I have had four mothers.
My DNA mother Donna gave me up for adoption, but came back after searching when I was 54 years old. I'm grateful to have met her and my DNA family. Abortion was illegal at the time, so I was supposedly safe, but have since learned depending on the reason, various doctors would do one and call it medically expedient, I know had she tried, I'd not exist today. I'm grateful she chose life.
My Adoptive mother Shirley would've walked through fire to keep me. For she had just adopted me and with my brother almost 3, was given her second likely terminal diagnoses of breast cancer. She beat it once, and a second time as well. She then lived a long, hardcore, 1st Generation American of German roots passed through Canada (Winnipeg) life.
My 3rd mother was my Auntie Joan. She was a successful woman, who raised four kids, became the earner of the household when my beloved Uncle Leo had Lupus and became disabled. She was also the kindest human I've ever met. Most every summer growing up my mother worked in Minneapolis and took my brother and I with her, to give my father a quiet month or more of summer. My brother and I felt more like siblings to our cousins.
But I had such fortune as to find a fourth mother, my wife's mother Ann. She was feisty, funny, earthy, and generous. She told stories of memories as when she was doing dishes during a normal day in MacKenzie BC Canada, and she heard ok it is my turn, she heard giggles, and a child went past her window going down head first into the ten foot snow drift in front of that window. They had lots of snow there. No one was hurt. And life was good. I love Ann, and did from the start. She supported me in so many ways, and while many mother in laws find fault with their child's spouse, Ann did so many generous and kind acts, if she didn't like me, she surely found ways to hide it. She passed due to an congestive heart failure, a long fight with infection, as well as a multitude of health issues through her life.
It might seem odd, but of my mothers, and mothers by circumstance, law, and affection, she is someone who didn't have to accept me, but did, and went out of her way to make my life, and thereby her daughter's, life better. I loved her and always will. I lost many people in my life over the last decade, and I have to say, it isn't easy losing those you care for. It is impossible in ways to accept, but unlike anything else, there is nothing whatsoever you can do to change the result. Farewell Ann. You were a wonderful Mom for your kids, and to all of those new husbands and wives who became like your own kids. Thank you for being there for me and making me one of the many you adopted as your own and letting me be loved.
