Wings broken

The winds blow against me
I am kept still
These wings do not lift
They are broken and weak
I am shattered
Unfulfilled
Take my prayers and keep them
When my time comes
I’ll be ready to leave
For I am aware of the cost
And the moment I calculate
What I’ve paid
For the opportunity I’ve had
It is far too expensive
I am waiting
Pensive and broken
Nothing able to satiate
The need for relief
Nothing able to shake
The desire
To be out of pain
To be done with this body
So much unspoken fear
So many years of anguish
Let it rain
Let the tears pour down
All around me
Surround me
Upon the ground
Screaming
Out
Still no doubt
Am I reaching out
Will I ever be found
Is someone searching
For me
Or am I abandoned
To my personal fate
My own oblivion

Bloodied Broken Mirror

I am a lie
I am a bad memory
A false reflection
I stare into the distance
Crucified and frozen
Like a retarded Christ
No chance of my redemption
No one lives because I die
Broken and bloodied
The mirror reflects
All that I've survived
And I wonder why
I wonder why do I persist
There is nothing in me
Nothing worthy
Nothing about me
That other's wish
I am a mockery
Of all that is good in men
I am a false prophet
False flesh
No chance for holiness
No chance for resistance
I am reflected
In a broken bloodied mirror
The owner of my flesh
Has nothing but pain
And when I am dissected
There will be nothing to gain
For inside me is clay
Mud and water dried
And when I am gone
I will be forgotten
With no tears cried
For I reflect
I am decay
With only the slightest worth
My flesh dries
My being gone
I am ash in the sky
Unworthy of any song
No mourning will be heard
No tears will be cried
I will be poured upon the earth
In ash, in word
Without life

All I have is hope

Devoured
Spat out
Consumed
Full of doubt
I am wounded
Again
In despair
I remain
Undone
By my grief
Only shards of hope
Consoled by belief
But all I care about
Is that there will be a rain
That washes
All this world away
I have hope
And that sustains me
But it is all
That I have
All I am inside hurts
Believe me
It is breaking bad
And I have no control
Driving me mad
And I only have hope
To sustain
Through the bleeding
And pain
Only hope
To deal with this place
Before all that exists
Is me insane

Floating

I am like an
Ancient abandoned
Astronaut
Floating in space
Lost in the nethers
Without purpose
Only pain
I cannot endure
Dreams destroyed
Insanity splatters
Not enough vicodin
Calling on morphine
Today
Gray skies gray matter
Hook me into the mother
Place my hose on the regulator
Let my mind clear
From the distant chatter
Set me forth into the haze
Of a normal day
Inject me with all your chemicals
I reject all of my skin
Let me exist
Far away from this place
Let me escape from within
Every moment I breathe
My sins gather
And I spread the seed
Every second held in pain
My anger grows
And I seethe
Only by my death
Will I be released
Only through death
Will I be redeemed

I am blind

My soul bears scars
From times when I've allowed
People to get too close
My soul is unique
It is the only thing I possess
Outside of mind
My skin
My bones and flesh
I let people in
All the time
And my heart doesn't stop
Letting them
Get within
The boundaries I've set
The walls I've built
And every day I am wounded
Every day I am scarred
Inside
By my own hand
When I refuse
To hold them back
They break me
Strip me
Rip me
Tear my soul
Until I am blind
To anyone in need
Other than me

Je ne peux plus l'amour

You have hurt me
You have torn me so
Wounded my soul
Thrown me to the winds
Made my heart so cold
I am the one
Who must recover
From this
Never again can I
Be someone's lover
Never again will I kiss
I am undone by you
You have gripped my being
My spirit has burned through
Your words the match
Your love the gasoline
Answers to my questions
I will never receive
You never loved me
But I always believed
And now it is over
My heart beats
Aching the sound of thunder
I can barely breathe
I am torn asunder
Thrown into the breeze
Cast into the sea
I am no longer alive
I simply survive

MACHINES OF CULTURE

Our soul is invisible
Our labors are toil
Our being is questionable
We are created at their leisure
Purpose built
Manufactured
For the pleasure
Of the hive
The sound of toil
Labor’s sound
Drives us all insane
The drone workers
Born for work
No more than a robot
Barely alive
Shaking at birth
From the pain
We are the workers
Who toil
The machines of culture
Our sweat becomes
Society’s gain
But who are we
Why do we bother
Do we exist
Or simply
Survive

I woke up to Red Skies

I woke up to red skies
Sitting in the midst of rubble
I was praying for comfort
But I wasn’t standing
Upon any holy ground
The smoke was rising
Collapsing lives unfulfilled
There wasn’t a sound
The fire was growing
The winds were still
And the rain fell down
Someone crying for a life of hell
And the need for a scarlet garment
A striking red wedding gown
The groom is returning soon
The bride’s life is burning
There is no room to recover
For we live upon the world’s edge
About to fall in the crevice
Having already abandoned the fetus
To the salt water tide
And our sisters and brothers
And having devoured our parents
In a ritual sacrifice
We passed the cup to drink
Beneath the silent screams
We hid beneath our disguise
A cloak of withered flesh
A belt of broken dreams
Our hopes turned to dust
The red skies are turned loose
Our lies are the noose
That hangs us