When the Wind

When the wind stops blowing
When the sun stops burning
When my heart stops beating
When my blood turns cold
When the world stops turning
When all the oceans stop churning
When my eyes turn empty
When I flee with my soul
This earth may die
All the flesh will grow old
This world will pass from view
Still
I will never bid you adieu
I will never say goodbye
For you are my love
You are my life
You are the truth
That fills me inside
You are the one
That my heart burns for
You are the one
Who brings me alive
When the world stops living
I will still be alive
And I will always desire
To be with you more
You are my love
Alone

A Simple Girl named Joan

In her heart burned sorrow for her country
Her king was tested by the English
She was unable to speak what she felt
But had visions inside
They forced her to act
To be reviled as a fool
Perhaps
The visions would surface
And she would be received
By the king
Lead the armies
Break the siege
Around Orleans

A girl who dressed like a boy
Prayed like a monk
Made war like a general
Led a people to arms
Broke the siege
Around the city
Even as the English taunted
For how could a girl
Lead an army of men in war
She was called many things

A prostitute
A bitch
A slut
An apostate
A whore
A witch
But what she was
Was a woman
Blessed with a vision
Remembered for
Leading her country
From another country's grip
To freedom
To greatness
Betrayed and dying a martyr

Jeanne d'Arc

Bast, God, and the Gift

You are welcome to believe
What you wish about God
Gods and Goddesses
I believe in the creator
With ever fiber of my soul
And I believe God's message
Is love, eternal love
I sorrow the lost opportunities
That I had
But I give God all praise
For the blessings he has given me
And the reminders of his love
That have shown me his grace
Mischa
Simone
Katya
Sophia
Blessings that others might not see
But they remind me
Comfort me
Are proof to me
Of their divinity
Of his love
Of the love for my being




















(Photo credit)














Proxy photo for my Mischa
( photo credit )











Proxy photo for my Simone
(photo credit)

My Sophia

My Katya

Love in Ruins

Only tenderness is wrought
By the acts of love
Even when the world is in ruins
All around us
No battles need be fought
No battles to be won
No rebirth from the womb
Only Justice
When there is love
In a world shaken to its roots
Buildings fallen
Torrential rain pouring down
There still can be good
With love in the ruins
Simple love

Beauty in the Grass

After my Lord's army
Had all but vanquished the foe
We had entered a period of rest
I'd then dreamed of solace from war
I had been tempted by my weakness
To waver from my quest
I'd given up all my belongings
I'd sworn off all pleasures of the flesh
I'd forsaken all treasures for HIM
And now in the lull of battle
When my body was weakened
I stepped into the garden for air
And saw her reclining
In perfect splendor
Beauty in the grass
I gave in to despair
Tears flowed down
For here she was
I wanted her so
I lusted her flesh indeed
And turned from her beauty
As if it were ugliness
And rejected my sins
Embarrassed and ashamed
That inside at least
I'd allowed my self
To shame my creed
So I went back into the battle
Unrested
Unready
Unclean

My Warrior, My Elizabeth

So tired from her passionate fight
Justice doesn't wait
But she is tired and sleep calls
So lays in abject glory
So pure in her beauty
Unspoiled
Dreaming of soaring
In silvery skies
Sleeping
Wanting only joyous thoughts
Revels in purity
She is lovely
Yes
She is my heart's only desire
Laying there
My Elizabeth
Quiet so quiet
Peacefully dreaming
But her heart is afire
With knowing
She is held in place
By angel wings
And warrior's fire
She knows I wait
Forever if needed
So she sleeps
And I am here
When she breathes
I hear
She dreams
I am near
She sighs in her sleep
She is my dear
My Elizabeth
My loved one
My only love
My only
When you awake soon
I will be here


(art by Jeffery Catherine Jones)

Just a kiss, just a kiss?

Your lips drive me mad
Tease me into believing
That dreams can be had
With you
Your kiss
Makes me miss
The days of innocence
I once knew
But no longer do
Once I walked
Through hellsfire
To reach this place
Sulfur burning
The wounded suffer
But it isn't hell
Nor heaven
Neither destiny
Nor fate
That drove me here
Only your lips
Your kiss
The perfume of
Your luxurious love
The glories of
Your treasures beckon
I stand awake from the tomb
I leave aside and behind me
The prophet's call of doom
For you are love
And your lips are my hope
My passion
My desire

You Left Me Behind

I can't sleep without dreaming
But with you gone forever
I can't dream any more
I can't breathe without thinking
What will I do without you
Since you shut the door
When you went away
Since you took my heart
On that cold day
You left me behind
Knowing that I
Would never wake up
From this coma
That you left me in
Since the sleep won't come
Without the dream
That you took from me

When I am Zero, Will I see you waiting?

When my heart is broken and my tears stain my face
And I've not slept for days
In the morning
Will I see you there
Waiting
When my life is beyond repair, fallen from the shelf
You've kept me upon
In the daylight
Will you be there
Waiting
Waiting for me
When I have given up, I don't care, anymore
Weakness, sorrow and pain grieve me
In the evening darkness
Will you be there
Waiting
Or am I alone
Like I have always been
Alone in the crowded room
Alone in standing room only arena
Waiting for you to see me
Screaming for you to take my hand
Begging for your attention
Daddy hold me
Take me away
From this world
Make it safe and beautiful
Again
Like it never was
When I was a child
I never was before

Burning Memories

In feigned glory of democracy and free speech
Some believe in, and, others allow -- denial
But the truth exists in the evidence of the past
All it takes is eyes to see
A nose to smell the burnt offerings
And a heart to hear the screams

Où est la justice?

Il n'est pas autorisé à travailler parce qu'il est noir
Il doit fermer la clef la porte chaque soir
Il est mort, parce que c'est peaux n'etait pas blanche
Mais, il a vecu pour la justice et la savoir

( for those interested in a translation, click here )

The One, I am

I sat upon the moon of a distant planet
Stared into the darkness and pointed
And stars came into view
Because I planned it
For my pleasure
Life is born
Before the universe existed
I am
Before the universe had life
I was
The circle has no start
No ending
Something has always been
I am

Urban Eden

In the lush forest of existence of the extravagance of the leisure
I walked into the center of the capital of all the luxury
Built with exquisite energy and effort and all the empire's treasures
What I saw would shock me for the rest of my life, however unwealthy
I saw glass and steel shattered, like so many dreams of man
I saw melted stone and wood collapsed
Like so many hearts and hopes we have
I saw decay abundant
I saw devastation beyond decay
I saw abhorrent things
I cannot relate
And the world around me
Fell to my feet
As the people looked around and said
How beautiful is this,
The world that we have made

Entombed in living flesh

I walked along the shore
Of a lake frozen closed
I stepped upon the surface
The ice held my weight
Although my sorrow was heavy
The ice neither cracked nor leaked
I looked down into the ice
And saw a face frozen looking up
It didn't scream, it didn't cry
It didn't move, it didn't speak
All it did was exist
Much like me here
Frozen or unfrozen
All it did was exist
In the living or gray
I have to be more
I have to escape
The unliving life
The slumber of the waking
The existing just to exist
Thaw my being
So that I might truly live
Warm my soul
So that I might be alive

Into the Mist the Walker Walks

As the morning mist rises
A walker can be seen walking
There is no sound surrounding him
There is no scene to be seen
He just walks into the mist
Where the world collapses
The gray melts into white
And the world spins away
Without his knowing
Without his caring
The world moves on
Alone
The mist is there
He doesn't care
The walker walks
And is going home

UnreifeKirsche

Obscured by the Mists of Oblivion

Forgive me, my Princess
I've searched beyond all meridians
I've searched for you
But I've been lost, my love
In the mists of oblivion
Where there is no light nor darkness
My way obscured by sorrow
Yes I know
The flesh should not be missed
It is transient
The spirit lives forever
So until I find you
I will search
With Innocence
Love
Faithfullness
I will search
And I will find you
Once again
I promise

Nothing for them

Living in condemnation
They die
25,000 every day
750,000 per month
8.5 million per year
Children die from starvation
No salvation
No hope
Just death and dying
Bleeding and crying
While the western world grows fat
Upon the spoils of the wars
Of the rest of the world
Fighting over the scraps
Remaining

The Field Awaits the Reaper

The harvest waits
Redemption begins
But the trauma of birth
The sowing is remembered
The point of being kept sacred
Humanity's December put off
By the knowledge of the harvest
Delayed
The harvest waits
We are compelled
To begin again
For who knows when
The sun will shine
Again like this
So warmly

The Other Side

We see nothing but that which is before us
They see through time
Staring into the dreamscape
Our sleeping world is silent
They are able
To enter the other side
We are waiting for the moment
When creation is quiet
But the ravens watch
And see through
The veil of reality
Replacing the mists of naught
And see the truth

ворон
Watari karasu
Corbeau
Cuervo
Fhiaigh

You are Unique, Yes

You have our full attention
Only you possess this moment
Freshly given this place
Hungry for our affection
Surely given an embrace
You represent hope
Of life over oblivion
We all tremble in the presence
You will change the world
Nothing will go to waste
You are the future
We are the past
Take this moment and never let go
Make your time last



“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”  Pablo Casals

Fierce Love

Fierce in love
Soft in the heart
Eyes like flame
My dreams afire
In you
Fill me full
Alive with you
Gentle kisses upon my face
Tender touches upon my soul
Emotions I can't describe
Only the word alive will do
You are the one to fill my cup
You are the only one
I run to you
Alive in you
You are the one I need
I run to you
Alive in you
You make me believe
Because you are love
Made of love
And never cease
To love me

I am Become Desolation

I wish I'd never met you
I wish I'd never seen your eyes
You brought famine to my soul
You made me linger in denial
Barren land of hope
I refuse to cross
Yet when I see you
I want you
Because I know you
I need you
And I know that you aren't there
Waiting
Plague of sorrows wound me
Because I know you
Now my soul stripped bare
My flesh is all that remains
Waiting to die without you
You are gone
I am become desolation
I am shame

Flesh, my decay

My lust
Finger on my trigger
Noose around my neck
Lethal injection delivered
Blade that dissects the flesh
Unleashing the flame
Uncontrolled fire inside
All I can do is watch
As my flesh commits
Sexicide
Take me down that road
Lead me to oblivion
Let me writhe in lust
Slowly, so slowly
Until I am blind to all it does
Eat my soul away, let me die
Blind my eyes
Eat my soul
Destroy my life
My flesh causes my soul to decay

When Stars Stood Still

The stars stood still for you
The sky spread wide apart
The day felt so new
This was a fresh start
The earth was ill prepared
For the gift you shared
The bridge was placed
Between the flesh and the word
The journey offered
Narrow and difficult
But the reward
So good
So pure
So worthy

Dusts of Oblivion

Perhaps,
In you there is nothing for me
My insides are scarred from life
But I made a vow and I mean to be true
You linger here, seemingly
With nothing in your heart
I keeping waiting for the love to renew
And the truth comforts me
Because a burnt forest takes time to grow
The world can pass before I stop 
My heart was broken but I keep vigil
Waiting
Waiting for you to know
I am not going anywhere without you
My resolve is rigid, my faith is strong
I will love you til there are no stars in the sky
Until all hope is gone
Waiting
Waiting for you to know
I'm never leaving, not leaving you
Until the winds of oblivion blow
Dust through my skeletal hand

Fatal Fascination

Only a person who has
seen these things, could
know these things, could
desire these things.

Only a person with a problem
in his head, could imagine the
dead by his hand.

I am a poem unspoken

These wounds are grievous
But I must bleed
I am not someone's desire
I have no one to love me
I am broken into pieces
Unredeemed and crying
Not a mystery
Nor a secret
No one will be my fire
Wind without a sail, breath without lungs
I am broken, a poem unspoken
Tears keep falling down
I miss you now
Like I loved you then
Fully and fulfilled
My sorrow is my crown
Worn like a king of nothing
Surround by a mansion
Of empty rooms
I am worthless without you
Devastated by this ruthless knowledge that
I am alone, I will be forever
Having known you, having lost you
Having had you call my name
I wish I were dead
Instead I am a king of this emptiness
And wear my crown of shame
Upon my turned down head
So no one sees these tears
Of failure

Unrequited Kiss

I long for the kiss of Azrael
But he refuses to allow it
I wish to go away forever
It is just out of reach

I attempt to surrender
But it is ignored
There is more of me lost
Than will ever be found

Necrotic at the core
I am less living than dead
No memories left to remember
Grown cold and laying

Upon this frozen ground
The clouds above a confluence
Of darkness and light
Never stopping

Dancing before earth's auditorium
They are comforting but silent
Yet they beckon me
To go to the other side

The prison of flesh is my tedium
The other side is freedom
The clouds spin
The spiral of energy flows

The opera sings my requiem
But I am still here
Who refuses to sever
The chains that bind me to this place

I am ready to leave
Let me fly
Life is my pain and death my opium
The door is open

Azrael kiss me, kiss me deadly


 

untitled

Some think that the universe has justice
Some believe that life is good
Some believe that all the pain
We feel
Ultimately will remind us
Of what is true
Of what is worthy
Of what is just
But I don't know
I've no idea
I believe life just is
I believe that we exist
I believe all there is
Is what there is
And God knows
Why we live
Why we die
Why we sorrow
Laugh or cry
I don't know any more
Don't know the path
Don't know how to find
Heaven's door
With every dagger's twist
Every ironic shift
From every hope
To resolute exhaustive surrender
I don't know why we are here
And I don't want to remember
I just wish to sleep
I just wish
To go away
Dream of the end
In my cold little place
In my cold little world

Worn

This sorrow wears me
I am worn like a blanket
Weighted with lead
Drowning
My dreams have died
My flesh is cold
I've nothing but sorrow inside
Driving me down
Driving me down
Where nothing lives
A blackness fecund
Torments and chains
Holding me down
With no need to commit suicide
My life flees
Upon its own
and my sorrow
wears me
Like a fucking crown

The Adams Monument by Augustus Saint-Gaudens

Beauty in Ice

Amidst this frozen miracle
The winter darkness
Still bears life
I am fascinated by
Pure water forming ice
Patterns form and are beautiful
Delicate yet sharply defined
Coldly etched upon the surface
Time will erase them
The day will birth
The sun will rise
They will melt and fade
But until the thaw comes
I am content
To look at them
And wonder at them
Because their beauty reminds me
That nothing lasts forever
No matter how beautiful they might be

(Photo Copyright Owned by...)

Beneath the ice

Overhead an eagle flies
Above the snow field
Beneath the river ice
My stream still flows
In winter I am
Still alive
Upon the surface
A crow dances upon the snow
For life exists
No matter the season
I must persevere
Despite my sorrow
Despite the many reasons
I find
To not go on
There will be no winter kill
I will not enter
Oblivion
Willingly

Passion without fear

Like a beast
Without shame
It is within me
It hunts without fear
Unwilling to be tamed
Wild, passionate
Unsubtle but silent
Hungry but restrained
Hidden but real
My passion for you
Cannot be held back
I long for you
Like a beast
Upon the hunt
Your being near me
Like a feast
Your lips
My desire
In my heart
A beast hunts your being
That beast is unquenched
With absolute fire

Fair Nymphaea

A fool perhaps
I was immune to the fear
Because I dreamed
I saw hope instead
Of the red skies
The doom that covered the horizon
The sleep of the gods
The seed of oblivion
Passing not born
Because I saw your beauty
In a world torn with pain
I saw someone so unique
The sorrow of the tomb
Emptied with the proof
That love is eternal
That we might know the truth
By one who is in soul bloom
Nymphaea
Nymphaea
Beautiful princess

(photo copyright-- Yoko Nekonomania)

Like Sheep to Slaughter

We enter the slaughterhouse
By our own design
Giving up the joy
The hope
The dream
Giving our life
For instant pleasure
For instant death
By the inch
We created the slaughterhouse
The one we will die in
For our love of things
For sins
That kill us

Wie Schafe zur Schlachtbank geführt

They tell me

Told to go on
But I can't
Told to stay strong
But I'm not
Told its a long road
But I am tired
I don't have enough
To share
Don't have it in me
Anywhere
I am exhausted
In every way
So I break
There is nothing to do
There is nothing to say
I'm just here
For other's sake
I don't care anymore
I don't want to care
Ever again
I am undone
Undone
My spirit is slain
I am flesh
But without the will
To remain
So cold

Seeds

I cry until my heart is drenched 
Loving you should mean
I am grateful
But that is too hard
In the absence
Sometimes I bleed
From desire
Unquenched
I grow bitter
Without your love
But
Both gratitude and bitterness are seeds
That bear fruit
Hope is a fire
Inside I am dying
From the desire
To love you
I vacillate between hope
And the pain
Of nothing

Zion's Lions

Hounded for their wealth
Hunted for their race
Hated for their beliefs
Killed for being alive
They chose instead to stand
If they set their weapons down
They would die
If the other wanted peace
War would end

Alone now and forever

I can't survive the sorrow
Your absence punishes me
There is no hope
Nothing can redeem
How I miss you now
And will never be free
Tears of sadness
Streaming down
The place I stand
Becomes unholy ground
For there will never be
A way for me to be
Healed
Hopeful
I need to be released
From this endless prison sentence
Of missing you
Of being alone now
Without your presence
I can't survive the sorrow
My heart will always grieve
I have no way of leaving
This unholy place
I made for myself
Without you
Now
And forever

Clash

In the bowels of the earth
Even below river Styx
To the depths of Hell
Oni and their master
Torture stolen souls

For the dead this is a curse
All hope is eclipsed
And their spark is but a shell
They burn and hear laughter
The ringmaster has complete control

For the rich there is hunger and thirst
Their beings are transfixed
As they hear the ringing of tolling bells
The Archduke of Hell has an answer
Telling all to enter the shadows

The Hells are neither safe nor fair
The burning, suffering, leather whips
Here only the evil dwell
For the lost their past is a cancer
The bodies covered in eulogy and black roses

But one samurai challenged the fear
He entered the dark realms alone
Wearing common armor and sword
Refusing worry, he acted swiftly

Ready when Oni appeared
He'd find victory or never return home
The demons attacked as a horde
The knight battled deftly

While this dark realm causes bitter tears
The samurai had come fulfilling Bushido
He accepted death as part of life and words
His will and sword were at once deadly

Finally the samurai cut through the terror
Closing his thoughts and raising his ego
The enemy was beaten, except for the guards
And shortly they'd be met, by one who acted directly

Upon the throne the ringmaster sat
Holding in chains the hostage
That the samurai sought to free

The samurai walked forth bravely
The enemy completed exhausted
Only innocent blood can be used to redeem

At once the Samurai jumped to throne's steps
And reached for the hostage to take her
The ringmaster stared coldly
For he had been tempted
To keep his prize
But decided that time would deliver
His ultimate goals