Welcome


I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.

I bid you peace.

Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte

copyright notice

copyright notice

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

MEAT, PARTS, PURPOSE

We are all going to die
But some were never alive
Some are bred as flesh
Some are slave to society's drive
Others have a purpose
To serve as food
Others have a purpose
To be bred for their parts
Like spare parts
And in the test tube they grow
Without accompanying soul
Driven by our desire
To live forever



We breed selectively
To achieve a goal
To create a combination
Of flesh that appeals
To our eyes
To our greed
To our decay
To our needs
We are going to create
A new human being


One that is born without a soul
So that its flesh might be used
So that the world is not for its use




So missing a leg?
Just donate your sperm or egg
And we'll cook you up a new one
Right away
And while we're at it
How about a new eye
A new nose
Or brand new teeth


Because we can now breed ourselves
Selectively
Preventing certain things
Like brains
From developing
As if we are working
The Flesh Mine
Sooner than later
We'll pollute the entire earth
Making survival impossible
And when that occurs
Don't be a fool
You know it will
We'll be breeding the flesh
For food

The cold truth

In the heart of existence
I find myself questioning
My reason for being
The purpose of things
I come back to the point
That I cannot get past
I cannot endure
Without love
I cannot exist
Without hope
As a child I could not dream
Without sleeping in the arms
Of the one who made me
And I am still a child
I cannot prove anything
Beyond my life
But I can live with the hope
Of something more
And if I am blessed
To learn there is that
I'll gladly exit this earthly door







"What I really need is to get clear about what I must do, not what I must know, except insofar as knowledge must precede every act. What matters is to find a purpose, to see what it really is that God wills that I shall do; the crucial thing is to find a truth which is truth for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die."

Søren Aabye Kierkegaard

"I don’t know whether this world has a meaning that transcends it. But I know that I cannot know that meaning and that it is impossible for me just now to know it. What can a meaning outside my condition mean to me? I can understand only in human terms. What I touch, what resists me — that I understand. And these two certainties — my appetite for the absolute and for unity and the impossibility of reducing this world to a rational and reasonable principle — I also know that I cannot reconcile them. What other truth can I admit without lying, without bringing in a hope I lack and which means nothing within the limits of my conditions?"

Albert Camus

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

In mid-Winter



It is there
However I might hold back
In mid-winter my heart is not cold
Despite the winds, the chill in the air
The snow flying
My feet sinking beneath the crust
For I am walking to see you
Melting icebergs
Turning away storms
That would freeze Hawaii
This thing that burns is not lust
It is my heart that knows
Your love keeps me warm
Within hands that trust
I grow
So I am burning inside
With a fire
That no one can put out
I love you, my beautiful one
Nothing can stop
What has begun

NOW

Who tells us when to live
Who allows our time to die
When the world was created
The biggest question was why
Do we suffer
Why
Do we endure such pain
There are no answers
Only the questions remain
There is no destiny
Nothing even close to fate
We are here
And that is all that we can say
This existence
Calls upon us to be
To be
To rise above the fetid decay
And survive
For what purpose
I don't know
But survive
So we might one day
Say
We are here
And alive

Orion's Belt


Wonders of this world
The pyramids hold within
The secrets of the past
Of when mankind was young
Across the desert you can hear the echo
Of time when Pharaohs ruled
And see in the sky
Orion's belt
So far away, in space distant
But the belt in formation
Matches the pyramids of Giza
Pyramid for pyramid
Upon the face of the earth
With no known reason
But it exists
Beyond us
In the past
When mankind was young
And knowledge and wisdom
Were considered gifts
From the Gods
Who came from
The stars

Loving you, Heals me


When I see your face
Like a holy breath
Into my lungs
Your love comes in
Heals my wounds
You called my name
Pouring upon me grace
I can see only you
Love only you
You released me from my shame
Of loneliness
And woke my heart
In your majesty
I am yours
In love

Monday, February 27, 2012

Red Deer of Ireland

Rising above the grass
The winds blow
In the tall grains
This beauty is transcendent
Nature is primal,
Existing beyond us
We die, they go on
As it should be


(photo credit: Olivier Deme)

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Man versus Tank


One man versus four tanks
The eyes of the world watching
One man stood
More tanks to follow
The tanks could not move
Forward
Or they would crush the one
Who stood alone
One candle is a single flame
But many candles
Become fire
One voice may light it
Let defiance of tyranny reign
Let the truth be the candle
And hope the desire
Strike the match
Upon the dead wood of hate
Start it alight
And consume the evil state
Light its corpse
With the pyre

Between extremes


(photograph by Henryk Żychowski)

In that place
In the gloaming
Between the face of the sun
And that of the moon
There is a ghost of the day
A promise of the night
When the memories of light
Are encased in the tomb
Of thought
The anticipation of the evening
Where I see her eyes
Sparkling as they do
I am entranced
Nearly dreaming

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Child of King Sagittarius



Without my father
Sorrow is suffocation
Earthbound I am in chains
For within the nebula
My father sits
Calling to me to return
Enigma behind the veil
Absolute power burns
No proper title exists
His majesty magnificent
His reason immaculate
His wisdom not like mine
Nor that of any man
Surrounded in place
By the guardians
The host of celestial ones
His beauty is perfect
In his absence
I am desolate
His is absolute
Mine is empty
Without his presence

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Best Seat in the House



Sometimes you have to just sit back and watch
Nothing you do makes a difference
And the pain you are in makes you realize
This is an epic opera you are a part of
In a language you don't know
So it will never make sense
So take a minute
Have a sit
Strap it up
Let the sparks get hot
And let it rip!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Sex Money Flesh


She was a slave
Sold for her flesh
To a male
Probably wealthy
To use as he wished
Her body
Beautiful though it was
Was only a cloak to wear
For her soul grieved
Her spirit was broken
Despite the outer view
To look inside would break the man
About to bring her into his home
Who thought little enough
Of humanity
To think he might own one
Of his own

Vercingetorix, Great Warrior King



He bled as a captive
As the crowds in Rome watched
But he had lived quite differently
A warrior, rebel, king, commander
He sought to remove the Romans
From his land
A rebellion begun
Against the inexorable foe
Caesar's legions could not be moved
The Gauls met Caesar's best
In combat of arms
While the Gauls fought with diligence
The Roman walls of men
Were as stone
Vercingetorix
Vercingetorix
Taken to Rome
Displayed for all to see
The rebel who fought Rome
The enemy of the father land
The barbarian king
The Gaul
Still prideful
Hateful
Died a captive
But had lived a man

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Grind



After the flood
We are simply flesh
Nothing more than that
Born from the steel uterus
To serve the horde
The meat ground fine
Red and bloody
Every turn of the crank
More comes out
Destroy individuals
Destroy doubts
You exist
The Horde gives you meaning
Even life, for now you have purpose
Remember who to thank
Not your mother
Not your God
Not your maker
For creation ended
The day your DNA
Was solved
And your bodies came out
Perfect
Without flaw
Without rage
After the fall
We are just meat
Just life
No more souls
No need to cage
You are meat

That is all


Moonfall



Looking at the moon until it passes from view
My eyes bleed from the endless stare
Sleep is not my mistress
And then the morning is new
The day is unfair
For to exult in its madness
In exhaustion
Is impossible
I cannot sleep
The dreams never happen
Problems insoluble
The night might be beautiful
But so are dragons
For the day comes
Whether the night has been kind
And it never is
If the bed is feather pillows
And the sheets silk or satin
It doesn't matter
Sleep isn't my mistress
And the day brings madness

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I knew you didn't love me


I knew you didn't love me
I just didn't know
How much
You can forgive my ignorance
I was confused by your words
By the things you did
By the letters you
Sent
By foolish trust
I knew you didn't
But I should have
Despite all the messages
You sent
There were the ones
You never did
That I received
Anyway
And no
It wasn't my burning lust
But rather my pride
Loving you made me feel
Good inside
You know
I should have known
But I didn't
Because of what you showed me
I should have
But I didn't
I never will
This is all so
Confusing
Refusing to see
What is what shouldn't be
What is not, yet should be
I knew you didn't love me
But
See?

Monday, February 20, 2012

arms spread wide


(photo Robert Mapplethorpe, copyright his estate)

I am ready, let me be taken
shorn of coverings, scorned of hope
scourge my flesh
whip my skin until I am pale from bleeding
take this body, spread my arms
strike the hammer, pound the nails
let the blood pour down
crown my head with thorns
let me be cast upon a stake
with a crossbar hanging there
until I am dead
let the angels sing over me
while I am covered in red
and still my sacrifice will be
nothing
the ravens may caw
the loved ones might cry
but nothing I do is able
For there is only one worthy
Without sin
Without flaw

The hill get's higher



With every step the journey gets longer
and the hill grows
Because it never ends
The goal just gets further out of reach
I couldn't get more wrong
and the weariness shows
Because it never ends
And the fears and failures leech
My soul

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I Loved Someone


I loved someone but
She couldn't quit the shit
That was killing her
Somehow
It didn't do the job
Didn't do it
Right away
I loved someone
She didn't want to stop
What she did
To kill the pain away
It was like a train
That was charging in
She was running at it
Headlong into the path
Destruction was her bitch
She knew it was the way
It would be
She knew I'd be watching
With nothing I could do
But cry
But wonder why
Someone so beautiful
Could be in so much pain
Every day
Every day
And I could only watch
I couldn't stop her

Dizzying


A long time ago
I acquiesced to the notion
That somehow it matters
What I do
What I say
But it is dizzying to contemplate
The devotion it takes
To not shatter upon your altar
Of rules
Of conformity
And I cannot do it
I can't
Bleeding from my mind
I run and fall down
Screaming breathless
And wonder why I bothered
When I am far too far gone
Down the road of no return
Instead of coming back
I'll wait here
And burn

The Lust




Although they fight
Some with honor
Some with fear
Some with majesty
Some with success
Some without honor
Each death
Every tear
Gashed chest
Bruise
Wounded arm or leg
Pool of blood
Broken bone
Ichors of the flesh
That Ooze upon the floor
Sand in the eye
Arrow in the chest
The consequences
Of the game
The Spectacle for display
Is the fault of lust
In the observer
Not the warrior
Not the victim
Not the sport
Who are victims
Of the lure
Of its power

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Only the Ghosts




Stumbling I
Shudder the windows
Pull the drapes
Turning out the lamp
Shadows the only light left
And that isn't much
But the sorrow is more than I can take
Again
Taking my breath from flesh
Stunning
Only the ghosts that haunt
Remain
And I give in
Only wounds and blood within
I've nothing inside to defend myself
With
From them
Leaving me in awe
Stealing my joy
From my soul
There is nothing left
What is there then
Without hope
Unwhole
In darkness?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Never will be


Your eyes, so smoky and dark
I see the children there
That we never had
Never will
And it breaks my heart
Every time
Your voice calls my soul
I hear the words
That make me whole
But now I never
Never will be
Now I am so desolate
In my solitude
Without hope
Nothing can console me
Nothing can be redeemed
I stand outside looking in
Seeing who you are
Knowing I will never be
The one holding your hand
Kissing your lips
Soothing the scars
Within
Never will be

Destruction of the Reich

Killing from above
Destroying the enemy below
For Hitler's Germany
Was due
For a reckoning



B-17s filled with men, guns and more
Carrying bombs to destroy factories
The planes moved overland
The safe zone was passed
The Flying Fortresses
Armed to the teeth
Seemingly prepared
But the enemy approached



Lumbering giants armed well
Surrounded by hawks who never stopped
B-17s were meat for the hawks
Flying in formation
Above the Reich


The fortresses in flight soared
Orders shouted
Prayers quietly spoken
The hunters were about to strike
The prey defended itself



Eventual destruction of cities
And railways
Of shipping
And factories
Did not stop the war
Only the killing of the beast
The state could do that
The end came for this chapter
But the wars went on
Without end it seems
As if it is our destiny

Wicked Rain



Lovers hold hands as they walk
People smile in the sunshine
Running through the park
Children shout happily
Everyone is smiling
Except me
Whatever I do
Wherever I go
The rain pours down
The wicked rain
What I love dies
What I make turns to dust
Who I love are broken
The wicked rain corrupts
And who I am infects
What I am decays
Made of flaw and defect
Flesh moved by lust
This darkness harrows me
Turns me hollow inside
The wicked rain melts my soul
Makes me long to be whole
I wish I could remember
What it felt like
To feel numb
But instead
I just watch the rain
Cover me
The sorrow bled
I feel so cold
Undone

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Resist the Flood

The Persians offered the Spartans
A chance to live, but upon their knees
The Spartans said no
For to live is to be free
The Persians declared
They'd blacken the sun with arrows
The Spartans replied
Then we'll have shade to fight in
The Persians demanded the weapons
Of the Spartans to be surrendered
The Spartans said
Come and Take them
The empire won
But not before
The Spartans lived
By dying





Monday, February 13, 2012

A King and a Beggar girl

King Cophetua was a Moor
Of a long line of kings
Bright and talented
Strong and fair
But mourned his fate
For he had no lover
No ardor towards others
A kingdom must have an heir
A crown prince or princess
To carrying the signet ring
And throne
While despondent
He took on his armor
For he would practice
Perhaps joust
Train with his bodyguards
For his body was a honed weapon
From constant training
To avoid thinking
About a kingdom
Without a prince
Or princess
But the women he was offered
Were perfect, beautiful, bright
Educated, thoughtful, and kind
Not one moved his heart
So while he armored
For training
He looked off
Through his window
And saw
A beggar girl
Unassuming
Destitute
And was struck
Moved
And tears poured down
For he knew his destiny
Was sealed
He'd be with her
Or not exist
He'd find her
And be
Rather than be dead
Her husband
She'd be his queen
And they'd find love
And create an heir
So he approached
The beggars swarmed
He embraced them
While others were repulsed instead
He poured out his coins for them to have
The beggar girl walked to the gathering
Of the poor
The king offered his hand
Asked her name
Penelophon she said
Asked her to come into his court room
Outside of the throne room
He offered her a new life
As his wife
And she said yes

(Adapted from the legend The King and the Beggar-maid)

If Love is



Take my hand
Whisper in my ear
Take my heart
Saying goodbye to fear
If you love me
I am redeemed
If you are near
I believe
In everything
That otherwise
Falls to dust
My love is real
(As is my lust)
But without you
By my side
I don't feel alive
Without you near my soul
I feel unloved, unwhole
If love is real
It is you I know
You are love
If love is real
I long to hold it
Forever
Never letting go

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Frozen in blood



Two ravens fly above the river
Where Napoleon's Grand Armee
Either crossed or was slaughtered
The river frozen by winter's cold
The bridges barely holding
The army and its load
30,000 died
For want of safe passage
The retreat from Russia
A bloody badge of courage
For the few who survived

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Dragon and The Lance



Red Star flag burning
In the frozen land
A steel dragon moves
Surveying the damage
His people doomed
His emotions spent
He will find and kill
Whoever did this
Whoever chose to slaughter
Innocents
The landscape white
Frozen in cold
Armored men with lances scurry
To spear the dragon
Before it can find them
So their crooked cross might win
Steel versus Steel
On a gray horizon

Sleep, Surrender




Undone
I close my eyes
Praying to stay
In the place
Where dreams come
Or simply die
In my sleep
For to surrender
Hands high
The war begun
For my soul
The flesh finished
The spirit weak
Cold in the burning sun
It is time
Time to die
Alone in the night
Just to see the one
Who can make it all
Worth being done

Memories echo



Memories of your love linger on
Echoing sound of your voice
You whispered in my ear
That you love me
Continue
Undying, unchanging, singing
Chances in life fleeting
To ever find you again
Just let me find you
And I will never weaken
I still seek
For I am lost
Alone
Without you

Friday, February 10, 2012

Forest Hunt




I was her prey
She hunted me
Every step made
She followed
She knew my scent
Her guile let her know
Exactly what I'd do
By staring at my trail
Through grass that was bent
Whatever path I took
She would wait
Ready to sait her hunger
Tired of the chase
I gave in
For there was no hope
Of escape

End of the ride

Such a sight
It was so serene
At the final slope of plains
The camp could be seen
Nothing could've been as sweet
Riding all day
Exhaustion reached deep
He'd spent his energy
Completely

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Spray



My dreams don't matter
My blood is splattered
Across the walls of my room
Where I met my doom
I am left in tatters
My flesh is scattered
Sleeping numb in my tomb
I dream emptiness
Beneath a blood red moon
As my final breath
Leaks from me

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Purified

Take my heart and let it burn to ashes
Then let those scatter to the winds
Take my soul and let it be broken
Shattered by my sins
And when there is nothing left
But desire to be redeemed
Take that in your hands
And let me be
Forgiven
For I long to be purified
By your love
I long to be justified
By your faith
Let me be arisen
By my brokenness
Towards you

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Final Wave

Fleeing the final wave
The ravens left their trees
The red skies were falling
Down upon the earth
We'd entered the final days
The earth was dying
Our lives were tossed aside
We watched as the crimson surrounded us
Not knowing our fate
The bleeding skies were a foul curse
Pouring down misery
Destroying our faith that
Humanity was superior
Over all things
The red skies fell
Ending our ways here
Forever after
Creating a hell
We could not escape

Monday, February 6, 2012

Overreach

Democracies die
When they seek empire
Nations lose faith
When the cost of war
Is overwhelming



Athenians in Syracuse died to a man
Trying to raise the flag
Over a land that had no desire
To be one of those
Who bow to Athens







In Malaya the people who saw the fall
Of the British colonial regime
Made a choice to rise up
Against the empire
For independence
They were called terrorists
And rebels
In the land which they had been born
And the British were foreign



France had fought a war against oppressors
And then sought in Algeria
To make that land their dominion
All the lessons of fighting Fascism were lost
In the midst of a brutal war



The United States fought a people
To keep them from the specter of Communism
Despite the fact
That the Vietnamese hadn't had a choice
When the Japanese
Chinese
And French
Before the Americans
Sought to control their land

Such are the wars of Empire
When democracies die
For cynical reasons
Overreach
Suicide

Sunday, February 5, 2012

The smile

When I hear you laugh
I hear God's voice
When I see you smile
I hear a chorus
You are beautiful
Inside and outside
You live in my heart
You live in my mind
When I walk alone
You are by my side
When I am in sorrow
You are my comfort
From the divine
I am never without you
Yours is the glorious aroma
Finer than perfume
The scent that fills my nose
You are the memory
That brings a smile
You are more beautiful than a rose
You are the one I love
The one I need
Though the world beyond us
Is completely hostile
You comfort me
You love me
Despite my being me
Unworthy

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Oberon and Titania

In the nether realms
Live the beautiful beings
Creations without flaw
Dancing until the dawn
Together in each others thrall
Eternal without dream
For they are from what dreams are made
They dance in each other's love
They answer to each other's call
Sleep we mortals
Unknowing of the splendor there
Where the King and Queen of the Faer
Love each other
Hold each other
Dance together
In the ever
Beneath the moon
Of the celestial world
Before the waking
And dawn
Of the living world's rise
The resurrection of the day
In this living realm
We are ignorant
Of such grace and perfection
Found in the Faer
We are become bereft of joy
Illiterate
Illegitimate
From our lack of care
Of knowing

Thursday, February 2, 2012

ever




We met as children
Played in the fields
Cried after fights
Shared our meals
Together we lived
Sharing our lives
You were my only
Never said goodbye
When the end came
There wasn't a question
I laid there
Like when our life was new
Holding your body
Until I slept
Azrael called my name
Saying I could be with you

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Inner Babylon

The moment
I saw her
I believed her
I wanted her
To be mine
She didn't have to lure me
Nor tempt me
I walked forward
Lustfully
Full of desire
So alive
She didn't have to offer
Didn't have to ask
I was there
Fully flushed in ardor
She took off her clothes
I simply stared
From the moment I looked
From the instant I saw
My memories burned
My morals were dust
I gazed into her eyes
And realized my emptiness
My lack of worthiness
Of trust

To Become Gods

Their nation imperiled
Surrounded by enemies
The inexorable tide approaching
Threatening
Calling
With a shout



Their nation cried out
Begging them to sacrifice
Giving up the human bodies
They were to become gods
Raijin
Kami-kaze
Gods of thunder
Sinking ships
With one blow
They would pull the ships under
The waves cover the bodies
And the essence of the men
Hover atop the sea





With one act they'd defend
The holy land
Of Japan
With death