I found Him in the shining of the stars,I marked Him in the flowering of His fields,
But in His ways with men I find Him not.
I waged His wars, and now I pass and die.
Idylls of the King (1856–1885) by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
In my mother's womb I knew and understood. A destiny waited for me. I would become king. My father Uther was a warrior and of his deeds others sing. However, being an able warrior is but a small portion of the duties of the monarch.
Merlyn taught me to seek justice, to earn the trust of the people of the land. I had to understand that wisdom, love and courage are the traits necessary to be king. I had to seek truth, be courageous, be generous in love. I was called to become more than a man, to lead our people.
But we were in a dark age, not one people, but many different tribes unwilling to find unity. The land was mine to protect. With the people I sought to inspire joy. I was taught to live and to fight, with honor.
The consequence of my decisions have caused my kingdom to die. I allowed my heart to hold grievances, to begrudge others their success. I allowed my flesh to yearn for others, and to ignore my own Queen.
The walls of Camelot fallen. The tipped over towers no longer reach towards the sky. Yes I was mistaken, I had believed that this kingdom would ever be. But lust yearns in me. By far stronger than the code I was taught.
I will die
Camelot will bleed
But I will return
My heart burning
Because Merlyn told me
Only the future
Will redeem me