Enough

Pain from loss was far more than I could take
But pain from self inflicted wounds was worse
I lingered in shadows of a life no one wanted
I grieved my life, deeply bitter, blaming God
But when I found someone who felt her worth
Never measuring worth of others, comparing
Finding me, so self entitled, I imprisoned me
My heart needed to love as much as seek love
I took a different view, something more true
Instead of my constant need, I'd well enough

“Every one is worthy of love, except him who
thinks that he is. Love is a sacrament that
should be taken kneeling.” Oscar Wilde

Only humans can wound it

We aspire to be something special,
To be far more than what we are
But in the glory from our creator
We're loved, able, and we are whole
This world is wonder filled, magnificent
Blessed indeed, found upon an anomaly
A world pregnant with life and resources
We can't praise his work ever enough
But our lives are not at all innocent
One does not need to know prophecy
To that humans are going to fail
But we were sent to find more
Than pleasure and gold
To commit wars and crimes
We have only a short time
In all this planet's years
Once the storm of its birth
Things were not settled
In that form it was struck
By meteors and planets
But since becoming whole
Only humans have wounded it
In the ways that can kill

When I fail again

I have nothing left to offer
Despite my need of your grace
I can only forgive so many times
Before I feel that I'm being used
But there is more in this life
Than hurt feelings, than grieving
I want to feel joy, I want to hope
I need to be loved, and be seen
For I am invisible, and pitiable
I ask endlessly to be healed
But my body decays
If I were the one chosen
I am sure I'd be useless
For the sacrifice is not pure
I am not spotless, not sinless
I am a mistake, a fool
But I believe, and hope
My only hope is to be redeemed
The one who makes that happen
Is you

Time in Elysium

The days go by without time to measure them
A land of peace and gentle existence, timeless
What's there to worry about a beautiful horizon
The insane pace of life will fade, to a calm rest
Once we all receive our daily bread, time ends
Reaching a moment of time, that doesn't grow
The standstill, is not uncomfortable, it is calm
I lay upon the side of the hill, in golden grass
Watching the horizon, with gentle warmth
And the days roll into other days, again
Then again it will linger in the moment
A land of gentle, perfect beauty, fertile
The days never get hot, never grow cold
Only rest, joy, and love for each other
No seasons, no history, no legacy
Only redemption, and peace

Just Follow?

I chose this path, knowing it leads to Hell
I burn inside from a way of walk, my fall
Lord called me to be, but my soul seethes
For I choose the worst things, I can't sleep
I can't dream, I am trapped in this question
How can a God perfect, create one like me
Full of sin, full of hungers, none are good
I was a stain from the beginning, doomed
Jesus offers grace, rather than punishment
Can't understand how I do not have to be
Perfect before I am clean, I'm redeemed
He didn't tell me be clean first, he said
Come follow me

The Crowd Cheers the Battle

That rhythm and time, the sound of the crowd

Sweating, exhausted from a gladiatorial battle
Bleeding from wounds, but not enough to die
Closer one comes to dying, arena becomes loud
Sands, the floor of the arena, steps uncertain
We don't hate the opponent, we honor his name
In a fight for the entertainment of the arena
A fight that will steal the life of one of those
In battle, fight for the pleasure of the crowd
He will die, losing any chance to be free
He'll die there on the arena floor, alone
Without hope of healing, or bed to die on
Citizens will pay to get in, to watch this
Violence is to entertain, a people lost
They gained an empire, but gave it up
For the ease of living, without honor

WE ARE FOREVER

The drums of war, the fires of violence
The bodies are scarred, by our actions
We do not carry the word of our Gods
We fight to feed our people, and live
The drums of war, the horns call out
We are coming, we will be there soon
If we'd quit this, our people would die
We will travel oceans and cross the land
And spread our way, and bring doom
They call us the Rus, for our red hair
And our complexion, polish by wind
This season of slaying, will end soon
But we will have changed our world
And we will have changed our lands
Neither proud to slay, nor to disdain
We're the Vikings, and we're forever

The Last Voyage

Years fully now upon me, the injuries and scars never fade
Winds blow through my being, chilling me fully through
I was navigator, by stars tracking, we sail in the darkness
My years as a very respected officer of my chieftain's crew
Oh truly I've been given something, good for life, saved
For a living mind grows, embraces winds and ocean blue
Lands found, people we meet, and the sword's sharpness
This will be my last voyage, I intend to live well and true
This life I was given was rare, one enjoyed, but painful
A life for the dark minded but light hearted, a life fair
A bleeding wound, no abate, I know I will die here
Where I've spent life, let me be fed to the sharks
They survive as do we, let me be thrown to them
I want to die feeding their hunger, with no fear
I've lived long, loved the life I was given
I wished to die at see, a joy long hidden
Now to Odin in Valhalla I will cheer
In the throes of ecstasy, knowing
Ices floes are red with my blood
I died well and valkyr approach
Choose me now maidens
I am ready!

Ignored and Hated

I was in a square cell, but the torture sessions were beyond inhumane
Told to stand on two broken legs, forced to climb with broken fingers
Ordered to kill one other for the state, to see and know if I was loyal
I said no, and I was immediately made flat on the floor, bleeding out
I'll never obey evil's unjust orders, or unjust demands, I'll reject you

A Different Kind of Sacrifice

The sacrificial altar is red with our life wine
The crowd cheers the death, with a great joy
Hope to sate a hunger of one thought divine
With a pure offering, they'll not be destroyed
But they've fallen in a pit with no true escape
Purest lamb chosen stained in its own blood
In this is a spectacle, but it is not a holy one
Surrender your own heart, give your sacrifice
Be ready for the response, it comes as a flood
And when you are washed, you are clean
Forever afterwards, redeemed
The sacrifice has already been made

No I can't, I am just me

Your punishment for disagreement
Is a way to make me turn your way
You act like I am a leper, contagious
My flesh burns, bitterness vehement
Tell me to act as if I am on the stage
No I won't, to you I'm outrageous
There's nothing inside me you want
When I die, my memory will haunt
For you've only this single chance
And don't control the circumstance
I will always exist, as you then fade
For I trust, while you stare and rust
You are so bitter and lost
In your madness and lust
Life has taught you nothing

The Emptied soul

A day arrived, and nothing whatsoever felt like it mattered
The pain was always there, hadn't changed, but was not worse
The joy, what little there was, only sometimes burst through
It was not noticed the times when it happened, silent, cold
I don't know why, but when tears fell, there was no release
As I lost beloved members of my circle, I felt zero, nothing
Went to the mirror, blew upon it, mist occurred I was alive
The truth, I would've been more happy if I'd been a ghost
At least it'd explain the brokenness and unspoken fear
Every day, I live my life, simply feeling pain, longing
Could 50 years of belief in an ideal, in practice of love
Somehow, not have been worth the time or effort?
No, I know it was worth it, but I was empty.
C'est la guerre, Je suis fini

An Unhappy Man

Smoking cigarettes, slurring his words
                   His seat buckle wasn't clicked tight
           Drinking a beer while driving wasn't actually legal
But what the hell
             He didn't have anyone waiting on him
       No love
nothing nearly enough
                          So what if he crashed
    He wouldn't even be one to be counted
He'd be the last of the last
                   The highway crew would scrape his remains
                                     put his bits in a bag
Who knew a life could hurt more than
               That death could be more peaceful
          More than fulfilling
That unliving could be something
                   more than the real thing
                          But you'd maybe hope so
You hear people say so
But they are all alive
             Am I right? Yes?
            It is easy therefore
You can say or do anything
        but unless you know
and how would you know
      if you don't do it
How the hell would you know
                                        Just how bad it could be
              Unless you did it
Just to see

One last look

The dust covered street, is free of tracks, prints or trails
Beneath it lay one last generation, bones and dust mingle
When our dreams of the future fell apart, when we failed
Because we hungered for riches, as necessities dwindled
Neither rich nor poor survived, so now is time of remains
We knew better, but every prophet was killed who spoke
Every genius was used for war, and for leisure
When the planet was dying, from our misuse