Controlled by our Puppet Masters

One by one, we lost our dreams
We've lost our rights, all our hope
As we all wait for our master's to act
We're enslaved, forced to live as sheep
Controlled by terror
That engineered beliefs
The puppet masters train us to attack
Theft of our dreams their primary task
And soon enough, they shall succeed
We'll never again know how to dream
Never again, but perhaps we never did
They'll rule by violence
And we'll watch those acts
Such things entertains us
Spectacle has no cost
But our heart and hope
Dreams are forfeited
And all of them are lost
We have lost our ability to dream
And next, we'll never again sleep
For it requires a contented heart
And innocence, and peace
With no secrets to keep

Hubris & The Crash

Our flight had promise of the greatest worth
The future had been delayed, and even worse
We'd arrived at terminus, a final destination
Finding a future but one of pure emptiness
With not one single path forward
Trapped in an emotional starvation
We struggled for survival at best
We sought safety with nothing left
To dream is the highest aspiration
If we imagine our world in ascent
With our unleashed imaginations
As we watch the catastrophes happen
Our species has entered final descent
And we know we will never rise again
For our hubris has guaranteed our fall
Our abject ignorance has led to shame
When nothing like hope exists
Or if nothing good remains
Is it extinction or exhaustion
Or is it both
Do we persist, or twist
As we sway in the wind

Staring Into The Eternal's Gaze

As you stare into the Eternal's gaze, be certain not to blink
If your fear becomes manifest, ignore all lifeless reasoning
Suggesting that all you know, all that you could ever want
Will lead you to oblivion, an empty void of all you think
But there is a mystery that lives and it keeps deepening
Should you flinch and turn away, the results will haunt
With no staircase to ascend and no ladder reaching
You must find your way and the answers do exist
Heaven is immense, beyond the mind's measure
There, in absolute perfection, Elysium stands
Life has long been teaching us to deny fate
To achieve the heights of Heaven
You must understand
Solve the eternal riddle
And enter that final gate
Leading you the way to forever
Where you will find a promised land

“You have lost your reason and taken the wrong path. You have taken lies for
truth, and hideousness for beauty. You would marvel if, owing to strange events
of some sorts, frogs and lizards suddenly grew on apple and orange trees instead
of fruit, or if roses began to smell like a sweating horse; so I marvel at you who
exchange heaven for earth. I don't want to understand you.”   Anton Chekhov

Rise

In a world where madness is viewed as genius
What right have you ever had to call me insane
My brain leaks, my eyes pour rain from them
Life is a complex composite of flesh
And the flesh will be my tomb
A chaos theory state, spirit sleeps dreamless
Sorrows of existence then allows fear to reign
However you try, you can't enter a state of zen
Manacle your wrists, refuse to leave the womb
Protest the offerings, as all roads lead to doom
As such, you might linger in the fascination
Of life's false deep emotional devastation
Or you can finally rise like never before
You must let freedom burn in your core
Choose to live, to love and to remember
No one escapes life, our exit in December
The cold and final, quickly passing
In exchange, for a dream lasting
For Elysium is waiting

(Art by Jean Delville)

The Damned?

By razor wire I hung, indecision and fear trapped me there
My flesh was ripped to shreds, but my pain was emotional
Broken inside, knowing I live in a world that did not care
I'd never committed the crime making me condemned
If life is absurd, and it is, our time is spent on nothing
And after all the pain, it seems truly unfair
But one must choose their path
With this life make a final stand
I've lived in a fashion allowing me to believe
But to all others, I was a fool
I was a liar deserving to be damned
If in their eyes I would be, I understand
But they don't know what I have
So have I embraced oblivion
Or will I inherit everything
Have I found perfect diamonds
Or  a planet of grains of sand
A king of the universe
Or a wanderer cursed
To endlessly walk
In an apocalyptic wasteland?

“What can an eternity of damnation matter to someone
                            who has felt, if only for a second, the infinity of delight?”                      

                                                          Charles Baudelaire

That Moment Everything Changed

Some called it our awakening
Others said it was our doom
Some were ashamed, some proud
Did you see it? were you there?
Did you see what happened
A moment foretold of destiny
A future never seemed so clear
A past never mattered less
I was there and stood at the chasm
Saw the rifts rising above
Separating us from our legacy
There is nothing that was so near
It was no longer if we go, but how
And then we entered the future
All our beliefs were confirmed
Along with all of our fears
The end now called
It was beckoning
Come forward
With no uncertain terms
We'd be reunited with the lost
Our species made whole
Once again, forever to thrive
Made anew
Our lifeforms were restored
By the hope offered
By a new life
We found a purpose
And so much more

I Watched the Sky

I watched the sky

All I'd ever wished for
Made the stars shine

Doing nothing more
Yesterday's lights
Impossible to restore
New but missing
Gone but present

A core burning
My eyes crying

I know, I know

Revealing a path
Inside me
Gone but present
Heavy breathing
Time for the wrath

Question mark...?

Of God
Revealed

Now is it the time
Of my folly or my
Time to die?

The Spilled Chalice of Love

My heart would bleed all my love, flesh and bones
For our love was a fortress, impregnable, invincible
The marriage was a forest fire, fiercely ever burning
Knowing if my flesh would pass, the love would last
But in the dark I stare out at the fallen walls of stone
I see the burnt remnants of a pristine forest scene
Living what my darkest fears could be, I do know
The worst pain isn't loss but being cold and alone
Asleep in the flesh, and dead inside my soul
I have prayers but I've been through Hell
What more could be taken, I don't know
But I'm broken, no longer whole
There's nothing left to take
Nor promises to make
Je suis fini, je suis fini
Pas plus s'il vous plaît
I'm so done
So very done
All hope is gone
And now, I've nothing left
And I have even less to give

“We fight it down, and we live it down, or we bear it bravely well,
But the best men die of a broken heart for the things they cannot tell.”

                                                                                    Henry Lawson

A Somber King

A great king deeply grieved upon his golden throne
He'd kept watch as the young kingdoms approached
His people had grown childless, the situation averse
His empire's greatest walls were decaying and old
This ancient race lost purpose and deserved reproach
The surging numbers of the invaders became a curse
The empire's legacy of victories now meant nothing
It took the empire many great generations to grow
They'd fallen in but one month and lost everything
The ancient race died without glory, in the slaughter
In dying, they took treasures and their culture's soul
And to be forgotten, and forsaken in their future

Blind, Empty or Loving the Attention?

Swimming with sharks as bad boys break your heart
You seem to love the attention, despite visible scars
The most fun you have is a roller coast of emotion
Not sure if what I see is from madness or devotion
Surrender inside, aim your mental focus on hope
Cast away fears and dreams, pray you don't choke
If there's nothing, you have nothing to lose
The end is here, you're going to have to choose
Do you want the consequences, are you blind
Do you not see the hurt, are you empty inside?

Doubt rises inside

The sky is the limit, but only if
We can somehow reach it
With no safety net, or hope
Nothing will catch our fall
I have wings
But they are broken
In the final count
I know I won't be chosen
That is fine by me
Yes I knew the rules
Live for the moment
But life can be cruel
There's nothing that I can do
Not about that
Or for most things
So I doubt
By staring into the abyss
Being consumed by the void
Trapped in the Eternal's gaze
I become aware
Whatever I believe
I might never see the day
That it will never come
When forgiveness is there
To release me
To redeem me
Let me be free
I am ready
For anything
Please let me be free

Rise, at last, Breathe and Live

If humans are able to grow their own clones
From stem cells, DNA material, test tubes
Will we consider them to be worthy of life
If they are composed of blood and bones
Composites of flesh, with thought and breath
Or will they be formulated for purpose
And their minds all made to be dull
To serve as living spare parts or as servants
Would we kill them to harvest their organs
Would their possessing of intelligent life
Require the rest of us to give them rights
Could we treat them abusively with impunity
Would they have the status of less deserving
Viewed as having souls that are empty
In order to use their parts, and their service
Would they become a composite of flesh
Human cells and organs replaced often
So that we might forever have life?

Waves

If one were to exist in a world without research
Without academic inquiry or a new technology
If all intellectual fields of science were forbidden
It'd make the act of gathering knowledge criminal
Would people be guided by mythology or astrology
Would all higher research then need to be hidden
The world would become foolish, dull, and juvenile
With questions without answer, no cure for cancer
To live our small lives, ignorant to reach for more
To live without meeting the intellectual potential
Would there still be questions burning in our core
With no phones, no computers, no radios or flight
No film, music or the lights to brighten the night
Would we have any means to express ourselves
Or have a chance to ascend beyond savagery
Or would we just exist, ignorant and blissful
Never thinking, our dreams made arbitrary
Nothing inside us wanting to soar

Old Child

I was so old when born, a child who could already retire
I'm a fool for the sake of it, not my youth, or being a liar
I've entered the asylum, not for a medical need, but spite
I've watched as a day's minutes pass, lazily into the night
Staff invites me in to drink water and take pills of delight
I don't want to do it but they'll hold back my sustenance 
So I break the monotony of everything painted white
Staring at the ceiling, gaze at stars, listen, yeah I try
There's nothing for me, dialogue so dull that I die
Time for me to walk the yard as predators cry
There is nothing for me, in this stupid circle
Yes I have tried, so stop saying I don't
And yes, I will always fail. ALWAYS
Without hope or mercy, or of you
Or anyone or anything
I'm trapped here inside
I'm a prisoner in this jail
In a prison of my mind

Persistence

If it is good then you have done well
If there's nothing, you are simply gone
Do good for the good of it, move along
It is all there is you can control
We live in an absurd world
The world itself is without a soul
Never give in to fear, it exists
Even should you the shed tears
If there is nothing in the end
It is time to sleep and dream
Never to wake, never to feel pain
Never to scream, nor go insane
But to feel the cold embrace
Of a gloriously deep forever sleep

The Addictive Calm

Addiction to heroin is riding on a tiger's back
You can't tell it where to go, you can't stay on top
And you need to know, if you fall off you will die
It rules your life without a benefit to you
Your dreams become quiet
The misery of life passes by, slowly
Only to be replaced by new miseries
They call it the horse
But one that never won a single race
The darkness has been made manifest
As my screaming becomes a silence
The black hole of existence swallows me
And for a moment of quiet, I can chase
In the numb following injection
I find emptiness, and there's a peace
Serenity, a perfect calm, but not sleep
Coming out of it, one faces a truth
It was a moment and not the whole
You'll do anything, to get one more moment
Even if it is just for the taste

“I have learned the junk equation. Junk is not, like alcohol or
weed, a means of increased enjoyment of life. Junk is not a
kick.  It is a way of life.”                     William S. Burroughs

The Hunger to Speak

There is an idea that by stealing a poet's pen
He will no longer be able to write
Should you take away the canvas and brush
A painter will lose his artistic acumen
By preventing sleep, day never turns night
By abstaining from love one will never lust
But there is a beast within, and it hungers
It never surrenders to the moment at hand
With no distinction between need and want
And it never knows when the time is right
It exists and it cannot be made silent
Lingering within us, it burns, it haunts
It will speak
Even as every voice has been made quiet

"Don't be satisfied with the stories, how things have
gone with others. Unfold your own myth.”    Rumi

Release Date June 11, 1988

My soul awoke on that day
June 11th 1988
When you said yes to me
It revealed a truth
Before family
Before friends
Before our God
We swore an oath
Promised to ever be
Together into forever
And then we danced
Reveled in celebration
We understood
The divine message sent
I was at once healed
No longer alone in life
I could finally believe
Because I could see
All the good things
That had been hidden
In a world of shadow
My darkness was lifted
After a lifetime of waiting
Of sorrow and grieving
You made the difference
I've nothing if I have not you
Because with you I'm complete
My lover, my partner, my hope
I can finally forgive
All that was done to me
All that I did to others
And I have found
Everything I ever needed
Everything I ever wanted
In you, and without you
I'd have lived a life haunted
I have a love for you
That will never end

Ecclesiastes 4:12, the Bible tells us that “though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”  With God, Man and Woman united, can endure what the world throws against them.

Dedicated to my wife Beth.

To Bleed

If I bleed I bleed for you
If I need, I need only you
But I cannot dream
For I cannot sleep
And in the madness
There is nothing true
If I cry, I cry for you
If I sorrow
If I sorrow for you
There is no tomorrow
Into every day
Each bleeds into one
When I cannot sleep
I enter oblivion
My life a sacrifice
One paid for you
My life is given
To an endless task
Thankless and
Forgiven by you
There is nothing
This world
Makes the sacrifice
Worth less
Than I have so as I die
Yes, I die for you
So I bleed,
Oh I bleed for truth
I die for the proof
Of the dream
You are all I adore
Everlasting
All of life
All of the bad
All of the good
Everything
Love is everything
There is nothing more
That I might reach
Love is all I wish for

Broken, not Chosen

God in Heaven, I'm broken
How can I be your chosen
Your voice is loud and present
Ever grieving, will you relent
I've nothing at all for you
Whatever you need as proof
Please, stop calling
I can't stop falling
Into the dark abyss
In the wind I twist
Hung upon a noose
You can't lose
I am lost in the mist
I am the one you kiss
Paying Judas for his sin
Paying me for the sin within
I am yours to destroy again
All my sins remain
Let your punishments reign
Over me, over me

Lost

I miss you my brother
There will and can never be
One who might take your place
I've been lost since you left
We are meant to live this life
Together closer
To knowing each other
More than any other
We were meant to know
The two, more than our self
But left upon a shelf
And thus abandoned
Until we enter the ever
And resume our time
What's the point of living
When all who and what we love
Has been stolen away
What is the point of forgiving
When the pain is repaid
Ten fold by life itself
The suffering goes on
In a kind of oblivion
Forever it grinds
Until we meet again

Nothing

I've spent every ounce of trying, and ending up with naught
I tried to be my own being but lived a life that was wrought
Why does it matter, when my one chance was wasted such
If everything I sought is lost, how could I ever get enough
Living in an era when consumption is a way to measure
Our footprint reveals depths of our wealth, and treasure
The pursuit of pleasure, the emptiness of every quest
What if there is nothing, and we wasted this one life
For a life that was empty and focused upon strife?
I surrender and beg you please don't remember
All the things I did, in this wasteful existence
In this life of no persistence and waste, truly
You know I am nothing, nothing, nothing
I'm nothing, ever I've been and will be

Somnabulist Cinematic Dreams

Burning inside, so I go out to the cinema
And wanting one side glance
I know she'll ignore me, again
And as she speaks from behind glass
She takes my money, gives me a ticket
Nothing to say, so I move on
I take my seat, ready to view
Oblivion is now, nothing is true
Nothing can help when all hope is gone
I watch others as they live on film
The imagination it will spawn
Sets me on fire, and I acquiesce
My demands will never be met
So, just to get along, I'll accept less
Holding my breath, just in case
Afraid to breathe deeply
I can't let my dreams end but can't sleep
As everything escapes my grasp
It was a world that couldn't last
All I wanted gone, I need to know
Why is a house of cards built to fall
I'm a fool, answering to the call
It runs but I can't catch up
It is able to flee
Because I am too slow
Fear is a cancer in me, it grows
Without sleep, I'll become a zombie
I thought I couldn't live without it
I will, I will, there's too much to lose
I'll need to stay awake
To avoid losing my dreams
Stay awake
Just stay

An Abandoned ...

What would seem to me, it will never be
If what I want to be true, might not be good
Why should I listen to all the voices inside
I'm being held captive of my broken mind
There is no sentence given, I'm the damned
And nothing can release me from this jail
Not my words, not my actions, not my prayers
I asked you to be honest, then I confessed
You wanted something easy, but I'm a mess
Dreams become nightmares, with me
Who knows what I could ever be
I'm the lost and soon abandoned
When life carved a mark in my heart
It was meat to a butcher, a first start
Of a life ready to collapse
A life without purpose
A deep stain and a curse
Upon the blood stained mirror's front
Reflecting fears, hiding dreams
Behind the view of the truth
Staring back from the darkness
Beckoning me to come
Forward into the void

Quit the Machine

We've dreams that can never be monetized
Enslaved by a modern world we seek to join
A machine must continue, driving and moving
Society cannot function without labors or taxes
But if we've a right to do, we've a right to not
Gears grinding upon the steel, in our courage
The machine ever works, greased by our blood
The sooner we give up, stray from its power
We can be free, find hope, even if difficult
Now is the hour of your deliverance
Let no one own your labors
Let no one own your flesh

Cold Harbor

He was raised in Tennessee, on a small family farm
As war broke between the Union and Confederacy
He was a volunteer serving on the side of the Union
Hated the cause of slavery, morally offended by it
He had worn the uniform blue of the Union Army
A natural leader, fine soldier, leading men in battle
He reached his sad last day of life June 1, 1864
The Army of Northern Virginia ready, protected
General Grant's Army of the Potomac forward
Drawn to the front, into the deadly defensive fire
After battle, dead men could be stacked like wood
As the battle was lost, the Union moved quickly
The dead were buried, gravediggers set to work
The toll taken was enormous at Cold Harbor
The dead soldier's documents, possessions saved
For the next of kin, with a letter from officials
Thanking the family for the service of their son
Cold Harbor was near Mechanicsville, Virginia
The battle fought from May 31 to June 12, 1864