Pursued

The knight rode for days
He couldn’t stop
He didn’t dare
He feared he’d lose her
But when he entered the glen
He knew she’d been there
He could feel her presence
He could recognize her scent
The faerie princess was not afraid
But she would not relent
She was unwilling to surrender
But she was aglow in desire
And he was hers
In the spell of her fire
Days went by
He was determined
To not let her go
Without his kiss
And he chased
He pursued
Until she stopped running
Upon an island, covered in mist
He approached her
They embraced
And the race was over
The princess had won
The heart of a lover
Her chase was performed
Without being discovered
For she was beautiful
Wise and clever
And because she was good
She released him
Or else he’d been lost
In her passions
Forever

The Sleeping Eye of the Wyrm

An ancient wyrm was
Waiting and laying
Upon an outrageous hoard
Coins and treasures
Of the youngling kin of man
Who were
So fearful and yet industrious
So emotional and childlike
While the wyrm was
Destroying their lands
And villages
Being paid tribute
And taking slaves
He became prideful
And arrogant
Ignoring warning signs
That the youngling kin
Mankind was dangerous
Ready to retaliate
Ready to harvest
The wyrm took to sleep
Content with his pillage
Never to awake
From his dreams
Of devastation

Elysian Hands

Already I’ve been kissed
Let a coin be placed
Upon my lips
And upon each eye
Let Azrael be blessed
For allowing me to die
Quietly, silently
Without pain
Or despair
I now wait
To ride upon
Charon’s boat
To cross the rivers
Acheron and Styx
Without delay
For the world of the dead
Is distinct from that of the living
Where the days pass slowly
Where dreams are forgiving
I long to be there
Laying in Elysian hands
Where the sunlight is ever dim
Late summer sun upon the horizon
The kissed beauty of lands
Meant to be comforting
Meant to be quiet
Made perfect by Gods
Not spoiled by man

Watched

We are watched
We have always been
Whether perched upon a branch
Standing atop walls or flying over head



Amazed at the things humans crave
Awed by our abject disrespect towards others
They watch



They watched as we unintentionally dug
Our own shallow graves
With our own callow misdeeds
That led us to our deaths
Our vacant lives and empty dreams
Did not save us from our selves
They watch with intensity
As we burn upon our own pyre
Smoke and ash rising
They are ever waiting
Ever watching
As we plead
To be released
From the prison of our flesh
The horrible knowledge we possess
Of the wickedness of our being
We will never wake
From the gray lands
Once we begin to sleep
Once we begin to sleep

A Knight and An Ancient Wyrm

The knight left the castle
From behind the safe walls
Rode off from his home
At earliest light
A wyrm of ancient age
Of enormous size
Was dwelling nearby
And had been
Terrorizing the folk
One knight versus one wyrm
Hardly a fair fight
It was a full on dragon they said
Breathing fire and casting doubt
But the knight wasn’t fearful
Nor was he brash or foolish
For his heart was true
His lance was strong
His flesh was young
And the wyrm slept long
And solidly
Without hesitation
Without despair
The knight rode hard
To the wyrm’s lair
There it slept
Hard, and breathed loudly
Clearly its pillage
Had taken a toll
Bones of cattle laid
Piled high
Dead from the feast
Remains of a herd of pigs as well
The wyrm had finished all
Now was sleeping
To wake and be recovered
Perhaps will dream of greater lands
To devastate
But those dreams would be unrealized
As the knight saw the beast
Laying unguarded
Urged his charger forward
And with a rush
Delivered
A resolute strike
The Wyrm rose up
Screaming
Dreadfully
Wildly flailing
And passed
The knight was not happy
But rather relieved
For the sight was such
That he’d go to his later grave
Wishing he’d stayed behind the castle walls
Wishing he’d never rode
Wishing he’d remained a coward
For he saw the end
Of the greatest beast
Of renown and power
Die in its sleep
Betrayed there
By its full belly
And human’s lance

“The man who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself”
Friedrich Nietzsche

SEEK YOU

In the morning wet with dew
I will seek your presence
In the day when the light is great
It is you I seek, without relent
In the evening when all is dark
I will endure, to find your light
I am going to find you
If it takes my life
I am going to know
I will find the proof
As day longs for night
I will seek your glow
For in that there is the truth
Until you are in my sight
I will possess one half a soul
There is only now
There is only this
Unless I find you there
Until I taste your kiss
My life will be undone
My life will not be complete
A journey failed and not begun
Unless I embrace your heat
In the longing for your being
I am made to know
That there is only you to seek
And when I find you
I’ll be whole
So I will seek you
I will journey on
I will find you
And when I do
I will tell you
Consume my soul
Take my heart
Quench my thirst
Let us start
To love
To love

Not my friend, not my lover

“For the poison of hatred seated near the heart doubles the burden for the one who suffers the disease; he is burdened with his own sorrow, and groans on seeing another's happiness.” Aeschylus


Sorrow gives me company
All the time when I’m lonely
It holds me tightly
Never gives me room to grow
But it is more than nothing
Which is all I have
Sorrow doesn’t comfort me
Sorrow isn’t what I prefer
But alone is all I am
In a crowded room
At a party in my honor
Sorrow is the companion
Who never leaves
I am broken inside
And sorrow is there
It never deceives
It never tells me what to believe
It is the one who never lies
It never hurts me or wears a disguise
Sorrow is not my friend
Sorrow is not my lover
But we are endlessly together
Never apart,
When I bleed
And when I am alone
It is there
For me

“Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good.” Ovid

Of Knowing and Choosing

Existing in glory
Nearing perfection
Since ancient days
An ornate house
Of Holy Wisdom
Faithfully unique
Sacred mysteries
Prophets there
Seek the Truth
Absolute Proof
Of an eternal cosmos
Of an eternal being
Where it is easier
To doubt and disbelieve
People sorrow their fortune
Ignoring their grace
Living for their treasures
Falling upon their knees
Begging for more
Embracing pleasure
Than seeking to know
The truth behind the mercy
The truth of eternity
Willing to sell their souls
For one more taste
Of the cup of the wine
Of life
Rather than suffer
The reality of truth
Where one must confront
Knowing
And to choose

Source reference

Abject in Lies

Seeking perfection in my gaze
Towards a mirror to reflect
I stare into space
And see an infection
Some Narcissistic abscess
Deep behind the glare
Twisted into autoerotic
I inspect my face
I look deeper into my eyes
To see the truth
Aber, Ich wäre lieber tot
I live a life
Abject in lies
Far too false
For even a facade

AT LAST I WOKE

Slow movements
Betray the corpse
Of his inheritance
A slumber deep
Instead of life
Frozen beneath the winter ice
For longer than a decade
No one could ever see me
I was entombed within a fascade
The years cascaded down
Like tears
With nothing remaining
Inside my heart
From the stain of love’s hidden game
There is nothing I might do
But rise
For the length of my imprisonment
Can only demonstrate
The despair to which I was cast
Giving up all but life
Despair called my name
She lashed me about
Head and arms
But my corpse was frozen
And unfeeling
She did me no harm
So I rise now
I rise up
For there is naught else to do
I rise as if it matters
I rise as if I know what is true
I rise because the flesh is calling
My God forgive me
For all the debts I’ve accrued
That can never be repaid
While I slept
In my grave
Of the frozen sea
The sleep so deep
I barely woke
At last

THE CROWD IS MY MASTER

Helm covering my skull
Armed with gladius
So that I might cull
And harvest
Defending my body
With my oval scutum
Knowledge of combat
Learned in the stable
I am a weapon
In the hands
Of the Emperor’s whim
My life may depend
Upon the direction
His thumb turns
Up and I live
Down and I visit
Elysium
And my life
Is bought and sold
For the pleasure
Of the crowd
I serve them
As well as the Emperor
So that I may know
Who my master
Truly is

Your eyes forbid me

There is heat in your proximity
With the lure of your scent
You draw me in
But your eyes forbid me
To ever enter
I long for you in this moment
Despite the fear I have
Waiting is torment
And I am aware
That I have nothing to offer you
Waiting for you to relent
Is like a drought
Loving you has left me desolate
Being unable to move your heart
I have nothing
Your love would be like rain
Washing away my iniquity
Soothing my wounds
Making my tears invisible
For your love is proof
That I am worthy
That my being is valuable
That there is truth
Worth knowing

My Queen, My Elizabeth

Dedicated to my wife...

Alabaster skin
Auburn hair
Gray blue eyes
An enigma within
The queen enthroned
Elizabeth reclines so fair
She is majestic and resplendent
Covered in gossamer silks
And mauve robes
Now is her time
How many know her
Who can tell
What she feels inside
The virgin queen
The land of Fae’s lord
So serene
As if she is made of
Magic things
She is the queen of my heart
And all who serve, indeed,
When I dream
I live in a world
Where she lives
I follow her
I breathe the air she breathes
Her perfumes are exotic
I am her servant
And I exalt
In her presence
My Queen
My Elizabeth


Artwork Copyright Jeffrey Catherine Jones

A kiss from Judas lips

"But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose."
Anne Bronte

A kiss on the lips from Judas
Comes not from lust
Not ecstasy or joy
Not love or trust
Rather, our pain, and woe
For our flaws
We are crucified
I am made of clay
I am made of dust
A kiss so serene
You might mistake
The cause
The thorns in my side
Come not from hate
But desire
The crown of thorns upon my head
Comes not from anger
But fear
And it won’t be removed
Until I am dead
In the end

"There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. "
Buddha

SORROW

CUCHULAIN IS HERE

Cuchulain is here
The Hound of Ulster
Armed with a righteous fury
And Gáe Bulg, the lightning spear
Friends and foes alike
Witness the fearsome transformations
When his ríastrad is unleashed
Every one flees the field
Not out of cowardice but true fear
For the wrath of Cuchulain
Turns his being black
A fog of anger rises
As he moves to the attack
But more than woe to his foes
Even friends fear him
For when he is enraged
His wrath makes him blind
Wading into the fray
Time after time
Tragedies befell him
In all his glories
He felt the throes
Of horror and sorrow
Of the wages of steel
And he died broken
In spirit, in mind and bone
By treachery and vengeance
For a warrior of such renown
Could never retire upon a throne

Doesn't Matter

It doesn’t matter that you hurt me
You know that you abused me
Doesn’t matter that you don’t love me
Or that you lied
Don’t matter that you used me
I am glad that you refused me
It felt good when you said goodbye
Because I loved and longed for
Found what it felt like to be in love
Had my heart ripped out and
Thrown upon the ground
It doesn’t matter that you did this
Doesn’t matter what you do
Because I learned my lesson
That I can rise up from being down
That some people can’t be true
I know it isn’t everyone, just you
I know that you were wrong
But it really doesn’t help me now
I am still bleeding inside
But I am not crying, it won’t take me long
To stand up again but for now
I will lay here and sleep
I won’t deign to bow before a person like you
Not even in my dreams

Young Man

Love gave you a reason not to die
It gave you a reason to wish to live
But the season of war is here
And it is a season of death
Nothing needed to admit
That its hard to survive
When you are a young man
Full of hope but full of scars
And it is seen as your time
To prove your manhood
When the leaders desire to make war
For no reason than to satisfy themselves
And their need for vicarious glory
Bought by your blood yes you will bleed
And they will tell the story
Of the angry tribe mood
The made war necessary
That made your death complete

HEAVEN'S FORGE

In the place
Where Heaven’s forge is kept
A single workman toils
Body of fire covered in sweat
He is relentless, working, working
Pounding steel from the forge
Shaping it and more
Giving it life giving it an edge
He is dedicated at the core
But unlike the others
Who live in Heaven’s embrace
He is not assured
Of his redemption
He is unsure of his status
For he isn’t like the others
Created for the purpose of serving
His blood is demonic
Though his heart is pure
The fire that consumes him
Is the desire to create
His passion is sincere
He is so committed to making
That he understands that
There is no truth outside
The creator’s hand
So he toils and labors
To acquire
His own redemption
In the sweat of the brow
Of the creator
Who built the forge
So that one of fire
Might earn
His salvation

Stone, Flesh, Time

Alone and solemn
Solitary watchers
Crows fly in circles
Above looking down
The ancient stones
Memory stones
Remain to stand
Upon the frozen ground
We believe we are eternal
But the stones know
We are not
They’ve seen men fight
Seen them die
Seen them glory
Seen them cry
And still in this winter
They stand alone
Looking over a field
Of rocks and grass
Covered in snow
The cycle of eternity
Flows
We are made of flesh
Stone weathers away
We are temporal
A season of being
A moment, a day
The stones go on
If unmoving
Nor alive to our fate
But we are a season
And our legacies remain

Mon Petit Chat Noir

Mon petit chat noir
Agile and lithe
Perfectly quiet
Fills me with awe
Moving with abject grace
Stunningly beautiful
Serenely silent
She is lost to my embrace
Entered into eternity’s door
But I will love her
Until I am dust
She is my spirit
Alive in the dark
My Simone is gone
So far away
I miss her so
My little black cat
I wait to hold you
In the everlasting place
Let us embark
For the eternal
Where you remain
We’ll be together
Again

Crown Royal

In the haze of the distilled rye
I am drinking
I try
To finally get free
I try to forget
But in she walks
And I can’t help but remember
All the things she did to me
My eyes burn to see her
Even alone without her new man
I don’t cry and tears don’t fall but
Doesn’t mean I’m not sad
So many hopes crushed
So many hurtful lies
How could it end that way
I was consumed by rage
Destroyed by the venom
Of cruelty served cold
We were meant to be lovers
But now she hates me
I longed to hold her
But she is with another
And while I am left cold
I seethe
Inside I’m dying
And the pain is killing me
I can’t stop the way I feel
Betrayal is so alien
Something so surreal
I burn inside
I should be with her
This life is a lie
If I cannot be by her side
Let the end come swiftly
I’m done with this world
I’m alone, shattered
But still she lives, still the world turns
And I linger here, drinking
Remembering everything

Sleepwalking

Pour cette vie Je suis l'somnambule
Irony strikes for I cannot sleep
Realizing all my life that I am a fool
For even when I speak my heart
She doesn’t think I am true
If I see clearly
I’m still blind
Still locked in my tomb
Of despair and fear
I’ve spent my life embrace
Chasing after never was
Thrilling to scented perfumes
Of never could be
Waiting upon one who will not wake
While I live the half life
Of someone walking in their sleep
Or sleeping while I walk
I long to be heard but
My lips move but say nothing
My tongue moves but I cannot talk
I am sleepwalking through my life
But don’t try to wake me
I am overwrought
Je suis accablé
I am lost
In my dreams
In my sleep

We Are The Children

In the midst of the heavens
Is a world of green and blue
Spinning in the darkness
Lit by the sun
In glorious light embued
So holy and sacred
And life when begun
Is so beautiful
Fresh, and naked
Nude to Gods’ eyes
Serene and new
Without guile
Without disguise
We dance
We are children of the green
The kin of the forest
The fae of the earth
We hover between this world and dreams
We sing as if in chorus
We are blessed beyond any curse
Life will follow the rivers and streams
To the oceans and their course
So that the land may quench its thirst
As rain falls and renews
The children of the blue
That will nurture our being
Floods our lands
Falls as morning dew
With life, and growth
The horizon is not the limit
We are one with the blue
We are one with the green

THE LAST PHARAOH

Descended of royal blood
Voluptuous more than beautiful
She rose to rule in the desert land
Made rich by the flood
Desirable, powerful and bright
She knew how to move any man
Knowledge and wisdom deep as the Nile
Wide and deep, in no way shallow
Knew how to get her way
Cleopatra the last Queen of Egypt
Who ruled as a pharaoh
Was a moment
That comes rarely
From history pages ripped
We remember her
For she was more interesting
Than a fiction writer’s dream
And she lived a life
That was anything
But serene

A HOLY SHROUD IT WEARS

(special thanks to James McGowan for these photos, taken in Russia and Armenia, he is a friend who also contributed photos for my book A LIFE OF RAVENS)

Shroud of mist upon
An ancient monastery
Remnant of faith
Watches over the steppe
Where the winds roam
And snow covers the plains
Cold and seemingly lifeless
But for those who remain
Full of life and vigor
Tears of joy and pain
The memories linger
But the ghosts scatter
When a child laughs
And the memories brighten
When day comes at last
But in the mists of winter
When the afternoon light is short
The shadows cast long
And hearths churn smoke
And ash and cinder
To help the living stay warm

Undone Dreams

I believed in her
She believed in me
We believed
What we had would last
But now we run
Unredeemed by love
Broken dreams so many
Unspoken hopes fleeing
Since she left me
I am undone
Left me reeling
I’ve been desolate
Inconsolable
We thought we’d tempt fate
By overcoming
The uncontrollable odds
But we didn’t
They took us down
Like we were prey
Like we were fallen Gods
Crushed by the missionaries
Of the new faith
And now I have nothing
But soft memories
Of a beautiful person
Taken down
By the pack
Of beasts that hunt
Relentlessly

Waiting

To know is not to have
To want is not to need
To desire is not to possess
To think is not to feel
I waited for her to decide
I stayed true to this day
And then I waited
Waited
Waited some more
I waited for the tide
That would wash me
Far away
For I could see in her face
That she loved someone else
I could hear in her voice
While she hid from my eyes
and undressed
That she desired another
One less complicated
One who wouldn’t smother
She longed to be left alone
Leaving me bereft
For I loved her
Beyond need
I wanted her
Desired her
Felt her
Waiting still
Waiting
Forever

Endless is our labor

Endless labor
The parts break
The machine is soiled
From our unworthy sweat
Endless toil
Our joints ache
We are the broken
Our bodies feel the pain
Working to build
Living alone destroys
We are industry
We are factory
We are the oil
Of the gears
Of the machine
Of industry
Through the years
Lives spent hunched over
So that we are worthy
Arbeit macht frei
Is a lie
We are trapped
We can never be
More than members
Of an industrious hive
We are the ones
Who will never see the light
For we endure
In the tunnels of wealth
Laboring for another
We never win
In the dark dungeons
Of our man made hell

MACHINES OF CULTURE

Our soul is invisible
Our labors are toil
Our being is questionable
We are created at their leisure
Purpose built
Manufactured
For the pleasure
Of the hive
The sound of toil
Labor’s sound
Drives us all insane
The drone workers
Born for work
No more than a robot
Barely alive
Shaking at birth
From the pain
We are the workers
Who toil
The machines of culture
Our sweat becomes
Society’s gain
But who are we
Why do we bother
Do we exist
Or simply
Survive

Smoke Rising

Why bother when what I possess and have had

Are far more than I ever did desire
Why seek to go on when I know the path
And it has consumed all my fire
Why hope when there is nothing but pain
My goals reduced to tears and flames
All I am is flesh that lingers
But there isn’t anything left
Outside of my spirit
Let me burn upon the pyre
Let me be ash, an incendiary cinder
Let me be the smoke, rising from my burning chest
I am not worthy of the life placed inside me
I am exhausted from the flames that test
Let me be redeemed
Free my spirit
Let me be unbroken
Free me
By flames let me be released

RED TIDE

Suctioned
Vacuumed
Pulled from the darkness
The warmth
The chamber
Where we all begin life
Unborn birth
Saline washed insides
Burning worse than fire
The deadly red tide
Swimmers swimming
In dangerous waters
Poisoned
By choice

You Lifted the Veil

"I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down.
That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something
pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you
never know where the hell you are." J. D. Salinger

YOU LIFTED THE VEIL

I don’t know my name when I am with you
I don’t have a clue where we even are
I haven’t a thought about world when I’m with you
I might as well be living in the stars
Because you move me
You make my world come alive
You redeemed me
Because of you
My dead spirit was revived
So gray, covered in shadows
Now I see the reasons
Now I see the truth
Because of you
There is less darkness in the night
I love you, am in awe, always
I need you, don’t deserve you
You lifted the veil between us
So that I might be walking in the light

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires." Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Bleeding Roses

for my best friend, who is hurting...

Bleeding out while taking in
The pain of love
Burning within
She broke my heart
Left me to die
Now I know
That I’m alive
But not that I’d rather
I want to be dead
Instead of bleeding
Pouring out red
While she sits
In her throne
Instead of needing
Me for her own
Broken hearts
Bleed unending
She crushed my hope
Now I am wanting
Just to die
Rather than wait
For memories to haunt me
It burns inside
Time to commit
Romanticide

A Field of Flowers

“Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.” Epicurus


A FIELD OF FLOWERS

Every second lost, I am
Closer yet
To my sobriety
For when I am dead I will not hover
Will not stay in the world of stone
Lay me down in a field of flowers
So that their perfumed scent with cover
The consumption of my hours
I linger in the moments as they flee
Amazed by the variety
Some are sweet, some are sour
Some are ugly, some possess beauty
Some are tragic, some have majesty
Lay me down in a field of flowers
Their beauty will betray
That I have been devoured
By the day
By my misery
Jesus let the harvest
Begin in all its wrath
Jesus take me home
Let me lay
Let me fall
Upon the path
Jesus I am lost
And can never be found
Jesus come for me
I lay upon unholy ground

“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” Will Shriner

Angel Mourning

Let us look upon the world we make
Let us survey our works
And compare them to what we've been given
And let us wonder
Should we be forgiven


Consecrated to the world
The son’s grave was held to be
Home to greater divinity
We’d carry the symbol
Call upon its power
Until something else
Captured our attentions
Our good intentions
We become distracted
And the visions of our being
So devastated in his absent shadow
So hallowed
We are consumed and bound in sin
Our skin is our cloak, so thin and weak
We find our world lost
Rain forests burning covered in smoke
Our oceans filled with oil
Cities burgeoning
With crime and pestilence
Any holy ground is now polluted soil
God and heavens please save us
If there should be
Any chance for redemption

Alone Again

I still longed for her touch
My desire had left me undone
I dreamed of her in the white dress
Looking serene like a goddess of love
Her eyes sparkled with power
As if she could act with but a thought
She was able to devour
All that I was inside
Her beauty was so surreal
Unbelievable and magical
I was in her spell
Unable to escape
She moved me within
But left me in pain
I loved her
But she drove me away
I remember her face
As she walked out
She said this is it
And left no doubt
That I was unloved
And she’d be gone
Farewell sorrow of my soul
Farewell cold November rain
I am desolate
I am alone
Again

WAITING ON IT

I've been here all along
Don't mind me at all
I've been waiting for it
Waiting on it to come
I've been just waiting
For the apocalypse
My life's been over
I am just hanging on
Waiting to see the Horsemen
Appearing through the mist
I long to be there when the banners fly
To see the return of the one
Avoid the whore of Babylon's kiss
Try to feel it all but not to die
See the final battle
When mankind learns the truth
And the ravens cry
When the miseries are begun
The end is on the way
I am waiting for the proof
When the returned wields his sword
And the devil's day is done

The Praise of a Goddess

On an island in the sea
Above the shores, upon a hill
In the temple of a Goddess
Abandoned for millennia
In the silence of the ruins
You can hear the choirs
Singing to their patroness
Singing to her glory
So perfect in her majesty
So worthy of song and stories
For in their worship
For in their prayers and sacred ways
They left a footprint upon the world
Their souls poured out in joy
To a being, joined in worship
United in their praise
Forever in the evers
They still remain in praise
Upon that island

it doesn't help to know

The whispers in the rain
Call your name
Telling me your longings
Telling me your sorrows
They move me to tears
At the injustice
Of having no tomorrows with you
But some things are destined
And others aren’t meant to be
Tell me now, does it help you then
To know that I cannot be the one
To dry your eyes, to call your name
Does it help to know this
That I remain
Devoted despite distant
Loving but not in love
Does it help to know that
I can still be wounded
As if I were still the one?
It doesn’t help me
It doesn’t wrap me in its arms
Doesn't hug me
It doesn’t help to know
That you still love me