Right Now

Right now you could take my insides
Separate them, with surgeon skills
The blade so sharp, rightly aimed
And you would find
Decay, a heart betrayed, hope so late,
Enduring hate, and foul entrails
Who can take this mess
And put it back together
No stitch or staple
Can hold it thus
Able to keep it
From pouring back out
For all I am
Is lust filled clay
Given spark from dust
And I've been flawed
From my making
From the taking
Of my soul
And thrusting it
Into a stand of meat
Into a being
Lost for eternity
By future lights
And history

Completed

I had to pursue
Convince
I had to make a case
She put me through hell
To be certain
I would last
To the end
She made me scream
She made me yell
She knew
She needed one
Who would be strong
Who would last long
To the end
Of the road
But I was patient
And completed
In my love
So it was not hard
For I saw the end
So near

Grounded

Pride in my flesh
Rather than gratitude
To the one
Greed for more
Rather than appreciation
To the maker
I chose eternal separation
Over union
I chose to be lord
Over hell
Than to serve in heaven
I chose to be alone
Than to be with many
I chose my path
I chose the wrath
That separates me

Failed Fallen Faithless

I am walking alone
Forced to leave
Home when I was young
Undone by potential
Gone through the tests
Left to roam
To find my way
There is nothing
Though
To make me stay
The love I need
Has gone away
I have fallen
I have failed
I am faithless
In the things that others heed
I am a loser
I am a loner
And I am undone
By the lack of greed

Inside I am aware

Too much going on
Too little going in
Too far from home
Standing alone
Hope is still alive
But strength is gone
Undone
By love for another
And left behind
For the wolves
I rise
But there is so little time
To get back
To my sanctuary
Of my mind

Arms Wide

I reach my arms out
Spread out wide
To embrace eternity
Without doubts
There is hope inside
In being redeemed
Salt water trickles down
My ears tear
But not for sorrow
But the joy of knowing
There is more
Than this world has given
Beyond this decay
Beyond this tragedy
There is being forgiven
And having more
Than this world gives

Warning

That she was beautiful
And said she loved me
Should have been warning
But I thought she loved me
Me
Me
And she never did
She just said she did
And the warning
Was ignored
Again and again
Until she left
With my heart in her pocket
And my spirit ripped
Broken and crushed
Laying upon the floor
Poured out
Not lust
But trust
And now
I take all warnings
Seriously

Only Pain

Some might like it
Some might crave it
I scream though
It breaks my spirit
And nobody hears the scream
Nobody hears it
I fall upon the ground
Broken and twisted in two
The sleep without dreams
The life without truth
I cry for your presence
In my life
I cry for your absence
From my life
I pray you take my soul
Separate my flesh from spirit
Use the sharpest knife
I am at your mercy
Your actions cull my being
Steal my pain away
Let me flee
Steal the pain
Which is all there is now
Aside from the stain
Of me

Soul sometimes

Being in your control
Had a cost
You stained my soul
Tattooed my face
With your name
Branded me
With your embrace
Took control
Of all my wits
And thoughts
Every movement of my mind
And without shame
I return to your arms
You own my soul
Sometimes
Despite me

The Murmansk Run

The lifeline had to be extended
The Soviet people were wounded
Supplies to fight their own battles
Had to be sent
And to do that
Men had to travel through a frozen sea
During the summer sun
Of perpetual sunlight
Where the sun silhouetted their ships
So that Nazi U-Boats
Could lay in wait
And fire



Tons and tons of war goods
Allowed the Soviets to survive
But the cost was enormous
The frozen waters
Caused men to be die
Frozen in moments
When their ships would be sunk
And Luftwaffe planes
Filled the skies



No more than a minute in the waters
Could lead to death
Ships had to stay together
For when they were dispersed
They became lost
And the lifelines severed



The cold and sinister machinations
Of those who were bent to kill them
All led to tragedy
Upon the horizons
Of the frozen waters
Men bobbed like ice cubes
Covered in oil
And dead
To keep the Soviets in the war
Until their own system could recover
And pay back the Nazis
With vengeance
Anger
That was colder
Than the Arctic

At the Asylum

Don't look for me to return
Any time soon, I am where I belong
The world cannot stand to hear my words
My voice is an irritant
My views are wrong
So I write on the walls
And speak my own name
Over and over and over
And again
But the words keep coming
And the world is still there
And all I am
Remains

X

A name chosen
To remove his brand
A life chosen
To remove a stain
X
Spoke against
Acted against
Hatred via race
Giving the former owners
Of slaves
A taste
Of fear

Warriors

They rode as one, on small ponies
They were tattooed, with blond hair
They traveled across the steppes
They fought and traded
And were feared
Their reach went far beyond their ability
To see
They didn't create an empire that would last
Instead
They spread their seed
In many peoples
Across the world
They were warriors
They were skilled
They were called Scythians
They were alive
In every moment
Whether they fought and won
Or fought and died
That I should live such
I pray

Thank you 20th C

Thank you world for your lessons
For the expressions of your anger
We are your legions
We are not kin
But strangers
We love you
For your individuality
For allowing us
To express our rage
We bow before you
And beg for our release
As we lack maturity
Yet age

sleeping in my flesh

Drowning while I sleep
The rain pours down
Like a falling knife
Some are awake throughout their surgery
Some are awake throughout their pain
But I've sleepwalked throughout my life
I've had my eyes closed to the world
For the tears I'd cry would burn
The wage of my sin is more than death
I long to sleep forever
I am tired beyond exhaustion
My mind is weary and besieged
There is nothing left to do
I've paid my dues
So if I can't sleep forever
Why can't I just leave?

Extraction

Remove my heart with a single movement
Remove my soul with a breath
Leave no room for error
I am made of flaw
I have nothing left
Your ways left me
Emptied
Your love leaves me feeling
Shamed
Your words cut me
Down
I've only myself to blame
For I allowed my self to hope
When hope had already gone
Toss my heart into the flames
Leave nothing behind
Extract my soul with a slight twist
And leave me
Crashing
Completely drained
Hang me up
By my wrists
And let me bleed

Loved in the past tense

How is it possible to unlove
How can you learn to unknow
How is it that I must undesire
For she doesn't love me
Anymore
I longed for her
I thought she was mine
But she slammed that door
In record time
How am I supposed
To unwant
To be held fast
So she might not haunt
My soul

Cleave the Ground With Power

The Spear of Destiny
That blade which pierced
Lord Jesus' side
Bears a legacy
For all time
Due to its place
In the mystery play
Of the stage of life
Is it powerful
Is it simply steel
Did it kill Jesus
Or did it outwardly spill
His holy blood
Whence he had died
Or holy wine
From the most sacred cask
Or did it even exist
And the divine play
A lie
I believe
Not in a lie
But the truth
That something unique happened
Regardless of the proof

She was Pharaoh

One who wore the beard of the pharaoh
Was not male as all others were
Hatshepset wore the crown
But she was a woman
The land of Egypt was her own
She was the highest ruler of the land
Yet she was unlike her ancestors
Who sat upon the throne
She was greatness
Meant to be remembered
But was different
So some tried to obliterate
Her memory
She was laid in a common chamber
Set aside from grace
But we found her
And remember her name

Masquerades for all, but me

Society requires a mask
To avoid the pain of birth
We wear it to work
We wear it to play
It is instinctual
We know it by DNA
There is a role to know
We create it by the day
Every mask we wear is holy
For it protects our vital soul
Our chest is vulnerable
Cascading near
The depths of an empty hole
It can be filled with one life
Or another if need be
Whatever works
I am not one
Who belongs in this world
All that is needed
I am betrayed by
I am the scream
Without a sound
I wear no mask
I am the emptiness
I am the abyss
I am the nothing that you see

CARGO

Dead or alive we exist
We are the hive
Every day of life we wonder
What is truth, what is falsehood
But there are things we know
Inside
Without thought, or detail
Yet there are some
Who commit the worst crimes
Against humanity
And never worry
Let alone wonder
How they've added to the list
Of the worst things done
Over time
Murder murder
The bodies are stacked
However ill defined


Franz Stangl

-- Cargo. They were cargo. I think it started the day I first saw the Totenlager in Treblinka. I remember Wirth standing there, next to the pits full of blue-black corpses. It had nothing to do with humanity-it couldn't have; it was a mass-a mass of rotting flesh. Wirth said, 'What shall we do with this garbage?' I think unconsciously that started me thinking of them as cargo.--

Eternal Memory

His was the moment
Greatest of the day
Hero of Qadesh
All the enemies slain
None stood before him
He was a god
Before which men prayed
He was the royal house
He answered the call
Ramses great Ramses
We bow before thee
We are dust beneath your sandals
You created ever and all

Der Schwarze Tod

Flying low to the horizon

The Black Death struck
Nazi armor crushed
Ground movement a lost function
Amidst the devastation
Caused from the air
When the Sturmoviks struck
All hope was lost

They Called Them Witches

Called the Great Patriotic War
It was catastrophic
Millions died
Even more suffered
Women fought as snipers
Took over typical male labor work
To support the troops
Flew planes and harassed the invader
Nightly
Earning them the name Witches
They were heroes
Like any men



But we remember them
Not as witches
But patriots

Spiritual inspections

I do not mistake sincerity for truth
I do not mistake hope for result
I do not look at numbers as proof
I do not look for truth in debate or insult
I do not consider volume of voice
to make a point any less moot

We all long to find God
We all desire to be near
We are all equal in God’s eyes
We are all born of flesh
We are all worthy of love

I refuse to be cynical
Towards another’s faith
I refuse to question another
When my own path is not clear
I refuse to stop loving

Due to a difference
Due to fear
Due to where I was born
Due to the color of my skin
Due to not seeing myself
In others
As if looking in a mirror

Serenity

Face carved in stone
Days carved from time
The mind built upon dreams
The spirit reaching divine
The way found in sleep
When the mind opens
The conscious is quiet
Dream a new world into being
Dream, redeem this world
From blight

When he danced

Yes he was beautiful, untouchably smooth. He was the epitome of quick, lush, and perfect to view. But he was a poor dancer, and he should have been wary, for to be in his shoes, so many would see him. He pranced about, oblivious to eternity's glare, and gazed off into the hills, with a smirk, and gleam in his eye.

The storm clouds could darken all they liked, he was going to celebrate, as he saw fit.

And the events of the last three days had made him feel good, justified, accomplished, his will had been acquitted.

He danced for three days. He danced.
But upon the third day, he found out that he was wrong.
His dance ended. It was over.
And his dance was never good.
No matter the time, effort or practice.
It was never good.

400th Entry here

TORNADO OVER BENGHAZI

Like lightning over
The Libyan desert
They strike
Cutting down
The defenses
Sent on a mission
To destroy
They are alert
For any enemy
And leave them
Defenseless
Tornadoes
From the RAF
Flown by pilots
Well trained
Who called them
To act
Who demands
Their sacrifice
The oil does
The oil does
Every addicted country
To Oil, the black mistress

Ils ne passeront pas!

Verdun
Where the flower of French youth
Was crushed
Where the German Empire crashed
Into the wall
Of French resolve
Who had promised
To let none pass

A long, unnatural, violent dream
From which no one would wake
21 February–18 December 1916
300,ooo dead
A landscape no longer beautiful
Even if made perfect
The blood red
Would make the fields
Less than pristine

A 9 month battle
Tearing two empires
From the safety
Of the world afire



Verdun is done
And forgotten
Except by the monuments
Historians with their books
And the dead
Who haunt the fields

Goodbye Osama Bin Laden

The dead pray
Like everyone else
But they are cold
And quiet
Unable
Their spirit remnant
Their pain gone
Waiting to be awakened
They pass the time
Within their minds
Praying to pass
Into the gray
Coins upon their eyes
To pay for Charon's ride
But Charon has gone
Far away

Not enough

It has begun
Here comes the flood
Here comes the rain
Why fight the rush
Bleeding and in pain
Tortured and covered
In my own unholy blood
Pouring down
My face
But nothing I can do
Can ever atone for
Everything I've done
Only one
Who was crucified
But not me
I've nothing left to say
But that what I do
What I've done
Is not enough
Not enough