Sunday, September 26, 2010

I Was Lost

I served in the royal bodyguard
She was the daughter
Of the highest of high
The Shahenshah
She was so beautiful
I couldn’t bear being
Near her, without her
Holding her and devouring
Her kisses her lips
Melting my spirit
Embracing the love
That would occur
So I rode from the glory that was Persia
To distant lands

My steps took me to the India
Through the rivers where Alexander rode
His cavalry into enemy spears
Through these strange lands
Filled with people
Full of despair and hope
Heat and exotic things
In multitude of languages
I could never understand
Naked men praying
Wise men in robes
Singing and swaying
Though holy, they could not heal
My heart still burned
Though I never revealed its wounds

I served for a time
As a mercenary for various lords
And spent a tour in Bhutan
Where the dragons live
Mountainous lands
Beautiful and peaceful
Serene and hopeful
Truly blessed by the dragons
A blessed reign
I served defending the throne
Against bandits
From distant plains
But grew weary
For I still remembered
What I could not have

So for moment in my life
I took down my sword
Packed my armor
And pursued the Buddha
In Angkor Wat
Where the mysterious unravels
Inside the mind
And I sought to reject my flesh
Reject my living thoughts
Replace them with serenity
Free myself of this world
Of thoughts of her
But years passed slowly
The world still turned
And inside my heart
I still burned
For her

I took up the sword again
And left the lessons behind
And served a leader of Chung Kuo
We call it China,
They called it the Middle Kingdom
We watched as the rivers rose
And the people fought together
As nature took its toll
But they also sought freedom
And that was my hardest task
Enemies from the reaches
I can move against
But the people of the land?
The demands of the Emperor
I follow
But doubt sways my hand

I longed for more
Since my memories lingered
In the arms of a woman in Persia
Gloriously beautiful Persia
But in comparison to her eyes
A dark, ugly place of sorrow

I left Chung Kuo on a northern ride
And joined the horse warriors
Of the Khan
Small horses
Rode by squat warriors
Freely vulgar
Who lived in squalor
But possessed riches
They’d ridden the reach
From far Japan to Rome
And now their country
Was small, but they possessed
The ability to act
Quickly, swiftly they rode wild
Living by hunger, action and thirst
If any tribe were to lead
Theirs would have to be amongst the first

I’d aged 5 years in my journeys
And I learned about myself
About my hopes and fears
But there was too much left
Inside my heart
Even if I freed my mind

I took work as a crewman
On a trader ship
That had to stop in Japan
I can speak to its beauty
I can tell you it is unique
But for the most part
It was unfathomed
Impossibly insular
With warriors and peasants
Laws and peculiar views

When the ship left
We spent months
At the sea
But finally we returned
To the beauty of Persia
And I faced my sorrows and fears
The high one was still in power
And I offered my sword
In fealty
Whatever the cost
Still bowing
I heard a sweet voice
Welcoming me home
She said
Through tears
She thought I had been lost