I refuse to heal, I refuse to change
I see the pain as a sort of souvenir
Memories that burn, can't be removed
My soul never understood, remains bereft
How I deal is fully mine to be estranged
Smiles produced in public, insincere, a veneer
So yes, I am sorry you are confused
Believe me, I have the right to remain broken
My choice isn't living or dying
Your choice left me destroyed
I became your chosen
So now, my formerly beloved
When your phone never rings
It is my words that remain unspoken
Your treatment of me is the gift that keeps giving
Let it be that way, because you are not my God
Not my savior, not the one I turn towards
When I need love, or to be forgiven
