The Moment of Transformation

The cycle of growth means losing the former self
And graduating to a new form
Change is constant
Growth is not
Change can be positive, but it can also mean harm
Growth means learning
Knowing
Growing in maturity
I long to be a butterfly
And shed my skin for wings
But I cannot find a proper
Cocoon

"The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed."
Jiddu Krishnamurti

I need, I want, I believe, Are not the same

Reality rages around me, sometimes despite me
Despite my best wishes
I want to be rich, handsome, famous
I want to be beloved, a poet of the ages
But I can only do what I am doing
And only can have done what is done
I don't believe that by believing I make things real
Reality plays its own part as writer, director, actors
But I believe that there is more to life than this stage
It is not an act of creation, but an act of awareness
I believe eternity exists, but I don't know what it is
I cannot explain, not at will or upon demand
Not from the limits of my flesh cage
I believe the cold, damp, grave awaits some
Heaven and Hell are beyond what I understand
But in the deepest part of my being
I know there is a soul
I know there is a God
And I know God is the architect of this reality
I know this by belief, not by seeing
But I know

Walking In Tall Grass Fields In Thrace

When I could move again
Without bleeding through
I made the effort
To say goodbye to them
Walking in the morning
Sun burning the mists
The light beginning to shine
To reveal a horrific scene
In the fields of our victory
I had a chance to see the them
Their bodies now just more than bones
The heroes having died were laid
Before their souls went home
The grasses of the fields
Grown tall all around them
I looked at each body
I remembered their names
I was the soul survivor
I was all alone
What kind of dreams do they now dream
In the sleep of the dead
What kind of world do they know
Instead of laying in fields
Colored red

Destiny Wrought

Born to a world rich in beauty
He saw only the darkness
Of the night
Sleeping
While worlds came into existence
He slept deeply
And dreamed a new creation
Into being
Darkness his destiny
The cataclysm awakened
The child born to beauty
Begot oblivion
The fires of death
Were the fires of the furnace
That melted the metals
To build the walls
Of civilization

Adam waited

In that place
Of emerald beauty
There the world was small
I was told by his Majesty
The plants and animals were mine
To watch over
I gave names to them all
They were my companions
I was waiting in the garden
Alone for so long
My heart was lonely
It was hardening in sorrow
I looked upon this beauty
And saw none who looked as me
I was a beast but without cubs
I was without something I
Couldn't explain but haunted me
Inside
When the King came to see
I told him
My heartbreak
And he saw that
Gave me one
Who I now knew
Fulfilled me inside
Tears rolled down
For I was complete
She was made of flesh
Looked more beautiful
Than all the garden held
And was my companion
There

John Hinckley Jr. March 30th, 1981

The insane are allowed to kill
Allowed to be different
Because their minds are broken
They hear messages
Into their brain, sent
By voices
Guiding their choices
To be the avatar of death

wherever death finds them

Every massacre has a list of dead
Every death has a memory of life
Every loss diminishes this world
The living are left with memories

We haven't learned our history
How many are taken before their time
Their lives a testament to human cruelty
Is this our full and final legacy

Whatever the cause whatever the number
Humanity is waiting for the next disaster
Humans are a catastrophe in progress
Waiting our chance to the final dance

Disease and war, greed and hate
Humans have yet to overcome
So we wait

Breaking

Nothing that anyone can say can free me
Nothing that anyone can do can make it better
If the pain is from within and away from the reach of medicines
But if medicines can help you can be sure they have a toll
Nothing good is without such a wage and must be paid or pain is in control

Love Unto Exhaustion

Loving someone means walking against the storm winds
Life doesn't give you a break because you love
Instead, we have to push on whatever the cost
Or the fire of love is extinguished
And all you face is loss
Love is a commitment to another
Whatever the wages you have to pay
Love means you surrender
To their needs because you care
Until you break

If Eternity is real

“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.”
Lao Tzu

We strive to live but also to escape death
But if eternity is real
They are a cycle
Meant for some purpose
Every second ticking
Every living breath
Is meant to teach us something
This temporal existence fades
But the eternal one grows
The body grows old
The flesh grows cold
Here is not meant to be permanent
Now is the next moment of the past
Death is to be welcomed
When the time is bold
And the next step taken
Is into the unknown

Arouses my senses

When I hear her voice
I feel safe
I feel warm
We have a bond that is rare

I love her scent, it moves me
She is all female
I know her scent by memory
Her passion is in the air

Her beauty amazes me
She is amazing
I am spellbound
When I am in her lair

Her kisses taste of honey, and chocolate
And love exquisite to the taste
She is passionate, adoring with kisses
When I am with her there

Her touch heals me
She feels me
Her fingers know me
And I know she cares

She arouses all my senses
Like no other could ever
She moves my heart by her being
She lowers my defenses
She soothes me
Makes me whole
By her presence
She completes me
Gives me
Everything
I need

We Multiply

Unto this earth we have been given
Life
When the Adam was made for the land
Earth was given
Life
And to create is an act
That reflects the creator
And we now create
Life
How many will be created
Before life means nothing
But existence
Followed by death

When the Ravens Grieve

Since our dawn, they've been our companions
They watched us fall, they witnessed our victories
Without judgment, simply curious
Without impatience, they've seen it all
And when they grieve we should notice
They are impossible to surprise
They know our flaws
They've a wealth of experience to draw upon
They grieve for the approaching storms
When human-kind
Answers Armageddon's call
Far too soon
Out of time
With ample warning
Ignored

Proof

The first proof I had
That God loved me
Was when I met you
I don't know how we survived the trials
We suffered so much together
But you are my proof
You stood by me
You held my hand
And were true
When every other person
Would have faded away

Love without games

The night is long in winter
Even in the deserts
Of Arabia
My lover waits there
Perfumed hair
Exquisite flesh
She sleeps upon a rug
Laid down
Over the desert floor
She waits for my approach
For I am hers alone
I love her to my very core
She has called my soul
By its secret name
And she knows me
Deeply
Truly
She is uncovered
But not undone
She is nude
But I am tamed
By her naive glances
At my being
She loves me
But she plays no game
No rules learned
No previous encounters
With other men
She is primal and filled with joy
In the act of love
I am taken in
Given over to emotions
Men rarely show
To others

I Was Here

People rewrite history
They purposely remember false things
They ignore reality in favor of ease
But I was here
I would have been aborted
If I'd been conceived 10 years later
I would have been consumed
My flesh destroyed and scattered
But I exist now
And I was here
I refuse to stop
For your convenience

Looking downward

Trying to escape
I ran from the lighted world
And trudged deep into a cave
The darkness was not silent
It was also damp, and humid
But the living world was far away
I walked until I couldn't
Eventually tripped
Falling forward upon the cave floor
I re-lit the torch I had been using
And looked at what had made me fall
It was the half buried skull
Of something, someone human
The back of the head had been smashed
The brains probably eaten
And I wondered for my safety there
But I didn't care
What does it matter should I disappear
And become food for some beast
Or cannibal tribe
So I walked until I saw light
From the outside world
And didn't think again
About dying

In the presence of evil

Perhaps the devil exists,
Sitting upon his throne
Before a lake of fire
In the deepest caverns of Hell
Surrounded by corpses of bone
Dead children undesired
And the burning smell
Of acrid flames

But I am uncertain
We know his name
We know his role
But I think
He is there as a nemesis
There to torment us
Meant as a symbol
Of the worst of our behaviors
And nature

I am sure evil exists
I am sure there is a hell
I am just uncertain it is a place
Made by God
Rather
The devil is sort of Savior
Made by our worst side
So we won't burn alone
In a place of our making

Within the Walls of Perfectia

Beneath the graceful straight lines
That nature could never provide
Our minds and flesh grow
Without the outflow
Of dreams and lives
Of wasted time


Perfectia requires our submission
Our nation is our mission
We bow before the elite machine
Of steel, motion, and oily sheen



The steam rises from the vents
The power churns within
The human cogs are at work
From boiler men to office clerks
We move about these lives
Never seeing the morning light


But we obey and serve the master of Perfectia
Steel and steam is its name

Rocks at your window

You didn't answer my phone calls
Respond to my emails
Reply to my texts
Or notice the snowballs
Hitting your window
So I threw a rock
Instead
Sorry about that.

Never question the Queen

We are each unique
We are made to be free
We are complete and worthy
To be the queen
Who commands the hive

We must go serve the queen
For ours is a life of service
Working for her pleasure
Her enjoyment and happiness
Is our treasure

She is our only thought
We are her drones
Going to work is our way
She is our only hope
She is our home

Without fuel

The fire burns until the wood becomes ash
It was never meant to go on
It wasn't supposed to last
But love isn't that way
Isn't truly like flame
Because it is spiritual
Being in love, itself
Makes it burn
Forever
It can never be tamed

She Dances Before the King

In the winter air
She dances nude
In complete devotion
To the king of despair
He is silent to her offerings
She is devout in her faith
While her children sing praise
To the king
She moves in trance
In the cold, midnight dark
A beautiful scene
Solemn
This dance
Serene
Witnessed only
By the stars
Moon
And her heart

As for me, I exist

Je désire être avec toi
I long for you
My soul cries alone
Watashi Wa
I exist
But without you
What can I do
I've endured
Sorrow my life's wage
I've been tortured
I go on
But I long for you
Endless are my days
Searching for the truth
For some morsel of proof
That my longing
Will be assuaged

I am hollow

I am hollow before her
She sees no skin, just soul
Her eyes see through me
Piercing my insecurities
Viewing my depravities
Knowing my legacies
I am unable to control
My heart under her gaze
And I long for her
To make me whole

Silent Screams

If life has no purpose
If existence has no meaning
If all there is is pain
Absurdity and insanity rule
Screaming is the game
Words are useless
Ideas are simply splatters
Of noise
A game played without joy
With no winner, only losers
Why suffer guilt or shame
If in the end
Nothing matters

Ares, We are your slaves

He doesn't call to us but we answer
He doesn't care if we worship his name
Ares, the god of blood vengeance and war
Has a will, and a way
His spear bloodies his opponents
Slashes the entrails, separates the viscera
His actions leave no scars
For none survive
To live another day
Frenzied lust for killing
Over takes society
No one leaves here alive
None ever leave

Red Star, Black Cross

Enemies at birth
Bolshevism
Fascism
A titanic struggle
To be witnessed with awe
Steel versus steel
Titan versus titan
Leviathans in battle
Only one could win

A Patriot lays there

The Nazi machine of war
Drove steadily to the fields
Where they could strangle their enemies
Millions died
Unburied corpses turning black
Some surrendered, some collaborated
But some resisted, Partisans attacked
Zoya Kosmodemyanskaya burned a stable
Where the Nazis kept their cavalry's horses
She was caught, she was hung
But before they killed her she said
"You'll hang me now, but I am not alone.
There are two hundred million of us.
You can't hang us all."
She died
Left hanging in the winter air
Frozen
And some of the soldiers cut her body down
Cut off one of her breasts
And otherwise mutilated her corpse
But she still lived
For her words stirred her people
And they refused to go
To their deaths quietly

I dream, but it will never be

There are dreams to have
That bring you comfort
That bring the long dead
Back to life
Some dream of riches
Gold, silks and perfumes
Caviar, fur coats and servants
Luxury and pleasure
Such treasures
Are not for me
I dream of her
But it will never be
For the words from my lips
Cannot be heard
She dances in the past
To music I cannot hear
Seductive and longing
She is perfect
But beyond my grasp
So I dream of her
But
Dreams are capricious
With whims of their own
And in the absence of her
I am left alone

There are beasts in the night

Whether covered in fog
Or the cloak of darkness
The night is crowded
With predatory beasts
Those that hunt
Are not in nature
Nor wild
But rather
They hunt society's least
Perhaps innocent
Perhaps unlucky
But vulnerable
The children
The elderly
The women who sell their body
The beast within men
Causes them to prey
And the monsters
Of the night
Are the human stain

shrouds cover the white

soft and gentle
lost without a care
the mist has fallen over the field
where the long since dead sleep
covered in snow, from winter
the scene looks more like a dream
than a nightmare

I Rise

Baptized in unholy waters
Bathed in the sins of the past
None looking down upon me
Show me any grace
Leaving me to drown
But I rise
Swimming in the cesspool
My lungs are flooded
I lift my hand for help
I am pushed down instead
I am left for dead
But I rise
Just one thing that matters
And I still believe
At the bottom of the sea
Lungs filled with sewage
And salt water
I cannot breathe
But I rise
Because I believe
And will not be denied

Loss

(Photo credit Kessiye at http://flickr.com/photos/30823810@N00/170894085 )

Lost generations
Tortured souls
Bones piled high
Slaughtered like beasts
But they were human
Lands and dignity stolen
By greedy hands
By dirty hands
That killed without remorse
Hiding their deeds without shame
Genocide
Hate filled core
Victims became the blame
And responsibility for the crimes
Were ignored
And it continues
And will continue
Until mankind is restored
Either by fire
Or renewal
Inside

Remembering the lost
Native Americans
Armenians
Jews
Rwandans
Cambodians
Bosnians
Ukrainians

In death, In life

Some things are temporal
Others transcend
Beauty exists eternal
Flesh meets end
Death consumes Life
The serpent swallows the tail
And the circle is complete
Joy and strife
Victory and defeat
To triumph and to fail
All is a moment
In the eye of the eternal's gaze
For the truth is greater
The reality goes far beyond
All we perceive
Whether we trust or distrust
Whether we believe it
Or think it will deceive us
Reality exists
Beauty is eternal
And the cycle is perfect
Life is glorious
Death is triumphant
And birth renews us
And death takes us
Back to the cycle
That exists

Don't be broken, Take my hand

Staring at the scene
Catastrophe
He left in such a mess
Nobody wins
Your heart was broken by him
Your soul is in distress
He didn't love you
Like you loved him
And now he has taken away
What you gave, again
So take my hand
Let me help
I can't take away the pain
But I can tell you something
If it is up to me
You'll never feel it again
I can't watch it any more
While your soul is crushed
Your heart is shattered
Take my hand
I will remain
I love you to the core
As a friend
As a man
As a lover
Whatever you wish
I am here
And I will stand
Next to you
Forever

Crush me, make it hurt

Slap me
Steal me
You are lovely
Soft and white
Lovely curves
Captured in leather
Chained in eros
To my heart
Enslave me
Crush me
Take control
Make it hurt
Eros dark
Tattoo your name
Across my soul

No Peace

There will be no peace
The rewards of war guarantee
The future will be scarred
With hunger, fear and bleeding
Our own children will inherit
A dying planet
Killed by humanity
By our lust and greed

I'm Hungry

The buffet is a lesson for the American people
Lavish in the bounty of the earth
All we can eat
While others are cursed.

A Fire - inside me

I am alone outside
Walking upon the beach
Alone, since you've gone
And I am thinking
About you
My love for you will never die
It is unable to be quenched
Nothing quells its reach
A forest fire of desire
Within my heart inside
I long for you
Want to be with no one but you
And will wait forever
For you to decide
For no one moves me
Like you move me
I was born to be with you
Together
When I look into the sky
I see you there
You never leave
You remain here by my side
Forever
Near
In my heart

Beauty

I am a being
Organic and bound
By the cage of self
I confess that I am unworthy
That I am unable to be more
Than flesh and lust
Meat and dust
I make unholy the most sacred ground
Simply by standing
But when I see her from a distance
I do not know her name
Her movements are a dance
Wild and unadorned
Free and unashamed
Beauty exists in every form
But in her it is abundant
In her it exalts
She is unmoved by wealth
Her spirit is untamed
She exists to love
Naive to obsessions
Naive to possession
She exists in perfection
And all that is a beautiful
Bows before her
She is queen
And high above the rest

Paradise was lost

Paradise was a place lost to the world
With exquisite beauty and peaceful scenes
With glorious mountains and streams
Poseidon established it
And built the city of concentric circles
To make it great
A place of legends, it was
Atlantis
A place of dreams



But it was not just for the gods to linger in
Humans shared this place
For the gods longed for company
Their generous gifts were uncounted
The beauty came directly from grace
There were few rules but those were iron clad
No slaves were held, no wars fought
But not long since their arrival
The humans became bored
For perfection and morals
Did not excite them



And soon they overthrew the gods
Cast off the rules
Gathered gold and went to war
For they meant to be gods themselves
And other humans, in a lesser state
Were but fools
Atlantean galleys and triremes cut through the seas
Their soldiers took slaves
Made them cook, clean, and serve
Unlike their own freedom
The rest of humans were not meant to be free



But as high as they placed themselves
Atlantis would soon come down
Eventually the angry gods returned
And cast down those who had rebelled
Covered the land with waves
And all of the glory was drowned
Only to be seen in memory
Legends and history
Today only the ravens watch
Where this land used to be

Asylum for the Madness

Sent away for my difference
Alone in this crowd of fools
Left to soak in the misery
Because I refused their decadence
So many imbeciles to watch
He eats his own feces
She mumbles and laughs at ghosts
None watch the clock
Ticking away our days
We are studied by a doctor
Writing his grand thesis
He is our great host
Watching us grow worse
Watching our madness grow
Without treatment
We are without reason
Our minds are out of time
Ruled by the demons inside
The voices come out
The misery seeps
Time to take my nap
Time to sleep forever
My dreams seem normal to me
But they would
Untouched as they are
By insanity's reach

Thunder

I still feel his thunder
I still cringe for the following strike of the bolt
I heard the anger in his voice
And made quick inventory and wonder
If I made a mistake
Or just randomly struck a nerve
But the mercurial nature
Of unrequited anger
Or rage
Is hard to fathom
Especially as a child wondering
What he might deserve

Our Greek World

The tides of the sea
Brought Persians to Marathon
Where the shores
Were defended by Athenians
Outnumbered in this war
10 to 1
But numbers and odds
Though boding ill
Did not matter
Athenians fought upon that beach
For one thing
The future of the Greek nations
And the cost of such
Is beyond calculation
Let the future commend the past
For its survival

The Titans, Children of Gaia and Uranus

They were hated by their father
The titans were born
To mother earth Gaia
Immediately to be scorned by Uranus
He set himself to fix upon his children
Anger and disgust
Enmity and rage
Cursed them with indifference
And Uranus was brought low
By Chronos
Aided by Gaia
And castrated him
Throwing his seed to the oceans
Creating a cycle
For Uranus was set down by Chronos
And Chronos set down by his child
Zeus
And Zeus will be set down
By mankind
Never tamed
Still wild

The Way

It isn't about the rules although they exist
It isn't about how strong you are
Or how many men you've defeated
You are responsible for yourself
In the final tally of worth
And the Way of how you follow
The Way of how you resist the world
Are all the proof
The path is in fact narrow
But there are many paths
We bring through diversity
A myriad of ways
Finding that one you create
Is worthy
No matter who much others deny it
Your life, your way is how you define it

It could be anything

Why assume it could be anything Unless there is reason and evidence Coincidences happen Chance and random events Are far more likely the answer They make more sense Than to assume something Could be there And we could hear it But then again then again

Colored and Caged

My views are encased in my experiences
Caged and colored by my limited visions
I can only know by my senses
And by learning from a distance
My mind is not infinite
My imagination is not limitless
I am flawed by the flesh that makes me
But am perfect within by the spirit

Fires

Your friendship warmed my soul
In deepest winter
You knew my heart and mind
To the point of my being whole
Fulfilled by your presence
Your place in my life
Is without peer
And I love you

Closing it tight

Stop having emotions
Stop believing in anything
Be silent in the face of questions
Silence your thoughts
And once you've begun
You are on your way to bliss
Paradise exists
Solely in the ability
To be accepted
Without resisting
By having your own views
Or speaking them

Chiron, A teacher of heroes

Born of a tryst between Chronos and a nymph
Chiron was unlike any other centaur
Noble, wise, kind, and skilled
A resource for human warriors
And an example for his kin
His archery was perfect
His teaching sublime
Time after time he proved
He was different than men
Being more humane
Despite retaining
The form
That marked him as wild
Perhaps cruel or capricious
Moved by whims
He taught the finest of the heroes
Of the golden age
Time and tides went by
None surpassed his ways



When he died and left for the stars
His form was seen
As the archer

I Am

Faith is more than reading
More than living
More than wisdom
More than knowledge
More than belief something exists
It is the grounding of a being
And all actions flow from within
So I believe but more
I trust that there is a point to the fight
My resistance to vice
To sin
Has validity
I have a reason to be

Mystery of Earth

We are told there is an answer for every question
If we think hard enough, if we look deep enough
They say that upon Easter Island the statues
Were made for prestige, to achieve status
While deforesting the island
And thereby killing society's self
But if true
And I don't know that
There are far more questions left
Such as who were they trying to please
What were they hoping to do
Once their status was secured
I don't know enough to say
But I know it was far more than
The scientists will be able to discern