A Historical Truth involving my father

He thought that the world was growing insane
With every change it made him realize
Something out of his hands was going on
Visions of what my father saw
He thought the world would break
Thought I was an incarnation of Satan
For not buying into modern society
He thought guys wearing earrings were gay
Or that women in army fatigues were lesbians
He saw the changing world and blamed me
He thought the youth deserved the blame
With every change he saw it as moral decay
You know there may be some of that
In time it happens with every nation
But it isn't the youth who are responsible
Its the changing tides of time
Moral corruption of empire
And the impact of wealth upon the next generation
Why should you dig ditches when
You aspire to the highest office
Or why should you save money when you can spend it
When you have enough to buy everything
The eldest generation might burn
So angry, so outraged
But it isn't moral decay
Its the way life and modernity works
A cycle that keeps turning it always has
This world burns, and it returns
Dies and comes back alive
Life is absolutely absurd
Like whatever happens on this world

This poem is focused upon the generational divide and not directly my father.  The pic below is likewise a symbol of the aged men who think their world has gone to Hell.

Fred and Truman, A cat and his human

In a warehouse there is a large cat
Who keeps the company of a human
They are friends and love the other
Neither work, they've both grown fat
The cat is Fred, the human is Truman
Both are older, still miss their mother
They will be found in the near future
Asleep in each other's arms
Never needed protection
Never wanting more
They've found forever
Absorbed in infinite charms

Every morning sun

With every rising sun
I've noted with joy, Apollo's repetition
There is no reason to question
If the sun will rise today
If life is unfulfilled oblivion
It nonetheless is a continuation
Of the world's system of existence
I hear the gods laugh
And that laughter seems to be perdition
Life can be an emptied depression
As I move through the haze
Waiting to die, and enter Elysium
Now becomes forever after

Words Kill.

Words don't kill?
How about the words on a page
Written by the sovereign of a country
As he condemns a person to a work camp
That is really a work until death camp
For some imagined violation or unproven crime?
How about a telegram
Like that informing a mother
That her five boys were killed
When the USS Juneau sank in naval action
Only this different mother
who had sons in the navy
All on a single ship
Who were just as special
Has had a heart attack
Reading each sorrowful line
Perhaps an executive order by a President
Ordering the nuclear bombs dropped
On Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Ending the war
With the greatest count of the dead
For all time?
Words kill.
They kill more than you know.
They kill for terrible reasons
And they kill for informative reasons.
Words Kill.

The Dragon's Castle

Humans build walls, raise towers
Build across rivers, the landscapes
As an attempt to show their power
For there are other castles of the land
That are dwellings of fire dragons
Within their walls then sleep
These enormous angry beasts
Too difficult for one man to slay
They sleep to recover from the battles
The efforts to perform their duties
And to finally keep humans away
They keep closing in
Dragons are not eternal but are powerful
No walls, not even mountains
Can block them, nor impede their journey

Between you and me

Kiss me and tell me of how I've failed
Oh worker of the faithful opposition
My flaws are given voice so repeatedly
So please let me know how to improve
I agree that I'm a stupid insensitive male
I guess you've identified the problem
I even know just one position in bed
You keep trying, to fix me
I am a beast being led
This is like living in a zoo
So please tell me or sign the release
And let me prove I mean business
Or tell me to move along it is up to you

Gatekeeper

A samurai devoted to study
Can be called a kensai, a sword saint
Few achieved such status
In his lord's domain, a samurai stands
At the head of the bridge
Holding lightning in his hands
Should he die or live
Survive but lose the battle
He will face the ultimate test
His flesh is committed to service
Dedicated to his lord
And the most obvious means for this
Is with a magnificently crafted sword
And by his flesh, blood and bones
He will give every effort for the emperor
Who now sits in honor
Upon the Imperial throne

Liars

Look, this friendship is doomed
We both know the truth
Your word isn't good
If I take you seriously
I give credit to a thief and shitty liar
If I give you my time, I'm a fool
Because I know you
Nothing could ever change what I've seen
Nor could you replace all of the proof
That you've given and keep giving me
Time after time
After time after time

But I'm not Alone

I'd like to write a letter home
Mom, Dad and cats are dead
Actually I been away quite long
But I'm not alone, in my mind
Maybe I should wonder
Why do I still care
But this is by design
I have a broken mind
And don't fit in other lives
I can just drink beer instead
Everyone I know being gone
It shouldn't hurt any feelings
But if I am alone, just remember
Smile or frown, all that is good
And move on, I can't go wrong
With the beer fog
And my mind forgetting
All I know
And everyone I ever knew

Strike Ninja

In the night, sentries watch
Ignorant of the danger weaving
Shinobi sneak across darkness
Wearing black, armed with sai
Leaving caltrops in their wake
Slowly, moving silently, evenly
Finding a way to the lord's room
Quickly they accomplish the task
The lord and his exquisite lover
Are now executed and prepared
The dead flesh awaits a cold tomb

The Oni Lords

Back in their castles

And their comfortable domains

The samurai lords made known

They would travel to Korea

Defeat Korea's navy

Kill Korean armies

Steal their collected riches

And enslave their workers

In the depths of their despair

Korean leaders called out in prayer

Saying please help us, anyone,
Will anyone help us, please?

We'll do anything
We're the aggrieved

And nothing happened

No one responded for days

As the samurai armies made inroads

Over and over again 
The enemy armies slaughtered

And captured women and children

Defeated warriors made slaves

The gods of Korea were silent

Until a cadre of Oni listened 

And soon made a bargain

With the Korean leaders

Drawing strength from fire

The Oni raised a hellish army

And stood their ground
As the Samurai approached

Soon, the slaughter made the ground wet

With blood, and Oni ichors from the deep

Had fought and died

Slaying countless bushi

After the battle

The samurai and the Koreans knew

Oni exist, whether one believes or not

Waiting for the next time

Too many tears gone by
Too many years long dry
A world awaits a savior
As I wait for the next time
When I am allowed to live
Whatever happens to others
The card isn't for me
Not to die, we all die
Planning is useless
How many truly live
Staring death in the eye
What does it matter
If everything dies
Living is no more brave
Than to leap into the abyss
Taking death by the hand
Giving him a full mouth kiss

Life is Precious

He had cancer
A terminal diagnosis
Told he was going to die
He saw it as a chance to live
He had to make amends
Had to learn how to forgive
Spend his time crying
Very little need to pretend
Life was now precious to him
Soon it'd be gone
But that fine
He was ready
All those false bargains
He made with his gods
They never listened
Until he stopped
They never answered him
He knew the answer within
He told everyone
That he was finally happy
But in truth
He no longer cared
He knew he was going away
Finally understanding
Life was good
Every new day precious
Good bye dying
Hello living
It was time to give
To live every day

Invasion: Britain

In the first invasion attempt his Legions failed
All the while the Celts watched, screaming
There they waited, mocking the Romans
As they struggled to reach the shore
The Celts imagined a killing blow
While standing upon Dover cliffs
Looking at the scene below
At a site chosen by random, not serendipity
Roman ships floundered
The Legions were nervous
Even fearful
They'd followed where Caesar had led
His decision for invasion seemed folly
Appearing to be more impulse
Than by any plan, or design
Caesar was strategically minded
And a master tactics on the field of battle
But now it seemed for all who viewed the scene
That Caesar failed twice
Either he believed enemy lies
Enticing an opponent
Or, giving the appearance of being unworthy
Caesar took what appeared to bait
His acts now seemed more violent
Than anything planned
And after battles and disasters
He took his troops and left
To return again
Another day

Turns

The world doesn't stop for you to turn
The game isn't one for kids to play
If you stare at the sun then you'll burn
And hide your eyes, it is time you fade
Let power flow through your body
Let the darkness flee as quickly
Open your mouth, breathe antibodies
Watch your step, blood gets slippery
Should you ever decide to think
Choose to be silent and sleep
The waves cause your float to sink
Open your mind and enter a dream
And enter the state of the universe

No Perfection, Only Flaw

We hear how what we want is perfection but I say that isn't true.  Perfection is fine for a god or if you live in a dream but I am made of meat.  My ideas are bloody and dark, and I look at the world with a view that isn't what it seems.  But it is complete with zippers and scars.

Perfection is a false god, and one who will never be. I want dreams I can realize. Because I am nothing but me, nothing except me. I am composed of meat and failed dreams and only there am I a God, in my precious sleep, for the time I spend in dream.

I begged

I begged you to listen
For years I spent on my knees
I'd been truthful the entire time
You refused, preferring ignorance
And now we're in this place
Of pure shadow and doubt
 How can we ever escape
I offered my surrender
I offered my keys and to leave
But you refused
By refusing to choose
It would've been a way
Just to figure it out
I take the blame
But only my share
While to your own shame
You welcomed defeat
And now we've found ourselves
Here
Instead of there
Trapped in the web
You wove with your deceit

Connected

Being cast from mother's womb
Into the dark deep cold of space
Connected by the umbilical cord
I'm the last survivor of my race
The spirals of wire and hose
Tangled my feet as I release
A craft struck us at midpoint
Leaving the hull breached
I'm falling from orbit
Covered in dust
The other craft as large as a beast
But it is an artifice
Far larger than our ship
Broken along the hull
The collision destroyed us
Causing major rips
The damage is fatal
As the atmosphere pours out
The rush of oxygen like wind
It is sucked out lightning fast
We'll be dead, no survivors
And I wait for the ultimate end
Soon I'll see the reactor's blast
I'll float off without rescue
Drifting in the dark expanse
No hope for life
No hope for anyone
No hope for reentry
In no time I will die
In a blink of your eye

Breech Birth

When the world screams in pain
Shouts towards the sky grieving
I worry that it burns for me
When people across the world die
I worry that they died for me because I exist
I am the remains of a world
That died to bring the next world into being
What a terrible thought
Thank God I wasn't a breech birth
Thank God for answers to doubt
The world would have died with me
Had my being been let out

The Flood

Half woman and half machinery
My flesh failed, I then evolved
I'm clockwork, a machine in control
Parts replaced, designed by theory
Dreamed into being hoping to solve
The problems troubling a human soul

Freeman

They tried to make us live lives worse
Than caged animals in a zoo
We had been born under a curse
Of slavery
Wrapped in chains like a beast
That if free it would feast
Or a rebel needing to be free
Finally
I'd a thirst so deep, I could barely breathe
A need so vast I fell upon my knees
There was nothing I'd do differently
Even if this attempt took my life
My flesh torn by the journey
From the chains of captivity
Those remaining behind
Were a sort of residue
Memories of a legacy
Of a world that needed to die
Now I understood the truth
All men are equal from birth
For days I planned my escape
Even if I died in the attempt
Not one more day would I labor
For those who held me in contempt
Freedom was the only thing I could see
A longing so great, I could understand
There is no difference between us
Than our outward appearance
Slavery of man requires all to lie
To keep one from being the same
A lie to keep one people down
In chains, upon the ground
Now that I finally breathed free
The air I once knew is fetid, vile
The old ways of life are rotting
With a foundation that had to go
To know what we all deeply already know

Coffee and News

To have a morning coffee
With a cigarette while reading
Is a momentary sort of prayer
Shake off the mind's zombie
The mind hungers, now feeding
An intake of a powerful sort of air
Inflating the spirit, the flesh, and dreaming

Paradise or Apocalypse?

They said he was insane

That he was evil and wrong
His idealism led him astray
And his audience was gone
But what if he was right
Except at the edges
Or maybe someone
Or everyone
Needed him to be quiet
So we can bomb the spit
Out of everyone
Or anyone
So you can react in silence
Leaving your morals behind
So long as you win the game
And there might be a bomb
Leaving black rain
But let's keep it down
Hush, shhh, let's be happy
Ignore the shame
Just kill everyone
Don't worry again
Bombs are the answer
Truth is the cancer

“It is difficult to write a paradiso when all the superficial indications are that you ought to write an apocalypse."  Ezra Pound

Duplicitous

Our minds carry more than a single thought
More than a single personality or being
Our life's wages have finally wrought
The completed soul, within a dream
More than joy, more than ire
We are more than a single idea
More than a hope, more than a fear
It is the flesh that limits
The reach our spirit desires

Still

Here's my list of utensils to remain alive
My gun, a skull, my book, and my map
I know that danger requires perceiving
As I fall into existence and must survive
I am preparing for the fight, being slapped
As my reality flees in the face of grieving

For Better, For Worse

Try to imagine a different world
One where the Nazis won
Using missiles and atomic weapons
Or a world where slavery never ended
And the Confederacy proved vital
Able to somehow win a war
That they should have lost
Ask yourself this question
What would it have mattered
If certain events never happened
If people never opposed aggression
Or if wars of empire never occurred
Would the facts of the present day shatter
Or does fate somehow have its way?
Does destiny exist
Would all we know that is good
Never enter existence
If the enemies of hope
Were never faced with resistance?
What if?

Damn Twinkies

In the perhaps distant future
At an archaeological dig
A worker will find a Twinkie
Pristine, found in wrapper
Many years beyond the expiration date
The analysis will prove
Twinkies were unhealthy in the past
Bad for diabetes and for the heart
It remains edible, if unpleasant in taste
The workers laugh as they approach
There they will bite into it, upon a lark
Much later
The sugar rush will cause an explosion
Making the workers heads explode
But for a moment
They liked it very much
So delicious
So dangerous

The Final Toll

How will you be remembered
As dying spark in a clay flesh pot
Or a vibrant soul, always seeking
Living in an eternal December
Forced to fit through a conformist slot
While never wanting or needing
Dying in the throes of existence
Or swimming
In the flow of the eternity's river

To be fulfilled

Some people don't care if they leave a legacy
And others think it isn't up to them but to god
While some burn inside waiting to be fulfilled
Acting for others where the hubris runs wild
But some will find a path achieving pregnancy
Wanting to be a perfect parent even if flawed
They posses a desire to fulfill the need within
Pouring out love and energy to raise a child
It is a noble choice, a rarity in this modernity

Scared Crows

The crops waiting for the harvest
The hand of the grower, the farmer
September turned October gone
The earth designed by an artist
The winds are sharp
The days no longer warm
But this is not a human conquest
The skies are empty
The hunger hangs in the air
There is no prize, nor contest
The survival of the wild in question
As all the crows are frightened
Nothing but the dry clouds
And waiting crops
For a people who passed from view

Believe it or Not

History is not a clay we can play with
Create with, or form anything from

We might prefer fables that give us comfort

No matter how well some beat that drum

Many interesting things never existed
However interesting

If only in the minds of the imagination

A well expressed creative voice
So does that make it a lie? Maybe
Does it make it any kind of myth?
Perhaps

Be honest with yourself
Things might entertain
They might be untrue
Be careful with important things
Be honest so that you might know
There are things you must understand

Don't allow yourself to live in a fantasy
Those that you or others create
But if you let your mind be free
Let yourself fly across the sky
Imagination is good
Facts are great
But without one
The other feels like a stone
Weighting down your heart
Some things may never be explained

So hope greatly
Be prepared

There is nothing else you can do

  It is not wrong to wonder
Nor is it wrong to use your brain

It might even allow us to survive disaster
Caused by our own hands
Or caused by things
You've never understood
Nor would you have imagined

To Wear a Mask

We often choose our mask
For the present masquerade
But we do so to hide our pain
To avoid knowing our shame
To exist becomes a grave task
As we are revealed by questions
That the world longs to ask
Will we be able to hide
Will we be able to save our name
From the truth that longs to escape
Through my mouth
Through my sorrow
I cannot hide
Long enough

How We Fail

America lost the Vietnam War
Yet, wasn't truly a military defeat
We lost by throwing lives away
Of our youth, of the Vietnamese
50 years later we bear the scars
But we measured victory
By counting bodies
There is no honor this murder
No grace in slaughter
We treated our warriors like meat
Offered up to slaughter and hate
Followed up with shameful retreat
Few realized what was happening
Few then understood the chances bleak
With leaders unaware of consequences
Of wasting the finest vintage of youth
Politicians worry about the balancing
Of looking powerful but being weak
No one foresaw the loss of innocence
All politics died in the light of truth
How can democracy survive
In the crucible of hubris and fire
We fought for ideals not shared
By the Vietnamese North or South

By our hand we gave power to tyrants

And then empowered the political liars

Though we acted as though we cared

All we ever did was create doubt

“Anyone who does not acknowledge the darkness in his nature will succumb to it...the lamp of conviction needs to be shaded by doubt, or it burns with a blinding light.”  Phillip Caputo

Damnation, Castration

Enter life cessation
Voluntary castration
Choose your damnation
And live with the results
My life can be a dark insult
Demanding I become an adult
But I prefer to walk away
Without comment

The Night

If I am honest, and I hope to be
I'm not a fan of the idea that
We can do anything
As long we just try
Or by praying enough
We can move God to act
Trying is good, praying is as well
But neither replace reality
Again, if you want the truth
There is a reason we fail
Sometimes our task is too great
Or our path is too difficult
All of these travails
Are no different for others
We all struggle
We all desire less wrath
And to find hope
And victory
You need hope in victory or defeat
Struggle bears a fruit
That is greater
Than the cost of failing
The seeds of greatness
Do not come from winning
They are born from learning
After the greatest loss
They are born from hope
Born from despair
They are born from the fire
That burned the world
We have to accept one thing
We will not win every fight
For us to appreciate the day
We need to experience the darkness
Of the night

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”  Plato 

Sleeping Behind the Veil

Pristine and cultured
Her figure cloaked
Precise as sculpture
Her eyes closed
She'd seen a world
Being dismembered
And sleeps to recover
As the world burned
By violent uprising
She dreamt a better day
And her majestic grace
Made its way
To the reality of others
She dreamed
And slipped behind the cover
Of a veil made of silk
Her mind created hope
A world made serene
Her throne diminished
Begging the people to now
Bear her crown
And become sovereign
Without a need for queen

The Master, and Emperor

Alone among the masters of war and leadership

Was Napoleon Bonaparte of the French Empire

More than understood the flow and tactics of war

He dreamed in strategy, creatively wove battles

Some nations only respond to armies and warships

His will and accomplished talents set Europe afire

The invasion of the Russian Empire settled no scores

Still, his army hadn't crossed the English Channel

He saw his invasion and grand strategy, as genius

  Due to trials his troops suffered, they trusted him

Napoleon and army arrived to find the city of Moscow

Her defenders set it afire, denied it to the French Eagle

He won most battles but still lost, a revealed hubris

For once he couldn't a guarantee victory by his skills

And while he was shaken, his way was still proud

For in his mind he'd built an empire without equal

He'd been victim of believing of his own greatness
While skills and talents in war are important

But even Napoleon recognized the truth

That our future will be built and bloom 

By cultivating thought, art, and architecture

With war we shall only arrive
In our deep oblivion and doom

“There are but two powers in the world, the sword and the 
mind. In the long run the sword is always beaten by the mind”   Napoleon Bonaparte

The Couple

He played violin
As she gazed into the sky
They were interacting
As the sun was rising
She imagined they could fly
Two engaged in dream
A mutual attraction
Desiring one another
Feeding off the energy
Watching a moment in the sky
And falling for one another
The love was not a mystery
Together they'd weave a legacy
One of compassion
Loving and living
Dreaming and being
Creating their own life
Making their story one of care
One of forever love
As husband and wife

When I am Done

It is a new home
Not a prison
Taken to the island
Where Death brings his children
They have no fear
They are in awe
This stone artifice amazes
And captures their vision
As the flesh reality diminishes 
No one from living world visits
Upon the dusk horizon
There is an island hidden
No one knows the path
Where to flee
There is no escape
But here it is silent
It is comfortable
And there is no wrath

Emptied Cities and Lives

With every modern war of mankind, the victims are forced to flee

An efficient, technological culture is performing mutual homicide

Steel bombs know no distinction, between the innocent, or the guilty

Biological terrorists, weapons of mass destruction, lead us to collide

Indiscriminate attacks empty cities that once thrived with activity

The human hive collapsed when missiles attacked and they replied

Leaving barren dead landscapes, emptied homes, and radioactivity

We fancy our world as modern, our civilization as great

But we have failed and threaten to lose everything

Once the last walls of hope fall and crumble

“We can’t go on much longer morally. We can’t go on much longer scientifically. The 

technology that was supposed to save us is ready to destroy us. New weapons are being 

made all the time, including chemical and biological weapons."  Billy Graham

Still They Gather

A gathering in the vale
Ghosts of worshippers
Who met there
In their living days
Their voices still can be heard
Even the trees bow
As the eternal desires vibrate
And the ghosts recite their vows

Revolving door

You said that you had a secret
And you'd saved it just for me
Don't you see
That that is a game of pretend
I didn't want a thing
No secret love, no secret hope
You were my greatest regret and now
I didn't plan to give you a ring
You said you wanted freedom
And nothing I might bring
To the table or altar
Could change your thoughts
You worked me up
You worked me down
You wanted more
I was haunted
By the door as you used me
Revolving in and out
And all around
I needed stability
Not this crazy life
Saying yes, saying no
Or even saying I don't know

 

The truth is...

You said that you wished I'd love you
But it is worth saying
You're romantically involved with someone else
And it is true that they probably love you
The truth is that you want a safety net
Sprawled wide below
So you might jump or by accident fall
Whichever way you might go
I don't find it appealing that you love me
Or would want to do so
If I were too, too
Nor that you'd leave one relationship
To enter one with myself
I don't find in me the desire to cheat
I know that I am loved
But even if I did not
I'd simply leave before I betray
Because she is someone I love
Rather than make plans in the darkness
That I might forever be with a partner
No matter how unethical I am
Or as immoral as it might seem
I don't leave one, to have another
No matter how easy that might be
In your eyes

 

When Death Visits

Mothers bring life
Carry it in their womb
But until recent years
In modernity
Pregnancy could be a tomb
And who knows if the this child
Will now become the last
How many children were never born
Because the mothers were stopped
From giving life ever again
Dying in the process
No one to nurture us
Nothing remaining to lead us
The sorrow of loss
Driving the society to utter collapse

Cold White Flesh

If humans were without material possessions
How many would find a way to enjoy life
Or would our desire to have things to own
Make us miserable, leave us empty
Or would our emptiness then drive us
To somehow find a way
To know the blessings
To know the beauty
Of living without extras
To exist without needless things?

Drunk and Sober Thoughts

On occasion a drunk mind is better, by far
Than the sober brain of a man with only
The thoughts of power and knowledge
Dreaming of grandeur and prowess
That he'll never possess
A drunk man tells a truth as he knows it
Even if he laughs at the absurdity
He knows the truth and it pours out
Meanwhile
For those who overcame doubt
Those scientist and generals
Politicians and professors
They can't make a decision
That is both righteous
And made with the soft heart
That a happy drunk can't help but have

Break it again, damn you! Just try

He cried, remembering and said
Before I knew what hit my heart
You said you "fucking loved me"
And we'd barely met
But I was barely alive
I was nearly dead
Living a different life
Than anything like you lived
Here you were
Daring me to live
I had a heart full of scars
I was blinded by the haze
Of the hate of one
Who decided I was unworthy
I had run out of everything
All I had to give
Life was hard, but you gave
And I didn't know to take
You wanted to be together
I didn't understand
The kind of love
You wanted to make
What is worth doing
How can I love
I'm just a man
Burned inside and covered totally
With tons of sad memories
Time I spent in life trying
So look me in the eye
Tell me you mean what you said
Because until this moment
I thought I was dead
And I don't know why
We should be together
Whatever you've said
I never say never
But forever doesn't exist
An idea I resist or so I try
When I see you
Your beautiful eyes
Full of life
Full of willing to try
I wonder
Why can't you just kill me
And let me die or let me fly
I'm ready, either way
I'm ready so ready
Ready to fly away