Pretend, just once, please?

I know you don't love me but I know too
You like my company, because I love you
Couldn't you once just pretend you do
Please? I am suffering
I can't call it waiting
Because I have zero belief
You'll ever see the truth
I long to be a lover
I'm standing here in love
And you are there, story over
I am hideous and you are beautiful
I'd die for your simple nod
Saying I was welcome but I'm not
So let us not debate
My time is finished
Your spirit is divine
And I am something even less than human
Ringing the bells, protecting the cathedral
I do all I can but it will never be enough
To earn your love