Paradise Lost

With families torn by the violence of the storm
The new order imposed by warlords is a disaster
We'd lingered in the sun for so long, so warmed
We'd no idea how bad life could become in war
Our breath stolen from our chest, with our hope
We'd ignored what prophets said as they warned
We allowed our world to be taken, slaughtered
Pride obscured visions of unity of all life forms
We traded for bare necessities, even sustenance
By empty praise from the ignorant and the cruel
We'd lost our way, offered our youth on an altar
We've nothing left to defend, not any more
Because we've given up our future
Let us record in lavish detail our folly
To make certain no one repeats it

Flesh and Circuitry

In the maze of conduits of wires, tubes, technological soup
The faith given is based upon the return upon new dreams
Humans are never satisfied as they hunger for new stimuli
We seem to fear we'll become trapped in some time loop
Where we never escape the boundary of flesh or screens
Each being is spiritual, not physical, change is our war cry
Polished steel, fibers, wires, circuits and more technology
Cannot be the replacement for biological life and existence
However much we might amend our personal mythologies
Our lives are deepened, find worth in constant persistence
Not in any technological advance, nor modern pathology
Our lives are our own, assisted by or ignored by modernity

Consider

Walk into the light, let the horizon be your goal
Go far beyond all the limits you fail to perceive
If you cannot find light, keep moving and trying
Learn the many ways to fulfill your eternal soul
Become the arbiter of the information you receive
Go from reactive to proactive, live before dying
Life is short, true but our limits end upon death
Take every minute and find more in the moment
Time is a construct, it has never drawn breath
Find purpose, reason and hope, never relent
We are meant to live, and in life to learn
Heaven is the reward, not a destination
Eternity exists, it is not something earned
It is meant to be understood by preparation

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not
the same river and he's not the same man.” Heraclitus

We Don't Dance in the Asylum, They Won't Let Us

I'll find a path in this madness, all asylum doors are closed
Wait in a corner of my round room, my release opposed
Forced to wear a mask, for others, and myself
To keep me mouth shut, kept laying upon a shelf
Nothing to say or think, due to medication
My mind emptied and screaming inside
I'm wounded with mental starvation
But this heart needs more
I've nothing to offer, only emotional sacrifice
Left long ago and allowed dreams to entice
I'll dance in darkness, no beat, no rhythm
I've no sound accompaniment
My flesh is payment given to a world
Demanding that punishment

"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to
give birth to a dancing star." Friedrich Nietzsche

Permanent

Some find only bitterness, planting toxic seeds
Some seek only vengeance, hating all beliefs
Then complain over their portion, an ignorant lot
If still alive I might care, but I'm thankfully not
I passed so long ago behind the veil, oh victory
To survive years, burdens to bear, but now
My flesh is gone, faded, tears remain, oh God
What was the purpose of it all, all this mystery
The baptism of rain, are the tears of God that fall
I watch from the gray, I long waited my time
To transcend this place, to overcome the taste
Of failure, of my flesh, passing into spirit
I'm ready, I'm waiting, as nothing survives
It changes form, a manifest transformation
From temporary into the permanent form
Now into forever, from darkness to light

Let my spirit rise, in sweet ascent
Let my flesh pass, as a message sent
Nothing lasts forever, I give up control
Forever consists of spirit and soul
 

Round Room Rantings

I think I reached the end, not like before, not again
My dreams are gone but the nightmares still remain
The room they've put me in, well it has no corners
Edges are soft, emergency call box is out of order
They say I can't keep silent, or I'm being too quiet
But it's my life, if I'm insane, just keep that private
In my existence, there's only darkness and the rain
I'm aware your views, yes, in your eyes I'm a stain
But DNA and experiences don't equal my being
So think whatever you like, I'll not scream
Just to be what you want me to do or be

Run With Me, Run Into The Mist

The time for love is right now, grasp it before it is gone
Take my hand and run with me, into the fields of dawn
You are my only love, only dream, I long for your time
Your smile spawns hope, into my heart and my mind
Please see my soul, open to your eyes alone, here it is
Take my hand and flee with me, run into the mist
For this world is growing silent with frozen hearts
Life is cold, with my flesh a mass of scars
In your arms I find warmth, let us again reminisce 

“I was made and meant to look for you and wait for you
and become yours forever.”               Robert Browning

Reflection: A Cracked Mirror

All of time is fleeting, sinking like a lead bottomed ship
Existence troubled by thinking, knowing that I'm a being
Who has shed his past, present and future, and convinced
There's only a moment, only this thought that I've in me
There is nothing beyond now, nothing beyond my reach
Digging deeply into ego, with more to learn than to teach
No solipsistic minute in me, but in selfishness I find glee
And then I realize, I am a vessel with no value, emptied
Delving into fathoms without a guide, a rejected seed
I've no reflection in a mirror, regrets inspired by me
I see nothing, I've become invisible, I'm made toxic
I'm hidden in the shadows and my vision is myopic
The darkness has swallowed me, harrowing me
The cracked mirror is empty, like my mind
Lost in my vanity, but is it by my design?

Just Live

He spoke the words, "Just live."
As the prophet spoke aloud, the people shook in fear
The words were not frightening, but were still truth
As the people saw their future, bringing them tears
Asking why joy was a moment reserved for youth
A time fleeting, as none could turn back the years
Sorrow, aging followed, trust unsupported by proof
So the people asked themselves, repeatedly
Why should I endure, if the rest of life is decay
Why should one bother, if all that is left is pain
What is life, if the sorrows grow increasingly?
It doesn't matter, the prophet said, the key to life
Is to live. Just live. It is all there is.
Find a purpose, exist, and hope
Unceasingly

"To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become
presence, means accepting the risk of absence.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Being, Defending

There is hope and light
There's darkness and night
I believe in trying to find joy
As much as anyone might
I realize too
After years of searching
Perhaps I'm a fool,
Or I'm naive, or ignorant
My soul is a fire,
A fire for warmth

But also, as fuel for anger
As it burns me, and causing rage
I must give in or leave the world
An anger can't be quenched
My soul needs peace
I remember that all that I need
Are within reach, available to me
Are love, kindness, hope and joy
I must do the things in my life
To make them happen
I must lift others up
Be the voice of the voicelesss

Give choice to the choiceless
I must be a defender
So I must surrender
And let my ego go free
Free to fade into the gray
Free from me, able to fly
Free from rage
And at peace

“The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be
skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended.” Frédéric Bastiat

The Harvest is Ready, So am I

The flesh cloak becomes tattered and ripped at the edges
The soul I wear is whole, impervious to life's offenses
My being is indivisible, flesh and soul connected
Time is temporary, I'm aware there's work left
Fields are ready for harvest, heavy with seed
One life may seem to not be enough
But I am ready
My flesh will fade away and age
But I've been created for this day
For all of the work still to be done
All work needing completion
Will be complete
If my soul exists forever
I will be in his service
In the fields of the earth
And across the stars
In our fragile hearts, minds, and dreams
Awaken dreamer, awaken my soul
It is again time to live, at last
Time to awaken from sleep
To finally be restored
Ready to forgive
Ready to ascend

Our Mind Pilot

Our mind is a vessel, allowing us to fly across the galaxy
Our flesh becomes ever more fragile, our sanity atrophies
We discover our being will enter such a perfect entropy
How the intricate universe outside of our planet grows
The moment we close our eyes, we become the master
There miracles and catastrophes form a confluent flow
Our dreams take us places, as we escape every disaster
Far beyond the fields and lands that we now know
Until we wake, we linger, we've found new worlds
Delving the mysteries and fathoms of imagination
We have a way to escape life's misery and rage
In sleep we are the central actor, director and stage

Attachment lost

I gave up all my deep attachments
By doing so I have given up fear
I had chosen this path I'm upon
And all my tears, scars and flaws
Mean that I'm alive and feeling
Made of clay and spark, I exist
Standing before life, a mirror
A light inside me burning hot
A greater new hope spawns
Giving up everything is the key
As I give up, it leads to healing
I stand ready before the void
I've become free and refuse despair
And as I gaze into existence
I've chosen to be redeemed
In a world that doesn't care
But I do, and I will

Stare Into the Dark Clouds

As a cold rain falls in April
I stare out into darkest clouds
And I wonder my place here
Insomniac, fully wakeful
Losing my dreams
I'm full of doubt
I shiver
And no one draws near
But I can't care any more
Life is temporary
I'll never be restored
As I watch quietly
I truly know
The decay will happen
As flesh fails, silently
The meat falls from bone
With Azrael's chilling laugh
I will gaze into forever
With eternity enthroned
And when ready
I"ll be dispatched
And no one anywhere
Will notice or even care
And that is the way it goes

Between Life and Death

Should no one care, I will still have spoken
Should I be silent, my thought will still exist
The flesh passes by, but time is a construct
All roads converge, around the path chosen
A future unwritten, the weed that persists
The lives composed of clay being corrupt
Every single thing we do, leaves an impact
The world we build, is absurd, an abstract
One thing is known, we long to be renewed
In a world of madness, condemned to doom
We long for logic, but it escapes our gaze
We long for love, instead we find rage
Oh how eternity beckons, with a kiss
Azrael is dutiful, and reads his list
Elysium waits, and we are ready
With a kiss, life turned deadly

Nightmare

At a birth, we will all acknowledge life as amazing
We've witnessed a hopeful, beautiful miracle
In the flash and spark of lights, we become alive
But we watch as life turns ignorant spectacle
By bread, circus, sex and food, we feed a need
In pleasure, not dreams, we find contentment
Given drugs to wake or sleep, to have sex
Or even to be alive in the moment
This is not life, it is a nightmare
One created by our own addictions
Dreams are lost and we are broken
We embrace the victim-hood
Of all of our afflictions
There is nothing we wouldn't do
To relieve our self inflicted torment
If only for the moment, a minute passing
And for pittance, we'd sell our soul
Our souls, for a temporary pleasure
In exchange for a life everlasting

34 years and 1 month later

I never knew life could be good before I met you
It was painful, torturous, no moments of healing
Did my time, barely survived, I learned the truth
Loving you was my life's release, I was believing
You shared my life, and your love was my proof
Evidence gathered, overwhelming all I perceived
You broke the rules I'd lived by, said life is good
Thanks, 34 years and 1 month since redemption
I'm not perfect, in ways yes I am still a child
What you did led me to true ascension
In your love I am tamed, but still wild

"I wanted excitement and danger and the chance
to sacrifice myself for my love.”        Leo Tolstoy

Alone

This world offers what will not make me whole
Temptation beggars my soul, then steals control
Wanted so much more, wanting a person to adore
Without you in my life, my being's been ignored
What purpose could it serve to deplete my reserve
To find that the rewards of life are well deserved
In this world I'm considered an unworthy fool
But this world is filled with many who are cruel
And they are the judge, the jury and the people
My case is ended, I'm guilty as charged
It is all quite perfect, all quite legal
Let me serve my sentence
I am finished, nothing remains
Forever alone, I know I'll go insane

Unrealized

In your eyes I saw a future, those children that we created
I lost myself in the dream of being with you, I was elated
But life doesn't offer return upon promises left unfulfilled
As I pondered the reasons why, somehow I had to rebuild
A dream led me down a path that could never be realized
I expected hope and completion, yet, I was surprised
No home, no children, no pets, no, I'd have no family
My dreams had turned out to be false imaginings
I'd have to live, without creating my own legacy
And then I'll walk my path alone, for the future
As I realize what I've unrealized, thereafter

“The happy have whole days,
and those they choose.
The unhappy have but hours,
and those they lose.”
                         Colley Cibber

Agony

On this, your wedding day, I can see you are glad
Don't know why it matters but I've needed to say
We never made it from friend to any sort of lover
I know you are happy, and I'm so happy for you
Tears falling on my face don't mean I'm sad
I knew you waited for him, not for any other
I know, you made the best choice, I really do
My future is empty without the hope of you
And I want you to live the best life you can
If you need to never see me again, I want that
Even if it guts me like a fish, writhing in agony
So have a great life, I love you, farewell
And I'll just go back to Hell.

For my love

You loved the loveless
You helped the helpless
Brought hope to the hopeless
Gave a voice to the voiceless
Even when you're wounded
You've helped others heal
Your center of love is far away
A great distance from human realms
This world could fall apart
Like a house of cards
Should you have to leave
And you could at any time
I'd collapse as well
But whatever has happened
You are with me still
You're the one
Who balanced out the evil
You're the one who paid my cost
However high the bill
I promise you
You've moved me all 35 years
You move me, continuing to do so
As we walk hand in hand, together
At last I know you understand
Every single thing I've been through
And what I still have to go through
So I will remain in your presence
Forever with you, forever amen

Moral Quicksand

This disaster that I've created
The end curtain of the drama
For I've become my own demon
In the midst of a sort of quicksand
In my own moral failures, I sink
Reaping my own life's consequences
Wanting what I can't have, I scream
Inside my head, all the voices sing
It does not matter what I think
Days are too long, night so serene
My imagination births vile offspring
Into the madness, I'm pulled down
My screams can be easily heard
Like the voices inside, they are loud
My physical body will not be found
My conscience begins to haunt
No one should ever worry
In this state no tears are allowed
I've been lost for far too long
And I can never come home
Even if that is what I want

"Vanity is the quicksand of reason."  George Sand

I know I'm wrong

No, I won't forgive myself for what I did
I know you can't do it either, I was wrong
I had spent my life wanting something else
Rather than being happy with what I have
Over time I became bitter, my hope is gone
And now, as desert dust covers everything
The extreme heat dries my throat, I cough
I know my flesh is dying, I want to say
I was the one being wrong, I'm ashamed
So what now? Just saying I am done
And I am sorry, very sorry

Black Roses, Dying but Beautiful

The mercy you ask from me, was never extended to me
Same goes for the love that you offer me now
As I waited long ago, my hope was killed
 I have spent decades praying without relief
I need to be comforted or to be redeemed
My heart beats sorrow, distilled
This act of grace you desire in me
Like dead black roses, is still beautiful
But I can't fulfill it, nor can I help you
I know it will fail me somehow
Not in my anger or petty grudges
Because I know the truth, I know
The emptiness in my heart
It was long ago created by you
And now, in this place of hurt
I watch it as it grows

Unfair endings

I watched, gazing inward, as the joy of life left your eyes
Heard you crying, praying to be released, but were denied
And then you began to walk into the gray realms of death
Unliving but not dead, you chose a path, gave up all breath
Then I realized that wanting you to stay would be wrong
Because everything I loved that you were, was now gone
The gray realms embraces all, no walls to keep us out
Joy allows us to ascend, finding hope, answering doubt
I hope you are happy, and someday I'll see you again
Without pain, without sorrow, and without stain

The Madness of the Somme

Upon July 1, 1916 the first day, Battle of the Somme
The British Army suffered a worst day in its existence
Counting all events of its illustrious and storied past
Losing a small city of humans, losing 19,240 men
But true loss and awareness of tragedy happens
Upon an individual and family level, not the army
In war's mania, a madness, a drama, and tragedy
Leaders and state only feel absence of use
Due to an inability to spend the lives again
Use of those lives stopped due to war's course
Death is forever and wounds can be permanent
To be killed might actually be a form of relief
However grievous to the future of a soldier
Physical injury and PTSD are hard to endure
Dying an ending, an escape from the present

“This is what is called dying for your country, but it is actually
selling your soul to a few profiteers for a shilling, and being
massacred to satisfy their selfish purposes. And they call it
                                    WAR--and a legitimate thing at that." 

        Private Arthur Wrench HQ, 154th Brigade, 51st Division

Controlled by our Puppet Masters

One by one, we lost our dreams
We've lost our rights, all our hope
As we all wait for our master's to act
We're enslaved, forced to live as sheep
Controlled by terror
That engineered beliefs
The puppet masters train us to attack
Theft of our dreams their primary task
And soon enough, they shall succeed
We'll never again know how to dream
Never again, but perhaps we never did
They'll rule by violence
And we'll watch those acts
Such things entertains us
Spectacle has no cost
But our heart and hope
Dreams are forfeited
And all of them are lost
We have lost our ability to dream
And next, we'll never again sleep
For it requires a contented heart
And innocence, and peace
With no secrets to keep

Hubris & The Crash

Our flight had promise of the greatest worth
The future had been delayed, and even worse
We'd arrived at terminus, a final destination
Finding a future but one of pure emptiness
With not one single path forward
Trapped in an emotional starvation
We struggled for survival at best
We sought safety with nothing left
To dream is the highest aspiration
If we imagine our world in ascent
With our unleashed imaginations
As we watch the catastrophes happen
Our species has entered final descent
And we know we will never rise again
For our hubris has guaranteed our fall
Our abject ignorance has led to shame
When nothing like hope exists
Or if nothing good remains
Is it extinction or exhaustion
Or is it both
Do we persist, or twist
As we sway in the wind

Staring Into The Eternal's Gaze

As you stare into the Eternal's gaze, be certain not to blink
If your fear becomes manifest, ignore all lifeless reasoning
Suggesting that all you know, all that you could ever want
Will lead you to oblivion, an empty void of all you think
But there is a mystery that lives and it keeps deepening
Should you flinch and turn away, the results will haunt
With no staircase to ascend and no ladder reaching
You must find your way and the answers do exist
Heaven is immense, beyond the mind's measure
There, in absolute perfection, Elysium stands
Life has long been teaching us to deny fate
To achieve the heights of Heaven
You must understand
Solve the eternal riddle
And enter that final gate
Leading you the way to forever
Where you will find a promised land

“You have lost your reason and taken the wrong path. You have taken lies for
truth, and hideousness for beauty. You would marvel if, owing to strange events
of some sorts, frogs and lizards suddenly grew on apple and orange trees instead
of fruit, or if roses began to smell like a sweating horse; so I marvel at you who
exchange heaven for earth. I don't want to understand you.”   Anton Chekhov

Rise

In a world where madness is viewed as genius
What right have you ever had to call me insane
My brain leaks, my eyes pour rain from them
Life is a complex composite of flesh
And the flesh will be my tomb
A chaos theory state, spirit sleeps dreamless
Sorrows of existence then allows fear to reign
However you try, you can't enter a state of zen
Manacle your wrists, refuse to leave the womb
Protest the offerings, as all roads lead to doom
As such, you might linger in the fascination
Of life's false deep emotional devastation
Or you can finally rise like never before
You must let freedom burn in your core
Choose to live, to love and to remember
No one escapes life, our exit in December
The cold and final, quickly passing
In exchange, for a dream lasting
For Elysium is waiting

(Art by Jean Delville)

The Damned?

By razor wire I hung, indecision and fear trapped me there
My flesh was ripped to shreds, but my pain was emotional
Broken inside, knowing I live in a world that did not care
I'd never committed the crime making me condemned
If life is absurd, and it is, our time is spent on nothing
And after all the pain, it seems truly unfair
But one must choose their path
With this life make a final stand
I've lived in a fashion allowing me to believe
But to all others, I was a fool
I was a liar deserving to be damned
If in their eyes I would be, I understand
But they don't know what I have
So have I embraced oblivion
Or will I inherit everything
Have I found perfect diamonds
Or  a planet of grains of sand
A king of the universe
Or a wanderer cursed
To endlessly walk
In an apocalyptic wasteland?

“What can an eternity of damnation matter to someone
                            who has felt, if only for a second, the infinity of delight?”                      

                                                          Charles Baudelaire

That Moment Everything Changed

Some called it our awakening
Others said it was our doom
Some were ashamed, some proud
Did you see it? were you there?
Did you see what happened
A moment foretold of destiny
A future never seemed so clear
A past never mattered less
I was there and stood at the chasm
Saw the rifts rising above
Separating us from our legacy
There is nothing that was so near
It was no longer if we go, but how
And then we entered the future
All our beliefs were confirmed
Along with all of our fears
The end now called
It was beckoning
Come forward
With no uncertain terms
We'd be reunited with the lost
Our species made whole
Once again, forever to thrive
Made anew
Our lifeforms were restored
By the hope offered
By a new life
We found a purpose
And so much more

I Watched the Sky

I watched the sky

All I'd ever wished for
Made the stars shine

Doing nothing more
Yesterday's lights
Impossible to restore
New but missing
Gone but present

A core burning
My eyes crying

I know, I know

Revealing a path
Inside me
Gone but present
Heavy breathing
Time for the wrath

Question mark...?

Of God
Revealed

Now is it the time
Of my folly or my
Time to die?

The Spilled Chalice of Love

My heart would bleed all my love, flesh and bones
For our love was a fortress, impregnable, invincible
The marriage was a forest fire, fiercely ever burning
Knowing if my flesh would pass, the love would last
But in the dark I stare out at the fallen walls of stone
I see the burnt remnants of a pristine forest scene
Living what my darkest fears could be, I do know
The worst pain isn't loss but being cold and alone
Asleep in the flesh, and dead inside my soul
I have prayers but I've been through Hell
What more could be taken, I don't know
But I'm broken, no longer whole
There's nothing left to take
Nor promises to make
Je suis fini, je suis fini
Pas plus s'il vous plaît
I'm so done
So very done
All hope is gone
And now, I've nothing left
And I have even less to give

“We fight it down, and we live it down, or we bear it bravely well,
But the best men die of a broken heart for the things they cannot tell.”

                                                                                    Henry Lawson

A Somber King

A great king deeply grieved upon his golden throne
He'd kept watch as the young kingdoms approached
His people had grown childless, the situation averse
His empire's greatest walls were decaying and old
This ancient race lost purpose and deserved reproach
The surging numbers of the invaders became a curse
The empire's legacy of victories now meant nothing
It took the empire many great generations to grow
They'd fallen in but one month and lost everything
The ancient race died without glory, in the slaughter
In dying, they took treasures and their culture's soul
And to be forgotten, and forsaken in their future

Blind, Empty or Loving the Attention?

Swimming with sharks as bad boys break your heart
You seem to love the attention, despite visible scars
The most fun you have is a roller coast of emotion
Not sure if what I see is from madness or devotion
Surrender inside, aim your mental focus on hope
Cast away fears and dreams, pray you don't choke
If there's nothing, you have nothing to lose
The end is here, you're going to have to choose
Do you want the consequences, are you blind
Do you not see the hurt, are you empty inside?

Doubt rises inside

The sky is the limit, but only if
We can somehow reach it
With no safety net, or hope
Nothing will catch our fall
I have wings
But they are broken
In the final count
I know I won't be chosen
That is fine by me
Yes I knew the rules
Live for the moment
But life can be cruel
There's nothing that I can do
Not about that
Or for most things
So I doubt
By staring into the abyss
Being consumed by the void
Trapped in the Eternal's gaze
I become aware
Whatever I believe
I might never see the day
That it will never come
When forgiveness is there
To release me
To redeem me
Let me be free
I am ready
For anything
Please let me be free

Rise, at last, Breathe and Live

If humans are able to grow their own clones
From stem cells, DNA material, test tubes
Will we consider them to be worthy of life
If they are composed of blood and bones
Composites of flesh, with thought and breath
Or will they be formulated for purpose
And their minds all made to be dull
To serve as living spare parts or as servants
Would we kill them to harvest their organs
Would their possessing of intelligent life
Require the rest of us to give them rights
Could we treat them abusively with impunity
Would they have the status of less deserving
Viewed as having souls that are empty
In order to use their parts, and their service
Would they become a composite of flesh
Human cells and organs replaced often
So that we might forever have life?

Waves

If one were to exist in a world without research
Without academic inquiry or a new technology
If all intellectual fields of science were forbidden
It'd make the act of gathering knowledge criminal
Would people be guided by mythology or astrology
Would all higher research then need to be hidden
The world would become foolish, dull, and juvenile
With questions without answer, no cure for cancer
To live our small lives, ignorant to reach for more
To live without meeting the intellectual potential
Would there still be questions burning in our core
With no phones, no computers, no radios or flight
No film, music or the lights to brighten the night
Would we have any means to express ourselves
Or have a chance to ascend beyond savagery
Or would we just exist, ignorant and blissful
Never thinking, our dreams made arbitrary
Nothing inside us wanting to soar

Old Child

I was so old when born, a child who could already retire
I'm a fool for the sake of it, not my youth, or being a liar
I've entered the asylum, not for a medical need, but spite
I've watched as a day's minutes pass, lazily into the night
Staff invites me in to drink water and take pills of delight
I don't want to do it but they'll hold back my sustenance 
So I break the monotony of everything painted white
Staring at the ceiling, gaze at stars, listen, yeah I try
There's nothing for me, dialogue so dull that I die
Time for me to walk the yard as predators cry
There is nothing for me, in this stupid circle
Yes I have tried, so stop saying I don't
And yes, I will always fail. ALWAYS
Without hope or mercy, or of you
Or anyone or anything
I'm trapped here inside
I'm a prisoner in this jail
In a prison of my mind