Drowning in Emptiness

The void is a vacuum, endless darkness
To escape pull costs wisdom I don't have
My life's full of desires, lust and hunger
The world requires hope to endure, I can't
One must endure more to suffer the cost
All I know lost, nothing remains of me

Fleeing the Abandoned Module

Beneath my suit, armor
The future is waiting
But won't fly without me
The result must be found
This is like a vague dream
I've been losing my mind
Every step forward will burn
I walk in deepest mire
Life has limited time
My body screams in pain
Knowing, life's a trip wire
Seeking life, seeking proof
Falling through atmosphere
To seek discovery
The planet calls my name
I'll will survive in truth
My body, a vessel
Seeking life beyond us
Beyond me, beyond you
In first contact, we'll meet
I am ready, willing

Answers to many riddles

Why are the many riddles of existence answered with all or nothing reply
If life is so great as many say, why does it end so capriciously, as it does
As I die my deepest loves will all be stolen from me as well as my fears
I pray to reach the future, with my spirit intact and hope and joy alive 

"when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the 'impossible,' come true."
                                                                                                     F. Scott Fitzgerald

In my Final Days I can See

I walked in midnight ink darkness
And sleep in the gold ray of the days
My life is one built upon rare dreams
My old brain fails, I've lost sharpness
Along with that, my heart is in decay
And this pain steals away my sleep
I swear I never meant to be so cold
I've been losing, nothing is found
And nothing will remain new
Until I reach sacred ground
And make my final claim

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, 
far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”  Charles Dickens

Love's Proof

I'd tried to be her one, since I'd known her since school
With just one remark, she had made sure I was the fool
I'd never known why was I ignorant, why was she cruel
My point of being, to be only with her, she didn't agree
Her acceptance of me was conditional, her words reveal
I'd never said anything similar to others, but her to me?
She held no reservations, breaking faith, drawing blood
Beauty amazing, with a mind sharp, her attacks a flood
All alone in a relationship and yet she was my beloved
But love doesn't become real  because it is requited
I am alone in a room of countless many

To Walk Upon a Planet Alone

There is nothing in my heart since you left me
A world holding no mystery, even as in dream
My hopes have emptied, with no air to breathe
My body is left to rot, my soul bleeds its being
Lost without you, for this world offers nothing
I was left behind to die, every desire now flees
Abandoned on a world now empty without you

Romantic Equation

All need love, any human with a beating heart needs love
But is that enough? Do we need love as much as oxygen?
Does our flesh hunger for love like we do for food or air?
I think that we must find love or we'll become embittered
But I am just a poet, I might be using words to entertain

Unblinded

Bathing in pure white light covered in shine
With midnight colored paint on black canvas
A being of flesh, writhing in pain from inside
Ripped from life nothing left but thought
Dream ending long before awakening
Sweating from invasive dream cycles
Here one was trapped by the night terrors
I stared at the sun, it could never blind me
Yet I saw could surely cause blindness
Forcing me now by choice to never see
For I saw a God broken, dying, crucified
If an eternal being dies, how can I live?
I am unworthy of my spark of life
Will I endure, will I be forgiven

Contact

First contact, no mutual understanding, no language but violence
In next contact fear breeds defensive preparations, is there hope
In this interim, the peacemakers try to find a means to reach out
Final contact, mutual needs must be sought, fears left in silence
The merge of people and different species, all fears are disrobed
In common grounds and mutual needs we bury all of the doubts

The Artifact of a Forgotten War

Castle walls, once housing crusade knights rests in ruin
The wars that led to building sturdy walls of stone, sleep
The towers still overlook the plains, watching for others
In its memories are past wars, as long forgotten dreams
Buried beneath the walls are remains, the dead mingled
Seeking answers, seeking moral homogeneity of people
Now as the remains are empty winds, memories reach
Wars for the righteous are still fought, but do not teach

By seeking perfection one must be imperfect

Seeking to change so that I might reach perfection
Is in itself imperfect and wrought with moral folly
If I choose to seat myself at the throne of knowing
I've lost all understanding of daily walks of being
For it is in my doing, living, making mistakes 
That I learn to make better choices the next time
It is by seeing truth (nothing perfect in my life)
But to seek and find, higher realms can be found

We died that our mother might live

Her tears had fallen more in number
Than the sands across the great desert
For we'd been forced to defend her
Nomadic raiders killed our defenders
Our queen had given all birth and life
And alone was seated in great power
If she had fallen ill, we all should die
As our memories and customs lost
She'd held us close, even as we fell
It was not our walls had collapsed 
It was that our hearts truly had
In the end, she had survived
All our lives endured, went on
Our memories serve as comfort
As our time reaches the horizon

Death is not final

Being a dead man but awakened, animated
Alive once, but being dead, now as Lazarus born
Trapped in a broken body, inhabited by a new spirit
Called from the tomb, I am as a Samson newly shorn
Will my sacrifice be enough, will my death be enough
Will I lead others to know a truth or learn an epiphany
My high purpose in a living life was to find purpose
When finding my purpose, I lived a symphony
Eventually running out of days given to me
I rose from the tomb called to be again
With renewed vigor I acted, in hope
Seeking a future lived for others 
With no fears remaining

Silence Broken by the Bells of a new century

It was snowing, so dark and then that sound
I heard bells ringing, morning of the first day
One minute past midnight, my love was breaking 
Turn of this century, marked by burning pyres
Isolation, damnation as the fires start
I cried my tears, frozen throughout my being
Need love from a patient lover of my heart
You're the dream and ever lover of my soul

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...
I could walk through my garden forever.”
                                  Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Left to Ponder the Emptied Dreams

I can't do the math, perfection doesn't last
My eyes are blind, and yet in a certain light
What does it matter, when all has gone decay
And why fear, if nothing stands in light of day
What matters at all, a world of emptied dreams
If I can't breathe, if I can't see, I wonder
What is left to experience, yet ponder
To then live being ever frozen inside
Or thaw releasing my cold spirit to fly 

A Final Performance in Life's Colosseum

Reality set me free, and I saw every minute flaw
Walking upon the razor's edge, careful not to fall
One side of me, condemnation, other side's death
Sorrow and pain released from unclenched claws
I might die in an indifference balance of my flesh
Hovering above the curve of earth, this is my test
A world too beautiful to abandon, I hear applause
In a moment of pure joy, the curtain falls down
When I look out my whole audience is gone

Offerings

As my body burns in the explosion, I will know
My sacrifice is worth it, even as my blood flows
The pain the price paid, the end is comforting still
I waited to be the one, even of sweet oblivion
The life left was too little, the payment is enough
Nothing left but of the transaction complete

You need to ask

If there are questions without answers
Reality, what if there's only nightmare
Answers without questions are as bad
To thrive upon hope but be without it
Burns inside the heart, just as cancer
It feels like you're chosen for despair
Invulnerable, no, my heart is ironclad
Many lies that will make you doubt it
But even then, you must still ask

Great Pharaoh

 Do you sleep my King, dreaming in that forever realm?
Can you leap through tall fields of wheat like gazelles?
Have you destroyed enemy invaders or saved the land
Do you call for us, your people, aware of the kingdom
We long for your leadership, for it alone had been good
Did your heart reflect Ma'at when weighed by Anubis?
From the heavens does Osirus decide the annual flood?
If the river Nile follows all who dwell in the afterlife?
Will you return, then guide us, til we reach that place?
The world was broken, when you were lost in death
The River Nile swift, yet the river of life more swift
Hope for life after this one is collectively upon you

Rising from the Highest Point

Standing upon a planet's highest plateau, they rose up
Built by a civilization aware of a moment, in perfection
The throne room stood, holding power of the ages alone
Stones accurately cut and placed tighter than any puzzle
Tombs of the kings, perfect dimension, offer connection
Those entombed can mark the way for us to find home
Have the Gods lived among us, have shared the way?
The peaks lead us, and now follow their beacons
The lights can be seen for centuries of miles

This ink will spill

Cancer took a toll upon my body, staph failed to kill me, but it tried
I bled ink all my life, a heart filled with black ink from soot and ash
My flesh burned inside from many moments of unstopped bleeding
It is not about being born different or mutants, it is not my strength
It is my weakness, I'm given a burning need, one that speaks at last
Being able to feel emotions isn't a strength, it doesn't help me cope
My flesh made of sorrow, my heart was woven in grieving stitches
I stare out upon all the injustice in life, as the poor never find hope

What I saw in your eyes

I haven't escaped. No, I've been forced to linger. Not knowing how you'd
thought of me, I couldn't just leave. Frankly, if in a different moment and
the pain remained, I might have let it destroy me. But I saw your eyes, and 
saw the future, I saw the children that we'd not yet had. It grieved me.
My life had been focused on me. You made me see more. I saw you...

The hopes I had, the dreams we'd find in sleep, some propel others to 
do great things or achieve. Seeing the children alive in your eyes, I am 
was called by nature, some say a clock, but God isn't limited by time

That destiny with you that I needed to fulfill. Those dreams of our future 
had not yet been filled. I saw who we'd create, meet, due to that a need to 
be together, I'd go there with you. I needed to find my need. My moment 
of purpose. Having a child would change me. From selfish to mature I 
needed this dream, I could see it, from my own selfish, personal need

Having so Many Lost Lives, I've become Exhausted

I've lived many different lives, simultaneously, without thoughts
For my flesh has a limit but my spirit endures, wherever planted
I've zero path I might follow that will allow my soul to flourish
Compartmentalized, I present my proper face, one you demand
Lost in the world I exist, so I leave my being wherever I'll walk
The memories of my many lives are not treasured, and soon, lost
Why bother to live? unknown, but I do know all life is wrought

A Slaughtered Engaged

We have used the golden threads woven by trust
To sew up the wounds of the warriors who fight
Given all of their lives as our honor turns to rust
A glow from radiation of souls leaving the night
We can watch as a slaughter reaches bloody end
A confluence of lives of all sides joined forever
The jumbled lives in death the true message sent
We have offered up the lives of youth in battle
The end beckoned, their bodies never mend

Elysium, Fair Elysium

No one has survived living
Except maybe one or two
So what is waiting at the end?
What is the point of living
When the joy of it has gone
What if there's nothing to show
For all you've been through
And the journey is so long
I need to know if Elysium exists
Awaiting me and all my hopes
Are Heaven's doors open
Or is there nothing
But judgment or the final abyss
Perhaps there's nothing at all
Or I am wrong, I will find out
For I seek to languish in his fields
I long to live in a silent world 
And cherish the sweet sounds
Of soft voices and peaceful sleep

The Questions to Ask

Oh rich man, who is it that you now serve
Is it of the high ideal and to be a social elite
Or that you know how leaders serve people
And you will give graciously to help them
Oh rich man, does it even sorrow the heart
To see all the hungry and needy, and dead
Are you able to see that killing for wealth
Will not result in honor, nor a hope to save
Does a world you imagine include others
In roles other than servant, soldier or slave
Can you get the world to see a false globe
It reflects the desire, hunger, and smothers
Leaving behind others who might disagree

The Fire

Some possess fire inside them, a burning heart within
The creative process is motivation, and life is the fuel
Artists draw upon it, remembering it, seeing it clearly
Or as breath from nature, as a passion upon the wind
To burn without an outlet is painful, is perhaps cruel
When passion lights the path, it will leave one weary
To surrender leaves you uncertain, naked to the pain
The artist must obey the calling, obey that call to be
We live moments in true time but forever in dream

In a World of War

To choose a tyranny because it serves you
You'll be led to fail, to live without justice 
Choosing a path that will lead to suffering
You've chosen a violence to be your muse
The future, prepared, you're not the master
The world suffers your cruelty, your truth
You've tried to make it follow your leash
Revealing the most shallow beliefs

As The Night Revives the Queen

In the cold depths of a great hollow of the tomb
Lays a queen, unchallenged in power or in life
Her eyes stare open, as her corpse waits anew
For words to be spoken, for curses be broken
Life returns, youthful strength pulses through
Nothing less than a full obedience are tokens
Form turns flush with blood, in eyes now true
Sitting upright, muscles so lithe and so able
Staring her servants away, she has awoken
Needing nothing but her shroud, and a pulse
In the living moment, she thinks of death
She smiles knowing, taking her last breath
For it is time to take flight, leaving behind
In meaningless dream and deleterious things
Who would interrupt her sleep, life anew
Never wake her, before she lays dreaming
For now she reaches her sleeper chamber
Where it's dark, long prior made ready 
Here she returns, and her dreams burn
The spirits and emptied souls will pray
Preparing to live again in night's shroud
As her dead flesh turns gray, she lays
Sleeps her spells cast, on sacred ground
Planning her trip back, without sound

Into the Madness, I walk

A vast panorama of hollowed dreams and nightmares
Lending a soul burning cries, my flesh was screaming 
In echoes of lost civilizations, voices of so many dead
The cancer of hubris and hunger of emptiness, burning
Terror in memories distilled, sorrow beyond compare
Silence rather than hope expectations, fear dreaming
In one death over another is my paranoia's beachhead
Insensate madness, pain entrenched, Lazarus reborn
Life is isolation where the only engagement is scorn
My mind is overwhelmed by overwhelming torment

Torment Revealed by Screaming Flesh

My loyalty was made known, and yet they still didn't find comfort
They were used to having whatever they wanted, without coercion
We are the beings who may exist without master and without slaves
We are alive, and must breathe, sleep and eat, but that is automatic
From the outside are the things hovering near my being, addicting
Trauma that I self inflict and tragedies I survive are all abstraction
Aware of torment found within my dying flesh and my starvation

Hunted

Hunted, chased through the wilds
I'm still alive, if hidden in shadows
This world has begun to be a blur
They are chasing me, I am defiled
Flesh decays, my body in necrosis
Trapped by this existence's poseur

Broken Glass

Some may see a normal visage, none see beyond a form
Inside my being is darkness, a countenance never changes
Taught to serve others, I yet know of an approaching storm
No matter my future or my past, I shall experience danger
I stand, world take notice, despite threats I'll not conform
This life is finite, my opportunities to move forward, few
I must never relent as my life is my sole chance to score
Here alone, I stand against fear and pain and my wounds
I refuse to allow the scorn to hijack my forward path
What some might see if able is fully broken glass

“All of us, even the sophisticated, yearn for permanence, and to the 
unsophisticated permanence is the chief excuse for a work of art.” 
 
                                                                                     E.M. Forster

The wave of destruction approaching

As I am crawling through debris of the failure that is my life
My black blood pours out, wine of no fine vintage, I will die
I've never felt scorn in such great detail before, but in time...
Staring out onto decay, fallen walls of a civilization, silence
Nothing now left but quiet as the living are dead in strife
Some see a choice of resignation in life's end as surrender
I see it as being aware and in preparing, for the next shock
For there's far more to fear, enduring a fire beyond embers
As last calls of church bells call, requiem for our species
Wherever oblivion beckons, the gray lands are a disease
My blood ebbs, flesh broken, now is the time for sleep

To serve by Free Will, Not ruled by Force

We ride through a thick wood, finding enemies our task
Our dog companions racing ahead to lead us on our path
Fires start to burn the forests from our ongoing warcraft

We were trained to fight like machines, ignoring emotion
To somehow run across the streams, lakes and the oceans
Armor glistens in the sun, we draw our blades, as chosen

Given commands, we've a duty, there was no choosing
Never given options or allowed to decide, if now refusing
Allowed our voice, we pay the cost of freedom, proving

We follow the design we've been given, yes, we are ready

 

Enough Love

As you ask for more, it is said to be selfish
But what if you find love and it is perfect?
Love is what gives us the ability to go on
Are you not made more able to love, by it
To seek and find love, is fed by more love
Absence of love leads one to be the focus
One drink from the chalice does not mean
You'll never take another, it is not enough
Until you at last recover and love

The Choice to Rise Above Extinction

As a human species faced disasters, survived 
Still scattered about the world, cultures remained
Despite the tendency to make war, ideas appeared
As humans grew in goals and wisdom, understood
That a rise of the many allowed wishes of the few
Never planning a damn thing, but we chose to live
Understanding, growing in dreams and to forgive
Rather than simply exist, we chose to flourish
Will we continue to rise or lose our gratitude
If hubris is poisoning our perceptions
When we are blessed in this world
And continue with minds new

Stacked like wood, the Dead were Gathered

Upon the morning, a fog lifted and the dead were seen
Waves of bodies lost upon a field, a mourning rose aloud
We fought Mongols to take back all our lives, sovereignty
With us there upon fields, our ancestors present in clouds
Never again would we be crushed in body, more in mind
We'd fight every attempt to bring us to heel, we'd decided
We would never again be made to bow, to be just slaves
We would never be made animals whatever we faced
We understood cost as we cried out and we knew
Our ancestors lingered in the fog of time
Waiting for their chance to revisit life
And make the presence alive

On my Knees

For the first time breathing in, wounds healed, I could begin
Living awake, like I did when young, here I am, I came again
Stared upon the scene, knowing it is unique, what should I do
Shall I lose my shroud, it is blowing in the wind, seeing truth
What's left to try, life hasn't been easy, never able to choose 
In pain I nearly lost the faith needed to go on, but I'm alive
There were chains around my wrists, in the abyss as I twist
Fear and rage screaming to be heard, let my life be earned
I've nothing more, I've nothing left, Death left a bitter kiss
I fall upon my knees, staring into the sun, break my curse
Begging to be free, please let me be redeemed

TO BUILD THE FIRE INSIDE

Using fire, melted coal, liquid fuel, embers of the highest heat
A secret danger known only as Greek Fire was a dire weapon
Melting enemy ships, walls of other castles against fire falling
Hope couldn't be maintained against the unquenchable flames
The source of the flames of Greek Fire never were discovered
Because the wielders of the fire were slaughtered in the end
All the secrets passed into darkness, of death, layers of time
Mechanisms of time show that long ago, others used fire too
How long has it been gone? How long had it been known
What people, empires fell to zero, as they faced the fires