I'm not worried about tomorrow, nor fear the present day
I see the future as unwritten, with unpromised guarantees
Why look back, what is lingering enough for us to be slain
Surrender, give in, lay down my resistance and remember
A past is gone, the future is opaque, distrust coming days
The evidence is gone, documents are shredded, no proof
We beg our creator to help us, and soon we find the truth
This life is not for our pleasure, but learn to find our way
AI and our germ warfare, robotic replacements
DNA, Plague, and finding violence entertains
We're devouring our young, teaching them to die
Rather than face truth, fear makes you never try
I've no answers, my flesh in a state of decaying
All I've inside is cancer, and a world betraying
With no wisdom to share, I am simply waiting
I must sign the document, while they find a needle
Taking me from the stacks of the waiting to die
I do not let tears fall from either eye
This is my fate, let them feed upon me
Let my flesh be their reward, while I find mine
Saying that he is so sorry but that's the way it goes
Like ripping your arm off and saying that must hurt
Don't let the bad behaviors become simple mistakes
Cruelty cannot be rewarded, it can't be paid forward
And even worse, if its a habit, you're an accomplice
For the person hurting you, abusing, and bruising
Lost in fear, nothing you wouldn't do for it to stop
He'll say his sorry, while splitting your lip in two
All the while you are saying thank you so much
You are complicit, because you know the truth
He hasn't changed, and never will
No one is perfect, but who'd actually want to be
If you're broken, dreams unfulfilled or forgotten
Remember that there's no measure for success
If told you're blind, your inner vision still sees
Even upon your knees, let none call you fallen
You've dreams you can accomplish, be special
No one can deny to you, what you know to be
The truth exists, as do you, let no one steal
The special creation of life that you are
Let your living truth be fully revealed
Dedicated to Alisha for teaching me
something special about life
And Jeff for showing me the path
You chased my heart, but there wasn't one chance
You were made of something different, if human
Thoughts so different and ugly, I could not do it
I will always refuse offers of rewards
When we met it wasn't an accident
Not by chance, no circumstance
I can't assume you being in my life a revolution
All the crazy things you've said, I've forgotten it
Just being near you, made me want to wash me
For now, keep your distance, and find another
For all those words said, will kill and smother
No more final chances, I've learned my lesson
You are madness defined and now finished
You are not a friend, not my family
No, you called my family stupid
But you clearly didn't know my mother
And you have never been my brother
Good bye, forever, just be gone
You said you've tried to be better
You have abilities in this life, so do it
But you are dead to me, and have been
You might have to go a different route
To find your path back to me
Or beg and be spurned
What is there in life aside from the pain
What is there aside from burnt remains
How long I've spent in this damned place
Life is an asylum, but so are these walls
The bleeding, the breaking, the lying
The distinction of being in a robe, crying
Searching for my corner, in a round room
The pain of the abandonment, the shame
Of never being allowed to be, who I am
Flesh rots here, with no love, only pills
Called wild, when what I am is untamed
My mind has gone insane, life is a sham
There is nothing allowed, but silence
No walls only padding, crushing my soul
Writing poems with just bleeding fingers
Hidden inside, from the strangers
And robbed of my senses, by the quiet
Ball gagged and drugged to never speak
Stared at, beaten, bloodied, just a freak
I deeply wish that I'd not promised
Never kill myself, or leave by my hand
What I have instead, is a mental prison
Of my mind, inside, I must withstand
But know, I cannot
I've had so many times when I wanted to be dead
Rather than the person dying, offering me instead
Life and death doesn't work in a transactional way
It seems like my prayers don't matter, as betrayed
And that includes everyone I've lost, in life so far
I connect in depth, I give all those I love my heart
And never stop loving, but my life will go forward
What is there if all you love is gone to their reward
If I'd a list to share, of all who I loved who I cared
I have nothing left, I have nothing inside, but hurt
Arriving at the end of the road
If my life is over, dream ended, all is will be dirt
She could've ripped my heart out, blamed me for not having empathy
The trail of my blood being even longer than that of my streaming tears
I loved her from first glance, she made it seem like it was a first dance
I trembled as she touched me, I touched her softly, sweetly, genuinely
When it was over she'd not let go, I took in my first breath, I went slow
In this world its one first time as you experience bliss, you grow
The final time you do, lose your memory of it, a craved delicacy
My first passionate moment, if you don't count sentiment or nostalgic
As time passed, so did my chance, to tell her how much I felt
My life turning to dust, and trying to hold upon that glory
Not lust, but grace, nothing dirty, but pure and divine
Alone for decades, now I found one to be mine
Alex Ness 2024©
A woman I know says I use the word love too much
That it should be reserved for most pristine moments
However she has been married now 9 fucking times
So what the hell does she know about love and such
Oops I swore, said the big bad one. But I actually do
I love all the people I said I loved. I think she is blind
Thinks affection is love. So she doesn't even know it
She who says never say it but in the most pure times
Doesn't have any, she just marries and hops on
The first thing that pops up to talk about
My intention is not to be vulgar
But marrying 9 times?
What a load of crap!
The flames of Hell exist in the mind already
Unworthy of the idea of being beyond them
I walk on despite fear for things I have done
My flesh has but one life, living with limits
But I stare into the sun, feel it upon my skin
Know that there is more to life, than survival
I consider myself so guilty for all sins within
My life must change, or I will be consumed
But can I do so or will I be fully condemned
This life isn't over, and if you think about it
We don't know about the other possibilities
Does physical form invite spirit to enter in
Or do union of egg and sperm create a link
From the outer realms of being to humanity
Do we know how a physical form was made
Does it require the spirit chosen to fit within
Or does everything live, then become dead
If so, for what purpose, why do we exist
Why do we assume light equals life
When sperm enters egg, light flares
Something is going on, something rare
You'd told them no, you've never
But the actual truth was different
In this reality, the answer was hidden
A personal wall of secrecy
You chose to leave, then sever
All bonds of family, parents
Abandoning love for obscenity
And as you'd spent 20 years
The world had truly used you
In every way they had feared
Those drugs made you able to
Do things they told you not to
And now, you have no choice
All you have is time, still left
The streets are hard, so cold
For your next fix
To feel nothing finally again
You'd sold everything you had
There was nowhere to run or go
But there were those still there
Holding you in a heart space
Holding you up in prayers
For your well being, safety
Yes, you couldn't hear them
But they were always there
And when you surrender
They'll take and hold you
Keeping you the safe place
Of their hearts and homes
So when you feel
Nowhere left to roam
It is either suicide
Or dying on the street
Remember them
They are waiting
For you to call
To call home
The masses walk, a form of rhythm and timing
Some are tired, many show signs of exhaustion
But every life's journey and the path is difficult
Will we be allowed to endure, or are we empty
Can't perceive our worth, blinded by a sun shining
Living in the darkness so long, we lose caution
To escape this world we'll search for a miracle
But all the while, never let another tempt thee
When I was young, unable and unwise
Still couldn't tie my shoes, cried easily
My brother taught me, he took his time
And he protected me from abuse
First school fight's foe, become a friend
He'd bloody knuckles, some blood mine
Life isn't easy for anyone, but we mend
He was abused, a parent used his flesh
As an ashtray, and whipped him daily
We don't get to choose who God uses
Teaching us how hard all others work
To do things some find easy, I find hard
I stumble and fall, my failures my call
We lose track, of all messages to send
Learn to love those who are wounded
My tears come for all who rise but fall
Life isn't for winning, it is for learning
It is for lessons about loyalty, and love
My friend died years ago and I miss him
He was helmet-less, riding a motorcycle
Going too fast, but he earned that right
His life was hard, and he wanted to fly
I learned over time, you get this one try
Then the cosmos take over, so transcend
And overcome, rise to reach the heavens
Giving help to the helpless
And a Voice to the voiceless
Life to the dying, the fading
Comfort to the crying, jaded
Jesus my rock, ground sacred
I wait to meet you, in spirit
Some fear judgment, fearing it
I want to be in the place, calm
Knowing my price was paid
Knowing my maker, ready
My spirit is wild, untamed
But I am on the path
I am not lost
God allows me to endure
For the way is pure
Even as I am not
There is victory at the cross
Courageous people survive, endure, find hope
These storms of life will wound or kill others
As clouds are dark, the inner fears are kindled
And who is to say what trauma may come still
Life preservers are words or thoughts, not rope
Many of our fears are false, memories smother
Hope otherwise, outlooks become splintered
Survival becomes a matter of personal will
Let yours flourish, become strong
Find and embrace hope inside
Don't worry if you are wrong
You'll find out one way
Or the other
Be the seed of victory
Be the weed that endures everything
Your dreams matter
You matter
You belong in this world
Now and forever
Hope is all we need
Celebrate your dreams
And live
I long to part the veil and see the reality
My bones, my breath, my mind, my life
In my dreams, time, health, I'll yet rise
This body's a cage, not the actual being
Life calls me to live beyond this flesh
Not the one who chooses circumstance
Questions and answers, a flesh answers
Not my choice, but a surrounding body
The prayers lifted, the power of being
Await the end but in victory, not defeat
Flesh will fail, life or death
All mysteries will be revealed
All the mirages lie to my eyes
So to see truth, it'll be joyous
And all I know, is that I believe
And truth awaits revealing
In a moment, I will see
And mysteries end
Forever end
A question without, perhaps, an answer, in a world of petroleum shortage, mow grass?
Why give a person who wants to commit suicide heart meds and /or cancer treatment?
Didn't they tell you that they wanted to die? That the life they have is something awry?
Why give tax credits for having children, if you want the overpopulation crisis to end?
Should government have a role in who can become married, then why do we let them?
Maybe I don't have the answer, I've only had cancer, but these are things that matter.
The night sky was pitch black, the moon was gone
Lost, I couldn't find my way, the path was tangled
Mist was rising, and a mournful sound of howling
I wanted to scream, but I feared a beast following
Mind went blank, terrified of a sort of hell spawn
What followed got closer, my screams strangled
I woke, and was alive, all the wounds healed
My clothing shredded, my flesh covered in fur
Where there'd been wounds, healed scars
The rest of my life was forever changed
I had become a loup garou
Now I'd be the predator
Next time it would be me
Chasing
Hunting
Killing
