Grounded

Pride in my flesh
Rather than gratitude
To the one
Greed for more
Rather than appreciation
To the maker
I chose eternal separation
Over union
I chose to be lord
Over hell
Than to serve in heaven
I chose to be alone
Than to be with many
I chose my path
I chose the wrath
That separates me

Falling

Between the snow falling
On the Spring ground
Melting
I look at the crystals
Fade away
Ever since she left
I’ve been crying cold tears
Standing outside the house
It’ll never be a home again
Not in 100 years
These tears that are falling
With no one here to catch them
I am alone for the rest of my time
Here on earth
Living with myself
Shouldn’t be a curse
But she thought it was
So why not me
Why not me
I am stain upon her soul
I am a bad memory
I am someone she would rather
Never have met
And now she is free
Why not me
Because instead
I am a curse
A curse
She cannot take any more
And won’t look back
I can’t look forward
I might as well
Be dead

Losing Faith

If you loved me you’d never leave and
If you had faith you’d never stop
Believing in me

I’ve never been able to not love you
I don’t believe in fables
I don’t believe in myth
I just linger in the echoes
Of the promise of your kiss
When you and I embraced

Take my hand
Take my hand
Let me love you

When at last I saw your face
I found my reason to exist
My faith renewed
For here you were in the flesh
Before me and I could taste
Your lips upon mine

Take my hand
Take my hand
Let me love you

And time after time
I recalled the moment
Kept in my heart
Never letting go
Remembering it
For safe keeping

And then you let me go
After I was exposed to the need
I was crushed and remain so
By the fall from your grace
Lose it all, I lost it all

If you loved me you’d never leave and
If you had faith you’d never stop
Believing in me

Shitty Motel Room Rant

It all happened differently than I’d dreamed
But I never dared disagree, with all that seemed
Staring at the ceiling laying on a mattress in winter
My motel room is cheap and I shivered
Covered poorly with blanket of fear
For the words I heard from you lips tear away the years
What is there of living if there is nothing left
What is there of me if my heart has been cleft
Into two broken pieces and the tears pour down
What is there to seek if the object doesn’t exist
Except in memory in lingering misery
I begged your indulgence and got a foot in the face
I begged your forgiveness, blood was the taste
In my mouth
My dreams had all flown South, I drove all the way with all I had
Only to find that my car was dead, my dreams were fleeting
My faith was still strong but the object I was seeking was gone
Never existed maybe, gave me false hope of something all along
Fallen dreams never mend but they function the same anyway
Now I am weary without rest
But she wouldn’t know for to her I do not exist
She wouldn’t care for my dreams persist nonetheless