Cry of the Innocent

Woven into the walls
The memories of the screams
Carrying into oblivion
Victim hopes and every dream
Concrete blocks stained
The wounds were unending
The pain pours out loudly
The path to death unbending
Cry the innocent
What is their life compared to yours
Cry of the children and lost
When consumed by corporate whores
Who bears the cost?
When earth is made toxic
When all water poisoned
There is no trust in truth
The greatest hope is to survive
As this world longs to exploit them
And there is nothing they can do

Psalm 68:5 NIV
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

Rusted Steel Leviathans

We watch as the children play upon the rusted steel leviathans.

Rulers of the world in the past before the fall and the famines.

They now dance and act as if upon the stage, ignorant to the wars of the damned.

It was a miracle to survive the final act.

Our leaders worshiped Mammon, the wars return us to the stone age.

There is not a patch of green in a brown land, as we are forced to accept our place in the caste.

Where only steel artifacts remain, bones of the dragons,
          how they've littered the fields where we now must live.

There is nothing left but to forgive those called the destroyers.

We must try to begin building a world.

Let us return to civilization
                as ever before anew.

“Night and day, wind and storm, tide and earthquake, impeded man no longer. He had harnessed Leviathan. All the old literature, with its praise of Nature, and its fear of Nature, rang false as the prattle of a child.”  E.M. Forster 

Sacrificed

A soul still bleeding after his kiss
Shards of sorrow the epiphany
Your enormous suffering I missed 
An exquisite pain never leaves the flesh
I've tried to say no, tried my best to resist
Because I couldn't watch them kill you
I thought I understood the meaning of chivalry
But that was laid bare and false upon Calvary 
Far more clearly is the meaning of death
A couple nails through the feet, and ankles
You've been crucified, without a way out
With crying family and followers to wait
Removed from the cross
Crucifixion left your body slowly strangled
Body broken, many followers in doubt
I was brave but never your surrogate
I could never tempt such fate
While I do not deserve it
By your sacrifice I am redeemed
I have a clean slate
The debts are gone
My soul is free

Beneath the irradiated sands

Nothing should be taken for granted
Not our world or the species therein
And yet we poisoned our planet
And our  anger transplanted
My eyes look across the plain
And I burn in a deeper shame
For what there no longer is, is by our hands
A sacrifice of innocence in the flames

Now I walk in irradiated deserts
Sands cover cities we once built
High and ever glorious
We created systems, teaming with existence

Until we chose to destroy, enter divorce
With nature we then split
Our souls preferred to sleep with Morpheus
Dreaming of greatness while giving in to the resistance

  
We became the spear that pierced
The body of god, oh great shame, great guilt
Building machines, in our image so obvious
We passed from view, due to our lack of persistence

We cursed the land
By the acts of every hand
We wanted to become gods
Instead, we became the damned
Standing before God we cry
How should we have known
But we chose our kind of suicide
And now we've nearly all passed and died

A prayer

Dear God
That thing that I was I praying for
Please delete from my list
The love and desire I had is dislodged
I think it is time to return to who I was before
And I'll try to catch all the messages I missed
I've been a ghost, in a waking life
I've been a child of misfortune
A sorrowful child of the sky
Waiting for all that might have been
I was not meant for this world
My cord was cut as with a knife
Hung like fruit in a body's orchard
Aware all the time of my plight
My soul was to be moved, but bent
Let the surrender flag be unfurled
I'll be gone before the fall of night

“Love or hatred calls for self-surrender. He cuts a fine figure, the warm-blooded, prosperous man, solidly entrenched in his well-being, who one fine day surrenders all to love—or to hatred; himself, his house, his land, his memories.”  Jean-Paul Sartre

Cruel Flavor

You broke their hearts and then you laughed
Never understood you, from day one to the last
You wanted love without returning the favor
If beautiful, you still give off a cruel flavor
Keep arguing about things that don't matter
Demanding things until your friends scatter
In the end, you'll not find yourself satisfied
You aren't worth the tears people have cried
Wrap more barbed wire, protect yourself
Because only you and the traitors left











“Amid the moon and the stars, amid the clouds of the night, 
amid the hills which bordered on the sky with their magnificent
silhouette of pointed cedars, amid the speckled patches of the 
moon, amid the temple buildings that emerged sparkling white 
out of the surrounding darkness - amid all this, I was intoxicated 
by the pellucid beauty of Uiko's treachery.”  Yukio Mishima

He Despairs

I was asked by an old man

"What do you pray for before sleep"

I said
'for the health, hope, and well being of my family'
I asked

"Why, what do you pray, what words do you say?"

He said

"Each time I close my eyes at night
I pray to never wake again
That doesn't mean I've done anything wrong
Just that this life
This flawed and foolish life
Has gone on far too long
I don't pray to reach heaven
I don't pray to get away from the pain
I pray it ends
Because that is all I know is real"

The truth is, he need never pray
The things he wishes for may some day come true
For the despair his words reveal that will be ended too
 Someday

Falling but I stand

Some fools live even despite themselves.  Some saints are so averse to pleasure they despise living.  So many dark souls hunger to kill for the thrill.  Who will stand for the innocent, who will stop the darkness. Some shout What does it matter?  Why should we care if everything dies, Why  care if all hope shatters?  I say now, I care.  It is why I fight.

There inside the devil's lair, I heard the cry of the innocents, I heard them call to God on high. I had to act, defending them remained my task. My weapon, if nothing else, is a force of will.  There before me there was a body orchard, with bodies hanging like ripe fruit, many wearing death's mask. Few still lived, without rescue they'd all pass, by now so cold, so numb, the bodies blue.  

Gathering courage, I drove my steed into their midst, with abandon, for the margin of life or death was thin.  My lance cut the strap holding each to their tree, I cried victory with each soul saved, they were free.  But I had demons to fight, and bloody ichors covered me. Yet we escaped with our lives, and for that, we were thankful, grateful, and blessed.

I made my stand, freely offered up myself as a sacrifice.  Had I died, I'd have been satisfied, for giving all to the cause of the one.  But I survived. And then I did wait, until the play was over, and this magnificent the masquerade was done.   I am ready, let the curtains fall.  To the surface of the earth let the rebellious  angels crash, and burn. I am not an angel, but my savior paid my debts, perhaps I am the only one left.

Let me linger in his memory, for all I am, is due to him.   Let me be a witness to the new birth.  A new world beckons, foreseen by prophets, before us is a fresh path that only knows to care, with people who desire to know truth.  This generation may die, if so let it end quickly, quietly, but let us welcome the new human.  

In his or her new world they hunger, to know the one. The new human will desire to know what is right. They will long to know, and for  truth thirst.  I now let hope live in my heart, with all else that is good.  I have also been healed, so there are no scars of the past.   I will live to see the day, when finally, the innocents come first.

“It is not enough that we do our best; sometimes we 

must do what is required.”  Winston S. Churchill 

Not perfect

I tried to be all that life would let me be, without being what you wanted.  I'll never be what I wished to be, and that will leave me haunted.  I loved you, tried to make you proud, but you could never be, because I needed love, but cried too loud, even when tears were needed.

We were different spirits, never seeing eye to eye, still I'd come if you called. I wanted the best for you, but you wanted me to fall.  I wanted to live and be happy, like everyone else, you wanted that for yourself but didn't seem to want any happiness left.

I miss you, as any person who has lost a meaningful love.  But you never had inside enough, to share.  So am I saying life is so unfair?  You could have given me to another, had you really not wanted me, but you didn't, poisoning our time together.

They Were Reviled But...

How they have entered current memory
Per the user, is how they are now remembered
Some see them as saints who gave all for a cause
Others view them as a blight upon history
They and their order were killed and dismembered
As badly as they were slain, their history is deeply flawed
With deep mist and fog, their existence was a true mystery
The burning fires of their slaughter still have glowing embers
 They could not escape nobility's desire and gaping maw
Never allowing a challenger to exist

Comrades

After years of knowing me, you know how I tick
Years together lets us know, buddies can be dicks
I know that friends fall apart, even if they're close
Sharing interests that change, even sharing clothes
If we were in a war, each would take the other's pain
We know what sets us off, we drive each other insane
But I love you, always will, would die for you but still
Wonder if you care at times, wonder what you feel inside
I'll let the years settle in and will always be your friend

“He which hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart, his passport shall be made and crowns for convoy put into his purse. We would not die in that man's company that fears his fellowship, to die with us.”  William Shakespeare

Crimson sprayed

Burned in effigy, in her angry mind, I was a victim of the hate she kept stored inside.
Thinking I was crazy, that I was defective, worthless and unworthy for her to forgive.
My eyes stare at the sun, never going blind, I couldn't see anything worth a fight.
Her hatred condemned me to the great abyss, all for the want of love in her kiss.

“Unspeakable feelings need to find expression in words. However... 
verbalization of very intense feelings may be a difficult task.” 

James A. Chu

The portion of blame

Please tell me true, what is my portion of blame?

Who bears the reason for my presence, and now, since I've gone, my absence? Am I the one child of no name? Well I am a bastard, yes? But am I a fool?

I have no pretense but I might try to be good.  I am the son of the moment,  unable to push straight through, to the end of the days.

I desire the torment and the haze, leading to that place. Forward ever forward, progress yes, be the proof!

Tell them all about your greatness, tell them you are more than an insect, a despicable child of incest, venomous, wild and living in an abscess.

I know my being so honest has troubled others. They love telling me to my face that I must be a child of a different mother, than any that they ever knew.

This flesh lives a life that is akin to walking upon a bridge from the known to the unknown.  From a world that is absurd and unfair, to one of generosity and joy.

I live in sin, and burn with regret for each one within.  The bridge is there, and I long to take it to nowhere.

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”  

Omar Khayyám

Damned if we'll be the curse

Told we can never rise
That our souls are vacant
And live vile empty lives
Our great dreams are vapid
That our world we despise
But
We sorrow when children are hurt
We consider family sacred ground
We hope for the lost of our tribe
If cast into the vast dangerous desert
We make the most beautiful sound
Raising the cry
We refuse to believe in the lie
We are the children of earth
We might not be her blessing
Damned if we'll be her curse

“We wanderers, ever seeking the lonelier way, 
begin no day where we have ended another day; 
and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us.” 

Khalil Gibran

Floating on High

Goodbye she said
And I thought
Well you see
I'll be better off dead
If this beautiful person thinks
I'm too awful of a fish to keep
She'd rather be alone instead
What does it matter to me?
Because the path this love has led
Would kill me soon enough
I'd be free and in death there dream
And thereafter fly upon high
Looking down upon the earth
Seeing you living
Your better life

“There was a long hard time when I kept 
far from me the remembrance of what I 
had thrown away when I was quite ignorant 
of its worth.”  Charles Dickens

Fragility and Fear

There are some who say there is no hope
Every life features a path
Treading it is between hell and survival
No hope even for Heaven
Hell does not easily endure trials of life
So we seek a place of sleep and quiet
Hoping for solemnity and grace abundant
Perhaps it is hidden amidst a structure 
Abode of safety, invisible walls, construct
Perfect silence
Yes, it does exist
There is no mask or disguise only exquisite lies
So you push and enter a state of perfect tranquility
No natural way to enter into the place
Too many distractions and pain, fear and fragility
No need for resistance because there is no escape
Life has a toll and you have a soul
Both have to be obeyed
Where they lead is up to you

“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.”  Edgar Allan Poe

Staring at the sun

“No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality.”  Shirley Jackson

Living in a world gone blind I decided to try something new, something that would change the way I thought, the way I saw, the way I was. It occurred to me, and I knew, there was no way out.

Staring at the sun, I'd begun to cry as the tears burned. The light was intense, and I had no regrets, even fewer doubts.  For a moment I thought angels were flying nearby.

But as my vision had faded, by the sound of their wings, I knew, I was present when the birds of our planet sought to leave. They had nowhere to go, the world they'd known was now dying.

However they escape it would end similarly, no matter how hard they might be trying.  The world and all of her children will surely be gone. Explanations fail, I could be wrong.

So I ask myself, is it wrong to seek to live, to find someplace better, along with all who are able to leave?  Is it wrong to survive, even if we caused the death of this place?

Even if I've been deceived and know I am a fool, do I deserve to live? If so how can I join the birds?  How can I fly to a safe place?  How can I find a way to be alive, in a world that death has embraced?

“There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.”  Oscar Wilde

Early Exit

We were finished before we'd begun
What there was is almost gone
With only fine ash that remains
Oblivion once invited never leaves
We lied and tried saying all are one
You can capture the truth in song
We are known by numbers not names
Nothing changes if you just believe
Apocalypse and Armageddon just words
Appealing to those seeking the end
Instead of building hope together
We have wrought what we now have
A world with no wild, no bees, no birds
We've ignored the messages nature sent
We'll never reach the world of ever
Instead will receive vast offerings
For we are the damned

“And how should we behave during this Apocalypse? 
We should be unusually kind to one another, certainly. 
But we should also stop being so serious. Jokes help a 
lot. And get a dog, if you don't already have one.”  

Kurt Vonnegut

 

















I am a Christian, and I do believe. But belief without action is every bit as meaningless as non belief.   Every thing that imperils the world could be fought and changed.  But we watch...

Liberation

Human life has limits imposed by time, flesh, and inclinations

A world is vast, oceans incalculable, with fortune born by wind

Rhythms of power, endless tides of war, coinage of the realm

All forms of contact, all wages from labors, rages overwhelm

One day the Jolly Roger, flag of piracy will be your liberation

It will be your source of freedom, from the cages within

And without

A tapestry

A magnificent golden tapestry 
Woven in unison together
Our life was a master's piece
Now we have simple threads
Our love once defied gravity
Believed our love was forever
Anger is now become caprice
Following where love has led
And lost our collective sanity

 









“Destiny itself is like a wonderful wide tapestry 
in which every thread is guided by an unspeakable 
tender hand, placed beside another thread and 
held and carried by a hundred others.”
 
Rainer Maria Rilke

Memory Abyss

Memories are my prison cage
Iron bars prevent my escape
The things I did or didn't do
Led me here, that is the truth
Whether I go on or never start
My flesh shows the deep scars
I wake at night shaking
I dream the worst things
My memories do not pass
No hope behind the veil
Into the abyss I've been cast

“Only pious people believe that hell is in a world beyond.”
― Ernst Wiechert

Crash

Smoke still rises from where I crashed

Angels take me from that burning place

I hear them all exalt the lord's miracles

But I'd not entered heaven, only sleep

Life passes in moments there in a flash

You long for home, but its been replaced

As the children sing their songs mythical

While you pass for the dead as you dream

So deeply dream

Long past the rising of the sun

Secrets there will never keep

For in the land of sleep

Everyone knows everything you've ever done

Linger in the perfumed land of leisure and silk

Or walk long in a pure white panorama

And you wonder what is the point

But you can't leave once you've begun

You've never died, but life is yet to be

I long for the taste 

But it will never be mine

So I sleep and dream until I can find 

Perfection and sympathy 

For the wounds caused by me

Beloved Holy Shadows

I heard you whisper in my heart, that you never left, even if it has been years you've been absent, for so very long.   You were there, deeply place inside my heart.  Life is unfair, so I don't ever try to understand why, or where, just know, I knew that you were never going to be gone.

In my ear I heard you say, 'Turn from the window, ignore that shadow passing by, I am the soul inhabiting your time.'  You let me know that you would deeply, sincerely, fully make me again feel whole. 

Tell me why you choose to keep me warm, when I live the most bitter cold?  I heard you say 'Because love never ends.  If we burn through a million lives, you will receive the love I send.  Because love never ends.  You can walk a million steps, travel across galaxies, but you'll never be separated from my love.'

Strapped to the mast

It is my dream
To watch as they flee
Seeing my enemies fall before me
But I cannot sleep
For days ocean waves
Have ripped across the deck
To the sea of torment I've been cast
Yes I was a bad man
I cannot ignore the winds
Or we'll be awash
And a wreck
In the shipyard cemetery 
Roped and tied around the mast
Bound there for my indiscretions
I am guilty, of everything
Everything that they care to let you see
This ship is more than my woman
I care only to take her safely home
My crew has fallen away
Abandoned their mother, in fear
And now I am alone
Facing the murderous storm
Trying to return
To finally atone
For all of my sins

Serving the one

I have never fallen from on high and never wish to leave my host.  Though others have wings and I have none, I will still fly and yes I will rise, rise.

Knowing all of the secrets of humans, and there are many, but still, no regrets, no pretense, so I still rise

I should rather serve as one of many, than to rule a fetid place such as all of this, so dark and empty. I should not be awash in pride, over things of this world that I never made. I am not the creator but the created.

Oh to be a nail to be hammered, or to be a horse and be ridden into battle.  I long to perform the highest form of service even if giving my life.

Should I be asked, I would spill my life blood for the one who created all things.  For his will is sacred, mine is selfish, and weak.

I will rise, even if I am, thereafter, only to be cut down, where I lay will be a deep pool of my blood upon holy ground.

“Only yesterday I was no different than them, yet I was saved. I am explaining to you the way of life of a people who say every sort of wicked thing about me because I sacrificed their friendship to gain my own soul. I left the dark paths of their duplicity and turned my eyes toward the light where there is salvation, truth, and justice. They have exiled me now from their society, yet I am content. Mankind only exiles the one whose large spirit rebels against injustice and tyranny. He who does not prefer exile to servility is not free in the true and necessary sense of freedom.”  Kahlil Gibran

She faded from view

I watched her in time, die, she faded before my eyes

Now no more future plans nothing but the gray lands

She was done with her life, had paid the toll with strife

How many remember her name, or the infinite shame

Of never knowing why she was, who she was, as do I

She was a complicated creature still a gentle teacher

Giving important lessons to live by, to know her by

Because we will all fade, disappear, even decay

Memories can be our guide until the end of the ride

What is there left but those who are now bereft

Save the final escape into the infinite gray?

I am awash in the madness of the fetid human existence

I've seen those I love pass, for there is no resistance

I know that I spent my life waiting for the day

When I could before my judge finally to him say

Let me be in your tabernacle, where the others dwell

Let me sing to the king of Heaven, not a human Hell

Let me be with those who I love and miss

Who died and reached this place long ago

Let me rise to the heights and there ascend

To know the truth from the one who knows

Let me become a holy shadow

And become a welcome being in your home

“As a newborn baby each of us was helpless and, without the care and kindness we received then, we would not have survived. Because the dying are also unable to help themselves, we should relieve them of discomfort and anxiety, and assist them, as far as we can, to die with composure.”
The Dalai Lama

Oak

Since you tell me what I believe
Then broadly condemn my life
For what you think that I am doing
Never once asking the actual reality
Let me help with the puzzle
It might bring you some relief
I know it won't, honesty is a knife
Cuts deep things that are confusing
With you as flexible as an oak tree
That might lead to troubles
But I don't care
I am a composite creation
Made of scars and lessons
Marked by events unfair
You might think I am a fool
You might think to say it
But if I were you I wouldn't dare

“Think of the fierce energy concentrated in an acorn! You bury it in the ground, and it explodes into an oak!”  George Bernard Shaw 

To my Ladies, Sophia and Katya

I regret many things
My birth, my life, my sins
But never knowing you
My love burned hot within
Never knowing my place
All I had was to see your face
And you gave me love
Over and over and over

ashes

Hope exhausts me, leaving nothing behind
Your love means the most to me, burning inside
I'll never be who you need, and for that I cry
I'll never be the one to give you everything
Never make you so happy that you want to sing
My heart is invisible, you can't see a thing
Even if you try
Try
I am a curse
I am the worst
I am invisible
Living in shadows
Breathing in dust
All the while hoping to be revealed
As ash falling softly upon the ground
Returning at once to earth

I Bid You Adieu

I'll tell you the truth, I'll take that dare
Everyone thinks I'm the village idiot
I'll not try to change their minds
None can guess what I think in the moment
Please understand, I don't really care
You've got no great taste for comedians
As you prefer fools, all of the time
Life with all of you humans has been torment
Farewell, I've had more than my share

Old Man

Ready to get rid of this body my flesh has been fully bled. Getting so old, I can't tell you what I've just thought. Aware of all my fears, but my memory is dead.

My body grows more cold, as my life goes on, and it feels endless. I've arrived at a specific point where I realize that I never wanted to be.

I wander about, my soul ever in doubt, awash in tears.  Here I am living in this master disguise, of one who can live without the other, who made him know so much joy, who made him whole.

You gave me purpose and life, for so many years.  I am manifestly tired of being happy for others, telling them I am happy when I am not.

It makes me wish to shout, that I don't want to be here, a nameless faceless member of the hive, I'd rather be free of the trappings of human life.

I am off duty forever, and am going to sleep.”  George Bernard Shaw

Frozen Morning

Shivering in the cold, you can't control it

Breath leaks out like a thick fog
Hanging there upon a morning crisp
So cold teeth chatter, body quivers
Can't talk a speck, so I wrap tightly

Should have stayed inside, you know it

Walk partner performs a monologue
For the good, for his lies could far outstrip
Every interesting word I might deliver
All I have is rude stories, told politely

My flesh is a trap, I can't outgrow it

“I am alarmed when it happens that I have walked a mile into the woods bodily, without getting there in spirit.”  Henry David Thoreau