Monday, August 31, 2020

wouldn't do

Sniffing glue
And dropping acid
Huffing gas
Still no panic
The world still spins
I'm still here
But my life is shit
Nothing tragic
Just a few brain cells
Snuff out my feeling
I don't want to die
But living costs too much
You never loved me enough
Should just read a comic
Sit back and feel the razor cut
Across my wrist
To feel anything, that is
So starting round two
And what else can I do
To myself, only myself
Short of killing myself
With nothing left
I know what to do
Do something that you wouldn't do


Sunday, August 30, 2020

Ignore them at your own peril


Laying hidden in the shadows
Their feet stick out into the light
Our soul should ache seeing them
To ignore them is at our own peril
For we know
In a different time or a different life
Our dreams wouldn't reach same horizons
Survival shouldn't be so hard, we've become feral
We care less for the fallen, than for our lost time
And we'll be treated thus
When our time is come

Saturday, August 29, 2020

a world made of plastic

bring out the eyes
enlarge the breasts
our tummies tucked
and fat sucked
with biceps enhanced
I want to be the best
with perfection pursued
so many millions
wasted upon ego
vanity an altar
Upon which we burn
plastic people and parts
skin replaced without scars
plastic instead of flesh
a foreign invader
behind the chest
every day spent
every breath meant
I demand perfect
if I have to destroy me
to achieve it
without regrets


Friday, August 28, 2020

A different view

When I'd rather be dead
From my own hand or other
Slitting my throat or gunfire
Or even a pillow that smothers
I am of my own views
My thoughts are red
And indelible
Forever
Inexorable
Immutable
And permanent
One word from you
Could change my world
If only
You were to say it
Just say
You want me to stay
And I will
Otherwise
I'd rather be killed
Than wait for noting
Or love disguised
As something less moving
No masks please
No masquerade
Just say stay
Please
Or I'll move on


Thursday, August 27, 2020

Loss

If one should eat meat that choice requires the death of a living being. Death has consequences for both the life lost and the human eating it.

Ask yourself, if every life that has been lost for our hunger is morally taken, what about the lives these creatures were they allowed to have led before the slaughter?

If you're content with those circumstances, then ask, how can we be content with the lives lost that end up being wasted and have no benefit to either the one eating, or the one dying?

We should make every effort to place these lives upon the altar, if they are to be sacrificed, so that we do not lose what they've given.  If not how can we ever be forgiven?

"I estimate that about 32 billion pounds of saleable meat
came from the approximately 40 billion pounds of carcasses.
Assuming microbiological spoilage at packing plants to be
. 025%, one pound per 4,000 pounds finished product, there
would be 8,000,000 pounds lost to spoilage."

- Blaine B. Breidenstein

“But for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born into the world to enjoy.”
― Plutarch

For further consideration:



Note:  I eat meat, but I try to eat less than I used to, and I admire vegetarians who can remain true to their views.  I've spent over 2 years in my life as a vegetarian and found it difficult to adhere to.

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Dear God

Dear God
It says in your words
Found in the Holy Bible
I am supposed to pray unceasingly
So, if you might
I beg you to please
Count the times I asked
How often have you answered
Any of those prayers
Do you wonder why I keep trying
Do you wonder what I am doing
Do you even care?
Is it a useless task?
What is the difference between faith
And a deterministic destiny or fate?
Why should I try
In the end I'll still die
And I wonder
Will you cry for me in that place
I long to see behind your mask
Dear God
I am not asking for much
Just safety for my family
My friends and my cats
For you to give them love
But what's enough
Is there more I could do?
Because I keep getting a busy signal
When I keep calling you


Tuesday, August 25, 2020

A Wall Inside

If I build a wall
If I make a barrier
Is it that I fear you
Or is it that
I don't want your presence
In my life
If I say you should go
Is it that I am a fiend
A bad friend
Or I prefer your absence
You are a knife
A blade to my vein
Because whatever you think
I know what it is that I want
And it is different
Than anything you'll believe
And what does that matter
Anyway
You'll receive and believe
And I'll be the villain
Are you the real one
I'm not sure
I'm certain there is a future
Where I'll know
Just understand
I know the difference
And you won't change me
Inside


Monday, August 24, 2020

The Pulse

We are awake to the pulse
Knowing it might never return
We feel the power in the moment
And from there we burn
Waiting for the chance
To change all we know
Waiting to love each other
By the night's remnant glow


Screaming

My soul is alive
But my flesh is dead
I long to escape the pain
But have no hope instead
I am breaking
I am ashamed
My life is a cancer
My emotions are a stain
Nothing left
Bleeding black
No escape
From your attack


Sunday, August 23, 2020

Dark Watch

I watch from above, ever vigilant
Waiting upon the cathedral's spine
The world below so ugly and fetid
Crime and ignorance runs rampant
The time bomb ticking, waiting
When I act the world will notice
While flesh is fragile I am ready
To act against injustice necessary
It is worthy it is not vengeance
Dangerous yes but justice's needed
Order requires extreme prejudice
Acts by others cannot weaken me
My hand will be quick, and sure
And my life will be redeemed


Saturday, August 22, 2020

Reaching

To some the circumstance of the human race is weaknesses
We seek to eat all to fill our gullet, drink to numb our brains
We choose the hemp, the opiates and psychedelic sequence
We should be honest, never pretend to have false remorse
This life is our own, choices and consequences well earned
We refuse our responsibility, each relationship ends in divorce
We are alive to our failures, rather than embracing them
Acknowledge they exist while reaching towards the horizon

Friday, August 21, 2020

I don't worry for tomorrow

There'll come a day
When we think about the present
Being aware and able
To be good for good's sake
Be generous for generosity's sake
And never have to pretend
Not be worried
I don't worry about the future
I can't remember humanity's past
I've watch the inhumane ways we live
We've taken this world to the butcher
And we've portioned the meat to last
But will our world ever forgive
The sins we've committed
I sorrow
I grieve
I pray for a world
That can live beyond its vision
I long for a tomorrow
That can for once be
More than the hunger at the moment
Rise above the division
Better than the indecision our leaders have shown


“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” 
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Thursday, August 20, 2020

Accidental Implantation


Humanity is a species with many questions without answers. Is it even possible that we have everything we know that we need, everything we want, and even learn what we don't know that we need?  Is it possible that we can rise above the framework of the human being, are we a sort of seed, growing, building, an organic machine? Were we planted on earth, only for us to be moved by the forces of nature, being ignored by all knowing Gods, upon this single planet but not throughout the galaxy?  Is everything we believe a random collection of superstitions? Are we bound to crash and burn, as children of leisure, seekers of pleasure and desire? Are we deficit in cognition?


Filled with fears and ambitions, are humans alive by accident? If so does sin actually exist? Are we life forms created by chance? If so do we owe any God contrition? This world is mysterious, our existence a great dance. We've only one life to find out whether the purpose of life is some spurious happenstance, as if we've been planted only as one transplants a seed or grafts one plant to another. Are we thus born children without a mother?  Shall we endeavor, or seek to sleep forever? Do we even matter, painted upon the great canvas of the creator's brush.


“Monsters exist, but they are too few in number to be truly dangerous. More dangerous are the common men, the functionaries ready to believe and to act without asking questions.”   Primo Levi



Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Change

We know how to kill each other brilliantly
How can this generation know differently
We send the finest of their numbers off to fight
They've been told to achieve through violence
They've been told they are bodies in a fire
The pyre of society is one we need to light
With the bonfire we'll need to be forgiven
May we finally enter a metamorphosis
Where all we know is erased,
Our bodies changed
Our hearts made soft
Forgiving not hating
May peace and innocence live
And hurt and brokenness die


Tuesday, August 18, 2020

The Collapse Cycle


In the slide from Republic form of governance to that of the Empire
The burden of civilization was placed upon others
Not the citizens, not leadership, but slaves
After the empire employed and exhausted their citizenry as soldiers
The empire needed to replace the laborer with the slave
The slaves were used for more and more roles in this society
When there was peace they trained their slaves
To fight each other in the arenas for the prize of freedom
The gladiators would spill blood upon the sand
After years of training, dying, suffering
The trained slave warriors would revolt, it was inevitable
For the Romans had talents for war and they knew their trade
When they'd faced enough losing comrades
In the Romans' violent games
The slaves would wield the martial skills
Taught to them by their masters
And the masters would be killed, all the same
As well as the supporters of the violent games
When the rebellion was stopped


There was no mercy shown to the fallen or their families
In fact, the survivors were tortured
Slaughtered as if a sport, to set an example
Before long the future generations would wonder
How could anyone think this system is fair
Yes Rome was great
But Rome collapsed from two factors
Moral depravity and so called Barbarians
Unhappy with the meagre scraps of food that Rome was content to give
The collapse would happen for there is a sort of gravity
It happens to every empire, even modern ones
Every death paid by the people is one life lost too many


Monday, August 17, 2020

Absurdity is the Rule

We are told that we must believe
But we swim in existence's chaos
Know truth, know that truth is madness
The days light turns to the gloaming
How can we ever accurately perceive
When in others there is no pathos
And we prefer silence and absence
The world is loud, as if screaming a warning


“I don't do drugs. I am drugs.”  Salvador Dali

“There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.”  Salvador Dalí

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Under our Watch


This modern life offers great opportunities, most good but some bad, and with all that, we are still about to allow something vile.  If we do not act, the elephant, a large land mammal, will go extinct. This should be our highest charge, to save those creatures we have the ability to save. Saying that they will be lost isn't from the ability to predict.  It comes from the most basic vision. We cannot give in to the traders, those hungry for ivory, or to take the land upon which they live.  We might as well live in caves, if we ignore the slaughter.  Wildlife sacrificed upon an altar, of being reticent to save the wild, and ignorance for the greater cause.  Saving the life of those less able to save themselves.

Support the World Wildlife Fund


Saturday, August 15, 2020

Even though

There is this zone
Some call it being friends
Some call it being alone
Because I'd take a bullet for you
Take a beating to my bones
I'd take the blame you earned and still
I'd never ask for your help
I'd never admit defeat
Since you don't take prisoners
And are a shitty listener
I love you but what does that even mean
You need to be comforted from the challenge
Of the world that you created and wrought
It was you who started the fight
You asked for help to win
Your wars
That should never have been fought


"... This ain't a scrap, fellows. It's murder, an' we ought to stop it."

But no one stopped it, and he was glad, punching on wearily with his one arm, battering away at a bloody something before him that was not a face but a horror, an oscillating, hideous, gibbering, nameless thing that persisted before his wavering vision and would not go away. And he punched on and on, slower and slower, as the last shreds of vitality oozed from him, through centuries and eons and enormous lapses of time, until, in a dim way, he became aware that the nameless thing was sinking, slowly sinking down to the rough board-planking of the bridge....”  Jack London

Friday, August 14, 2020

Aliens


In the ancient world the way to signal an alarm over distance, or a message of sorts, was to set a fire to a pyre or wood stacked for burning upon the tallest of mountain tops.  For miles the burning flame was sending a message, whether the message was prepare for war soon, the king is dead, or even expect to receive a messenger from the king, these emergency messages could forestall doom.

In the deep of space, earth seem surrounded by darkness, and the human race can feel alone. But what if our ability to understand messages sent from a distance are the equivalent of email in an age of fire atop the mountain.  Perhaps all of our eyes to the skies are watching a message being transferred to our land, and we haven't a moment of thought that can understand.

Thursday, August 13, 2020

streets

Searching for the next high
Her kids were doing what they were taught
She'd been abandoned and raped
Unready to fight the battle she fought
She didn't mean to teach them the streets
But it was all she knew
All she was able to do
Every day walking the city on their tired feet
Each generation leans upon the lessons
Lived by the generation before
The role model teaches through impressions
Personal behavior, not words, are the door
They will pass through
Life is more than the drugs they find
Life is a way to live in your mind


Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Think, Think, Think

Some think mankind never landed on the moon.  Others think that JFK's brain is in a jar, and not as a specimen but still thinking. Think about the stories you believe in, are they real? Your preference for the lie of the story rather than the truth of the facts, makes you vulnerable to thinking only your version of truth matters.  Or maybe you let others think for you, and you've stopped thinking at all.  And the truth is shattered, for all to see.

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Renew

Pawn takes Queen, Knight takes Rook
With a fierce temperment and outlook
Each and every day goes without fanfare
Life is selfish, even as life is sharing
As people live so too do people die
Adults grow weary, and children cry
Life offers no generosity or dispensations
As the world faces emotional starvation
If we invest our lives the return is more
We burn fuel until we empty our core
Existence beggars the sleeping dreams
As living comes apart at the seams
There is only life, so sing, rejoice
Death offers no alternative choice
To taste of the cup one final time
Let me renew once again, or let me die


Monday, August 10, 2020

How Should I Know?

How should I know when or if you agree
What is to be or not to be, I'm without a clue
What is empty, what is full I haven't a view
Because you promise answers
But offer only questions that can't be asked
You offer the opportunity to love without return
I could laugh but you might hold it against me
Again


Sunday, August 9, 2020

Dream's Gateways


The winds flow down the mountain edge
Pushing the mist back from the peak
Human flesh is weak, fragile, soft
As a wanderer attempts to seek
The answers of life without secrets
A walk down leads to a desire for sleep
And in sleep there is only a gateway
To discovering the power of dream

“The mountain veiled in mist is not a hill; an 
oak tree in the rain is not a weeping willow.” Khalil Gibran

Saturday, August 8, 2020

A part of the organism

The danger of idolatry
Is that we mistake the voice
Of creation 
As that of the creator
We focus upon the created
But it is only by the hand
Of the one
How beautiful is the earth
It provides along with the sun
Both have the power
To let us live, or let us die
And millions arrive via birth
Upon the day
We lose many per hour
We are part of nature
However we might abuse it
We breathe the oxygen released
And give back carbon freely
Do we see ourselves as conquerors
Or as part of the system
Are we aliens to our mother
Our planet gave us birth
So do we help it feed
Or are we the curse
Who will kill her
And before long
All of us as well?

For a perspective read:



Friday, August 7, 2020

Night Train

Riding on a train, going across country
The sleeper cars all full
Filled with dreamers and sleepers
Only the sleepless walked the halls at night
Some were drunk and sultry
Others mourning life unfulfilled
Some called for the reaper
Never in life having acquiesced
To the plain and bold facts
That life hasn't a promise
That the future makes no guarantees
Only journeys taken
Only vows breaking
The few who finish
Are neither sinners nor saints
They simply endured
Arriving at terminus
Where nothing remained


Thursday, August 6, 2020

After the Mist

Late Fall a hard freeze, grass is brittle with frost
Winter will be here soon, survival is imperative
Feed the young, protect the herd from hunters
In that moment all basic fears come to the fore
They'll search for trees, high grass, and shadows
The elders know, without action all will be lost
A line between death and life is narrow, delicate
Each Winter brings a reduction of the herd numbers
As the leader male's call is a low growl that implores
The stragglers catch up, as the herd tries to follow


“The elk that you glimpse in the summer, those at the
 forest edge, are survivors of winter, only the strongest." 

Craig Childs

Storms of Life



I exist and I am the result of a storm. For those who say nice things about storms, and their necessity, understand that people are broken by storms. Lives are lost. Hope is stolen. Our flesh is weak and we are faced by horrible decisions. Storms are dangerous, unplanned, and at times inescapable. Rather than placing a happy face on them, lets just say that they exist, and they are dangerous. Anything else is blather.  Not that it matters.


Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Absurdity

To be told I fail at understanding people
Isn't actually a surprise, or worrisome thing.
I know certain things aren't meant to be understood
And to actually know isn't everything.
All I want is to go from experience to experience
Being honest and open.
That might not happen, and I might fall
But I won't make or break my life by hoping.
It is absurd to assume what life should be
It doesn't come from you and not from me.


“Once there was a crow, it flew from the field to the hill, from hedge to hedge, and lived its life. Then it died and rotted away. -What's the sense in it? There just ISN'T any!”  Maxim Gorky

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Me

Into the storm we stare
As all who are wise flee
My hard focus unbroken
It isn't that I am unaware
It isn't that I love misery
I've desires unspoken
But I don't want to die
I don't need to be free
I don't need comfort
I only need to be me
Black clouds following
I don't care
I am unable to be
Anything other than me

















“To hatch a crow, a black rainbow
Bent in emptiness
over emptiness
But flying” 
― Ted Hughes

Monday, August 3, 2020

No more please, I'm full

I miss you so much
My heart skips beats
Causing me fears or dreams
Of having an attack, at least
That might reunite me with you
Don't you know I never recovered
After your body was discovered
I believe I'll see you again
But in the meantime
I can't think
Too hard to decide
But I can't commit suicide
At least I know that
I've gone through enough
And refuse to put a dagger in the back
Of all I love and who I most respect
Unlike you
When you killed me
With blue and white pills
And an emptied bottle of Jack


Sunday, August 2, 2020

Dead Hand Response


The present era believes itself to be suffering.  Corona virus quarantine, Global Warming world regime, we feel the stress and panic.  But we survived a confrontation, one that should have been fatal.  The Cold War was a contest to the death.  War by proxy, brinksmanship, and Mutual Assured Destruction led global society to madness.  As both sides grew more powerful in weapons, civilization drowned in despair.

While Democracy and Capitalism won the contest, for a brief time the darkness endured.  And it could well have been worse.  It is little known that the Soviet side had a final act in store. Should they have been attacked and the end result of failure guaranteed, algorithms were established to launch all final nuclear warheads in a Dead Hand Response.  We are all fortunate that that never happened.  Don't think for a moment that something as irrational and deadly wasn't in the arsenal of the West.

The end of the world by our own hand came so close, we have to acknowledge, the times of the present offer no close comparison. What we do, what we can do, is not pre-ordained, we can change our world. But we never will if we linger in the morass of self pity of feeling the problems are legion and unstoppable. This isn't true. We can change the world.


“In our new age of terrifying, lethal gadgets, which supplanted so swiftly the old one, the first great aggressive war, if it should come, will be launched by suicidal little madmen pressing an electronic button. Such a war will not last long and none will ever follow it. There will be no conquerors and no conquests, but only the charred bones of the dead on and uninhabited planet.”  William L. Shirer

“You have theoreticians who say, "The U.S. must stop the process of nuclear armament. We have enough already. Today America has enough nuclear weapons to destroy the other half of the world. Why should we need more than that?" Let the American nuclear specialists reason this way if they want, but for some reason the nuclear specialists of the Soviet Union—and the leaders of the Soviet Union—think differently.”  Alexander Solzhenitsyn

All images taken from public domain sources, mostly Pixabay.com and the site Wikipedia, utilizing public domain license free use.

Saturday, August 1, 2020

The Warrior

As the tedium becomes unbearable
As the suffering becomes inexorable
The enemy hiding comes out to charge
But we answer with weapon discharge
My flesh sings a sorrow tale
About my efforts to exhale
Holding the breath inside
Trying to escape suicide
I am emptied of emotion
And hardened by devotion
I am here to defend my family
To do anything else a tragedy