On my knees

Upon my knees every day
As my own wisdom fails
Trying to live a better way
My life had no hope at all
Failure led me to always fall
Prayers to God are my call
I am asking the eternal to listen
Because my demons are driven
Making me fail my mission

Reflection of Narcissus

He was a hunter as a craft
But he became distracted
For he was wont to kill anything beautiful
His fascination with beauty
Led to nothing romantic
He was so deeply moved by beauty
It transcended anything sexual
He showed abject disdain
To the entreaties of other lovers
He had no desire to know them
Their declarations mattered not
Love was for others
When a nymph named Echo
Was drawn to him
She was not able to make an impression
However beautiful she was
At the moment she was ignored
For Narcissus saw his reflection in the water
And therein found who he most loved
Echo faded from view
Her heart deeply rejected
And he stared deeply
Until he faded too
Deep calls unto deep
But vapid calls to vapid

A Creature of the Night

You cannot tell me as a creature of the night 
That it is required for me to seek your light
You cannot know how it feels to hunt prey
Or know the native feeling of when we slay
A kill does not darken me nor fill me with glee
Yes, I possess knowledge and the visceral feel
But my hunt and need does not arise from evil
Nor does it come from a desire born primeval
I am more than a man, even more than a beast
My prey taken down is more than a feast
Acting upon the nature that I've been given
I am not evil, don't ask to be forgiven
You are blind, not seeing, this is a drive
I cannot avoid it, it keeps me alive
I am a creature who hunts for need
Foolish sermons I refuse to heed
So know that I'm a creature of the night
Created by one who knows only light
If my life is a result of a dark or evil curse
Why did my creator not keep me from birth

The Midnight Path

After the dance
With a love I lost
Of a life embraced
Without measuring cost
I walked along a midnight path
Where few before had tread
Between the twilight's wrath
And dreams that leave me dead
Who am I to question
That which steals from me
The desire to end the quest
Endure the nightmare dreams
I am alone all the while
With no place to find home
My flesh has worn away
Leaving nothing but bone
I long to leave but cannot
I am chained to my past
Where my path has led
I will endure, live unto the last
Remembering nothing that I've said
There is nothing in the beyond
That you can earn
Nothing you can dispel
If the anger burns
So I keep it in
The urge within
To escape
To endure my own rage
I've allowed myself to be a slave
And there is nothing left but
My own bad intentions
And failings
How I've failed
Oh God save me
For I cannot save myself

A story of my Viking DNA

My flesh called to me, waking me, looking full into my soul. Calling out the history of what I am. Born to one but raised a foundling, I knew that I was made for one world but lived in one very different.

My ancestors had howled, we were the wolves of the sea. Spanning the oceans wide violently,  our reach was unlimited, unlike the imagination of borders and barriers that only weaker men see.

The Viking blood burned beneath the surface.  As I grew older, told stories of my origins, so many false stories I needed the proof.  Only a test of my blood revealed truth.

I was born to fight, born to win against the foes crowding in. I was a Viking and ready to discover new lands.  I was a warrior and scribe with an axe and quill pen in my hands.

THE DNA STORY

Strong but tender

Love can be strong
It can also be tender
History tells us nothing
But to embrace forever
I long for you
That is a feeling
That will never be gone
Your love is one
I'll always remember
And that's something
In this era of nihilism
And selfish narcissistic desire
I burn inside for you
And it will never fail
If you pass from view
I'll remain transfixed to this place
I'd rather have had something
So true
So good
That I'd wait to be together
Again
Even if it never happens
Better that
Than to dream for things
That I'll never see
Things that will never be

Just sayin'

I can survive
But I'm not sure I want to
You laughed at me
You mocked
Smiled with a taunt
Your words cut me, slashed a vein
Made me bleed, over and again
I don't mean to complain
I'm just saying
No I'm not staying quiet
I'm not even non chalant
You just keep asking
So what is it you want
Forgiveness? I'm not Jesus
Hope? I can't lie that well
You want something I can't give
And then you want even more
After you've put me through Hell
All you've done and still
You want me to keep going on
Through such stormy weather
As if nothing happened
I can't forgive, I barely want to live
Why do you need me
To make you feel better
These are just words you say
So
Why do you need me to say them
I don't care
I'm just sayin'

When the wings don't work

Shredded dreams don't matter
Nor do the shards of glass on floor
From a broken mirror
With a hammer they've shattered
No more reflection
No more introspective doubt
I never had wings
But if I did
I am sure that I'd never fly
Out of fear that they'd not work
But no longer
You get one chance
Ask her to dance
Live more freely
Try to fly above
Embrace circumstance
Rather than worry
And keep asking
Why do I destroy
Every single thing I love?

Simply Be

Doubts fly without restraint
Life performed without a net
There is nowhere to run
Yes, nowhere to flee
Unless
Your spirit remains untamed
If you live without relent
You'll never be done
Too much life to live
Too many people to forgive
Too many times to relive
Time to simply be
In an eternal moment
Never ending

Let Us Be Born wise

People are born with a greater wisdom
Than they're encouraged to begin using
We are divine in spirit, with flesh of clay
We've spoken to our creator, mighty, risen
Better for birth, with knowledge of choosing
Told knowledge comes first, wisdom delayed
We should well know better
Whilst composed of temporary form
There is more to know, that we can know
That society ignores
We are alive
Let us embrace all that entails
This is our life
Let us begin to live epic tales

“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them”  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Black Swan Anomaly

black swan

/ˌblak ˈswän/

noun

noun: black swan; plural noun: black swans

1. 1.

   a mainly black swan with white flight feathers which is common in Australia and Tasmania and has been introduced elsewhere.
2. 2.

   an unpredictable or unforeseen event, typically one with extreme consequences.

   "the bank industry's vulnerability to black swans"

Others might understand
People who work in statistics
Call an unforeseeable event
With deep or catastrophic results
A Black Swan
You were mine
And thereafter I was the damned
First you came into my life
You changed all I knew to be true
Everything Inside
You made me question all I am
Then you disappeared, never to return
My black swan how my sorrow burns
My heart breaks there is no life left
To live
And nothing I could forgive
You changed all I've wanted
You've gone
Leaving me all alone
I'll have no future
You've left me haunted

“Besides, my life is a catastrophe. It's a catastrophe to be without a voice.”   E.B. White

What matters?

I hear how easy love can be
People saying just to know you
Would have been better
I know that nothing matters but love
It redeems all things
Nothing but love is worth the cost
Oh those who've never loved say
My God he's so clever
But my love
It is also true that it kills
Love kills
So I say
What does it matter
What anyone might think
All that matters is my heart
And the ink
I spill

“Should prosperity befall thee, rejoice not, and should abasement come upon thee, grieve not, for both shall pass away and be no more.”  Bahá'u'lláh

Life is a canvas

The winds of sorrow blow
Leaving confusion and torture
Late Autumn rain turns to snow
Smothering the ultimate future
Flesh bound by chains to time
The mind flees the dangers
The storm brings pain inside
This world a canvas for a painter

“A storm came chasing the sky away. And virgin sands
Drank all the water of the evening woods,
God's wind blew icicles into the ponds;
As I wept I saw gold,- and could not drink."  Arthur Rimbaud

Haunt

Your love rhapsodically will haunt
Offering a prophecy of life to come
Without you, no secrets, no confidant
I am wounded effortlessly, it has begun
For I am aware without you
All I'll do will be reliving
The time together
There will be nothing
No love
No hope
No life worth living
Without you
So stay
Forever
Stay

US Politics

Selfish suction of aura
Anxiety riddled public
Powerful and wealthy
Seek to be given more
Fear and the hunger inside
Motivate and control us
To listen to the liars
Tomorrow will die
As liars ever lie
And we have no future
We are the deceived 
With a burning inside
Only memory
That linger like the ashes
Of the burning house
Where our family once lived

A Father's Flight

A father was held against his will
In an artifice of his own design
He might live or exist within 
If only he had not been jailed
With his child kin
He saw his son as flawless, glorious
The father's guilt could never transcend
Causing his son to be imprisoned
Due to the jailer's cause with the father
He had to attempt an escape
Refusing every other offer
He had already created an impenetrable maze
Only a brilliant scholar could fashion the labyrinth
He could find a way, he must find a way
To allow both to reach the sky
Creating wings that could lift
Imbued with the power of flight
The father gave wise counsel
Explaining the dangers
Of too high flight or too low
But his child believed he was free from limits
And crashed down below
The father could only sorrow
His child lost to death
Who'd taken his wings and rising
Upon the winds he'd surge
Never understood
Nor listen well
His son's joyous exaltation of freedom
Turned into a father's own funeral dirge

The Hunt Goes On

The hunt has gone on since the beginning of existence
To kill, and eat, still this isn't out of malice, it is from need
The hunt is eternal, tracking comes from hardwired instinct
One may choose to avoid the hunt, there is no resistance
Instincts are born within the mind and flesh of the being
Flesh must be obeyed, the hunt simply is, instinct persists

Metamorphosis

If we are honest, none of us approach perfection
So why do we forgive it in ourselves
But demand it in others
The only one who was perfect achieved resurrection
We are constantly overwhelmed
By a desire that smothers
We cannot appreciate the beauty of the butterfly
If we despise the ugliness of the caterpillar
But we cast off love as being love awry
For the imperfection that drive us bitter
Somehow we must
Learn to love everything
Learn to like the scars
Learn to appreciate the mistakes
For our own imperfections sing
To those who would listen

“We all carry within us places of exile, our crimes, our ravages. Our task is not to unleash them on the world; it is to transform them in ourselves and others.”― Albert Camus

The Circle

We hear it
Wail of the newborns
Mournful cries of those who have lost
Tears of joy or sorrow accompany
The entry of life or the death of another
But that is not all that there is
There is more
There is the spirit
There is a circle, without origin, without end
Perpetual, eternal, divine, the perfect metaphor
For everything we experience, and will know
With the circle, have we heard the message sent
Life as the chase between victim and predator
Dead bodies feed the spores, worms feed the crows
If there is death, we must endure, it is a part of life
How dare we avoid it, like a child does strife
I might not invite her grasp, no, but I can now be whole
Knowing all who live, die, with the survival of the soul

Alone and with regret

Alone
Insane with regret
And the depth of shame
I revel in my bitterness
I refused to listen to you
You called me from the darkness
But I preferred my brokeneness
And my pain
I needed to blame
And it stood out in the stark light
When every sleepless night
I walked a path through carpet
Imperfect
And filled with immutable regret

I know what I think, but not what you think

There's no passion in your kiss
You prefer surgery than embrace
I don't know what I ever said or did
But I see hope when I see your face
Yeah but maybe I'm stupid
I know I still want your soul to taste
I know I might fail, aim but miss
I still know what I want
And you'll never stray that far
Where your memory will haunt me
My heart has scars but they don't taunt me
I still hope, you give me a reason
To keep wanting to know
If our love is still in season

My Love, You Are Hope

When you loved me back
I remember the great joy
You gave me so much hope
I was prepared to let you inside
Exactly where my heart lived
My life before you was black
No one, nothing mattered to know
All life's pains caused me to choke
You gave me hope to decide
To finally forgive
The world gave so much pain
It was time to let go
You gave me something so great
Even if no one gets out alive
I still stayed

A Knight Interrupted

She was able to change forms
A spirit of the natural world
Her being composed of sparks
The idea enough to take shape
I'd given my oaths and had served my King
I rode beside his wagon train
Of maidens and men of arms
To distant Camelot
A single knight of the Table
Enough to ward off foes
And there it happened
She was glimpsed in the wood
Far from the eyes of normal man
A momentary flash
In the eternal enchanted land
I touched my sword hilt
But then released
I had no need for defense
This was a wood of the fae
An aura of peace, comfort pervaded
I needed to be aware still
For the fae are notoriously capricious
Taking whim as invitation
Where they walked they left a sheen
A beautiful remnant of energy
They can be heard in their home
Laughing at the waking world
And our kings queens and nations
Still I told the wagons to halt
Take up positions of defense
I would explore this interruption
And make my way into the green
Soon my mind was amazed
All I could see was colors, no shapes
And I felt the presence of one
Who bore no alliance to the living
And refused to linger with dead
She was a dream come real
She was a secret without a clue
I felt her presence near me
Brilliant elegance that glowed
And soon fell deep asleep
I woke after the most perfect time
I lived a life I never could have known
And when I walked from the wood
I felt remorse for leaving
What I now understood to be
The land of enchantment
Where dwelled in majestic grace
The Faerie Queene
Her castle, and her throne
For that moment of glory I experienced
I knew forever I'd be changed
The land of enchantment can be seen
By letting the real world fade
From your imperfect gaze

So I Moved Forward

You said I was not the one
So I moved forward
Hurting, lonely but doing fine
Then you called saying
'Please come back'
I want to know why
Why do you do this to me
Love can be an orchard
It just takes time
You are just playing
This will give me a heart attack
You don't want me,
No, you just want someone
And I am not just someone
Or anyone
You want someone to fill the space
But you don't want me
You just don't want to be the one
Alone waiting
For the call that isn't happening
And I wish you'd set me free

Farewell

My Darling love
I've been in flames
When you fell from me
And still,
I believed in God
Holy is his name
But I'll never be redeemed
No matter where I go
I'll never know
My flesh will fade away
My body enters decay
Falling under the blanket of snow
That falls each and every day

Your own path

Beer, porn and cigarettes can't solve your problems
Eating, drugs, other indulgences won't work either
An angry world demands answers now and quickly
Pleasure seeking only brings us to the doors of Sodom
And escapism through gluttony is just a manic fever
Ignorant of truth, you're just comfortable being guilty
Find the path before the path runs out
Find a truth before you are destroyed by doubt

We are all Icarus

Never let others give you their limits to your flight
Only the small voice inside tells you when to fight
Searching for the answers, driving for a result
Truth exists whether you believe in it or not
Endless battles and struggles against the flow
Truth remains the truth inside, you just know
Falling through atmosphere, no way to slow down
Find our own way or die crashing to the ground

Not new

Emperors, Kings and Queens
Peasants and common people
Are all wrapped in fantasy
About who is truly righteous,
Who must always be wrong
What if what we know is fraud
Following such fallacies
Ultimately we will be forsaken
Thinking we know everything
Knowing what we firmly believe
Thereafter guided we delve our truths
By what we see or believe to be popular
Or by what we think are vulgar misdeeds
These are all a masquerade
We have no idea what is real
Nor what is proof
For that is deeply formed
Somewhere in your mind
And heart, and spirit
Where you know what is wrong
And what is good

Mist among the Trees

The morning scent of fresh breath and mist
A glorious crown of soft elegance to wear
Nature is beautiful, exquisite, vast and violent
We must learn to live within it
Rather than slay and burn
We must learn to exist with it
But after time past
And lost millennia
How will we ever learn?

We are known as numbers, not names

They call us by numbers, not by names
They tell us we are sheep, not men
Give us choices that are not choices
They tell us our lives are filled with shame
Nowhere to run, cornered in the lion's den
Nothing available, not even our voices
So what is my life to these who dare
Do they want my joy or suffering
Do they worry or should they care
No, the helicopters are there, hovering
They gather us, as if in a zoo
With no possible way out
We've nothing we might do
The machine never stops
It leaves no doubt
They decide what is or isn't true
We need protein, they feed us slop
It is time for the sheep to be their own revolution

Love Flows

My love flows without any limits
Because I know
It can never be finished
Without you saying you agree
My love you must know
These words are true 
All I do is for you
I can never go too far
From where you are
I'll never stray far from your being
For you dwell in my heart
As does God above
You've healed my scars
I love you so much
This love is such
That legends are written
Arisen and forgiven
You are my love
And whatever you desire
I desire too
What you wish to be true
I long for that too