The Thunder Gods: Wind and Fire

Once begun
The Divine Wind was a fire
It burned fiercely in the hearts
Of the warriors of the Rising Sun
It was unquenchable
Like a wildfire with fuel
The Kamikaze as they were called
Believed that in their death
They would ascend to heaven
Become Gods Of Thunder
Entering a pantheon
Divine protectors of their homeland

Like the god Susanoo-woo
Who sent the typhoon
The Wind that crushed
Mongols invading Japan
At Hakata Bay
The Kamikaze sought
To follow the path
The winds of the past
Had created
They entered death freel

The pilots attacked
With no chance to survive
They believed they would stop
The tide of war
Fatal calculations
One pilot = One ship
Only the anti-aircraft flak
Could slow down the Divine Wind
The fire raged
Until Japan was crushed
By a different fire
Set by American planes
And two bombs

Dreamless State

This is my life
I wait for the end
My life paid out
With wrath
That crushes souls
My journey
So long and alone
Yet I never held doubt
I walked the despised path
Hated and spat upon
Storms crushing hope
Black clouds
The bleeding rains
Pouring down
So very cold
Wounds never heal
Never rising above
Bitter shame
I can never last
But for now
I endure
But even in
Mother's arms
Even held by love
I can not sleep
Nightmares fill my head
Haunting my dreams
Until I lay
Wakeless
Yet awake
And pray
For any kind
Of relief

Nothing left, so it seems

A mockery of opportunity
We walk alone
From the garden we've been cast
The hunger for meaning
Continues forward
While we try to ignore
The past devastation
Of innocence
Childhood slashed
Forgive the stolen moments
The small torments
That color our memory
Existence is balanced
With the future's hope
And the tragedies of the past

Forgotten Warriors

In his day he'd done great things
Traveled the world
Fought for the king and won battles
None could have dreamed possible
But he was unconcerned
Never felt alone
Never loved a girl
Never worried for his future
He knew he had family
Within his unit
Closer than brothers he said
He'd be fine, taken care of
When the time came
He was in the moment
He was everything
He ever wanted to be
But some of his brothers
Were now dead
But that was part of life
Soldiers pass on
He never needed medals
Or thanks
From his country
But now
His time was ending
Upon the earth
Age and wounds
Took their toll
Soon he'd die
His spirit would be free
Until then he suffered
For despite his life
Given for the state
He was forgotten
By king and country
And it was the epitome
Of shame

 

My Service To The King

I never lost purpose

I was devoted and true

But I am tired

I obeyed every command

With distant memories

Of a young man’s dreams

With a constant awareness

Of the need for purity

I did not partake

In pleasures of the flesh

And I have grown weary

And old

With long lost desires

For complete victory

My quest is over

A knight in a lawless land

I am the last of my kind

A remnant of a fallen era

My world survives

But I surrender

My life has reached an end

My flesh is broken

Without hope I cannot endure

My being is worn

Je suis fini

My body will never mend

I cannot exist this way

And I shall pass

Into the grey

For my flesh is weak

My mind is tortured

My spirit is bound in pain

I am a tapestry in tatters

There is no future

For me

But I do trust

And I do believe

In the mission

I performed

And for those who remain

Will thrive

For the High King is worthy

And he shows mercy

To all who ask

I have served

And I am finished

But I was blessed

To perform the task

To live for the King

When nothing else mattered

I have his blessing

And his thanks

For a job well done

Burning Fields

A future form of torture
Will see my thoughts
Published as words
To my horror
My world will be upturned
When the world learns
I am waiting for your call
After all this time
I have not moved forward
The world knows my fortunes
I never give up
Because I have nothing
That is of worth
To anybody
Not even me
Don't you see
I am here still
I was left behind
And there is nothing left
But the words I think
Being read by everyone will reveal
The truth
I am nobody
I am nothing
There is nothing good
Any longer
Take a walk in my field
The grass is burned
The drought surreal
Devastation
And you never returned
To harvest my heart
You never returned
To reap my soul
The seeds were planted
And left to die
But the world still eats
There is no famine
Only one person is damaged
That is me

Clouds Or Smoke

Upon the horizon I see 

Clouds dark

Awaiting 

But without relief

I never knew sorrow, so sweet

Never had a wound, like this

Every day I see your photo

I hold back the tears, of the years

Because I know, I lost you

To the call of another

Who does all

That I cannot

I see the clouds in the sky

But they look more like smoke

Black clouds with a sheen 

That comes from being alight

My life is on fire

And there is burning

Inside my viscera

My life has been

Burned away

As if by match
And kerosene

And all I can do

Is watch

As the smoke rises

As my memories burn

So serenely

Dementia

The Angel of Death
Brings the harvest
Of the field of life
But it brings
Plagues of woe
Upon sorrow's memory
Shameful misery
She left me
Without warning
Destroying me
Cutting without a knife
She was lost
Upon a sea of dementia
Wasting her precious moments
Crushing her history
Collective humanity
An arcane mystery
Now just simple flesh
Without context
And I miss who she was
But not who she became
Did the pointed finger
Of the Angel of Death
Somehow redeem?

The Moment I Saw You

The moment I saw you
For the first time
I bit my lip to keep from saying
God have mercy upon me
I had been upon my knees
Praying
For a vision
And you were that and more
Your beauty was stunning
Beyond the reach
Of my prayer
Your mind a challenge
A mystery of grace
Filled with knowledge
And strength
I knew the moment
I saw you
That I was condemned
To forever want
What I cannot have
An irredeemable desire
A flood that could not be stemmed
That single moment
I stood
Alive for the first time
About to be crushed
By a wave
Of desire
To reach an unreachable height
Burned
In unquenchable fire

God and Swan

He saw her from a distance
He wanted her
She was seeking solace
She was uncovered
Nude but for the foliage
Around the pond
While others watched
Upon far Olympus
The gods and goddesses
Found spectacle
Found sport
In the interaction
Of these two beings
One of their own
From Olympus
Would fail, spectacularly
Despite an outwardly human form
They were not
She was a queen
Of her elvish race
He was a god
A warrior, a king
She was unmoved by his form
He was very aware
Of her, her scent
Her black hair
Her white skin
He quickened
She felt fear
She ran from him
He pursued
Closely
Desperate to escape
She transformed from nymph to swan
He stopped in his tracks
The black swan quickly leaped to the air
With a wild flapping of wings
The warrior god stared as she rose
He knew he could call upon the thunder
Or the rain, to slow her escape
But he didn't lust her
Any longer
He simply was bemused
That she was unique
Different than any other being
What other magic did she possess
Her mysterious being was so alluring
Her difference more beautiful
Than her beauty
To the god who watched

The Bones of the Necropolis

Ignorant of the prophet's words

Most barely read let alone 

To realize what was said

Ancient metropolis, emptied of life and lust

Modern necropolis, tombs and ossuaries

Bones left in the dust

The children sing odes to the dead

Future society without conscience

Lives lived without fear of consequence

A populous that died for their opulence  

But none worry, nor care

The dead take care of their own

The world painted gray and red

Nothing lives in the zone

Nothing exists all alone

The world collapsed

Upon itself

Ancient bones of steel

Concrete and plastic

Wood burned away

Nothing is left

Neither memories

Nor legacies

Remain

I am not worthy but I am amazed

I was not the one
To find it
I was not the one
To hold it
I sought the Grail
To heal my lord
Arthur, King of all Britons
The most cherished lord
Enlightened
To lead
We were sent
To quest
To find the chalice
Arthur, Briton's lion
He was the soul
Of our living land
From the ocean north
To the southern shore
Beyond Avalon's horizon
A beautiful world
Reigned over by a man
Sent by the eternal God
But the land was grieved
And the king was ill
From the breath
Of the dragon
Upon him
In full sorrow
From his loss
Of his Queen
From his wounds
Upon his heart
From Mordred
His ill conceived son
To find it was to heal him
To hold it was to heal me
But my soul was to darkened
From life's wounds grieving me
But Avalon's prince
Arthur
Would rise again
And then the world
Would be made good

Winds of my soul, blow through

  Cast out and filled with doubt

I have fallen

Again

My flesh now cold

Winter without snow

Winds blow

Burn inside of me

Inside my soul

As I am cast aside

Losing a sacred destiny

Out of my reach

Future consumed

A quest failed

Disconsolate

Deeply wounded

Broken

Crows call out

Telling me to look

Beyond myself

Through my cloak of sorrow

Wrapped across this body

The pain flows

I was burning inside

My eyes were dry

I had cried

Bitter tears

Every time

They had poured down

Like a flood

Over the barren desert plain

From my deepest pain

Dust came rising up

From my boots

In the Valley of Death

I wore a crown of thorns

Caked in blood

And dirt

My destiny fading

I had no home

I walked

Alone

Broken by cynical fears

Broken by jaded dreams

Alone

Until you came to my side

I finally woke unto my being

My flesh became alive

When I tasted your soul

I became worthwhile

When I touched

Your hand

I became hope

You amaze me

Your spirit is flying

High above the surface

Beyond anything I know

Exquisite and elegant

Angelic vision

Otherworld exotic

Beauty beyond measure

Nothing so vulgar or erotic

You are a higher being

Above all humanity

Holding me

As you soar

Teaching me the truth

As your celestial spirit beams

Far from the land I know

From Eden to urbanity

From existence

To surreality

Yours is the star

Rising over the horizon

To be celebrated by lower beings

Because you are worthy

Of the love and adoration

Renewed 

I feel your serenity

As the peace surrounds you

A blanket of stars

Wrap us tightly

I am by your side

You are healing me

From a lifetime

That had scarred

My soul

You are my destiny

Reborn

I know

This

Now I know

I fall before the Grail

The depths of my failings

Go far beyond simple sin

I am unable to remove 

The flaw

For my failing covers

All

I am unable to stop

I am unable to slow

My descent

I am only able

To perform dissection

For my wounds

Cleanse me

My life

My faith

My sorrows

Wound me

I grieve my imperfection

I have failed

My God

My King

My self

But I strive forward

And repent

My resurrection

Will come

When I die

In the service

Of my King

My brother Arthur

And God

In Love and Sleep

Hylas was a poet

A warrior, and friend

A companion of Heracles

Became tired, exhausted even

From the epic journey

Still without end

Laying upon the river bank

He heard the water rush

And soon fell asleep

And there he dreamed

Of the world called 

The land of the Faer

Filled with beauty

And longing

And magic

He woke with a start

To see a nereid watching

From water's edge

As he slept

He couldn't decide

If he was awake or still dreaming

So he gently welcomed 

Her attentions

And drifted

Back to dream

Of where he was

In sleep

Thread

Some who don't believe

Suggest I should try to die

Because I believe in eternity

Some who do believe

Say there should not be suicide

Because it violates God's creed

I say that my life is my fate

My journey comes from inside

And my path isn't for debate

I do believe

And have tried 

To live in a way to please my God

I hang on here by a thread

Because of those who I love

But I'm ready for the Isle of the Dead

The thread weaves through my life

My son and my wife

And all of my family and friends

Damn him

As if it needs to be hidden
So surreptitious
They say that he can make you do it
Cupid makes people fall in love
By shooting their hearts with arrows
Love is so capricious?
I say if anyone sees him doing it
Grab him before he flies away
And shove those arrows
Where his butt cheeks narrow

I am Broken, Again

Broken again
Your arms reach out
And my fear is tamed
I can't help but hope
When I hear your voice
Calling me
To be embraced
In your arms
Soothed until
My tears fade
There is only you for me
Nothing else helps me through
This existence tears
Me apart at the seams
Your love frees me
Mends my heart
Reminds me of heaven
Let me soar in the sky
Where I touch the stars
With you
Your hand in mine
Soft but holding
Me from falling
Apart
Again
Like always
Falling
But caught
In your arms
Softly
Softly

Farewell

Her beauty moved men

But she was more than beautiful

Bright and thoughtful

Was filled with questions

Lived to know the answers

She was wounded by life

But still tried

When is a life perfect?

When can we know it is good

Cathy sleeps in Elysium

I miss her now and forever

But she can now find all the answers

And is no longer misunderstood

Farewell beautiful spirit

Broken for the pleasure of others

Farewell my friend

Farewell

You live anew

While my sorrow smothers

The Far Edge of Existence

I walked all the way

To the far edge of existence

I didn't find you waiting there

Like a kid for Christmas

What there was

What there should have been

Two different things

But I got neither

For my persistence

All I found

Was wanting

Needing

And no relent

To the torment

Of being without you 

Not even for a fucking moment

I  miss you

Your scent

Your sound

Your presence

And I am left alone

Forever in your absence

And still searching

Finding no 

Contentment

Grieving the Innocence Lost

I believe that
We are courting doom
Not by ignorance
But apathy
And the lack
Of humanity

Someday soon
We will be able to clone
And selectively breed
So humans can live longer

That is
Except for those
Harvested for parts
Killed in utero
For the convenience
Those bred to die
The future world
Will be even more cold
As we become meat
And wars are no longer fought
For virtues and ideals
But for gold
Wrought from greed
And the human transformation
Into machine
















Henry Adams 
Photo Credit:
 Foter.com / Public Domain Mark 1.0

Toxic Life

I did endure
Called from the darkness
Survived toxic waste
Avoiding cultural pollution
Having seen life I know
Truth is not the solution
Death is not an answer
However
My life has been apportioned
And I accept my punishment
Execution by your hand
Awaits
Have I survived
My adult abortion
No matter how I am judged
My continued existence
Reveals only resistance
To the notion
That others control my life
Your decision
Negates my position
Within the boundaries
Of your womb
It became my tomb
A pool of blood
In which I drown
Flushed down
With all the waste
Rejected for the flaw
Of being unforgiven
For being called
Unwanted
Out the darkness I crawled
Despair
As life retaliates
Against my life
Unworthy of living
Conduis-moi comme
Un agneau à l'abattoir
Je chagrin ma chair

Goodbye Good Friend

Good friend
I could see it in your eyes
You looked so tired
Then I never saw you again
Until you were gone forever
Dressed to be buried
Your frozen frame displayed for all
In a pine box with soft velvet
Inside
People walking by crying
You laying there
Not sleeping
Your spirit flown
Walking away
No more pain
Winter always follows Fall
Seasons pass by
I can't say
I wish you were still here
You are now
On the other side
That has to be better
Than this place
Where all dreams go to die
If you are listening
I love you
I miss you
Goodbye

Abyssus Abyssum Invocat

Abyssus abyssum invocat

From our place 

Upon the face

Of this earth

We have only to view

All of nature's beauty

To see

We are not cursed

But blessed

By the depth

Of eternity

Where the deep

Calls unto the deep

We are created

To create

To enter

Eternity

Together

We are alive

To give love

And to give

And forgive

One another

Forever

Wounds Unseen

Wounds of my being
From love unrequited
From life
Unlived
Within a world with hurt
Unrelenting
Leaves scars
Scars that are hidden
While I remain bleeding

My scars are still there

I see them in reflection
While others do not
I see them all
My wounds are unseen
I know what life does
What love does
What we do not have

We know that our hearts
Will be broken
Before the final fall
Our soul bears the pain
Of the sacrifice
We are made new only by offerings
Of tears and wholeness
For our broken spirit

Remains with memory of the pain
Remains with the scars of the day
We confessed our love
We opened our hearts
To one who could break us
Or
Give our love justice
By returning it
And that turns the cost
Into nothing

The Sea, The Devastation

So horrible
None could believe
It had happened
It was reality
Despite the surreal power
The event with
Stunning results
We remember
Forever
We remember so that the future
Does not forget
The tales that the elder races still tell
A catastrophe
So powerful
To be the death knell
Of a civilization
Bells rung in honor of their loss
In every port
Showing simply
Their respect
They struck the bells
In solemn memory
For the sorrow
A distant continent
Fell from view
During a shattering quake
With enormous swells
The waves grew
Wounding the earth
Where the sea reached up
And swallowed down
The near west of the land
Near the gates of Hell
A castle upon the coast
Crushed
Killing the people
Fear was rampant
Terror the common woe
Destroyed citadels
Left behind
They moved inland
The ocean reached forward
And swallowed
Whole
And the bones of the buildings
Speak only of the toll
Of the final days
Of the place

The Úlfhéðnar of the Rus

For his pleasure we were called

To be the children of Odin

We are his warriors

And have moved

Across oceans

Over deserts

Through forests

To reach the destination

The ground trembles

As we arrive before

The enemy’s fortress

berserkir

berserkir

Are we prepared to die

If the Grey god calls

We must be ready

We are primed for battle

The war horns call out

Making my blood boil

My breathing rhythmic

My pulse rising

My rage grows deep

Inside me churns

About to escape

The beast within me

Responds

berserkir

berserkir

My muscles contract

My countenance focused

I abandon my shield

In each hand I hold an axe

I enter battle

And become

A crimson wave of death

Soon I am covered

My hands become sticky

Slimy with the blood

Of the enemy

The Valkyries

Will soon be busy

berserkir

berserkir

The field smothered

With broken bodies

The grass becomes greasy

From the enemy’s blood

The fields will someday bloom

My body is wet

Red from the viscera

Covering me

Valhalla is watching

This battle is proof

I’ve harvested already

So many men

The realm of Hel

Will be pleased

For I’ve sent men

To the land of the dead

berserkir

berserkir

In the future

Upon this site

Young lovers will walk

Here and there they might find

A trinket or bone

From the warriors fallen

The enemy dead left behind

berserkir

berserkir

To my king, I am his weapon

To the enemy, their doom

A disaster I am

Every blow will land

They pile up before me

All of them dead

The enemy was driven

From the field

Like dust before a broom

None escape

None stand alive

And all I see is red

berserkir

berserkir

I'd Rather Dance and Sing

I have slept during the scholar's teaching

Have imagined Elysium in the company of saints

Drifted off in thought

I have dreamed of a world without pain

While the world burned

Again

I slept rather than learn
Because I am content

The world calls my name

It is too serious

I am too tired
The world is busy

 Making gadgets and gizmos
 Fighting many wars
They tell me to be ashamed
But
I believe in peace
I believe in simplicity
And care nothing for fame

Not Again

You tell me not to cry
You say it every day
Tears of pain go away
But the scars remain
Upon my body
Or my soul
Your strict hand
Teaching obedience
Cannot understand
What you did to me
Nor I your desire to control
All I am
If you loved me
You would not do
What you do to me
You don't give a damn
You don't care at all
And my life
Is still in shambles
And my heart
Is still on fire
From the humiliation
From the domination
So I cry
And the tears go away
But they'll be back
When the day is done
I might lose
But you haven't won
I might die
But you'll never control
All I am
Ever again
Don't look away
I'm unashamed
Of my voice
Of my fist
Raised

What is left after the pyre

I ask why, why try
To change the world?
When time passes
And I stand still?
Everything that lives
Will some day die
Everything in me
That is good
Will flee with my ashes
Light the fire
Cast my ashes upon the wind
Rise to the sky
Place my body upon a pyre
Choose the truth, not the lie
Face the reality
That we are impermanent
Our flesh will not transcend
The moment
Only your soul
Will fly
From this place

SORROW OF THE CTHULHU SPAWN

ORDER HERE 

Thanks to JM Hunter and Evette Langford for their format and design help.

A collection of journal entries, prose, and verse, in the world where Cthulhu is a God.

Words by Alex Ness
Art by Caspar David Friedrich

Great Theseus

Theseus, child of the earth
Also born of the Gods
Possessed of a birthright
A royal charge

One day he'd be king
Son of two fathers
Raised in secret
By his mother

He grew up loved and brave
A child of destiny
While his peers
Hungered solely for power

Theseus was different
A DemiGod
Young but wise
Courageous yet insightful

Theseus was nonetheless willing
To give his life for his people
After Athens had angered 
The King of Crete, Minos

He, who long harbored a grudge
Asked for a ritual sacrifice
The youth of Athens
Would die in fear

Prey within the labyrinth
The Minotaur would hunt them
Would track them
Slay them

He hungered to feast
Upon the innocent
The slaughter of Athenian youth
Would feed his belly

Despite his lineage Theseus would face
The possibility of a cruel death
By taking the place of one
Meant for the sacrifice

He was given spool of thread
By the daughter of the Cretean king
Who had fallen in love
And didn't want Theseus dead

With stealth he made his way through the maze
Theseus was ready
Found, then attacked the minotaur
And struggled until only one lived

Theseus rose from the ground
Having killed his foe
And the aura of fate
Embraced him

He was a hero
A Demigod
A man
And king

Farewell Dominic Postiglione

Dominic Postiglione was one of my first and most steadfast supporters of my work.  He passed away today.  And he will be missed, deeply.  Farewell friend, I offer a Viking funeral for your courageous heart.

Just a Walk in the Forest

They say that the
Ghosts of the hopeless
Live there
Within the glory
Of the woven green
A mystical fantastic
Life spun forest
God's hand is evident
In the complex creation
Where plants and animals
Dwell
So beautiful and perfectly silent
The ghosts scream without sound
For this is holy ground
Never to be disturbed
By the hope of man
The dead live there
Taken there
By their own hands

The Suicide Forest

Photo Credit

A Problem with Numbers

(Media Credit)

Like a clock

Or a watch

Or sundial

I endure

I move on
I run

I am alive

When others leave

I can't see

Why 

I should

Move on

Knowing you ran away

I live

But don't know

Why

I bothered

I am all I ever will be

I am who I want to be

But you

Don't like what I am

Or who I might become

So that is a problem

A problem without an answer

tick

tick ticking

Clock goes on

Spinning around the numbers

Faster and faster

I know 

I can't last

Our Own Crucifixions

We often prefer the lie

But not for the ease of belief

Rather

We need hard realities

Broken down

The stories we are told

Rarely are true

But they are portions

That are more real

Than truth

Small little fictions

To remind us

Of the reality we understand

We forget

Our own crucifixions

We forget

How life takes our joy

Snatches it away

With nails through our hands
And our very own

Crown of thorns

That we pull down

Upon our skull

We sorrow 

But we linger

In the echoes

Of the pain

Of the moment

Even

When that is

Torment

Hope Is a Liar

From here

I don't have to be

Anyone but me

In my home

I never leave

Like a movie CD

Stuck in place

Playing the same scene

Misery over and over

Forever took too long to end

Legacies entwined

I wish to be alone

Leave me my friend

I wish to die

Alone

I can sit in this room

Without your company

Without your presence

To give me hope

I prefer living without

Hope is for those 

Who will lose

Everything

My life is my own

To give or take back

From others

Nothing needing to be atoned

Because I never understood

Buffered and not in colour

Thoughts of despair

That only exist

Because you insist

That you care

But you do not

So I resist

Your love isn't fair

And never will be

Destroyer

Approaching midnight

The last train leaves the station

For the terminal

I am desolation without solace

I have sought your way

My body is frail

Without you I fail

I fall to the ground in a heap

Alone staring, at the track

I walked the path

Of the righteous

Without righteousness

Without fulfillment

Without the joy

Enduring only wrath

By my own hand

I am the destroyer

I am the one

Who murders memory

I will destroy all evidence

Of my existence

Leaving only a legacy

Of pain and sorrow

I wait, without hope

For you to return

From terminus

Eternus

Eternus

Raw pain empties

Into nothingness

Ghosts in my mind

Of past days fleeting

I have only one hope

For justice

And it is you

Redeeming me

Soul Afire

In all my wretched existence 
I never saw anyone like her
She was a dream in real time
Perfect and exquisite
A poem in body form
An image I could not extinguish
She filled my mind with
A fire inside my soul
Burning with her name
Across my heart
So intricately woven
I am without shame
She is elegant beyond words
Moving so quickly
Through my thoughts
I can never relinquish
Her memory from my being
So delicate this soul afire
Consumed by passions
While I linger
In the moment
She took my heart