceived our great fortune
The world we were generously given is unique
How can we act as if we deserve such grace
How can we ignore our future, a quest to seek
A way for all to share in the riches, embrace

The World we Give to our Children

I breathe in, the air polluted, the water filled with permanent damage
I breathe out, into air of a world in deep decay, we've killed our world
But what maddens me, isn't that fools do foolish things, that is normal
Yet when we've been warned for over a century that acts of our doing
Will destroy our home, for elite, for the poor, for the kind, for the evil
The entirety of our fate, inheritance, is from a hubris, a charnel house
In few years, nature will retake dominance, and humans be erased
Perhaps for the better, we've been selfish, malicious and fools
With but one blue green planet in sight, we'll destroy it, and flee
Hoping to find a new home, far from here, and memories

For now, Alone

I looked in vain, as you weren't there
But I noticed something, very strange
Everywhere you had been, flourished
Plants grew wherever you had stepped
I saw miracles, stones turned to water
A scent in the air was forever lavender
In Heaven, I'd never been so astonished
For to be in this place, I would be alone
But I was going to wait, for the reunion
We all will be dead, but the spirit rises
Every saint transformed, from the flesh
To spirit matter, a world without pain
To a form of creation, without stain

To Harvest from Failed Crops

I was once told by a potential employer
Your IQ is far too high to be useful here
I don't have a high IQ, if you were asking
He made no sense to me, empty headed
He said you have to be entertained easily
I'll admit, on that, he had dead center aim
George Carlin said the very same thing
Keep our children smart enough to work
Never smart enough to think for our self
Should we lower the standards, for them
So none are left behind, left on the shelf
I walked out of the interview and I knew
I am no genius, but they don't want them
They don't even want people near that
They want zombies, working for brains
They need wage slaves, ignoring the pain
I refuse to do this, but understand why
The owners have all the advantages
We just have to work until we die

I am the last of my family

DNA is meaningless
Life is not proof of a thing
We are families by love
Existence is no test
The curse of death is universal
But for the one who saves
Our beings protected by angels
For we play a visceral
Flesh born game of chess

I am sorry for my readers who do not read French, but as it is a statement about multiple deep ideals, and Albert Camus and others similar speak my soul, I let their language express what I mean, even if it is poorly worded, as French is not my first language.  And when spoken it is barely understood by me.

It isn't meant to express that I am of a higher intellect or morality, it is to pay homage to my family, and to my faith and my human life philosophers.

Click the image to make it large.

Love means...

What does it mean, to actually say I love you
Does it imply anymore than a sexual interest
Is it sacred or true, does it leave you hollowed
Does your heart break if it is not returned in kind
If so, what is the reward, versus the pain inside
Is it meaningless, absurd, to have a need undefined
I only know I knew immediately who I loved
And had she said no, I'd have rather died

Dear Father, Please call

Great father, you knew
I was deep in the abyss
My creator and my maker
I was in that great chasm
Filled only of complete darkness
I was tired, exhausted of hope
Thinking I can't go on any longer
I knew my cold gray flesh dying
Leaving long before it was time
Every dream is fading, unfulfilled
Despite my depression and sorrow
I understand you knew I was there
Even ready to save me, waiting
So with just a word, I might be saved
Yes my gray flesh means nothing
My spirit is my being, it is all
It is ready for you to take it
Now just waiting for the call

The Dilemma

At the end of the event, one will see glory
But for all the others it'll be complete ruin
One will rise in victory, while feeling joy
As the other will see only a coliseum floor
Made free by his act, he'll run across dunes
As survivors enslaved, now rich men's toys
Because they were forced to fight in armor
For the spectacle of enjoyment of a crowd
Neither wanted to fight, nor sought to harm
In Rome the games were enjoyed, allowed
Despite the acts in an arena, degrading them
And the violence doesn't ennoble, destroys
Soon after the crowd is sated by violence
The fall of the Empire will come soon
For the spectacle was a distraction
Meant to hide the decay happening
Of a noble people, now turned fools