The Seeker

In the cold cocoon of technological metal
A voice wakes a sleeper from cyberdream
Time to wake up, wake up please, officer
It is time for you to wake up now please
Slow movement response, breaks the calm
A quivering hand, flickering eyes, dead eyes
The human had a look, as if to give prophecy
A vague combination of pain and clarity
The insane words mistaken for vulgarity
Why did I sign up for this duty, why, why
No happy electronic voice could ever disguise
The cold term of time and absence from earth
All of his family, his roots, his life now gone
Human space seeds planted and bloomed
Long after earth had become so doomed
Humans now wandered through deep space
The job was to search for a new home
Desperate to find some new place
Earth couldn't be replaced, now clear
Humans faced an end, by their own hand
They fell prey to their own violence and fear
The vast black space arrayed before them
Sending in all directions, the seeds spread
An existential emergency for all humans
Our survival performing a desperate search
To extend their species existence
To find and establish a new home
Or the millions of probes fall silent
And each pilot faces death alone

Embrace the Thorns

Walking to the underworld realms
I am made aware of the slicing flesh
The thorns gashing skin, again
The pain is real but meaningless
We ought to embrace the thorns
Though it brings you bleeding
If in life we embrace our wounds
It'll leave our mind changed
One sees a world from new eyes
Eyes allowed a fresh changed view
A being dead to the flesh is slain
But daily, they will know the truth
Knowing every thing of excellence
Requires patience and endurance
The thorns remind you in the beauty
Bleeding means life, but not survival
Yet it gives its blossoms for our eyes
A beautiful sound upon our arrival
Get us home, drive our sorrow away
And pain allows you chance to focus
To know the ultimate exchange
Is not for time, or things, nor flowers
Nor roses and thorns
The exchange is when you realize
The temporary dies
The permanent is worth the time
The pain and bleeding are a symbol
Proving you've escaped now
And passed into Elysium
Take me with you
I want to be there too

“We can complain because rose bushes have
thorns, or  rejoice because thorns have roses.” 
Alphonse Karr

Colors Expressed

As the world loses sight of summer
Dead wood is added to a bonfire burn
When Autumn falls the leaves drift
Winds grow in power and colors turn
Soon the temperatures become crisp
The season's purpose begins to deepen
It is a time for dying and sleeping
But also a time to begin to renew
Autumn is a gift of color and glory
Before the Winter coat of white comes
And chases Autumn's glory from view

Love is

I heard you say love is a tragedy
That life is a miserable comedy
I disagree, I say it is a mystery
Saving one from life's misery
Love is more than an emotion
Far more indeed than a notion
It is a way we are given to fly
A way to live and spend
Life's prison sentence entwined
I am perhaps too serious
At least I am not delirious
I believe that love will save us all
Just trust me for once
Always keep me in your thrall
Love will save us, for it makes us whole
Love is here to teach us
To together reach
Forward, higher
To believe
And to weave a perfect holy soul

Impermanence

Staring off, into a burning sun setting
My eyes go blind, as I start forgetting
The beauty we have within our hands
The life of each child, a grand plan
A pondering the creation of the world
Wondering upon damnation's turn
Asking who are we, why are we here
Why do we lose all who draw near?
If life is short in the concept of ever
Why is the cord so quickly severed
What did we do to deserve this place
Why does life turn gray from decay
Time steals our youth, but is it like wine
Cultivated, and as we age, more divine
Let us raise a glass, and toast
For we have become the chosen
If a soul is found alive
We have survived

The Gods of Sleep

Hypnos is ruler of the realm of somnolence
His brother Thanatos brings death
Night and Sleep serve Hypnos, the great god
Traveling together through the realms of dream
They gather and provide the inspirations there
They share the depth of color and that of scent
They give voice and song and populate
They are also messengers with messages sent
Morpheus is one of the thousand children of sleep
His role is one that is little different from his father
While he has less power, and he is careful
He observes the order, and is certain of the hour
So that none live and play in the realm of sleep
Longer than the gods desire

 

In Darkness She Will Rise

With the loss of my love
My flesh had faded to gray
My one and only, passed
Across the barrier of twilight
She is eternal but had she left me
Disappeared, gone
Upon my knees, I'd pray
As if all things on earth
Depended solely upon it
My body dies by the second
And my life decays
So much wrong in living
Without you near me
Forever I'll long
I can't hope upon nothing
As my soul is admonished
My love I'll never leave
Your lips still have a taste
In my memory is the ecstasy
It knows nothing
Of a love gone
But never wrong
I was in sorrow transfixed
Your beauty a sight to astonish
When my heart stirred, moved
I see you there, as your form rises
With the fall of night's darkness
You've returned, from the other side
I am alive inside, my life can end
For you are here to take me with you
I'll gladly leap into the grave
To be with you
For my love transcends
Forever amen

The Cost

Long ago when it had happened
We'd never even noticed
Entered into terminal descent
When all species began dying
All of our wars and addictions
Had led us to a dark abyss
With treasure, lust and violence
We found our deepest focus
We'd ignored all of the warnings
Heard screams, horrifying
We were enslaved by masters
By those desires we serve
We walked up the steps of the gallows
And then we twisted in the wind
We were hung, by our own hand
Yes, we were our own volunteers
For a punishment much deserved

“We are each our own devil, and
we make this world our hell.” 
Oscar Wilde

The Poet's Dream

The perfect image, so very serene
We can now do more than imagine
As a poet gazes, stares at the scene
His heart is awakened by the magic
Alive and hopeful, he finds meaning
Heart beats, a soul alive with passion
His mind interprets a living dream
Alive, without a need to even sleep
He is wildly aware, of a great truth
A castle stands, without question
That throne room and palace is proof
Of the ultimate human ascension

Modern Chains

We have chains even in freedom
There are slaves in modern times
We ignore the growing tedium
With material riches sublime
A clock measures off a portion
We allow control of our being
Taking orders, even extortion
So that we might have more
We live for our petty things
We become slaves
Who live in a state of envy
Rather than aspire and dream
We must acknowledge something
First to break free from the chains
Then to be certain of what is worthy
Of the love you had for the chains

“Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.”  Lao Tzu

Running does not help

Some dream of glorious things
But I keep finding myself lost
In the emptied middle of a field
And there is nothing there
Thick with old corn stalks
Unharvested, dry and dead
I sleep and that horror follows
Stealing everything I love
My eyes bleed black
My soul turned hollow
And my dreams are lost
In a field of nightmare
I am trapped in dreams of red
In all of my waking state
It hunts my flesh silently
It predicts my dark fate
I choose nothing instead
Anxiety is my companion
Insanity is more loyal compared
My life has been ruled by fear
How it rules is quite unfair
And it grows ever more near
I cannot escape to save me
I can do nothing but fade
I cannot exist passively
I have become insane
And there is nothing I can do
There's nothing I can say
I must acknowledge the truth
All I do is lost as sorrow dictates
I have to flee for my safety
But it will do no good
At least I can lie bravely
As I flee my flesh will live
Even as my spirit flies
Into oblivion

Learning a Purpose

Some say
There are too many reasons
And not enough rope
Others say
I've given up hope
My life has been treason
Some ask
Why bother crying
Praying does no good
We all end up dying
We all do
No one escapes alive
There isn't any evidence
There is no proof
Some wonder
Why go on
Why do we suffer?
Unless it is to learn
Eternity awaits
Giving up isn't the escape
But abandoning a life
Meant to have been lived
Watch, for fate is empty
Works are not enough
We must understand love
We must forgive
There is a creator's purpose
A creator waiting for us to know
A perfect god with perfect justice
And the truth shows
We all hurt
But life is about the lesson
We must learn before we go
And then it begins for another soul
All over again

The Question is Treason

I've been crying again
For no good reason
And there never is
Should I remain here
Or should I flee
The question is treason
Maybe it is time to sever the cord
We spent out lives together
We never asked for much
Just loyalty and love
But when has that ever been
Our lives, and our reality
Every small thing happens
Eventually destroying my heart
This life has left deep scars
So I'm done
You were the only, and the ever for me
The only one
So if you leave
There is nowhere to go
Nowhere for me to run
What once was heaven
Now is hell
But I believe

Since the Accident

There's nothing left of me since the accident

I repeatedly beg God to take me away

This wicked pain is relentless

But there's no one to blame

I've been broken in body, and in spirit

Grave violence done to this human form

I'd shout but no one would hear it

Storms come with or without warning

My flesh might be broken
I know it isn't permanent

I am a spirit cloaked in human flesh

Meat and spark, flesh and soul

Let me please come home

The Harvest

Humans have hunted and fished for their entire existence
Yet haven't always known the consequence of the harvest
Some methods lead to disaster, some will have less impact
Not everyone agrees that humans should kill and eat meat
The idea is less about diet as about living with less violence
What is true is that the creatures killed probably prefer to live
Outside of starvation humans don't need meat to be complete

(For the record: I try to eat less meat, and harm fewer animals, but I still eat meat.  I was a vegetarian who rarely cheated for 2 years in the 1990s, but I never liked the diet, and healthwise didn't really benefit.)

Love

Not tired speech, nor grieving
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
She spoke fire into words
When she taught I heard the truth
She spoke power in that sermon
I was a believer but now I heard
A faith in which I'm certain
The word of God is made real
When spoken and acted upon
And it all revolves upon love

Glory and Death, Freedom or Nothing

Over time we've been told that Americans are basic. We live in a more simple or basic society with no monarchy, and no real ever present cultural lies. Yes there are problems of race, and certainly, still, of equity. Supposedly we all understand the story. But that is perhaps the greatest lie.

We believe that Americans fought each other to reunite the nation. But I was taught that it was to defeat slavery. But racial equality wasn't a wide spread piety. Slavery was so important to the Southern government, and its survival itself cost many lives. Slavery was a concept leading Americans into entropy.  It was not beautiful, the war dead were slaughtered, and war is hell not painted with glory.

The Civil War was not about differences in people, nor the ethnic composition in either place, however much you might think it so. The people of various regions knew that others were different, regional difference is real, but the human species has little variance.  And while it is attractive to think about our differences, the issue is not that the American Civil War was a second revolution.

Southern states were not in revolt. The North had changed, becoming a powerful new country, and the Southern states fought and in fact sought to perform a counterrevolution and restore the ancien regime.  We must learn our true past or we'll never change our path for an open future.  Statues do not matter.  Reality that allows the truth to dominate and flourish does matter.

Hands

Take my hand
Let me feel you are near
My heart grows tired
Without you here
And I believe
But need your touch
I am filled
By your love
So hold my hand
I can't get enough
Of the warmth of your soul
Pulsing through my own
Now and forever
Be mine
Tell me you understand

The Flesh is Weary

He knew he loved her, and that she loved him
They had been through a life, together
Filled with event, joy and sorrow
Should one die, the other would not marry again
They both knew their partner in forever
Everything experienced meant they'd know
Even if anxiety might grow
That every test is for the moment
Time is a sort of experiment
Death was a simple thing
A walk through mist and never
Together they'd endure
And they could expect the same
Whatever they experienced
Forever is composed of every tomorrow

Not Heaven, But It Reminds Me

When I think of Heaven, when I see beauty
I'm moved to believe from a simple view
What I am seeing is not the thing of focus
What I see is a result, of a masterful intent
It took the eye of an artist, grace and power
Found in a creator's hand, to create such truth
And all I see is the object, not the reality
For my mind is small, unable, flawed
But someday too I will see it, in awe
Every single aspect of creation revealed
And only then will I be renewed

Not Walt but "Walt"

Our fishing guide looked like Walt Whitman
But he was not Walt, of that I'm quite certain
He said almost nothing, as he'd gently rowed
There was a silence in his eyes that showed
He was very good, though, he did his job
Even if he appeared in some ways as odd
I really don't want to diminish his skills
He was good, his help brought us to fish
Took our limit, ate until bellies were full
His quiet presence and cries of seagulls
The world that we were leaving was old
Our guide had a presence somewhat cold
So in my mind I thought of him as Walt
Stories of the time added to the mental vault
Farewell Walt, hope you live forever

Ponder

If I never wondered
I'd be a liar, and a fool
There in middle school
I was raw, ready to fail
In endless ponder
Wondering into madness
As the flaws thundered
The lightning revealing
The errors and ugliness
Within
What is there
But nothing
When the end is here
I don't care
Because I know
The truth never pretends
The truth never relents
So if I know
Then I am a few steps ahead
And life never forgives
Living or dead

The Magical Place

Few people are able to realize
The utter majesty of their home
Fewer people seem to understand
Their innate wild need to roam
But the castles were stunning
Even the residents didn't know
Visitors would stand amazed
At the King's castles and throne

The Time Waiting

All hope is gone
Doing my time
Insanity spawned
Waiting for release
Imprisoned inside
My sorrow goes on
Without relief
Without a dream
Every morning passes
Every day goes by
Every night is counted
A new day dawns
But not for me
Flesh weary
Mind weak
Spirit waning
I knew my end was coming
The time is not long

 

Reaper

Humans create to reflect the creator
Even as humans perform as a reaper
For life and death will happen
As stewards of the land
We plant and harvest
No matter the beauty of the stalk
The reaper strikes down
Cuts down the standout
His goal isn't to harm or to kill
But it happens in the process
Allowing the healthy seed to proceed
In the end of the matter
We are beings fulfilled
We celebrate the health of the grain
If humans act as if God's angel of death
Choosing our aim upon the Lord's will
It is destiny, not a desire to kill
We create the world around us
By following the creative hand
That created us, and gave us the land

To Know Love

When you wrote to me
In your handwritten letter
I thought I'd arrived in a place surreal
One that could not be better
I worried over the cause
The reason of why you wrote it
My failures are legion, my life is failure
I am a fool, and all know it
My soul seemed emptied
I know your love could fill me
I worry over all of my failures
Knowing my lost sanity
My world is made of straw
But hunger inside me gnaws
I'll trust your instincts
Even if mine are flawed
Thank you for your letter
It means so much
It took my heart and restored it
By your generous touch
I know now, that I know love 

 

Wine Release

Wine in a great chalice
Lifted, shared in a toast
While sitting upon the shore
Fortunate to be near a coast
Having a lover to share this
My life feels true
The scent of the air
Smells fresh, salty, it renews
I've had a need to fully heal
My unforgiving nature
Is going to be my undoing
Finding loves offers hope
It give me a safe haven
To be free and give back
All the love I've held in
That was given to me

One Soldier Walking

With air so dry, my throat cracked
The punishing heat drained my being
Still I walk forward, in a dust storm
Lone, survivor of the many warriors
We were unprepared for the attack
And so thirsty that visions were seen
The tribesman attacked without warning
As aliens in this land, we'd paid the toll
But nothing could have prepared us
For the desert steals your comfort
We paid the cost, in the foe's lair
We were fools, of course we were
And acted as if we didn't care
Simple men, foolish soldiers
For we were the empire
These primitives were the foe
But I was just one
And I represented the empire
Before the endless sea of sand
And the teaming many
Who would die to defend their land
Against invaders from beyond
Against any who appeared
Like me and my comrades
And those damned like us
For the time to come

Her Cold Lips

The night before she had passed
She kissed me with her cold lips
I felt a chill inside, and shivered
For my vision of her didn't last
And the ecstasy made me twist
Her presence dimmed light
Her flesh was able to deliver
A spell of elaborate madness
She was beautiful
Of bone white skin
When I saw her
I shook within my flesh
For I knew, then and still
She was able to kill me
With a single look
Like a knife
I was able to see
All that I've done
And my hope was gone
Knowing the future
Would not have her in my life

Hard Freeze

An early Autumn hard freeze hit 
The almanac said nothing about it
No one had a clue that it was near
But nature acts however it will
When it does, catastrophe is here

 

The Skull in the stained glass

A skull decorates the stained glass
Witness to the past, ignorant to time
It stares back at the viewer, deeply
And hope is not offered, nor desired
Longing for memories, entwined
Entering mortality, it will not last
This flesh fades, exists only weakly
Dreams live on, leaving no legacy
For we create all fate, and foil destiny

Love calls your name

Love calls your name
Though the future lover is so quiet
Love is absolutely untamed
Ravenous and wild in hunger
Empowering the spirit
But lust isn't the same thing
Love cannot be quenched
It will not go away silently
The more you love
The more you are able
More than a fire
Love is a flame
One that shall never go out
Love is a message sent
A red letter text
That stands out
No need to carefully read
It is tattooed in fire
Visible, clear
Branded upon your chest
Never to be removed
Love goes beyond hope
It allows hope to become more
A promise fulfilled
In a world transformed
By the very idea, by the being
For it is divine, a spiritual wine
That satisfies every need

Dissected Mess

If I were dissected they'd find nothing
My mind and soul bisected
The damnation of my physical being
My body deeply decayed
Due to years broken inside
Every breath, another second
The life before me has passed
Every day of life
A dose of cyanide
If life is a fatal disease
Regardless of belief
Religious or not
You'll never get out
You can't escape,
No one does
Whether you have faith
Or remain deep in doubt
You can only know by doing
And only once, at that

In Slumber I Fly

In my dreams I fly, in my nightmares I die
My flesh falls from the bones and body
The products of the workings of a mind
My skin pales, disappears, skeleton seen
Nothing of my flesh remains but ash and time
My flesh is temporary, and my soul goes on
The gatekeeper with judgment sublime
Will allow me or forbid me
To endure and thrive
Or fall and remain there
In the bosom of mother, mine

The Decay And Rot

The bitterness exists
Burning like fire
Should we be honest
We'd confess our flaw
Of the pain within
A rot grows inside
Found in our spirit
As if a disease
Growing worse in time
You may desire
Even long for
But never know
And sorrow the absence
Never having enough
For love is a fire
And until you live it
You'll never feel whole
And until you forgive him
You cannot move on
There is a paralysis
Unable to move
Unable to grow
Until you do
Decay rots you
From the inside
Polluting your core
Polluting your mind
Rot and decay are poison
A flesh failing
Outside of the truth
There is nothing to do
Once the rot sets in
Like a deep seated sin
Unless you surrender
And grow within
And speak to yourself
Saying to yourself
I forgive

Shocking Blue Bolt of Water

Autumn transitions to winter
Leafless trees are nearly bare
As faeries dance in Autumn
And ready to dance again
A rushing blue bolt of water
Moves through a stream's bed
Faeries provide tender care
Working with love, happily
Reminding the forest
That life is so fair
Singing with joy
The land is listening
Healing earth
And her inhabitants
No leaves left
Upon the cold surface
Nor can be found
Any other nature debris
The waters move
And flow, glistening
Providing beauty
Dwelling in serenity
A foreboding frost might fall
The gray cold is in the air
The Faeries happily dance
They exist to act to prepare 
As ever, Winter will come
Memories of the green shed
As each new season is begun
Every change
Every phase
Bears a legacy
Not a burden
It is a gift
Crafted expertly
By the creator's hand
This living world has purpose
The temperatures will descend
Then the blue bolt will freeze
The living world enters dream
The living creatures sleep
And the scene so lovely now
Will be amplified in beauty
As frost and snows come
Crafted in excellence
The new season begun

 

When the Devil Knocked

The devil knocked upon my office door
I answered it, and asked what he wanted
He said I had lived in a state of madness
That my life had been spent like a whore
And I could be free from being haunted
My life had spun upon a false world's axis
And he asked, why do you keep fighting
Why do you wonder if the world hates you
The darkness is comfort as well as blind
Why do you live in the shadows of night
Why do you flee from all you know is true
Wouldn't it be easier to commit suicide?
I said no, I'd rather burn, feel the pain
Wounded with uncontrolled bleeding
No surrender to apathy
Nor admire entropy
Pain's not the problem
No I've become insane
Offered my flesh up
To all the sharks for feeding
Denied all hope, all kindness
Even my flesh lost all ecstasy
I said goodbye, closed the door
Then I heard him let out a cry
For he had lost everything
Even if I had nothing
I had victory, my soul remained
The devil left emptied
After trying all his lies

Packing The Trunk

When you told me to leave
I was ok with that
I had long ago failed in belief
I didn't find common ground
I didn't cry, didn't make a sound
I had to search for a new home
I had to leave my native shores
I packed my stuff
Like fitting tetris blocks
I was never enough
You could never love
Someone like me
You could never enjoy attention
From an empty being like me
I couldn't beg you
Nor ask for more
If you think I am worthless
Then I'd be worthless to my deepest core

White Horse

I dreamt that I rode a white horse
But it wasn't one of the four
Who beckon the final times
My great companion was driven
To reach the end of our world
Before time's sands ran dry
And before my heart expired
We were followed by a fire
That cast smoke across the horizon
Like that of a well stoked pyre
It rose into the sky like a rocket
As civilization burned
All our legacies ruined
And I saw the end
We'd destroyed everything
We let loose weapons of power
And now our buildings
And all that we had built
Had fallen, had decayed
And no one cared
For there were no more humans
But the world still turned
Every day
Every hour
Every minute
Every second
We are not necessary
We are just parts of the dream
We could have reached paradise
But instead our dream turned nightmare

Free to Love

When I have awakened, you're on my mind
As I go to sleep, you're certain to be my dream
You've removed my fears and pain, inside
You're the reason I could now decide
To give up my hurt and brokenness
Every thing that was so dear to me
You are my hope, my eternal light
You give purpose to the secrets I keep
Your love cleanses me from the blame
Life is a puzzle, you're the answer
Life is a trap but you helped me escape
Life is a cage, your love set me free
I love you, you saved me from sorrow
All that love allowed me to believe

Lost in the Past

I love him, like a father, a brother
Maybe not a lover
His words changed me, rearranged me
Stole my disguise
Took away my covers
Why, well I do not know
He might be deranged
His madness might be staged
But here I am, 1800 years later
With modern taste
A modern mind and range of ideas
But still, what he said
Destroyed me
From the core and outward
And I left
With nothing now
For he is gone
And has been
For so long
There is nothing left
I am bereft
Alone in the modern world
Ovid knew the truth and said it
And he was punished
Like Pound
For being honest enough
To say it
Is worth every single punishment
Every bit of torment
I swear
I deserve it too
For just watching
As the clouds fall
Forsaken doom
Again
And again
And again

In the Asylum

The madness keeps me from being
It keeps me from moment to moment
Awake to the endlessly awake
And walking throughout the asylum
I'd rather dream, rather to sleep
Rather than awake for the torment
And I know there is nothing
That will save me, save me please
From forever living in the depths
Of this place, with no release

A Raven's Meal

 
It danced with every step
Upon the white field of snow
The raven approached carrion
Long dead but recently thawed
The snow cover was diminished
Retreating under heat of the sun
A spring time miracle
The river bank's offering
Finally revealed
Under the sun's light cast
This raven knew
What hunger had meant
But the hunger would end
And now was the moment
When the thaw was done
A feast upon dead flesh
About to partake
In a vast final repast
Before leaving by flight
Upon the approach
By one with a camera
Who sought to capture
A moment that wouldn't last

Pride's Judgment

I was called to be a witness
As I lived through this existence
Playing upon my great regret
Of the choices of the flesh
But the enemy confessed
A contradiction of darkness
Trading hope for lust
Receiving envy for trust
Moment by moment fear rising
A yield disastrous of human pride
Lived inside was a mystery inside
Of the worst possible timing
Living the last seconds of life
And an eternal judgment waiting
But my flesh was dead
And my soul decided
I refused to fall
I would never serve
And left my soul to the judge
Who offered mercy instead

When It Awakens

Beneath the waves, the ocean's fathoms covered it
It'd slept, undisturbed, unmoving, not breathing
For millennia it lingered, appearing dead, quiet
Possessing godlike powers and great intellect
The horrid beast had prepared for the time to come
He would finally act, after he had healed
With malevolence it plotted, before it recovery
A tomb it slept in, was a location now unreachable
Untouched by humans, the island felt like an asylum
Odd architecture, no walls, the madness was perfect
When Great Cthulhu awoke, the earth stopped
A giant tentacle, then an arm reached upwards
The moment was heavy, pregnant with fear
For none could even hope to stop it now
It'd announced the presence
Cthulhu's awakening cast a mental net
Meant to confuse and control humans
Against this monstrous intellectual power
Against a beast so powerful, it seemed a god
The end was seen on the horizon beckoning
As a result of Cthulhu's arrival would be doom
It was not to be humanity's anointed hour
Among humans there'd only be dead bodies
Upon the earth, Cthulhu was a curse
It planted an orchard of cruelty
Growing as the destruction increased
Ending only when Cthulhu was bored
And only then would it be over
Only then would the violence cease

“Ah, I cast indeed my net into their sea, and meant to catch good
fish; but always did I draw up the head of some ancient God.” 
Friedrich Nietzsche -- Thus Spoke Zarathustra

The Haunting

A soft voice repeats
You sleep so sweetly
Your head on a pillow
Whereas I never sleep
I close my eyes, enter
A world of shadow
And of deep despair
Your presence lingers
In my mind and still
I know you don't care
You have never wanted
What you've received
You never believed
That I'd be the one
Who became
Who I've become
Oh how I loved you
Loved the idea of us
I wanting something
I wish I was wrong
I wish I was gone
I wish you could see
How everything I've said
Has come to be
I wish I was gone
You could sleep deeply
Forget this existence
I wish my life was done
So you'd have
What you want
Not a half loved fool
Who follows you
Wherever you lead
But a new life
Without living ghosts
Who haunt you