Hades Realm

When the dead depart
They follow a path
To the realms of the dead
Called the underworld
It is the land known as Hell
And in present ideology
It is a land of punishment
But Lord Hades is the master
Of a realm of the dead
Not merely the sinful dead
But all who have lost life
They are kept in darkness
Due to the location
Deep within the earth
As far below
As Heaven is high
Hades does not need worship
He exists without belief
He is able to be violent
But all of his nature
Is not wicked
For someone must rule
The land of the dead

Eyes closed

We look upon our world
With blinded eyes
In order that we might be able
Somehow, in some way
To see
We have committed deicide
Believing ourselves holy
But we are not
And we are not even redeemed
By the suffering
Because to die to our flesh
Brings heaven
To hold to our flesh
Leads to death
Once
For heaven's sake
Let us open our eyes
And become aware
Of the false promises
Of existence
And the perfect offering
Of eternal hope

Plowing

I saw a field of wheat
Waiting for the harvest
But at the beginning of the season
The creator's hand was offered
With seed and rain
And deep plowing
At this moment I was alone
And saw the end result
That no single grain could have known
No gathering would have avowed it
Yet to see it now
Was proof
The truth
And now I know
I tasted of the cup once
I caught the scent of the almighty
I saw the fool's paradise
Of fighting to be made perfect
In a place that does not allow it
We cannot see forever
Nor taste the whole
So we must trust and not pretend
That we are gods
Or that we are omniscient 

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."

Edmund Burke

The Sleeping Kingdom

In a lost and far away land
Where lavender and heather grew
Children innocently played
The greatest castles rose up
By great minds and expert hands
There, the morning dew
Had a special taste
Sweet upon the tongue
There the faeries danced
And deep inside they knew
Age comes with haste
Ending with dreams undone
Lovers walked upon the moors
Of the beautiful kingdom
And the king and his court led
By goodness and justice
Guards watched closely the shores
For it was a land without minions
The banner featured a dragon's head
Knights bore the symbol of their duchesses
Deeply set into the nation's core
The king was counseled by magicians
Their status found in ornate robes of red
Although feared, these seers were pious
The kingdom would seem to be healthy
Without a great challenge, or test
The kingdom fell into a certain kind of sleep
One that lingers even after waking
The land was taxed to make the crown wealthy
The kingdom called back knights from all quests
Soon the kingdom withered in lowered esteem
The ideals and hope of the past were now forsaken
The sleep period grew lengthy
Still the knights would respond to all requests
There remained a sovereign king
Therefore there was still hope
Should there be an awakening

Hear the Trumpets calling

How long have we waited
For the final answer to the question
How long has it burned, like cancer
Waiting to be sent upon our quest
Allow us to be your hands
Oh lord
How long have we listened
While society bled venom
Ignorant to the shame
That has long been missing
Listen now
The Shofar and Trumpets shout out
Listen as the horns call
Announcing Armageddon
This world will not survive
Nor the warriors upon Meggido
The end has been inscribed
Since long ago
The prophets called us to find wisdom
To know God is to become wise
We are fragile creatures
And within days the world will know
Whether it will live or whether it now dies

Wrath of Love

After a decade of waiting
She moved on
She saw in his eyes
The look of failing
The desperation and the taste
Of knowing life is not going to be
What he had planned
What he had demanded
From his gods
She moved on
Knowing she'd lost the years
And the loss was never made good
His moods were unreadable
His thoughts skewed
Towards the machinations
Of fate
Of having a lover call his name
Without paying his pound
Of flesh
And of futility
Of asking to be loved
But still being able
To choose the path
Of life
To snatch one's destiny
From the clutches
Of wrath
And pain

With resolution and courage

We used to be seen as the scourge
Society was stained by our imperfection
We were broken, we were tainted
Our mania became their torch
We were the infection
How dare we believe
Our brains were contaminated
And we were a symbol
Of the toll
And the cost
The wages of existence
But now there was a cure
We'd be changed
We'd find hope
Up from the sewers
We'd rise
And society would smile
We would be made to be
Like everyone else
Normal
Conforming
And sane

My Well Beloved

Cold from the struggle
Still shivering from pain
Each breath draws you near
Closer
Yet closer
To meet the master composer
Of the symphony of eternity
The story of existence
Once you pass behind the veil
You will know
Learning the eternal truth
One that you secretly you craved
Without knowing what you wanted
You are beloved
Loved without shame
A legacy unhaunted
Even as you scream his name
Do not fear the response
You will ascend, this flesh will end
Your soul possesses no regret
Move toward the light
Accept the inheritance of a soul
Never despair
Take my hand
Escape the grave
We are made for more
The grave will be empty
Dust and nothingness
It is time
You are loved
So never fear
I am with you
And I am near

Haste and Remains

The empty funeral pyre
Remains of a raging fire
With no body left to burn
Spirit left and won't return
Single precious gift, our legacy
Love remains burned in memory
My beloved, never decide to leave too soon
Time devours, consumes, welcomes your doom
Choose to leave when you are able
When your cards are left upon the table
We often see the beckoning light
So we end our glorious fight
What if it is a train in a tunnel
Coming to solve the puzzle
Once and for all
Refuse the call, refuse to fall
Be the last one to go
Now that you may know
The end is there and has been already
Do not enter unless it is willingly
Be the one flame ever alight
Inspire us and all with your fight

“Whoever is first in the field and awaits the coming of the enemy, will be fresh for the fight; whoever is second in the field and has to hasten to battle will arrive exhausted.” Sun Tzu

Dropped a Cigarette

I dropped a cigarette
From my hand
As I fell
To sleep
It landed upon the couch
The surface was on fire
But I never noticed
Instead I dreamed
And never knew
Such abject desire
Nor hunger
While the house burned
I was on fire with love
For a person who
According to the dream's narrative theme
As I slept
I might yearn for her
I might desire her form
But she didn't care
If I returned
So long as I was willing
To give her my trust
Rather than lust
And consign my fate
To the blowing wind
The raging flames
And the blowing dust
And burnt matter
The couch and room grew warm
The fire alarms cried out
But I was more comfortable now
No need for blankets
I decided to stay asleep
Where it was safe

Deadly Black Rose

Every time I ask
You shrug your shoulders
And tell me "I don't know"
I know that isn't true
So let us both wear a mask
Since love isn't in the eye of a beholder
My love you have outgrown
Because it isn't new
So, walk away
Walk away from me
Don't look back
And wipe me from your memory
You don't deserve my loyalty
Don't deserve my fidelity
My heart is worth more than this
I am done with your constant attacks

Mother said I was dead

I told my mom how I loved her
But I know
She never held me as close as Chinese Red
The first strike led to the purest nirvana
And forever after
I followed where that hit led
My liver shivered inside my viscera
My muscles contracted in the worst pain
So I moved from snorting to shooting it
So skinny it was easy to find a vein
My mother preferred to think
And told everyone that I had committed
Suicide
Because I was dead
While still alive
From the most frigid cold and shakes
To using more and more
Chinese Red
Pouring good money after bad
I was chasing a horse that never lost
I was in a race without end
Until the final heat
Where I fell
And never ran again

Too Soon

If the angel of death would dance with the master of circumstance
If the river of time would find confluence in blood of the wise
We might learn how temporary existence is
Surrender our fate, and find that life is less meaningful
With every breath drawn in, with every death written in
The book of life, or the book of the dead
We have no mastery over destiny
Only how hard we try to create a legacy
Our forward movement is measured, by effort, by persistence
What is there before us that we can do
Where is it written, what is true
The waves of time flood the shore
And time is short, but we still want more
The reaper has sharpened his scythe
God has fully written the book of life
Our truths are wired to our core
But we seek lies, and we accept legends and lore
And we long to know what will forestall doom
We long to know everything
And will, unless the harvest
Comes too soon
All will fall
Time will devour
Time consumes

Stalking Wolves

Born upon the battlefield
Raised upon the meat of conflict
Earning our very breath by killing
We are the storm
Coming from the North
Our neighbors are the crops to cull
Instead of scythes we use swords
Ships rather than horses
Instead of crimes upon victims
Or the unwilling
It is our hands that lead the way
And our violence brings a harvest
We will never be forgiven
For we do not show contrition
We are the stalking wolves
And they are the herd
We are the children of Odin
Imagined by others as the villains
But they are throats waiting to be cut
We would not last long in our cold environs
Without their stocks of wool
Nor the goods their gold buys
If we find their lands of use
We might settle there
If we must we'll use force
For we are not fools
And we know the message of steel
It does not ask, nor does it offer
Compromise
Only death or victory

Taken

You never stop loving those who are taken
You watch as they passed from this existence
Never able to interrupt the reaper's work
And you end up broken, and shaken
Darkness became my mistress
Despite the cross that I wear
I whisper to god I don't know
Why make me live
Why not let me go
Does god care?
I beg to die
Since I am not allowed
To suicide
When it is all I long for
Why do I try
When I am the one
Left behind

FALL THE MIGHTY EMPIRE

Not the one

Loving you was like
Walking across broken glass
My pain was painted in red
And while I bled you talked
The light in your eyes
Towards me went away
Before you walked
Out the door
I was shattered
Left in tatters
We have this masquerade that we play
And I can't disguise my heart any more
Watch me burn
Watch me burn
In hate towards myself
I am not enough
I am not the one
Who can fix my life
Or yours
At any time

I know nothing

Every day spent here
Is less time I get in hell
Every second lost
Is a story not to tell
Why did I bother
Why did I ask
For your kindness
It was too great a task
You know I am right
So let me get to hell
I think it is time to go
Can't be worse than this
But then again
What do I know?

ah shit

You've been the only thing
The only one
Who stopped me from leaving
From singing my final song
Nobody else can
Do that for me
I see your eyes
Grey blue
Staring back at me
You make me free
redeem me
And there is no one else
Don't you know it
You are my reason
To be
To be me
I endlessly long for you
To be with me to be near
So I might be relieved
Of this thing others call life
Fuck them
Fuck me
I only wish
For you to be
The one who redeems
The loneliness
Inside
me

Black crows hunting

Waiting alone inside the tunnel
Waiting for the word to run
Black crows come hunting
Here now arrives the epic struggle
My life spent expecting to be undone
I know they are coming
And today or be it tomorrow
I expect my share of sorrow

Consumption

Consumed by a disease
That had no mercy
Death the companion
Endless coughing
Drowning in the lungs
Death a great release
Praying to die not a sacrilege
The pain of knowing
Death is around the corner
But before it takes you
You are tortured

Unpromised

Every second we live is unpromised
So we tend to become numb to the facts
That who we are, what we experience
Unless we've become a prophet
We can not foresee the acts
The drama is not of our own writing
But we can play the part
And not be forced to forfeit
All that we might accomplish

She burns

My beautiful unexpected dream
Full of fire, gorgeously built
You could turn heads in a morgue
You burn in my heart even my sleep
These thoughts I have deepen my guilt
The lust burns like an angry horde
Unwilling to surrender
How will I not remember
The images of glory I've seen
Formerly as frozen as December
Burns like August
And now I can't beg enough
To forget the moments
I mistook for love

Not even fair

I never believed I was fragile
Nor delicate, I am broken but
This was not a choice
There is no option
My love for you is my chapel
I have been shaken, but
I still have a voice
I have a conscience
And I refuse to flee
Or even die
For the pleasure
Of others
I can't change my heart
I cannot refuse to be
I chose you
You never chose me
But love isn't simple
Nor is it even fair
It doesn't help
It doesn't change anything
If you care

From heights to the depths

Northern expansion meant subduing the native people
Legion after legion was fed into the grinder
Modern France was known as Gaul
From changing fortunes, the Gauls rose up
To be crushed back down, growing none the wiser
Alesia called to all parties to witness the fall
After Vercingetorix was taken in chains
The Gauls no longer needed a reminder
Romans answered the call
Across the Rhine into Germania were a people
Unlike any others, afire with courage
Though they were Celts, they were different
 No people could have sold their lives for more
Roman probes along the frontier never flourished
Each tribe bore Rome grave belligerence
At last Augustus ordered General Varus and three Legions
Into an ambush, no one remained to dare the Rhine's current
A border settled, Germania forever remained resistant

Albatross

She is amazing
But I am lost
Never to be found
My heart was so brazen
Ignorant of the cost
Of giving so much ground
To sacrifice my soul
For her love
Was a fool's game
We have nothing 
Except the chess pieces
All are tipped
Game over
My love is an albatross
Hanging around your neck
Never forgive
Never forget
I am not worthy
Of one like you
So lets pretend
We simply bid each other adieu
Without any stains
Of combat
No regrets

F*ck you

How dare you wonder if I loved you
Or worse still do
The question is ridiculous
The answer is moot
You walked out on me in my misery
A disease consumed my flesh
And I fought back bitterly
So fuck you if you think I owe you
More than this explanation
This is the fucking truth
I did
You didn't
You left
And now
Take a fucking hint

The Gallic Gladiator

As a child I longed to be
Like my father
A warrior of Gaul
Then retired a farmer
I was not born a slave
I was taken prisoner
In war
Thereafter I won my freedom
I earned my wage
In the arena
Where my blood
Painted the floor
Of the Colosseum
Others paid even more
Than the spray of crimson
I paid
I lived still
To fight again
Another day
I knew the wage
I paid it

The games contribute also
To the Emperor's way
And should I survive
My family will live with me
Upon the riches of victory

My very peril

Ignore what I said at my very peril
Afterall I was only saying
How much I loved you
Never mind my being disheveled
My heart was aching, not craving
My words were perfectly true
And now what do I have
What is my fate
What will my story be called
Fulfilled destiny?
Sorrow filled legacy?
I could wish it would rain
But my tears are still going to fall
I could put coins over my eyes
I could sit here and lie
But dishonesty costs me all
Don't worry
I don't have a suspicious mind
I never wear a disguise
But an answer would be great
Please don't make me wait for it
Forever

Winter Clash of Arms

We are told to listen
All we are able to hear
Is the sound of a drum
Hearts beating in our ears
We are told to be aware
Of the movement of the foe
But there is only mist rising
And the white of winter snow
We shiver and try to get warm
By pulling our cloaks around us
With the bulky armor worn
It feels that a blanket surrounds us
Soon enough the mist will burn
And nothing will prevent the passage
Of the enemy towards our guns
The swords we use give us an advantage
For bullets and musket balls bounce off armor
And though we admire their courage
They do fight with honor
Their flesh will not pass this challenge

The hungry scavengers will eat well this winter
They are also part of the cycle

Pan's serenity

One associated with panic
Of wild and untamed acts
Calls to the beast inside our chest
Had a life that was in ways tragic
Assumed to be a fool, ignorant of facts
He was wild and untamed, but also blessed
He was able, when others were not
To see that life had many facets
Some serious
Many not
And passion and fun
Were not sinful
Despite the appeal to the masses
He was able to find peace
With his reed pipe
And music
Because he had no inner demons
No guilty feelings

Altars to our excellence

Altars to our excellence
Epic madness cased in concrete
We will build until there is oblivion
No sky nor turf, nor water nor birds
We are the eaters of our flesh
We destroy our innocence
We consume our infants
There is none who can attest
Even one single free breath
Without the pollution of decay

Loss and loss again

Walking in the tall grass fields
After her wedding to Orpheus
Eurydice was surprised
By an ardent Satyr
She screamed and fled
Only to her dismay to be bitten
By a snake upon her ankle
She had stumbled in flight
Into a pit full of vipers
Husband Orpheus was destroyed
His heart was made numb
His music was of grieving
Broken, if beautiful
And not only the people
Were moved to mourn
The gods and the godly
All urged him to travel
Into the underworld
A dark realm for the dead
He played for Hades and Persephone
Masters of the dead realm
And they were moved
Eurydice was allowed to return
With Orpheus to the surface
With only one rule
That Orpheus should not look upon her
Until they arrived
To the land of the living
But he failed
With the quest nearly fulfilled
He turned to look
And there and then
She disappeared
For then and always

Hard rocks he soften'd with persuasive song,
And sooth'd the rivers as they roll'd along.
Yon beeches tall, that bloom near Zona, still
Remain memorials of his vocal skill:
His lays Pieria's listening trees admire,

And move in measures to his melting lyre.

Apollonius of Rhodes

Her Thrall

I longed for her in my depths
I'd have given her my life blood
If she had asked me for it all
And in deepest faith I prayed
Outside of her presence, I was bereft
If a glimpse of her, came the flood
Emotions overwhelming, I am her thrall
Gods help me, loving her was my crusade

Porcelain was her skin
Her mane was golden
Her spirit fierce
Inside me burned a fire
She moves me within
Inside my soul she is woven
My heart deeply pierced
And she is my only desire

She wore a princess crown
Ruled with regal grace
I was her servant, in her service
I grew flustered, begged her mercy
There she spoke becomes sacred ground
Behind the wall we embraced
She saw my visage was earnest
Her heart so pure, I felt dirty

I wore armor, but was vulnerable
Empty of any defense, I was weak
I kept speaking aloud my fears
I heard her as she laughed, without guile
My love, my life was honorable
And she was powerful, never meek
She brushed back my cold tears
And cried her own, as I rode into exile

Forgotten and Refused

Hey now listen
I was given the chance
To end my being confused
I was a fool
So now just me,  actually
Fucking choose
Its not up to you
These thoughts are long
Forgotten and refused
What the fuck is there if forever is gone
Why should I be solid
If all I thought is wrong
Your words move me
Even they redeem me
Why should I believe
If forever is gone
Never existed
Never wanted
Forever haunted
By the thought
That something I had thought perfect
Is now forever wrong
Its gone
And nothing is said to last forever
But I am broken
My soul forsaken
My prayers unspoken
My soul breaking
Why don't you stop
Break me
Stop loving me
Make me
Stop loving you
I want the truth
Stop my love
Show me some proof
Because I said I'd love forever
And forever has no end
If you can't see that I'm sorry
Because forever never ends
Forever never ends

For the person with internet who sends pics

You called my name
You held me still
You sent me images of you
But I'll not be the same
You've broken my will
You've made me break in two
And yet
Beauty alone does not make you beautiful
Nudity and sexual prowess doesn't make you sexy
Yes, your beauty was perfect even musical
Your images were sexual, made my burden heavy
I will never, now, bring you to mind
Despite the valiant effort you made
I will reject you inside
My lust is given, not tamed
Once I would have longed to be
The one you showered with attention
But I was already redeemed
And it hers I accept, the affection
You never were the one
I assumed would be there in the end
I never saw you when my journey was begun
And I reject these messages you send

Waking, Asleep to my flesh, The Nightmare

Not that I am the one who decides
Who divides the numbers
Between perfectly moral
And not in the least
I listen to the ocean tides
Counting my sins and they outnumber
The demons about to feast
All of my saving acts of grace
Are destroyed
All of my hope and trust
Eroded by my lust and hunger
For that which is not allowed
I have broken many times before
But I am awakened
To my flesh
And cannot begin to make the effort
To begin again
To suffer more
To know the truth
I believe and yet I know
My soul fades
With every foolish act
Every sin of my flesh
Burns
Obvious to any who might look
Indeed
Obvious to all who view

the cloak and helmet

When the spirit descends
Humans take upon them
A cloak of flesh
And a helmet of bone
They get 9 lives minus 8
And they must comprehend
A new life they will become
Anything for the spirit refreshed
When dead they return the loan
The body bag is flesh incarnate

My lips whisper

I was hollow
Shallow and pale
My flesh has no color
My soul has burned for her
I was willing to suffer
Willing to do anything to be
The one she might need
In the end it doesn't matter
My life hung up for view
Every effort seen as askew
Let these lips whisper words
Breaking every curse
I pray that you hear
And be inspired by each one
And are drawn to be near

HOW PTSD DISASSEMBLES YOU

I've endured a life
Of a kind of conditioning
How was I supposed to react
With every act of kindness suspect
I refuse to be burned, again
I hope I can be forgiven then
For questioning
All of these beautiful moments,
Or were they secret attacks
My past causes me to dissect
Everything that might cause pain
So please forgive me
Your generous act or gift
Could have meant the world to me
If I weren't broken
Crippled
With fears that persist
I wasn't made to be reassembled
Daily
My fears are not unspoken
I can't take more
So please
If it offends you
Don't be kind to me
Anymore
I can't accept it
Your generous gift
For what it was meant to be

Zzzz

Falling face forward
Into rose petals and goose down
I have nothing to offer
But thanks and appreciations
With love like an orchard
I rest in the holiest ground
Neither wealthy man nor pauper
In sleep I will celebrate creation

“King Sleep was father of a thousand sons – indeed a tribe – and of them all, the one he chose was Morpheus, who had such skill in miming any human form at will. No other Dream (Oneiro, Morpheus’ brother)  can match his artistry in counterfeiting men: their voice, their gait, their face – their moods; and, too, he imitates their dress precisely and the words they use most frequently. But he mimes only men…”  Ovid

To Someone I used to Know

I know others lied
When they denied
The truth
I thought you were beautiful
And you are
But not inside
Inside you were a crash scene
With limbs and organs broken and destroyed
As always, I am dutiful
But loving you was suicide
You should have set off alarms
With every mercy denied
The love so serene
I would dive into the void
To deny the truth
You wound me
Destroy me
And in the end
I should rejoice
But instead
I am dead
Inside
Yes
I love you
But it hurts
And that pain
Never goes away

Immutable Soul

From pink to blue to the gray
Within my flesh beats a heart
It will stop and die some day
As my light within grows dark
And yet I live within
I will ascend
For I will join the creator
And there I will be
Unbroken
For I possess one thing
An immutable soul
I will be free from life's prison
My flesh will have no control

Refuse to surrender

Some government lackey was rewarded
With every word of mine that she recorded
Knowingly I deepened my death sentence
With every act of cold vengeance
With every thought I kept inside
An accused I'd be of a thought crime
So I have had to learn to be mute
Thoughtless and wordless
Actionless and fearless
They would have no proof
Despite their ability
To create evidence
I had to find a way
To leave this place
To escape
But the world I live upon
Sees me only as a pawn
In the eternal chess game
That it plays
This will all end
I am certain
And it is true
That I won't survive
But I'd rather leave early
Than be a part
Of their fetid vulgar hive