Kenneth Anger Digs Graves

Kenneth Anger was a prick
But he focused on something
That led to a ravenous hunger
Americans are truly sick
For news that imparts blushing
A desire for the vulgar
Gaining gruesome intimacies
Of lives they've never scene
Nor ever lived
Yes, all humans can be sick
But we've a hunger to know
All things we've been told
Are forbidden
Lust will own you
Trust will be betrayed
It doesn't matter what you say
It'll be repeated repeatedly
If you are someone who is famed
You'll soon be reminded
That someone in Hollywood
Works to have you framed
And shamed

Smokestacks and Steel Mills

There might be clouds of black smoke in the air
But lives were built upon labors from the source
Sounds of manufacturing, or engines of commerce
Allowed steel men and families to receive a share
The sweat of labors, the financial gain of a workforce
Some might see pollution, waste into air, or waters
But others would see before them a chance to just live
They work for a piece of the dream, to raise family
But the world we want is different than what we see
What we do is different than what makes us free

To Fall From Heaven's Heights

In a blink
I am ready
Oh I want to be free
I long to touch heaven
And I rise into the sky
As an empty sky waits
Life is threatening
I spent life wanting to die
Surely waiting to die
And this very moment
When I long to fly
Escape the limits
Imposed upon me
I hear all the screaming
Saying that I'll fail
The noise so deafening
As the thunder cracks
And the wind blows
I experience a reckoning
My mortal flesh is falling
And the world closes her eyes
With an impact upcoming
But death is a lie
And the flesh a disguise
I've worn a mask too long
And the impact into the ground
Has not killed me, no
But freed me from this task
To live until I am ready
To die so easy
To live, an impossible act
No actor could have performed
I am free

broken, damned

Hope fled
Shred beliefs
Dead instincts
The toll of it all
Rings like a bell
Calls the dead
There's no relief
Useless persistence
Mine is the fall
Into the pit of Hell

"Hell is more bearable than nothingness."
Philip James Bailey

Majestic

Emerging from the mists

I see you in my dreams

You're walking through a forest 

And the creatures there all bow

Your beauty is regal, majestic

Your spirit makes me believe

It feeds me, keeps me nourished

In this place, I am content now

The faeries and beings angelic

All sing announcing your arrival

In expectation of mercy and grace

You are moving, I make no denial

In you, love and hope embrace

Forever and thereafter

In your arms ecstasy has a taste

And it is glorious

As are you

The kiss of life

The truth is all I need

A perfect desire inside
A poet couldn't capture your beauty
Not with lute or harp, or verse
Your love is magic
Your form is woven in lace
Exquisite and fine
And I am no longer alone
In this flesh so fragile

“Flowers scattering -
The water we thirst for
Far off, in the mist.” 
Kobayashi Issa

Looking Upon the Golden Sea

Remnants remain of empires arcane
Power and control, roads and gold
Columns and walls, history, memories
Of an empire once thought paramount
A way of life thought transcendent
Sits there in grand idyllic pose
The excellence persistent
What we remember fades
But the walls remain
Empires rise
Empires fall
A collection of nations
The walls remain to remind us
Of who we once were
Of a time we thought was the height
Of all future generations

As they revel, we feel Joy

They glisten there as they seem to dance in rain
Awakening in us the wild, refusing to be tamed
They don't age, sweet beings of gentle creation
For them the world's a stage, for their attention
They might fly, or flit about in the gentle breeze
And how they shine, reflecting light, joy released
These magnificent faeries offer a glorious outlook
Such that scholars believe won't be found in books
The joy they express seems alien, to modern eyes
We choose to age, to be in pain, in our modern lies
I refuse disbelief, instead, I say we should ponder
Life is short enough, than for us to refuse wonder

For your further consideration:

A still life

I spent my life wondering when I'd be lucky enough to die.  I'd learned enough to know, the world wasn't meant for me. More than once I tried suicide.  I failed, just like the loser I was. My pain couldn't pay the cost to let me be redeemed.  Instead, I thought perhaps I should forever just sleep. In sleep I might finally live a dream.  But my dreams had all become a nightmare. Sleep was no respite, but my curse's lair. Then I met the one with red hair and realized, she was my home. Maybe I was alone for so long that I couldn't see the good things for dark trappings of my soul. My life changed in a very short time, burning with a fire, not from lust, but hope.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”   Emily Dickinson

The Golden Citadel

On the coast are built the imperial docks
Where ships that cross seas and oceans
Roads wind through, trader shops and citadels
The walls reach higher than the mountains
And a people are vibrant, their life exciting
They've abandoned war, living for luxury
Surrendering their ego, for the sake of a future
Becoming all things to all people
The leaders have sent forth a call
Here there is one race
For all races become one
We are a nation that nurtures
Keeping our nation's path forward
Sturdy, paved, safe for use and free for all

He Redeems, I Fall Down

By his suffering we were redeemed
By my suffering I've not done a thing
With nine inch long nails his body pierced
Surgical steel used by the surgeon on me
I can't go on and I've waited too long
His body was broken for the sins of others
My body has been broken for sins I've done
His blood was shed for the salvation of all
My blood has been shed and all hope is gone
I am not the Christ, Messiah, nor a savior
The crushing of my soul continues, it goes on
And I now fear the emptiness of oblivion
For to despair is a grotesque sin
And I can no longer speak
For the sorrow within

Boneyard Memories

No cadaver has a memory
The spirit has now fled
We ignore his life's legacies
Since his flesh is dead
What can we learn from his life
Did he enjoy too little, live too long
Did he squeeze life's lemon dry
Did he linger until all hope was gone
Did he fear his future when he died
Did his flesh lead him astray
Did he die upon the right day
Was he lost to lust
Did he trust in God to pay the cost

“I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”  Mary Shelley

Petra, Mystery of the Past

Only recently discovered
For a millennia hidden
And the deep carved stone
Standing unbroken
Forsaken by time
And by forgetful people
Traders found new routes
But now it still stands
Waiting to be understood
A mystery of glory
A genius work
For the generations
Who inherit its greatness
Awakened to forever

The Rising Moon

Staring at the rising moon
After travel in endless heat
The achingly hot desert plain
Reaches for winds from the sea
And the cooling reminds us
The moon brings darkness
The night allows sleep
Every life deserves to dream

I'll Love you Forever

I am aware of our differences
I'm less talented in certain ways
You are far more kind to others
A genius attested to by witnesses
You make me happy, I am amazed
Your life attests to your true colors
You live your beliefs, you love truth
I'll love you forever, like I already do

There it stands

Glories gathered, as the people came here
A people who saw the democratic future
A form of governance created by seers
With the prophetic dreams fulfilled
But the dream fades and disappears
Greece has earned her honors
Forever as long as humans live
Let us not lose sight
Of a goal that should be clear

Drinks and a Cigar

Having drinks, and a cigar to smoke
As I contemplate the world around me
Love isn't a guarantee, nor is happiness
But failure makes me want to choke
I try to understand and be forgiving
My hunger for existence is ravenous
My dreams never measured up
My ideas never came into being
I'd always pursued finding love
But isolation
Allows the reality to be seen
I am alone now
I'll be alone forever
I might give in
But I  won't be a beggar
Life is not promised
Happiness has no guarantee
Let me realize my path
Let the chains fall
And let my heart be free

“I smell your cigar. Delicious! Give me one directly.”  Wilkie Collins

As the Smoke Billows, Ash is Born

We can view smoke as a waste
Lost fuel unburned, floating away
Or we can begin a different way
Deciding to celebrate the rain
Living every moment of every single day
Since everything dies and we constantly decay
Live to the maximum, and face death with rage

Worked at asking How

I've been feeling anger at you now
And I spent a year waiting to speak
I've worked at asking you how
Could you ever have possessed me
How did you build such a mystique
Showing the world one side of you
But you've many personalities
You refuse the will to know
How can we be unique
How can we be perceived
With such majesty
When in fact, you are a thief
You steal joy, you steal hope
I've waited to tell you
But I know it won't matter
You don't listen and yet want more
But all I hear is a whisper
Fading in the din

This Madness That We Create

In the spiraling madness, towers rising
Growing up, rising up from the steam
Who are we, a number without a name
And every morning met with a crisis
The cloud of smoke chokes our dreams
An orphan will know that the devil came
Our footprints show crushed  lives
As our machines drown out sleep
All who have desire made lame
All this luxury is a prison
But still he smiles
As the devil accepts all praise
We the children of a broken land
Watch us as we fall before him
Listen as we praise his name
We are but orphans in this place
No one waits, we have no home
We are abandoned to our fate
In crowds yet still alone

The Cold Grave

When the fragile flesh will fade
When hope is replaced by decay
My body will burn in the cold grave
And still I believe, and by grace
Let my soul be free, my soul saved
I heard the message that was sent
I have lived ready to die
I have smiled and I have cried
My time has passed
It could never last
So let me fade
Like all do in the end

In the Dreamlands she is a Princess

As she lays in sleep she is crowned princess of the realm
Her dreams are informed by the depth of her pristine soul
Surrounded by warriors of the kingdom, for she is a treasure
Cloaked in power, moved by grace, protected by armor, sword
Her form is ethereal, so richly cloaked in gossamer lace veil

Crooked Cross

A generation lost and burned in fire
A knight bearing a Cross of Iron
His brothers served a crooked cross
Each in uniforms of black and gloss
The nation paid a price of sacrifice
Each gave all, the entire of their life
Fighting for a wrong and lost cause
For a leader awash in moral flaws
But what could they do
They obeyed
They fought
Raised to die
They were consumed

In the event

When you can't control the power
Of events surrounding, confounding
An inner strength will reveal itself
You'll discover ability in that hour
To defeat all foes, as fists pounding
An inner ability is revealed, to excel
Never fear, never worry, never fail

Soldier Boy Come Home

Her life lived, she was there from his beginnings

It is an origin story of sorts, without the drama

He had grown healthy in and out of her hands

He left for college, and her world kept spinning

She was prepared in ways, she avoided trauma

Whatever life had offered, she took its hand

Sent to fight in democracy's endless wars

Leaving no room for mistakes, leaving scars

His perfect life, and her perfect little boy

Stolen away by violence, two lives destroyed

“An equation: 40,000 dead young men = 3,000 tons of bone and flesh, 124,000 pounds of brain matter, 50,000 gallons of blood, 1,840,000 years of life that will never be lived, 100,000 children that will never be born (the last we can afford: there are too many starving children in the world already).”  Dalton Trumbo

In the Mist, Lingers

In the mists that weave a cotton soft fog
A small deer looks up at a soft sound
And sprints away, in startled fear
For this has been a bitter year
And her young had been taken away
By the large men with sticks that slay
A soft sound might seem a small thing
But users of the stick make sounds that ring
Linger in the memory of those who remain
Left behind and heart broken

Fail Right

Until one of us finds a way to escape
We are together trapped upon this earth
For whatever reasons we fail to leave
I'd rather know I've failed
Than have the taste of ecstasy once
Or never
I'd rather know I am hated
Than have the taste of love that will never be
Again
It isn't for anything like honesty
But I prefer to know the truth
Even if I don't practice it
Or understand what it means
I am sinking
Know that it's worse
Than to be loved by someone
My life's been cursed
My flesh burns
For the stain of knowing
And not having

“His reading suggested a man swimming in the sea among the wreckage of his ship, and trying to save his life by greedily clutching first at one spar and then at another.”   Anton Chekhov

When the future looks dark

If you were to know the future
Would you still follow through
Losing, dying, falling, still trying?
Or would you be willing to face it
Embrace the pain, accept the stain
What if the future does not shine
If one sees a path following a line
Straight on to disaster or tragedy
Does it matter to know if you let it be
And accept all that you are given
For you know, in the end
You'll be either forsaken
Or be forgiven?

Bloom

No need for a psychologist in the room
You have made it clear
I need to become better
I need to be healed
Isn't an easy thing
Bitter memories linger
And the pain echoes
Life sometimes feels a tomb
Making forgiveness a chore
Your love helps and I try
I know forgiveness is the doorway
To a better place and better days
Seeds of love are planted
But waiting for them to bloom
I guess I should have known
Life doesn't come with a book
To know how to do it all
But I embrace the womb
It held me in an embrace
It could have left me behind
So I lived, whatever it cost

Passions Regret

I never saw the intent in your eyes
Or the passion in your voice as you spoke
I was too busy crying, too busy lying
And the words got stuck in my throat
I never wanted to lose you
But now
I know, it isn't up to me
I was born again in your love
But I sadly realize
I've worn a mask in this relationship
Refusing to give you everything
In my being, to you
I struggle with these words
Because they reveal my shame
The sins and mistakes teaming
I am sorry for my life
You gave all
And I did nothing
But watch you go

Atomic Clocks

Modernity is a mirage
In the distance
As a future hesitates
Then never arrives
We watch torrents of seconds
Of minutes and hours
Flowing like a river
As millennia have passed
The ruination never stops
For we have no power
Over a constant degradation
They said it never lasts
Constant as atomic clocks
Fear leads to a castration
You must never give in
You want to give to others
But haven't enough for yourself
And they'll take everything
All you are prepared to share
And more
Know that the thieves of your time
Of your body, of your possesions
They never worry
That you've been left enough
To survive
They simply don't care
Time is fleeting
And they are empty inside

“The timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.”  Khalil Gibran

Before The False Emperor

As we are called there before the emperor
In his plush robes, crown and royal diadem
We have only to then realize, the emptiness
For his great pretense is man become god
Around him are his sycophantic whisperers
His throne offended, we've been condemned
His wealth immense, and yet he is penniless
For our walk into eternity will not be stopped
Our persistence and suffering will be redeemed
And his path stunted remains in perceived glory
Of false deity, and pretense to power
And in the end he will no longer exist
For there will come a singular hour
When we will at last be made free

Pyre Fire and Dance

Lift my body upon the pyre
Build the kindling and torchwood high
And pour the fuel across the bottom
Let it be a massive fire
Burning a pillar of black smoke to the sky
And let not one of you act solemn
The occasion is one of joy
For a life lost to such misery
Is heaven gained
I'd be miserable
If I remained
Such a mystery
Why I bothered to stay so long
And when I am gone
Take my books
Let them be free
And take my words
And ignore them
Let me be invisible
Forever after
Let us dance
It is time
Call it the dance of the damned
For no one escapes
Alive

"Perhaps the early grave
Which men weep over may be meant to save."  Lord Byron

Imagination is Life

Some prefer a soft hand
And soothing words
Others respond to volume
And anger
To inspire a reply
My response to beckoning
Or of sharp demand
I see it as absurdity
For I am a weed
Refusing the doom
Of the pavement
And perhaps even stranger
I am unable to decide
Why being asked my thoughts
Lead me to desire escape
Is it a result of fear
I don't think so, but I don't know
No answers exist already wrought
And this world takes shape
With oceans made of tears
And the land forms of hope
And my imagination
Calls life into being
Without remorse
I will not sorrow
Daring not think out loud
I refuse all doubt
So get up now
Come with me
Celebrate life and let us shout

“Everything you can imagine is real.”  Pablo Picasso

As I Howl

My memory is composed of a web of confusion
It'd been woven with threads of sorrow and joy
Ethereal and gossamer, yet concrete and driven
A life of mystery with no answers or conclusions
Thrown to the wolves, they took in a young boy
I hunted, and howled, still longing to be forgiven
For wolves are noble, but know that they are wild
With a heart untamed, I'd committed bestial acts
I was flung from the hearth as a young child
And paid for every dream with nightmares
Into the pit I'd been cast
And yet I rose up
I chose to survive
I longed to be loved
So my quest was known
I had to assemble my own tribe
And love led me to do so
My life was won
Over the past and fears
I had overcome
So now I howl
In victory
I howl
For every memory
I howl
For I am alive
Embraced by love
And protection of my kind

Criticisms foolish, artless

This empty society is vapid, fecund
Childish, fearful, and insecure
Her criticisms are foolish and artless
I may know nothing, and still
While I crawl into my casket
There embrace the darkness
As it rises, swirling
The quiet there numbs thought
Rescues me from my life
For it is so thankless
As night awakens my senses
I become aware of everything
From the whispers of the living
To the sighs and pains of the dead
Black sky becomes my blanket
Covering me, it comforts me
Smothers my ever awakened fears
Awkward childish thoughts are shed
A life seen through bleary tears
But all shall pass from view
With the burning
With the rising
Of the night's holy shadow
These words are shallow
Like the grave I sleep in
But remember me
For I'll to come life again
And upon that great day
I'll tell you what it's like
To speak with the dead
And to return
Again
In hoary wakefulness
Or as I walk as a sleeper
I know
Nothing here is permanent
Only our soul calls
At the gates of the night's keeper

Questions and Choices

Should I die or should I even bother to live
Should I hate or should I bother to forgive
It's not as easy a choice as you might think
It is a moral quicksand into which I sink
With every moment I wonder my options
Where love is involved, I refuse caution
That's where I am, you needn't wonder
I can't answer, don't ask your question
As I stare off in a daze of pain, torture
Beginning a stream of thought confession
Yes you are correct, I've entered a state
But is it one of evolution, or regression
I can't say, I can't play, I live seriously
And whether it knows that it exists or not
I hereby surrender to the forces of fate
I cannot act, nor retaliate
I surrender

“Confession is not betrayal. What you say or do doesn't matter; only feelings matter. If they could make me stop loving you-that would be the real betrayal.”  George Orwell

Dead Reckoning

Years have passed with your name still upon my lips
When I call out in pain, why aren't you there
You aren't anywhere, anymore, I am alone
But you linger
Just as dust in the air
So free from this world
You escaped the torment of this life
And without you here, it is my turn
I've entered the abyss
Still remembering your kiss
That could free me and redeem me
For you were my salvation
I've nothing but a soul in starvation
And I am alone and missing you again
As the rest of my life, I shall be

"You remember the things you want to forget and forget the things you want to remember.” 
― Cormac McCarthy

So Dance, If you like

People told her not to dance
They thought she was silly
But she danced anyway
She was chasing away the years
Those she had memories of still
Didn't want to live by chance
Nothing silly about her act
No one should live in fear
And life is too important
To leave to circumstance
And the views of strangers
And fools
And idiots
Who can't see that
No one dances
Who doesn't have a need
To be free

You get what you give? Well maybe

Your words are filled with hate
And now you've been called out
Please ask me if I'm willing to die
For the very fickle attention of fate
I've absolutely no worries or doubt
That if asked for truth or a lie
That you'll receive in return
Exactly what you've given
As for me, yes I'll die for the truth
I also think that that'd be good
It is better to leave well
And in a final curtain
Than if I linger in the falsehoods
That I might create
Like those words of hate you spew
And those lies you believe in
Ask yourself again
What is truth, and you might change
Because there is no one to answer to
But yourself at the end of the day

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”  George Carlin

Meh

I could use some therapy
Or surgery
Upon the organs
That no longer work
Yes I still believe
But still
My heart grows weak
My brain is dull, tired
I no longer want to see
Anything new
Anything exciting
Anything worthwhile
Anything that brings relief
My pain is more than I care to go through
My life has offered struggles
Most of them will take me out
I believe
But the world brings me doubt