Seeds

I cry until my heart is drenched 
Loving you should mean
I am grateful
But that is too hard
In the absence
Sometimes I bleed
From desire
Unquenched
I grow bitter
Without your love
But
Both gratitude and bitterness are seeds
That bear fruit
Hope is a fire
Inside I am dying
From the desire
To love you
I vacillate between hope
And the pain
Of nothing

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