30 years ago I finally realized that my life
Was somehow and newly worth living
I'd had to give up my sorrows, begin forgiving
For me, if not others, a bitter seed was killing me
Holding tightly to hurt, I couldn't stop seething
I'd burn in anger and toss, turn, with no sleep
All I had was my nightmare and no dreams
I had come to realize that the one who hurt me
Hadn't been trying to be mean, envious or cruel
He grew up broken himself, he had his own hurt
He didn't have one to love him, who played by rules
So even knowing my pain, he had it worse
I knew he wasn't evil, but that wasn't helpful
He so loved his first born with a passion
To him I was an afterthought, a distraction
I learned that I had to give it up, move on
Forgiving someone doesn't erase the past
In the ways I was hurt and the memories
The damage and ghost remains
If I think about it, I still have that pain
Refusing to forever grieve, released me
I had to escape from all of that hurt
A bitterness inside, stole from my life
Stole everything that gave it worth
I am better now, somewhat healed
And bless the Lord, I was ready
Yes I'm healing, but need be steady
Focus my aim, be right, aim it true
Let the rain come down, let it pour
Let the rain wash me clean
Let it fall all around me
And extinguish the fire burning
From the past, and the damage
And let my eyes finally see
The life left before me
Let it wash the hurt from my flesh
And let forgiveness give me breath
Amen
