Dear loved one When I was broken, and couldn't stand the taste of life I'd had, she'd kiss me, gently swept her hands over my face to brush away my tears. With her gone I have nothing, and I don't know what to do now, without her grace.
Spent years since then burning in sorrow and pain. What is there, tell me now, but to leave it all, because I can't start over, without her face, without her healing embrace.
Ready to die, really ready, not giving you a reason why, because I can't tell you everything. The days are long, and my life's gone wrong, and every breath I draw in echoes and rings.
I was sent to the asylum, but the group sessions felt like they were piling on. I hid the pills they gave me in my cheeks and stayed silent. Kept them for another day, if I saw my time on the horizon.
Why can't I just be quiet, read a book with my tiny light in the darkness? Can't I cry without you complaining, what I'm doing is so harmless. You don't realize, without her here, my life is dead flesh without a carcass.
Life can be lived without questioning others for their choices. Not telling you that I'm going to kill myself, I wouldn't burden you with that, and no I am not threatening. But the silence when I ask you why I should instead live is deafening.
Her name is tattooed upon my soul, not just my heart. This is the end, I'm shutting down, never again be in a position to restart. I'm falling apart, and will never be right again. Welcome to this world, recently departed, never forget, forgiveness is better than regret.
Sending my finest regards
“A sick thought can devour the body's flesh more than fever or consumption.”
