By My Own Hand?

Always is in the air a sweet scent of existence
Fragrances of life abundant, fecund and verdant
Responses elicited, without pretense or regret
To hold and love another, to aim love together
To achieve a place in forever, behind the veil
We must aspire to reach the higher place
And upon earth to experience all things
Everything we can experience, devour it all
And be ourselves consumed by our devotion 
As reality is washed away by the truth
It comes from within, it isn't empty, it isn't doomed
If thereafter I am damned, it will be by my own hand
For the ultimate truth is this
Our magnificent world is proof of the notion
That every second I will have lived
Is more than I deserve
I am more than feelings, whatever my emotions
More than opinions, for they are not truth
The one King is truth, and is the one I serve
He offers redemption from fate and restoration
And the concept of legacies and lingering hope
Offer more than perhaps I am offered
So I just wait, sitting here
Drinking life in waiting for the end
But it will never be, by my own hand