The Solstice

That the season for most of Western Civilization to celebrate renewal and hope, is, ironically, during the northern half of the planet's heart of winter. We begin from there and every day grows in the amount of sunlight during each day. 

More and more, days get warmer, brighter, and transcends our human tendency towards entropy. How to keep hope alive is truly near, for we began in the midst of restorative rest, and are compelled towards warmth and light.

Be absorbed in glories of warmth to come, find your way to renew and begin again, in the cold of winter.

I need an answer

My time is now ended, time is done
Forever trying even as I was dying
There is nothing left for any to say
As you fall, no one will catch you
A body burned and I was shunned
A seer said I'd win, she was lying
This world demanded to be paid
I've nothing but knew it was true
I am lost, in the endless empty
As I pray that you find me
Waiting for an answer

A Clear Call

A beautiful moment, only Gods could not find awe
Upon humans wasted expression, too subtle for notice
This life that we are given, has potential for greatness
But we sleep upon the chance, and we inevitably fall
Perceive isolation as Hell, signal mixed, out of focus
Dreams of our own throne, beings of glory await us
In oblivion we are lost, still saved from torture's call
Our Lord is kind, seeking our love, atoms nameless
We are mistaken in fears we lost, we're offered love
We lose our path, fear of wrath, oh there's enough

“Much as oblivion is the death of sorrow
So death is life's forgetfulness" 
                              Mihai Eminescu

A hybrid Haiku, A matter of pain

I wonder, in pain
If I live, does hope remain
If not, why bother

Why must we endure
It seems like a penalty?
I am still broken

Do we all suffer?
Is suffering just for me?
It sure feels like it

The Wind's Voice Calls

From the north to south the valley held the horizon
The witness walked through the display of nature 
He'd heard his name called, wind had called him
The cold of outside faded, his mind was now afire
As he dreamed painted images, vista so beautiful
Upon this peak and ridge, the mountain spanned
In the dark, they seemed to illustrate an artwork
The shadows and moonlight shared nature's hand
They are stunning, singing of a sort of perfection
Nothing humans could accomplish could rival it
Wind spoke to him, in a tongue he did not know
He bowed before the power before walking again

 

By the uneven stripes upon our flesh, we learn

We struggle to survive in the world so loveless
The hope in our hearts was all that we had, but
By struggling inside and otherwise, we learned
Our beings being prepared to somehow endure
To stay above the surface, to not lose our place
Trying to breathe, as darkness pulled us below
Were we broken for someone's dark pleasure?
Did our scars teach us what we couldn't know
Experiencing trials, gives the context for hell
If we sacrifice, choosing life, or throw it away
I am too broken to choose more, so I stand up
Let me live, as I'm too far into the narrative 
To ever give up

In the Red Sky Days

If I ever told you, how I am made alive in your presence
You have known my trust in you, Holy One, I do repent
I've lived in deserts, alive only by grace of your holiness
With no place that I call my home, my many sins I own
I stare into the sky, and raise my hands, call your name
The horizons all burn red, as our days have grown few
I trust in you, you are my king, in a world untamed
But I have you, a King who saves and is true

“Remind yourself once more of the absolute
holiness of your task." Theodore Roethke

Love's power and mystique

The glory of love, when first in one's life
Allows belief, and it will inspire choices
In the first time and a forever time, found
The power of it will be felt, inside always
Allows us time, to know hope and to feel
Glories are found on our holiest ground
In the exquisite moment of love's reveal
Oh it reminds with power why we seek
But to repeatedly visit is to be hollow
Never again will it feel so very good
As a flame in one's spirit it guides

Before The Power of a Storm

Snow fog obliterated any way to find the path
A winter storm was the final nail in the coffin
I can't survive the cold nor exposure to winds
My digits are fat and have no feeling, frostbite
The cost of a once in a lifetime cold, is my flesh
As one's lack of winter clothing becomes death
In time the snow will cover my corpse, frozen
I will appear in winter as a marker and warning
Nature has an absolute final word over our lives
However you plan to endure, it remains greater

“If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?” Percy Bysshe Shelley

Inside a Cage, Looking Outward from the Inside

As a child I remember thinking, the year 2000 would never come
Watching news with grandpa, all the wars, hatred, assassinations
The world changed in less than a blink, not seeing an oblivion
I sat with Grandpa in a wild world, and was trapped in a cage
Inside generations, believing in the more enlightened futures
I thought I'd die before a millennia turned, before adulthood
Because I am a person, my miserable being couldn't change
I'd thought, honestly, my being was worthless or overladen
I was now in a world, amidst of the turning tides, untamed
I'd been powerless and worthless, I was the victim of rage
If I had survived, what had been the point of my being?
How could I unlearn my reactions? Of being awakened
The lifetime of being broken has left stains as I linger
In the aftermath I couldn't hope, after being hopeless
All I could do is try, not planning to succeed and not
If success was even possible for someone like me 

The chase endures

The eyes and the heart, viewed from within
Her ability to scream, her invitation to sin
I am lost in her wake, I am alive to the pain
She called out my name, as if only to blame
I fell at her feet, exhausted, I entered belief
Haze in my mind, never realized my crime
The next morning began, awake I declined
I had to end the chase, I had to live again
As this world's lost to me, life a mystery
I pray not to fail while I pray not to fall
I pray to be ready, I pray to be whole

Goodbye my Friend

She'd been hollowed out, her need unfulfilled
With a look in her eyes, she could never disguise
A life since college woven from silk, and pretty lies
She rode the horse, waited patiently for another ride
Dying before she got a chance, I swear that I tried
In the cold basement where un-housed people met
Doing things safely, doing them well not impossible
Half of the people there would die before the spring
Other half left hoping, on Afghan magic to save them
That kind of thinking isn't real, they needed a hit
My friend stared into eyes of judgement, smiling
Over quickly, she refused help, leapt from a bridge
Only her mother and I went to a memorial service
We'd both cried, thinking it was a hard way to live
A harder way to die, we hoped for peace within
Before she left, before she made us forever hurt
The pain inside and outside, impossible to fix

A poem with bad rhythm, just like my heart

In morning
Here in my office
I hear a blizzard wind 
Constantly blowing
Very hard to be outside
I'm in a world of pain
But I'm hidden away
Pain everywhere
Even on my inside
I chose this life
Nobody else to blame
I dream of the day
Of love and warmth
Instead of blame
As days go by so fast
I know my heart won't last
Broken and wondering
What's the point?
Does it even matter
With that faint hope
A heart thundering 
My dreams all scattered
Time to take a pause
Stop worrying
What I am is old
I've had enough pain
Lord I pray
Let me leave with the day
Dreams of an old man fade
And I close my eyes
Nothing left inside
And I fade
In twilight
The dusk
Takes me
Home

The Deep Divide

The world is a library and information archive but we are overdue
Our collective has become divided, between scholars and workers
A path forward needs to be known or we'll be useless and wrong
Choosing to be uninformed is to damn, or being filled with hubris
Our civilization as a whole sees advancement as being dangerous
It challenges both aspects of outlook of mind labor or hand labor
As it will lead us to being even more divided, even more ignorant
If we are born unequal, we must not be unjust or arrogant fools
Life has hope, it isn't promised to anyone but can be found
We must remember, all have worth however measured

“Without work men are utterly undone.” Nevil Shute

The Glory of Hope

She moved slowly as invaders approached, but she couldn't see
The knight who'd carried a light in his heart for her, tried to help
She felt his hand and knew instantly who it was, and softly said
You're so kind, compassion echoes in everything I hear you say
Upon reaching the stairs leading to her quarters, she whispered
You must stay safe, if you should die a part of my heart will too
She gave him a courage to fight, for an invader seeks valuables
He'd just made certain, that she'd be protected from everything
She thanked him, he told her, for you my prayers are doubled
Then he went off to join the coming battle and fight valiantly

Maelstrom

Inside the storm is a beast, wicked, vile, powerful
Attacking the least of us, it has no ethics or rules
 Wild beast of our greatest fears, hungering for us
If only the innocent might slay the guilty, in truth
Beneath crucifixion trees, as the storm destroys
We're left to wonder, what we did to deserve taboo
If we escape our death, we find the door to solitude
The storm lives, to kill us and return to its brood
If we survive, we live another day, in doom
One we can never escape, in our minds

Messengers

Called into existence, by a visionary, led by ambition
As a world outside of our planet is laden with dreams
As new frontiers are yet to be found but they do exist
Heralded dreamers are being sent into the skies above
A past project for glory and propaganda, now survival

"From out there on the moon, international politics looks so petty.
You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag 
him a quarter of a million miles out and say, “Look at that, 
                                               you son of a bitch".

Former Astronaut, Moonwalker, Edgar Mitchell

Never to Escape the Pull of Things

If in one moment, every plan will fail as your house of cards collapse
You might cry or scream as you sit there looking at a smoldering ruins
If we do matter, we'll still die leaving this material life for the unknown
Property is worthless, in the end, we'll be gone, but every minute is real
But so many fear, they fret, that they will not collect enough, gold coins
Never finding holy ground, never escaping the orbit of metal and stones
Tossing away eternity, for the lure of false needs that will never be met
Try to enjoy what you have, live without wanting what you can't have
For you can neither escape death nor take with you anything but spirit

“For after all, the best thing one can 
do when it is raining is let it rain.” 
                       
                       Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

When you are sensitive and you confuse others

I never took a moment to think from the eyewitness of the other
Took every jab as an insult, every act to avoid me, permanence
Yet when I viewed burned remains of my life, I've wondered
Why would someone who hates me give all that he was able
Why should he cry at the sins of his hands, if innocent
I burned, for my  opportunities lost to redeem a father
My indignant response, screams to a voice, insults
Never sent me away for words I felt a need to say
I wish I could embrace him now but I can't 
I am paralyzed as my future looms
For my life of flesh and blood 
Soon withers with my doom
Life is meant for all, I have lost my chance
No matter my ignorance or innocence
I lingered in hubris but I was wrong
Without salvation or redemption
I see it now, very clearly
I feel it to depths and beyond
Looking back with hope 
Mingled with regret

Survivor

I'd crawled from wreckage, bleeding, burned
Bombs struck the completely innocent homes
The birth ward was wiped out and rest of beds
Burned or broken, on fire or smoking or dead
As invaders had struck the vulnerable and poor
For those wealthy can build bunkers for safety
But the vulnerable rarely had basements, hope
The war was caused by envy, greed, and hate
Hunger and of the greater striking the lesser
Now we know, there's a short path to peace
By the death of all those who are helpless
And apathy in the ones who could help

Consigned to a ward at the abandoned Mental Hospital

I've wandered abandoned halls of medical facilities
A practice followed since confinement for proclivities
My feet drag, with no scuff marks on the floor, shuffle
With memories of life outside this place, in the muzzle
They'd left me without a word, hiding all machinations
Months of the mental silence and emotional starvation
I learned the cost of being me, as I faded into the gray
The incurred debt so great they ignored, I am betrayed
As I stare out from this room, down the halls, so cold
No more seeing the residents, children looked so old
Cloaked in an anti-suicide jacket, staring at the wall
Loud speakers speak, overnight staff has been called
No one shows, buildings are empty, rooms are dark
Last graffiti on the dry erase board, a message stark
There are no staff, this building is closed, get out
As I softly smile here I remain, and I've no doubt
So bring me my Thorazine, I'll rest for the night 
Please make sure my restraints aren't too tight
As the mid sleep charlie horses have a kick
Drive home safely, see you again Monday
Bring me a Sunday newspaper, please?

“In a mad world, only the mad are sane.” Akira Kurosawa

The Great Dragon Spoke

As I wait for the time, I've made up my mind
Worlds will bow before me, but can't restore me
Wealthy and never worked, I will go berserk
Submit to me, or your land will be memories
They already are... if only to me
And come back again into my home
Call my name and attack my own
Cry for your lives to be saved
Bow upon your knees to pray
For I stand upon a line above the world below
A line you'll never see, I am upon my throne
A difference between humans and dragons
I can live forever, you only have time
I can be patient or wipe you clean
From this world that bows before me
I will rule this sacred place
Because I rule your mind
You can never defeat me
To attempt such is suicide