Would be and was impossibly hard
I felt everything and each thing felt like a disaster
Every bad thing felt like it happened to me
But you held my hand during my catastrophe
I am broken still by your absence
You gave me strength by your presence
And now my time is spent alone
And my home
Is empty
All my bad habits
All my fears and dislikes
Grow without your help
And I have nowhere to go
I miss you like
I never thought I could
And I know life is good
But I miss you
In every day I spend here
Without you near
And I don't know
How to go forward
Even if I pray
Even now
5 years on
Your loss
Is a cost
I can never pay
You being gone
Taxes my soul
And your loss
Leaves me unwhole
Every breath hurts
Every thought burns
And I don't want
to keep going
...
without you still
in my life
