Sometimes I would
That is the truth
But yes I am alive
Shaking off these feelings
That somehow
I might survive
This wave of hope
That allows me
To feel
Again
Perhaps I'll be redeemed
By some righteous love
Or instead
I'll be shredded
By some merciless lust
That rips right through me
Tearing away my defenses
Leaving me worse
For the moment
Of imagined pleasure
With an imagined lover
Without the torment
Of begging to die
Just so I can go away
And forget all my crimes
I never did
For fuck sake
Every day
